Re: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

[Guest guest]

, how devastating, Im so sorry. This is one of the worst things we have to deal with as parents of ASd kids. Theres no point me saying try to not let it bother you too much, of course it bothers you and makes you feel even more alienated in this selfish world. My thoughts are with you, chin up,

Love Clair

autism From: bashful373@...Date: Fri, 2 Oct 2009 05:18:45 +0000Subject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,I'm struggling right now.I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"I am tearfully heartbroken.She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly).I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

Beyond Hotmail - see what else you can do with Windows Live. Find out more.

[Guest guest]

, how devastating, Im so sorry. This is one of the worst things we have to deal with as parents of ASd kids. Theres no point me saying try to not let it bother you too much, of course it bothers you and makes you feel even more alienated in this selfish world. My thoughts are with you, chin up,

Love Clair

autism From: bashful373@...Date: Fri, 2 Oct 2009 05:18:45 +0000Subject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,I'm struggling right now.I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"I am tearfully heartbroken.She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly).I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

Beyond Hotmail - see what else you can do with Windows Live. Find out more.

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry for your pain, . I'v been there; I understand. Love and blessings, Pat K

Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling right now.

I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"

I am tearfully heartbroken.

She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly).

I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).

My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry for your pain, . I'v been there; I understand. Love and blessings, Pat K

Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling right now.

I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"

I am tearfully heartbroken.

She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly).

I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).

My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

,

I am so sorry that your friends made you feel so Bad.. I know its hard trying to fit our chldren with Autism in a NT world.. My son is 7 and has Classic Autism.. My heart is sad for you...

Lesley

-- Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,I'm struggling right now.I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"I am tearfully heartbroken.She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly).I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

,

I am so sorry that your friends made you feel so Bad.. I know its hard trying to fit our chldren with Autism in a NT world.. My son is 7 and has Classic Autism.. My heart is sad for you...

Lesley

-- Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,I'm struggling right now.I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"I am tearfully heartbroken.She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly).I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

,

I had a similar situation a few years ago. One Saturday we were out raking the leaves and our neighbor put out a Happy Birthday sign and balloons. I asked who's Birthday and she said her son who was turning 5. I told him happy birthday and had who was 4 say Happy Birthday to him then he talked about his cake and that was it. I foolishly assumed it was a family party until a few hours later when all the kids and parents from our block were walking to her house with presents. didn't see since he was playing in the backyard but it broke my heart. I still don't know why she would invite every other kid on the block but . I was really angry at first but then I decided to teach them. I ordered one of those big bounce houses to put up in our front yard and a sprinkler and water balloons in the backyard and we had cookies and cake. I did invite ALL the kids in the neighborhood

to come and play and we all had a wonderful day. I felt that I had to show everyone that could be at a party and have fun and even if he had a melt down it would be okay. He has been invited to all the parties since and we go unless it is a movie (he won't stay still) or a sleep over (way too much for him). Maybe you could do something similar to show these Moms that your guy would love to go to parties? Sometimes they just don't get it (okay most of the time the Mothers of NT kids don't get it LOL) but hopefully they are willing to try and learn. Kellie

From: <bashful373@...>autism Sent: Friday, October 2, 2009 12:18:45 AMSubject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,I'm struggling right now.I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"I am tearfully heartbroken.She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe

apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel

like it's getting better.I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

,

I had a similar situation a few years ago. One Saturday we were out raking the leaves and our neighbor put out a Happy Birthday sign and balloons. I asked who's Birthday and she said her son who was turning 5. I told him happy birthday and had who was 4 say Happy Birthday to him then he talked about his cake and that was it. I foolishly assumed it was a family party until a few hours later when all the kids and parents from our block were walking to her house with presents. didn't see since he was playing in the backyard but it broke my heart. I still don't know why she would invite every other kid on the block but . I was really angry at first but then I decided to teach them. I ordered one of those big bounce houses to put up in our front yard and a sprinkler and water balloons in the backyard and we had cookies and cake. I did invite ALL the kids in the neighborhood

to come and play and we all had a wonderful day. I felt that I had to show everyone that could be at a party and have fun and even if he had a melt down it would be okay. He has been invited to all the parties since and we go unless it is a movie (he won't stay still) or a sleep over (way too much for him). Maybe you could do something similar to show these Moms that your guy would love to go to parties? Sometimes they just don't get it (okay most of the time the Mothers of NT kids don't get it LOL) but hopefully they are willing to try and learn. Kellie

From: <bashful373@...>autism Sent: Friday, October 2, 2009 12:18:45 AMSubject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,I'm struggling right now.I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"I am tearfully heartbroken.She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe

apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel

like it's getting better.I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

No-one will criticise you for saying you wish your son was

healed from his autism. It is so gutting when your son gets left

out of things – it happens to us with our own family. My parents do

things with their other grandchildren but make their own mind up as to wether

it is something appropriate for my son or something he would enjoy. It

stings every time it happens. Every time something like this happens it

is like the rief opening up again.

Wallow in it for a while then pick yourself up and say “I

am bigger and better than that” – its what we have to do as parents

of special needs children.

PS – take care

From: autism

[mailto:autism ] On Behalf Of

Sent: 02 October 2009 06:19

autism

Subject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling right now.

I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her

son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a

birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual

friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue

under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known

for over 5 years) were along the lines of " What a great party you

had " , " Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting

together! "

I am tearfully heartbroken.

She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad

blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she

has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than

autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was " okay " .

Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language

really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special

needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and

vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2

younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying

incessantly).

I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that

I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it

didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that

maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son

there, it just STUNG to read " nothing like good friends getting

together! " (that was her line).

My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed.

We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't

gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I

did....)

[Guest guest]

Kellie, that was a great idea; You are so wise and such a good mother. Love and blessings, Pt K

Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling right now.

I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"

I am tearfully heartbroken.

She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .

I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).

My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

>

> No-one will criticise you for saying you wish your son was healed from his

> autism. It is so gutting when your son gets left out of things - it

> happens to us with our own family. My parents do things with their other

> grandchildren but make their own mind up as to wether it is something

> appropriate for my son or something he would enjoy. It stings every time it

> happens. Every time something like this happens it is like the rief opening

> up again.

>

>

>

> Wallow in it for a while then pick yourself up and say " I am bigger and

> better than that " - its what we have to do as parents of special needs

> children.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> PS - take care

>

>

>

> From: autism

> [mailto:autism ] On Behalf Of

> Sent: 02 October 2009 06:19

> autism

> Subject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

>

>

>

>

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I'm struggling right now.

>

> I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of

> her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son

> had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were

> mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of

> the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours

> (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of " What a great

> party you had " , " Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together! "

>

> I am tearfully heartbroken.

>

> She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad

> blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and

> she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons

> than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was " okay " .

> Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language

> really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a

> special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at

> people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum

> and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped

> praying incessantly).

>

> I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know

> that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I

> guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could

> understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son

> didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read " nothing like good friends

> getting together! " (that was her line).

>

> My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting

> unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years

> now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting

> better.

>

> I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I

> did....)

>

>

>

- i completely understand your feelings. my son had a friend a couple of

years ago that he got along with really well. he was one of the few that talked

to him, and didn't make fun of him. his mom is a teacher and i thought was

really understanding about my son's autism. well, i found out 2 weeks after the

fact that this child had had a birthday party and hadn't invited my son. my son

found out- he just didn't understand. it hurts to see our kids hurt or shunned.

period. go ahead and grieve about it, but then realize it's just ignorance on

their part.

[Guest guest]

>

> No-one will criticise you for saying you wish your son was healed from his

> autism. It is so gutting when your son gets left out of things - it

> happens to us with our own family. My parents do things with their other

> grandchildren but make their own mind up as to wether it is something

> appropriate for my son or something he would enjoy. It stings every time it

> happens. Every time something like this happens it is like the rief opening

> up again.

>

>

>

> Wallow in it for a while then pick yourself up and say " I am bigger and

> better than that " - its what we have to do as parents of special needs

> children.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> PS - take care

>

>

>

> From: autism

> [mailto:autism ] On Behalf Of

> Sent: 02 October 2009 06:19

> autism

> Subject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

>

>

>

>

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I'm struggling right now.

>

> I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of

> her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son

> had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were

> mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of

> the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours

> (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of " What a great

> party you had " , " Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together! "

>

> I am tearfully heartbroken.

>

> She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad

> blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and

> she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons

> than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was " okay " .

> Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language

> really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a

> special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at

> people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum

> and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped

> praying incessantly).

>

> I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know

> that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I

> guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could

> understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son

> didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read " nothing like good friends

> getting together! " (that was her line).

>

> My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting

> unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years

> now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting

> better.

>

> I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I

> did....)

>

>

>

- i completely understand your feelings. my son had a friend a couple of

years ago that he got along with really well. he was one of the few that talked

to him, and didn't make fun of him. his mom is a teacher and i thought was

really understanding about my son's autism. well, i found out 2 weeks after the

fact that this child had had a birthday party and hadn't invited my son. my son

found out- he just didn't understand. it hurts to see our kids hurt or shunned.

period. go ahead and grieve about it, but then realize it's just ignorance on

their part.

[Guest guest]

Hi , I agree with . Nobody

should criticize you for wishing your son didn’t have autism. Nobody can

relate to you unless they have gone through what you have.

I think many of us experience the

same things you are going through. In my case it’s my family.

They often exclude us from parties, barbeques and even holiday get-togethers.

I look at it like this: my son has

been a blessing to our family because he is no unique, has taught us so much

about ourselves, accepting others, having patience and he is no pure and

innocent. I think it is others loss if they feel that they do not want to

enjoy his company and learn what a sweet soul he is and what he can help teach

them and their children about life. I know it’s tough, but

sometimes, I know my family and friends care but they just don’t fully

understand him so in a sense they are scared or do not know how to react to him

or act around him.

If she is truly your friend, I would

express to her how it made you feel and move on. We’ve been through

worse and we are fighters we can’t let other people’s ignorance

hold us down.

Take care.

a Calderon

From:

autism

[mailto:autism ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Friday, October 02, 2009 12:00 PM

To:

autism

Subject: RE: Having a

hard time on a very familiar topic

No-one will criticise you for saying you wish your son was

healed from his autism. It is so gutting when your son gets left

out of things – it happens to us with our own family. My parents do

things with their other grandchildren but make their own mind up as to wether

it is something appropriate for my son or something he would enjoy. It

stings every time it happens. Every time something like this happens it

is like the rief opening up again.

Wallow in it for a while then pick yourself up and say “I

am bigger and better than that” – its what we have to do as parents

of special needs children.

PS – take care

From: autism

[mailto:autism ] On Behalf Of

Sent: 02 October 2009 06:19

autism

Subject: Having a

hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi

everyone,

I'm struggling right now.

I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her

son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a

birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual

friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue

under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known

for over 5 years) were along the lines of " What a great party you

had " , " Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together! "

I am tearfully heartbroken.

She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad

blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she

has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than

autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was " okay " .

Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language

really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special

needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and

vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2

younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying

incessantly).

I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that

I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it

didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that

maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son

there, it just STUNG to read " nothing like good friends getting

together! " (that was her line).

My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed.

We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't

gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I

did....)

______________________________________________________________________

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Skeptic technology powered by MessageLabs. For more information on MCI's

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______________________________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi, similar story for us too! For the past 3 years, our son has been playing

with the little boy next door...they've grown up together. Our son (ASD) has

extreme anxiety over dogs and this " friend " got a dog last year. One day, this

" friend " let the dog out into the back yard where they were playing and this put

a permanent wall up between our houses that my son will never cross. The

" friend " will come to our house, but our son never goes to his. Our son was

invited to his " friends " halloween party last year but would not go because he

knows their is a dog in the house. I graciously declined the invite to our

neighbour of 12 years and explained why and ever since then, our son has not

been invited to any party, play-date etc. She too will invite everyone else but

my son. 2 months later, I had a birthday party for our son and invited all his

classmates and did not invite this " friend " ...I'm just not interested in putting

forth the effort for this relationship anymore as it does nothing to help our

son.

I've taken this approach --- Our son has taught us so much about acceptance,

perspective, and appreciation for differences...it's unfortunate that our

neighbour will never learn these lessons or teach them to her children. They

lose.

>

> ,

>  I had a similar situation a few years ago.  One Saturday we were out raking

the leaves and our neighbor put out a Happy Birthday sign and balloons.  I asked

who's Birthday and she said her son who was turning 5.  I told him happy

birthday and had who was 4 say Happy Birthday to him then he talked about

his cake and that was it.  I foolishly assumed it was a family party until a few

hours later when all the kids and parents from our block were walking to her

house with presents.  didn't see since he was playing in the backyard but

it broke my heart.  I still don't know why she would invite every other kid on

the block but .  I was really angry at first but then I decided to teach

them.  I ordered one of those big bounce houses to put up in our front yard  and

a sprinkler and water balloons in the backyard and we had cookies and cake.  I

did invite ALL the kids in the neighborhood to come and play and we all had a

wonderful day. 

> I felt that I had to show everyone that could be at a party and have fun

and even if he had a melt down it would be okay.  He has been invited to all the

parties since and we go unless it is a movie (he won't stay still) or a sleep

over (way too much for him).  Maybe you could do something similar to show these

Moms that your guy would love to go to parties?  Sometimes they just don't get

it (okay most of the time the Mothers of NT kids don't get it LOL) but hopefully

they are willing to try and learn.  Kellie

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: <bashful373@...>

> autism

> Sent: Friday, October 2, 2009 12:18:45 AM

> Subject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

>

>  

> Hi everyone,

>

> I'm struggling right now.

>

> I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her

son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a

birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends

at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under

one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for

over 5 years) were along the lines of " What a great party you had " , " Yeah,

thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together! "

>

> I am tearfully heartbroken.

>

> She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad

blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she

has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than

autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was " okay " . Isaiah has

classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good,

expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs

preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal

stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger

kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .

>

> I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know

that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess

it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that

maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son

there, it just STUNG to read " nothing like good friends getting together! " (that

was her line).

>

> My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed.

We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't

gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

>

> I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I

did....)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Pat K.,

At first when I made the plans I didn't intend to invite the boy who didn't invite to his party but I just couldn't do that. It wasn't the kids fault and it would not send the right message to the other parents. I wanted them to include my son and not including another child wouldn't send that message. I don't think it was done to hurt my feelings I do think she was nervous and afraid of inviting him not really knowing what he would do. I try to remember how clueless I was before I had a child with autism. Is Karac having a good day? Love ya, Kellie

From: "pkuenstler@..." <pkuenstler@...>autism Sent: Friday, October 2, 2009 1:05:13 PMSubject: Re: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Kellie, that was a great idea; You are so wise and such a good mother. Love and blessings, Pt K Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,I'm struggling right now.I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"I am tearfully heartbroken.She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe

apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel

like it's getting better.I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

your not alone. We're all here with you going through similar hurts. My suggestion to you is to go see your family dr or your gyn. Tell them how your feeling. It sounds like you are dealing with depression. You may need some meds to help you. I have been on meds for two years now. I had a hard time accepting Caleb had autism. Now I can go through my day with a smile on my face. Most days anyway.Sent from my iPhoneGwen HebertOn Oct 2, 2009, at 12:18 AM, "" <bashful373@...> wrote:

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling right now.

I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"

I am tearfully heartbroken.

She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly).

I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).

My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

your not alone. We're all here with you going through similar hurts. My suggestion to you is to go see your family dr or your gyn. Tell them how your feeling. It sounds like you are dealing with depression. You may need some meds to help you. I have been on meds for two years now. I had a hard time accepting Caleb had autism. Now I can go through my day with a smile on my face. Most days anyway.Sent from my iPhoneGwen HebertOn Oct 2, 2009, at 12:18 AM, "" <bashful373@...> wrote:

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling right now.

I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"

I am tearfully heartbroken.

She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly).

I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).

My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

,

Hi, I can totally relate. My mom and dad used to treat my son, Gabe, different. Hang in there. prayers and hugs sent your way.

BTW I'm on facebook too if you want to add me it's under in Bueno

Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling right now.

I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"

I am tearfully heartbroken.

She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly).

I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).

My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

,

Hi, I can totally relate. My mom and dad used to treat my son, Gabe, different. Hang in there. prayers and hugs sent your way.

BTW I'm on facebook too if you want to add me it's under in Bueno

Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling right now.

I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"

I am tearfully heartbroken.

She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly).

I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).

My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

So sorry ...that hurts and hurts deeply. I don't know why people do stuff like that...I'm so sorry. My heart is hurting for you today....I get it -- in a different way -- but I get it. I will pray for your hurt.

e

From: <bashful373@...>autism Sent: Fri, October 2, 2009 12:18:45 AMSubject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,I'm struggling right now.I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"I am tearfully heartbroken.She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe

apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel

like it's getting better.I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

So sorry ...that hurts and hurts deeply. I don't know why people do stuff like that...I'm so sorry. My heart is hurting for you today....I get it -- in a different way -- but I get it. I will pray for your hurt.

e

From: <bashful373@...>autism Sent: Fri, October 2, 2009 12:18:45 AMSubject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,I'm struggling right now.I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"I am tearfully heartbroken.She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe

apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel

like it's getting better.I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

you are a great mommy

From: Kellie <folkangel@...>autism Sent: Fri, October 2, 2009 10:20:53 AMSubject: Re: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

,

I had a similar situation a few years ago. One Saturday we were out raking the leaves and our neighbor put out a Happy Birthday sign and balloons. I asked who's Birthday and she said her son who was turning 5. I told him happy birthday and had who was 4 say Happy Birthday to him then he talked about his cake and that was it. I foolishly assumed it was a family party until a few hours later when all the kids and parents from our block were walking to her house with presents. didn't see since he was playing in the backyard but it broke my heart. I still don't know why she would invite every other kid on the block but . I was really angry at first but then I decided to teach them. I ordered one of those big bounce houses to put up in our front yard and a sprinkler and water balloons in the backyard and we had cookies and cake. I did invite ALL the kids in the neighborhood

to come and play and we all had a wonderful day. I felt that I had to show everyone that could be at a party and have fun and even if he had a melt down it would be okay. He has been invited to all the parties since and we go unless it is a movie (he won't stay still) or a sleep over (way too much for him). Maybe you could do something similar to show these Moms that your guy would love to go to parties? Sometimes they just don't get it (okay most of the time the Mothers of NT kids don't get it LOL) but hopefully they are willing to try and learn. Kellie

From: <bashful373 (DOT) com>AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comSent: Friday, October 2, 2009 12:18:45 AMSubject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

Hi everyone,I'm struggling right now.I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"I am tearfully heartbroken.She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe

apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel

like it's getting better.I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

In Kinder my son, Joe developed a very close friendship with a boy in his class.

The boys mom seamed wonderful. She came to his B-day party, helped set up and

talked for a long time about how much she loved my son. But when it came time

for play dates, she always had other plans. In first grade my son wanted to have

a sleep over for his birthday with this friend. I talked to his mom and she was

thrilled. I called her the week of to finalize plans and she told me she had

made other plans.

I had to try and explain to my son that his friend could not come over. He was

devastated. What really gets me is every time I see the mom out and about she is

so very friendly but never wants the kids to play together.

Oh well,

Opal

> >

> > ,

> >  I had a similar situation a few years ago.  One Saturday we were out raking

the leaves and our neighbor put out a Happy Birthday sign and balloons.  I asked

who's Birthday and she said her son who was turning 5.  I told him happy

birthday and had who was 4 say Happy Birthday to him then he talked about

his cake and that was it.  I foolishly assumed it was a family party until a few

hours later when all the kids and parents from our block were walking to her

house with presents.  didn't see since he was playing in the backyard but

it broke my heart.  I still don't know why she would invite every other kid on

the block but .  I was really angry at first but then I decided to teach

them.  I ordered one of those big bounce houses to put up in our front yard  and

a sprinkler and water balloons in the backyard and we had cookies and cake.  I

did invite ALL the kids in the neighborhood to come and play and we all had a

wonderful day. 

> > I felt that I had to show everyone that could be at a party and have

fun and even if he had a melt down it would be okay.  He has been invited to all

the parties since and we go unless it is a movie (he won't stay still) or a

sleep over (way too much for him).  Maybe you could do something similar to show

these Moms that your guy would love to go to parties?  Sometimes they just don't

get it (okay most of the time the Mothers of NT kids don't get it LOL) but

hopefully they are willing to try and learn.  Kellie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: <bashful373@>

> > autism

> > Sent: Friday, October 2, 2009 12:18:45 AM

> > Subject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

> >

> >  

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I'm struggling right now.

> >

> > I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of

her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had

a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual

friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue

under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known

for over 5 years) were along the lines of " What a great party you had " , " Yeah,

thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together! "

> >

> > I am tearfully heartbroken.

> >

> > She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad

blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she

has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than

autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was " okay " . Isaiah has

classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good,

expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs

preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal

stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger

kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .

> >

> > I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know

that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess

it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that

maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son

there, it just STUNG to read " nothing like good friends getting together! " (that

was her line).

> >

> > My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting

unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now.

It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

> >

> > I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I

did....)

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

In Kinder my son, Joe developed a very close friendship with a boy in his class.

The boys mom seamed wonderful. She came to his B-day party, helped set up and

talked for a long time about how much she loved my son. But when it came time

for play dates, she always had other plans. In first grade my son wanted to have

a sleep over for his birthday with this friend. I talked to his mom and she was

thrilled. I called her the week of to finalize plans and she told me she had

made other plans.

I had to try and explain to my son that his friend could not come over. He was

devastated. What really gets me is every time I see the mom out and about she is

so very friendly but never wants the kids to play together.

Oh well,

Opal

> >

> > ,

> >  I had a similar situation a few years ago.  One Saturday we were out raking

the leaves and our neighbor put out a Happy Birthday sign and balloons.  I asked

who's Birthday and she said her son who was turning 5.  I told him happy

birthday and had who was 4 say Happy Birthday to him then he talked about

his cake and that was it.  I foolishly assumed it was a family party until a few

hours later when all the kids and parents from our block were walking to her

house with presents.  didn't see since he was playing in the backyard but

it broke my heart.  I still don't know why she would invite every other kid on

the block but .  I was really angry at first but then I decided to teach

them.  I ordered one of those big bounce houses to put up in our front yard  and

a sprinkler and water balloons in the backyard and we had cookies and cake.  I

did invite ALL the kids in the neighborhood to come and play and we all had a

wonderful day. 

> > I felt that I had to show everyone that could be at a party and have

fun and even if he had a melt down it would be okay.  He has been invited to all

the parties since and we go unless it is a movie (he won't stay still) or a

sleep over (way too much for him).  Maybe you could do something similar to show

these Moms that your guy would love to go to parties?  Sometimes they just don't

get it (okay most of the time the Mothers of NT kids don't get it LOL) but

hopefully they are willing to try and learn.  Kellie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: <bashful373@>

> > autism

> > Sent: Friday, October 2, 2009 12:18:45 AM

> > Subject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

> >

> >  

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I'm struggling right now.

> >

> > I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of

her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had

a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual

friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue

under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known

for over 5 years) were along the lines of " What a great party you had " , " Yeah,

thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together! "

> >

> > I am tearfully heartbroken.

> >

> > She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad

blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she

has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than

autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was " okay " . Isaiah has

classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good,

expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs

preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal

stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger

kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .

> >

> > I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know

that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess

it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that

maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son

there, it just STUNG to read " nothing like good friends getting together! " (that

was her line).

> >

> > My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting

unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now.

It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

> >

> > I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I

did....)

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Opal, I am Pat K. I am the grandmother of a 17 year old autistic grandson. I diagnosed

him and have worked daily with him since. There are a lot of smart, wise, loving women on this

group who I think you will find helpful.

I know your son was terribly disappointed; a similar thing happened to Karac. I felt so sad for him. Pat K

Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

> >

> >

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I'm struggling right now.

> >

> > I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"

> >

> > I am tearfully heartbroken.

> >

> > She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .

> >

> > I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).

> >

> > My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.

> >

> > I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

> >

> >

> >

>