Re: Son without OCD now suffering with school anxiety

[Guest guest]

Hi nne,

What is going on with your son is very upsetting. Let me tell you my

experience with schools. My son Amer started his OCD since he was 13-14

years old, " he is now 21 y/o " . We shifted his to another school, because his

obsessions was in the class & his classmates. He was imagining that they are

harming him in several ways. I took him to a psychiatrist right away, I was

not aware that what was going on with him was OCD. Any way we kept him till

the end of the year in the same school and then we shifted him to another

school the next year. I talked with the principal of the school about his

condition & he was very cooperative with us. He talked in his turn with all

the teachers that are suppose to deel with him & told them that they have to

consider Amer as a special case & give him a special attention, that's what

took place. As every child with this disorder started to take medications,

starting with one for a certain time, finding that it is not the propper one

for him, shifting to another with all the side effect of these medication.

He was admitted to the hospital twice & they were the most difficult days in

my life as well as his, and the whole family. Anyway I don't like to

remember the bad days & let me go back to the school. They were very

helpfull for him, sometimes he feels he wants to sleep at class because of

the medecine, sometimes he feels that he can't stay in class & tolerate the

explenation of the teacher & quit the class for a while & them comes back.

They use to deel with him very smoothly & not causing any stress above his

stress he was passing through, untill he graduated from high school & now he

is in college majoring Land Scape Design & doing fine, But still sure for

medications, knowing that he went through CBT & ERP therapy for qaite a good

time. But uptill now if he sees one of classmates that use to be with him

when he started his disorder, I feel that he goes with memory to that bad

days & that affect him in a way he experience anxiety & I thing some

obsessions that leads for compulsions. So I feel myself very sad desperate

thinking that inspiste of all the medications he is taking & all the therapy

he went through still does not have the immunity towards this disorder

although he is now more mature & having more self confidence & doing fine in

his life.

So I advise you to go yourself to the school and discuss your son's issure

with his teacher, if they did not respond to you can't you find another

school in the erea you are living?

Good luck

Huda

>From: " marianne_nancy " <marianne_nancy@...>

>Reply-

>

>Subject: Son without OCD now suffering with school

>anxiety

>Date: Wed, 14 Sep 2005 04:31:31 -0000

>

>I am desperate for some advice or suggestions for my 6 year old son

>who has a sister with OCD.

>

>My nine year old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this past spring.

>She has tried prozac and zoloft, but was unable to tolerate them.

>She developed a severe hypomanic reaction. Currently we are

>titrating small amounts of zoloft - right now 3 mg. She is doing

>much better right now. She has weekly CBT/ERP. We have to travel

>to the US for therapy. My husband and I did alot of research,

>bought books and developed an IEP for her since school officials

>really didn't seem to care or know how to help her.

>

>My son just started grade 1, and since his first day of school his

>behaviour has changed dramatically. He is extremely nervous, is

>picking his face, won't sleep by himself, and is very worried about

>school and his teacher. He won't talk to any classmates at recess

>for fear of getting in trouble. He has a teacher this year who has a

>very strict discipline policy - absolutely no talking in class. She

>has a card system if the children should do anything wrong, like

>talking or making a mess etc. The child is forced to go in front of

>the class and explain what he did wrong. After four cards, the

>child is sent to the principal's office. This has completely

>terrified my son. My carefree happy little boy is now completely

>changed. I have called the teacher, the LET teacher (several times)

>and the principal who dismissed my concerns.

>

>I am just at my wit's end. My daughter had a lot of these same

>symptoms years before she was diagnosed with OCD, and I vowed that I

>would help my son if ever he showed any signs of anxiety. My son

>has seen his pediatrician, and a social worker - who immediately

>called the school because she was so concerned. She felt he should

>be moved to a different class. - and still nothing. My son couldn't

>sleep again tonight fearing that he might get a card. He is just so

>scared.

>

>I am torn about going to a superintendent for fear that it might

>have a negative impact on how school officials treat my daughter in

>the future. I just don't know what to do. I am watching both my

>children suffer now, and it is tearing me apart. Has anyone been in

>this situation? Can anyone offer any suggestions? Thank you.

>

>nne in Ontario

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi nne, how upsetting! Do you happen to know about the other

teachers and their classrooms, if they're not so strict??

I would pursue changing rooms. OR I would tell my son not to worry

about getting cards, it's fine with me, I think the teacher is too

strict; that you expect him to behave, but you won't make a big deal

of it at home, and if he ends up in the principal's office - which

you're sure he won't - that you'll be there too, considering you've

already let the principal know how you feel about it all.

Maybe stressing to them again how upset/anxious he is at home and

how you want him to like school, this is not a good way to start out

his years there and that other rooms aren't so strict, you feel he'd

be way better off place elsewhere.

My oldest son was a talker/socializer. He'd have never lasted! No

teacher was quite that strict, but his best years were ones with

teachers who allowed whispering or weren't so punishing with rules.

Perhaps you should just plant yourself in the principal's

office/reception room until you're listened to.

Let us know how things go!

> I am desperate for some advice or suggestions for my 6 year old

son

> who has a sister with OCD.

>

> My nine year old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this past

spring.

[Guest guest]

Hi nne, have you insisted to the teacher that your child be exempt from

the card system, or to the principal that he be moved to a different class

with less rigid teacher? In my dd's early years I did too much asking and

explaining rather than simple stating. If the social worker got nowhere--my

experience has been that calls from professionals work well with school

personnel--then it may be time to consider formal accommodations for him.

What is a LET teacher? Is this like the school's counselor? If not, you

might try calling the special ed or counselor at the school and explaining

your concerns about your son's anxious reaction to school this year. You

may be able to cultivate this staffer as a advocate for your son.

The right teacher can make all the difference between a great and an awful

year for anxious kids. When my dd was in elementary school, for some reason

they thought the " right teacher " for her would be older, strict,

no-nonsense...anxiety provoking :-(

Since she's been in middle school (sixth grade this year), she's been given

younger, more flexible, friendly teachers who already know about anxiety and

OCD, believe they exist, and that small things can make the difference in

success for these kids.

I think the difference is middle school personnel are more used to dealing

with children with various dxes, while my child was a rare duck in

elementary school whom teachers tried to " force " to not be anxious and get

over the nonsense.

Anyway...I think you are quite right to be concerned with the change in your

son's demeanor since school started. Job#1 is to keep kids liking and

feeling positive and successful about school. If they become so frightened

that they become avoidant, it hardly matters whether they learn the lesson

that talking at the wrong times/places has consequences.

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: " marianne_nancy " <marianne_nancy@...>

>I am desperate for some advice or suggestions for my 6 year old son

> who has a sister with OCD.

>

> My nine year old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this past spring.

> She has tried prozac and zoloft, but was unable to tolerate them.

> She developed a severe hypomanic reaction. Currently we are

> titrating small amounts of zoloft - right now 3 mg. She is doing

> much better right now. She has weekly CBT/ERP. We have to travel

> to the US for therapy. My husband and I did alot of research,

> bought books and developed an IEP for her since school officials

> really didn't seem to care or know how to help her.

>

> My son just started grade 1, and since his first day of school his

> behaviour has changed dramatically. He is extremely nervous, is

> picking his face, won't sleep by himself, and is very worried about

> school and his teacher. He won't talk to any classmates at recess

> for fear of getting in trouble. He has a teacher this year who has a

> very strict discipline policy - absolutely no talking in class. She

> has a card system if the children should do anything wrong, like

> talking or making a mess etc. The child is forced to go in front of

> the class and explain what he did wrong. After four cards, the

> child is sent to the principal's office. This has completely

> terrified my son. My carefree happy little boy is now completely

> changed. I have called the teacher, the LET teacher (several times)

> and the principal who dismissed my concerns.

>

> I am just at my wit's end. My daughter had a lot of these same

> symptoms years before she was diagnosed with OCD, and I vowed that I

> would help my son if ever he showed any signs of anxiety. My son

> has seen his pediatrician, and a social worker - who immediately

> called the school because she was so concerned. She felt he should

> be moved to a different class. - and still nothing. My son couldn't

> sleep again tonight fearing that he might get a card. He is just so

> scared.

>

> I am torn about going to a superintendent for fear that it might

> have a negative impact on how school officials treat my daughter in

> the future. I just don't know what to do. I am watching both my

> children suffer now, and it is tearing me apart. Has anyone been in

> this situation? Can anyone offer any suggestions? Thank you.

>

> nne in Ontario

[Guest guest]

Your 6 year old should not be terrified of school. That is just plain wrong and

any teacher or principal that dismisses your concerns should be reported to the

superintendent. But I am saying that as a teacher, not as a mom who has had to

fight that direction.

I say, the most important thing is for him to enjoy school. It sounds to me

like he may have ocd too. I can't believe they will not work with you. That

just has me so angry! Have you met the teacher face to face yet?

My son just started grade 1, and since his first day of school his

behaviour has changed dramatically. He is extremely nervous, is

picking his face, won't sleep by himself, and is very worried about

school and his teacher. He won't talk to any classmates at recess

for fear of getting in trouble. He has a teacher this year who has a

very strict discipline policy - absolutely no talking in class.

In first grade?!?!?!!?! I thought that they were supposed to develop social

skills??!?!?!?!

She

has a card system if the children should do anything wrong, like

talking or making a mess etc. The child is forced to go in front of

the class and explain what he did wrong.

The card thing is done here in Texas too at the elementary level.

I am so sorry and apologize on behalf of teachers that want the best for all of

their students.

Let us know what develops.

in Texas

[Guest guest]

The card thing is done here in Texas too at the elementary

level.

Hi ,

So the card thing/get up in front of the room, is a usual thing

there? I wonder what they've implemented here since my kids have been

out of elementary school. I've already heard kindergarten has

changed, more like 1st grade now (compared to when my teens were

there).

Getting up in front of a class terrified me thru my first years of

college! Knees literally knocking together, shaking. I'd never have

lasted thru elementary school!

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry, only part.

They do cards and color changes, but as far as getting up in front of the class.

NO! I think that is torture. In fact we've had issues with the cards already.

Cass has never changed a card in her life (5th grade now), she's a people

pleasing anxious ridden little girl. Trevor has changed his card once or twice

in kinder before any ocd symptoms. Green is good, blue is step two, yellow is

bad and red is the principal. Well after two weeks Trevor got a couple of

blues, which I saw as " not green. " I punished him, lectured him, etc. After

the 3rd blue, I called the teacher. She was mortified that I was punishing him.

(No TV, no swimming, no video games, no playing with the neighbors.) She said

that Blue was just a " speed bump. " Just that he needed to be reminded a few

times about the rules. So, I was the crazy mom making my super anxious kid

even more anxious. In my defense, I am a teacher in the same district and I

don't want MY KIDS to be misbehaving. Like being the son or daughter of a

preacher. Well, I felt terrible but since then, Trevor has become obsessive

about " the rules. " and gets green every day.

UNTIL YESTERDAY!!! He had a meltdown because the teacher (referring to the

class) said that they didn't follow the rules. Trevor freaked out, started

screaming at her, etc. She gave him a yellow, and he almost had to go to the

principal. (Well, Trevor would not calm down until she sent me an e-mail with

him watching) to tell me that he was a " good " boy. Anyway, she was worried

about him. I told her that I'd be coming to see her as soon as we saw the

psychaitrist to let her know about ocd. She's a great lady. She'll work with

Trevor.

So, I am familiar with the cards and behavior and we make our kids tell us why

they are in trouble when they get into trouble, but I can not imagine having

them do it in front of people.

The card thing is done here in Texas too at the elementary

level.

Hi ,

So the card thing/get up in front of the room, is a usual thing

there?

Getting up in front of a class terrified me thru my first years of

college! Knees literally knocking together, shaking. I'd never have

lasted thru elementary school!

*******Me either and I'm a DRAMA teacher!!!! ()

Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

/ .

Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., (

http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan,

Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail

Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be

addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... ,

louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... .

[Guest guest]

nne - I'm truly sorry for what you are going through. Unfortunately I

didn't see your original post as to what exactly was going on with your son as

far as behavior. I can tell you, my son spent the majority of last school

year (middle school) in in-school suspension and detention for " behavior. " It

was a nightmare of a year. Fortunately, I did had a " sympathetic "

vice-principal, but basically her hands were tied as far as the discipline

issues. I don't

know if your son is classified or not, but perhaps you can enlist the aide of

a particularly compassionate SPECIAL ED teacher to help advocate on your

son's behalf? You sound like you're doing everything right on your part

(advocating, not giving up). I just wanted you to know that this particular

type of

problem is not isolated to just you - a lot of us have been there/done that and

continue to do so on a daily basis and my heart goes out to you just the

same.

Know that you're not alone.

In a message dated 9/15/2005 10:29:45 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

marianne_nancy@... writes:

My son is suffering and scared. I am just so sick of this whole situation.

[Guest guest]

nne - I'm truly sorry for what you are going through. Unfortunately I

didn't see your original post as to what exactly was going on with your son as

far as behavior. I can tell you, my son spent the majority of last school

year (middle school) in in-school suspension and detention for " behavior. " It

was a nightmare of a year. Fortunately, I did had a " sympathetic "

vice-principal, but basically her hands were tied as far as the discipline

issues. I don't

know if your son is classified or not, but perhaps you can enlist the aide of

a particularly compassionate SPECIAL ED teacher to help advocate on your

son's behalf? You sound like you're doing everything right on your part

(advocating, not giving up). I just wanted you to know that this particular

type of

problem is not isolated to just you - a lot of us have been there/done that and

continue to do so on a daily basis and my heart goes out to you just the

same.

Know that you're not alone.

In a message dated 9/15/2005 10:29:45 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

marianne_nancy@... writes:

My son is suffering and scared. I am just so sick of this whole situation.

[Guest guest]

Thank you, thank you to everyone who listened and responded to my post. Bless

you. However angry and upset I was when I posted, I am 1000x more upset today.

Yesterday I talked to the principal twice, my husband talked to the principal as

well, and she just will NOT listen. She is having an administrative meeting

tonight (Thursday) to discuss my son's behaviour with current and past teachers.

Why I don't know. He's never had a problem before. I told her that our family

is under extreme stress and why this has to be so difficult is beyond me. She

was sarcastic and extremely vague in her replies. I couldn't help it but I

stood up for my son, my daughter, and our family. I am an extremely shy and

nervous person, and I have never ever disagreed with the Principal, but I

couldn't help myself and I told her in no uncertain terms that we were deeply

saddened by her lack of compassion and concern. She completely dismissed me and

said it was her decision to make.

My son is suffering and scared. I am just so sick of this whole situation. My

nine year old with OCD continues to fight the battle, and I just pray that this

doesn't effect the school's dealings with her. I am just praying for a miracle.

Thanks again for listening. nne in Ontario

My son is

<@...> wrote:

Hi nne, how upsetting! Do you happen to know about the other

teachers and their classrooms, if they're not so strict??

I would pursue changing rooms. OR I would tell my son not to worry

about getting cards, it's fine with me, I think the teacher is too

strict; that you expect him to behave, but you won't make a big deal

of it at home, and if he ends up in the principal's office - which

you're sure he won't - that you'll be there too, considering you've

already let the principal know how you feel about it all.

Maybe stressing to them again how upset/anxious he is at home and

how you want him to like school, this is not a good way to start out

his years there and that other rooms aren't so strict, you feel he'd

be way better off place elsewhere.

My oldest son was a talker/socializer. He'd have never lasted! No

teacher was quite that strict, but his best years were ones with

teachers who allowed whispering or weren't so punishing with rules.

Perhaps you should just plant yourself in the principal's

office/reception room until you're listened to.

Let us know how things go!

> I am desperate for some advice or suggestions for my 6 year old

son

> who has a sister with OCD.

>

> My nine year old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this past

spring.

Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

/ .

Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., (

http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan,

Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail

Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be

addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... ,

louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Thank you, thank you to everyone who listened and responded to my post. Bless

you. However angry and upset I was when I posted, I am 1000x more upset today.

Yesterday I talked to the principal twice, my husband talked to the principal as

well, and she just will NOT listen. She is having an administrative meeting

tonight (Thursday) to discuss my son's behaviour with current and past teachers.

Why I don't know. He's never had a problem before. I told her that our family

is under extreme stress and why this has to be so difficult is beyond me. She

was sarcastic and extremely vague in her replies. I couldn't help it but I

stood up for my son, my daughter, and our family. I am an extremely shy and

nervous person, and I have never ever disagreed with the Principal, but I

couldn't help myself and I told her in no uncertain terms that we were deeply

saddened by her lack of compassion and concern. She completely dismissed me and

said it was her decision to make.

My son is suffering and scared. I am just so sick of this whole situation. My

nine year old with OCD continues to fight the battle, and I just pray that this

doesn't effect the school's dealings with her. I am just praying for a miracle.

Thanks again for listening. nne in Ontario

My son is

<@...> wrote:

Hi nne, how upsetting! Do you happen to know about the other

teachers and their classrooms, if they're not so strict??

I would pursue changing rooms. OR I would tell my son not to worry

about getting cards, it's fine with me, I think the teacher is too

strict; that you expect him to behave, but you won't make a big deal

of it at home, and if he ends up in the principal's office - which

you're sure he won't - that you'll be there too, considering you've

already let the principal know how you feel about it all.

Maybe stressing to them again how upset/anxious he is at home and

how you want him to like school, this is not a good way to start out

his years there and that other rooms aren't so strict, you feel he'd

be way better off place elsewhere.

My oldest son was a talker/socializer. He'd have never lasted! No

teacher was quite that strict, but his best years were ones with

teachers who allowed whispering or weren't so punishing with rules.

Perhaps you should just plant yourself in the principal's

office/reception room until you're listened to.

Let us know how things go!

> I am desperate for some advice or suggestions for my 6 year old

son

> who has a sister with OCD.

>

> My nine year old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this past

spring.

Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

/ .

Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., (

http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan,

Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail

Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be

addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... ,

louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Well!! I'd go ahead and call whoever is over the principals or over

the elementary schools in your area.

She's obviously not compassionate and is justing thinking parents

are too protective (I've had that label!).

I'd not wait for the results of tonite's meeting, but go ahead and

call the main school system office and get your 25-cents in

(definitely more than 2 cents, LOL!). Start by telling them you

have a situation with your son, high anxiety..., you've spoken with

teacher and principal and...asked for possible room change...and

results are unsatisfactory, you felt principal doesn't care and

brushed your concerns off, etc.

AND don't know how it works there, but I've called our state office

to get a question answered before. Very friendly person there.

Calling is much faster than emails or letters.

((hugs)) and tell your son don't worry (yeah, yeah) about the

cards. I know I'm also shy about voicing things in person sometimes

(phone is much easier), but I know I have let my kids know when I

don't like or agree with " something " re a teacher or classroom or

rules, and I might just get mad enough to tell mine that I want 2

cards a day!

So far as this affecting your daughter - get this battle won,

letting principal's superiors know about it, and I don't think

you'll have another battle on your hands, they'll know you will go

above them (good advocacy!).

Just my quick thoughts from my own past battles!

> Thank you, thank you to everyone who listened and responded to my

post. Bless you. However angry and upset I was when I posted, I am

1000x more upset today.

>

[Guest guest]

Well!! I'd go ahead and call whoever is over the principals or over

the elementary schools in your area.

She's obviously not compassionate and is justing thinking parents

are too protective (I've had that label!).

I'd not wait for the results of tonite's meeting, but go ahead and

call the main school system office and get your 25-cents in

(definitely more than 2 cents, LOL!). Start by telling them you

have a situation with your son, high anxiety..., you've spoken with

teacher and principal and...asked for possible room change...and

results are unsatisfactory, you felt principal doesn't care and

brushed your concerns off, etc.

AND don't know how it works there, but I've called our state office

to get a question answered before. Very friendly person there.

Calling is much faster than emails or letters.

((hugs)) and tell your son don't worry (yeah, yeah) about the

cards. I know I'm also shy about voicing things in person sometimes

(phone is much easier), but I know I have let my kids know when I

don't like or agree with " something " re a teacher or classroom or

rules, and I might just get mad enough to tell mine that I want 2

cards a day!

So far as this affecting your daughter - get this battle won,

letting principal's superiors know about it, and I don't think

you'll have another battle on your hands, they'll know you will go

above them (good advocacy!).

Just my quick thoughts from my own past battles!

> Thank you, thank you to everyone who listened and responded to my

post. Bless you. However angry and upset I was when I posted, I am

1000x more upset today.

>

[Guest guest]

Your son sounds anxious and my first thought is that this teacher is

not appropriate for him. I wouldn't necessarily say that he has OCD

at this point, but I don't know how he will get better in a class like

that. I would go to the school and tell them about how the teacher's

rules are causing him that much anxiety and you would like him

tranfered to another class. My daughter (non-OCD) is a little bit of

an anxious person - she would have trouble with a teacher like that as

well.

Good luck,'

Bonnie

> I am desperate for some advice or suggestions for my 6 year old son

> who has a sister with OCD.

>

> My nine year old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this past spring.

> She has tried prozac and zoloft, but was unable to tolerate them.

> She developed a severe hypomanic reaction. Currently we are

> titrating small amounts of zoloft - right now 3 mg. She is doing

> much better right now. She has weekly CBT/ERP. We have to travel

> to the US for therapy. My husband and I did alot of research,

> bought books and developed an IEP for her since school officials

> really didn't seem to care or know how to help her.

>

> My son just started grade 1, and since his first day of school his

> behaviour has changed dramatically. He is extremely nervous, is

> picking his face, won't sleep by himself, and is very worried about

> school and his teacher. He won't talk to any classmates at recess

> for fear of getting in trouble. He has a teacher this year who has a

> very strict discipline policy - absolutely no talking in class. She

> has a card system if the children should do anything wrong, like

> talking or making a mess etc. The child is forced to go in front of

> the class and explain what he did wrong. After four cards, the

> child is sent to the principal's office. This has completely

> terrified my son. My carefree happy little boy is now completely

> changed. I have called the teacher, the LET teacher (several times)

> and the principal who dismissed my concerns.

>

> I am just at my wit's end. My daughter had a lot of these same

> symptoms years before she was diagnosed with OCD, and I vowed that I

> would help my son if ever he showed any signs of anxiety. My son

> has seen his pediatrician, and a social worker - who immediately

> called the school because she was so concerned. She felt he should

> be moved to a different class. - and still nothing. My son couldn't

> sleep again tonight fearing that he might get a card. He is just so

> scared.

>

> I am torn about going to a superintendent for fear that it might

> have a negative impact on how school officials treat my daughter in

> the future. I just don't know what to do. I am watching both my

> children suffer now, and it is tearing me apart. Has anyone been in

> this situation? Can anyone offer any suggestions? Thank you.

>

> nne in Ontario

[Guest guest]

Your son sounds anxious and my first thought is that this teacher is

not appropriate for him. I wouldn't necessarily say that he has OCD

at this point, but I don't know how he will get better in a class like

that. I would go to the school and tell them about how the teacher's

rules are causing him that much anxiety and you would like him

tranfered to another class. My daughter (non-OCD) is a little bit of

an anxious person - she would have trouble with a teacher like that as

well.

Good luck,'

Bonnie

> I am desperate for some advice or suggestions for my 6 year old son

> who has a sister with OCD.

>

> My nine year old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this past spring.

> She has tried prozac and zoloft, but was unable to tolerate them.

> She developed a severe hypomanic reaction. Currently we are

> titrating small amounts of zoloft - right now 3 mg. She is doing

> much better right now. She has weekly CBT/ERP. We have to travel

> to the US for therapy. My husband and I did alot of research,

> bought books and developed an IEP for her since school officials

> really didn't seem to care or know how to help her.

>

> My son just started grade 1, and since his first day of school his

> behaviour has changed dramatically. He is extremely nervous, is

> picking his face, won't sleep by himself, and is very worried about

> school and his teacher. He won't talk to any classmates at recess

> for fear of getting in trouble. He has a teacher this year who has a

> very strict discipline policy - absolutely no talking in class. She

> has a card system if the children should do anything wrong, like

> talking or making a mess etc. The child is forced to go in front of

> the class and explain what he did wrong. After four cards, the

> child is sent to the principal's office. This has completely

> terrified my son. My carefree happy little boy is now completely

> changed. I have called the teacher, the LET teacher (several times)

> and the principal who dismissed my concerns.

>

> I am just at my wit's end. My daughter had a lot of these same

> symptoms years before she was diagnosed with OCD, and I vowed that I

> would help my son if ever he showed any signs of anxiety. My son

> has seen his pediatrician, and a social worker - who immediately

> called the school because she was so concerned. She felt he should

> be moved to a different class. - and still nothing. My son couldn't

> sleep again tonight fearing that he might get a card. He is just so

> scared.

>

> I am torn about going to a superintendent for fear that it might

> have a negative impact on how school officials treat my daughter in

> the future. I just don't know what to do. I am watching both my

> children suffer now, and it is tearing me apart. Has anyone been in

> this situation? Can anyone offer any suggestions? Thank you.

>

> nne in Ontario

[Guest guest]

As mentions, I wouldn't " blast " her publicly quite yet, but making sure

your board of ed is aware of their " employee " is just as good. That letter

will stay in her file should her contract every be reviewed. I'd keep the

letter very professional while at the same time getting your point across. Let's

not forget - she is actually YOUR EMPLOYEE - Remember, you pay taxes, which in

turn pays her salary.

In a message dated 9/15/2005 4:20:51 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

k777thorpe@... writes:

I don't know that you can blast her publicly until your son is out of

there....I wouldn't

[Guest guest]

As mentions, I wouldn't " blast " her publicly quite yet, but making sure

your board of ed is aware of their " employee " is just as good. That letter

will stay in her file should her contract every be reviewed. I'd keep the

letter very professional while at the same time getting your point across. Let's

not forget - she is actually YOUR EMPLOYEE - Remember, you pay taxes, which in

turn pays her salary.

In a message dated 9/15/2005 4:20:51 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

k777thorpe@... writes:

I don't know that you can blast her publicly until your son is out of

there....I wouldn't

[Guest guest]

I'd write a letter addressed to each member of the school board, the

superintendent, the district psychologist, etc.

Make sure they all receive it on the same day (hand deliver if you

have to).

Say who your son is, what his problem is, what you want done for him,

and then

1. ask for a written response outlining what the school is going to

do for him...if they aren't going to do anything for him then you

want a written response saying why nothing will be done.

2. make no mention of any of the resistAnce you've had up 'til

now...let his school admit it or not if they choose to.

if you tell about the bad stuff that has already happend then there

is the risk they will take the position of ... " Well, we didn't do

anything because of this or because of that " Totally on the

defensive.

This way they can make a quick thorough response and get credit for

it...and your son gets what he needs.

> I am desperate for some advice or suggestions for my 6 year old son

> who has a sister with OCD.

>

> My nine year old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this past spring.

> She has tried prozac and zoloft, but was unable to tolerate them.

> She developed a severe hypomanic reaction. Currently we are

> titrating small amounts of zoloft - right now 3 mg. She is doing

> much better right now. She has weekly CBT/ERP. We have to travel

> to the US for therapy. My husband and I did alot of research,

> bought books and developed an IEP for her since school officials

> really didn't seem to care or know how to help her.

>

> My son just started grade 1, and since his first day of school his

> behaviour has changed dramatically. He is extremely nervous, is

> picking his face, won't sleep by himself, and is very worried about

> school and his teacher. He won't talk to any classmates at recess

> for fear of getting in trouble. He has a teacher this year who has

a

> very strict discipline policy - absolutely no talking in class.

She

> has a card system if the children should do anything wrong, like

> talking or making a mess etc. The child is forced to go in front

of

> the class and explain what he did wrong. After four cards, the

> child is sent to the principal's office. This has completely

> terrified my son. My carefree happy little boy is now completely

> changed. I have called the teacher, the LET teacher (several times)

> and the principal who dismissed my concerns.

>

> I am just at my wit's end. My daughter had a lot of these same

> symptoms years before she was diagnosed with OCD, and I vowed that

I

> would help my son if ever he showed any signs of anxiety. My son

> has seen his pediatrician, and a social worker - who immediately

> called the school because she was so concerned. She felt he should

> be moved to a different class. - and still nothing. My son

couldn't

> sleep again tonight fearing that he might get a card. He is just

so

> scared.

>

> I am torn about going to a superintendent for fear that it might

> have a negative impact on how school officials treat my daughter in

> the future. I just don't know what to do. I am watching both my

> children suffer now, and it is tearing me apart. Has anyone been

in

> this situation? Can anyone offer any suggestions? Thank you.

>

> nne in Ontario

[Guest guest]

I'd write a letter addressed to each member of the school board, the

superintendent, the district psychologist, etc.

Make sure they all receive it on the same day (hand deliver if you

have to).

Say who your son is, what his problem is, what you want done for him,

and then

1. ask for a written response outlining what the school is going to

do for him...if they aren't going to do anything for him then you

want a written response saying why nothing will be done.

2. make no mention of any of the resistAnce you've had up 'til

now...let his school admit it or not if they choose to.

if you tell about the bad stuff that has already happend then there

is the risk they will take the position of ... " Well, we didn't do

anything because of this or because of that " Totally on the

defensive.

This way they can make a quick thorough response and get credit for

it...and your son gets what he needs.

> I am desperate for some advice or suggestions for my 6 year old son

> who has a sister with OCD.

>

> My nine year old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this past spring.

> She has tried prozac and zoloft, but was unable to tolerate them.

> She developed a severe hypomanic reaction. Currently we are

> titrating small amounts of zoloft - right now 3 mg. She is doing

> much better right now. She has weekly CBT/ERP. We have to travel

> to the US for therapy. My husband and I did alot of research,

> bought books and developed an IEP for her since school officials

> really didn't seem to care or know how to help her.

>

> My son just started grade 1, and since his first day of school his

> behaviour has changed dramatically. He is extremely nervous, is

> picking his face, won't sleep by himself, and is very worried about

> school and his teacher. He won't talk to any classmates at recess

> for fear of getting in trouble. He has a teacher this year who has

a

> very strict discipline policy - absolutely no talking in class.

She

> has a card system if the children should do anything wrong, like

> talking or making a mess etc. The child is forced to go in front

of

> the class and explain what he did wrong. After four cards, the

> child is sent to the principal's office. This has completely

> terrified my son. My carefree happy little boy is now completely

> changed. I have called the teacher, the LET teacher (several times)

> and the principal who dismissed my concerns.

>

> I am just at my wit's end. My daughter had a lot of these same

> symptoms years before she was diagnosed with OCD, and I vowed that

I

> would help my son if ever he showed any signs of anxiety. My son

> has seen his pediatrician, and a social worker - who immediately

> called the school because she was so concerned. She felt he should

> be moved to a different class. - and still nothing. My son

couldn't

> sleep again tonight fearing that he might get a card. He is just

so

> scared.

>

> I am torn about going to a superintendent for fear that it might

> have a negative impact on how school officials treat my daughter in

> the future. I just don't know what to do. I am watching both my

> children suffer now, and it is tearing me apart. Has anyone been

in

> this situation? Can anyone offer any suggestions? Thank you.

>

> nne in Ontario

[Guest guest]

Now more than ever you need to make your request in writing and ask

for a written response. Make no mention of all this resistance.

Once you've presented it to a dozen people in the district - it is to

the board, the superintendent and many of her pears that she will be

answering to.

She can't take advantage of you if she's answering to them.

She is very unlikely to to treat them the way she's treating you.

Just go ahead and write it up....throw it over the wall....the

spotlight will shine on it and her behavior will be very different

from when it was only you and her.

Once you get what you want from her, then send out another equally

public letter thanking the district for their solution.

I don't know that you can blast her publicly until your son is out of

there....I wouldn't

> > I am desperate for some advice or suggestions for my 6 year old

> son

> > who has a sister with OCD.

> >

> > My nine year old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this past

> spring.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be

accessed at: / .

> Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner,

Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are

Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye,

Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription

issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner,

at louisharkins@y... , louisharkins@h... , louisharkins@g... .

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Now more than ever you need to make your request in writing and ask

for a written response. Make no mention of all this resistance.

Once you've presented it to a dozen people in the district - it is to

the board, the superintendent and many of her pears that she will be

answering to.

She can't take advantage of you if she's answering to them.

She is very unlikely to to treat them the way she's treating you.

Just go ahead and write it up....throw it over the wall....the

spotlight will shine on it and her behavior will be very different

from when it was only you and her.

Once you get what you want from her, then send out another equally

public letter thanking the district for their solution.

I don't know that you can blast her publicly until your son is out of

there....I wouldn't

> > I am desperate for some advice or suggestions for my 6 year old

> son

> > who has a sister with OCD.

> >

> > My nine year old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this past

> spring.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be

accessed at: / .

> Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner,

Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are

Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye,

Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription

issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner,

at louisharkins@y... , louisharkins@h... , louisharkins@g... .

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Good idea, but I would mention that you had already spoken with the

school personnel and weren't satisfied with their response at the

least. You don't want the people receiving the letter to think you

hadn't gone thru the proper channels yet. And I guess the school's

response is he stays and toughs it out in the classroom, i.e., he

isn't changing classes. In the meantime, he is still getting way too

anxious and fretful and you don't think it will get better, blah,

blah, blah. How is he to learn in this environment?

> 2. make no mention of any of the resistAnce you've had up 'til

> now...let his school admit it or not if they choose to.

>

> if you tell about the bad stuff that has already happend then there

> is the risk they will take the position of ... " Well, we didn't do

> anything because of this or because of that " Totally on the

> defensive.

>

> This way they can make a quick thorough response and get credit for

> it...and your son gets what he needs.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Good idea, but I would mention that you had already spoken with the

school personnel and weren't satisfied with their response at the

least. You don't want the people receiving the letter to think you

hadn't gone thru the proper channels yet. And I guess the school's

response is he stays and toughs it out in the classroom, i.e., he

isn't changing classes. In the meantime, he is still getting way too

anxious and fretful and you don't think it will get better, blah,

blah, blah. How is he to learn in this environment?

> 2. make no mention of any of the resistAnce you've had up 'til

> now...let his school admit it or not if they choose to.

>

> if you tell about the bad stuff that has already happend then there

> is the risk they will take the position of ... " Well, we didn't do

> anything because of this or because of that " Totally on the

> defensive.

>

> This way they can make a quick thorough response and get credit for

> it...and your son gets what he needs.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi nne. I was debating about responding because you are not in the US

so my story probably won't help, but I am going to share it anyway. My daughter

is 14 and has OCD and recurrent depression. She has had accommodations in

school, but we were having to fight for some accommodations she needed when

switching schools. We ended up having to get a parent advocate, who was able to

explain the law better to us. She had us keep pursuing what my daughter

needed because the school was incorrect. We ended up calling the US Dept of

Justice(American with Disabilities Act) and the US Dept of Education on the

advice

of the parent advocate. Based on what we were told, we then made the

comment, in a e-mail, that we were considering filing due process. The threat of

due

process was suddenly enough to get the accommodations she was entitled to.

By the way, her new school has not given us any problem at all with any

accommodations she needs. Good luck to you and your son. Kim

In a message dated 9/18/2005 5:22:01 PM Central Standard Time,

marianne_nancy@... writes:

This is exactly the behaviour we saw in our daughter years before OCD hit

her. I will not sit by. I am going to do everything in my power to help my

son and family.

[Guest guest]

You go girl! We are right behind you! In spirit anyway!

I just keep thinking how much I love my students (most of them anyway) and I

just had a parent call me in tears. Her daughter, whom I adore, is in the

hospital. Mom's a wreck of course, but the daughter will not talk to mom, too

much tension, so I'm heading out to the hospital as soon as they approve me.

(The hospital) may be a day or so. My point is that hopefully, your son will

soon get to have teachers who love him and not teachers who are on a power

mission. I hope that this principal gets fired!

in Texas

Thank you very much for your suggestions. I have letters ready to hand

deliver tomorrow. It appears that school officials are playing games with us.

I waited all day Friday for a phone call that they promised - none came.

Originally I was too scared to go any higher that the Principal, but you gave me

the strength I needed to stand up for my son. Thank you.

[Guest guest]

Woo-Hoo!! You go ! You'll see, after this - there will be no turning back!

You'll be the best darn advocate for your son. 's post is a true

example that there are good, compassionate teachers/educators out there -

problem is

they are far and few between, but they do exist.

Keep us updated and let us know how things turn out.

In a message dated 9/18/2005 6:42:29 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

ctimms@... writes:

Thank you very much for your suggestions. I have letters ready to hand

deliver tomorrow. It appears that school officials are playing games with us.

I

waited all day Friday for a phone call that they promised - none came.

Originally I was too scared to go any higher that the Principal, but you gave me

the

strength I needed to stand up for my son. Thank you.