Re: Mad at friend!!! (non OCD mom)

[Guest guest]

A well timed response should work out.

Start out by saying that you've thought a lot about what she said.

Then go for guilt/compassion.

Tell her that if you only knew the pain and disruption and fear your

family faces with this disorder then she'd understand.

Needing this kind of help for your child is not what any parent hopes

and dreams for.

But, you're so grateful to have it and are dreaming of the day when

your child doesn't need it so desperately.

I think a lot of eye contact, a quiet, even toned voice and a genuine

desire for her to see inside your heart will have the effect both you

and she need.

> Just wanted to vent. TOday I was having a great conversation with

my

> dear friend who has 2 girls who are " normal " , bright, etc....

> We were talking about school and she mentioned that she didn't like

the

> special ed teacher that my daughter has. I defended the teacher

> because I have already sat with her at 2 meetings this year and I

> believe that she will stand up for my dd and get her what she

needs. I

> don't love her personality, but oh well.....

> So I told my friend a little bit about what I like about the

teacher

> and how I am doing my best to prevent such a terrible year like we

had

> last year. And that the teacher agrees that if the support isn't

> enough as is, that we need to meet ASAP to talk about what needs to

be

> done. Well, my friend didn't like hearing that and actually asked

me

> to try to make sure they don't wind up cutting back on SPANISH!!!!

She

> is aware of the budget cuts and doesn't want spanish cut. The

nerve of

> her. If she only knew what it was like to have kids like ours. I

am

> really mad and I think I am going to have to say something to her

> because I think it was so insensitive. Like cutting Spanish would

> effect any child's like as negatively as an OCD kid not getting the

> proper support. I am really mad. I am surprised at how mad I am.

> Just wanted to vent!!!!! Ellen

[Guest guest]

I often feel extremely isolated and like it's me against the world when it comes

to Hannah's anxiety and OCD. People just don't understand and sometimes their

ignorance triggers our emotions in ways that we didn't even know were possible.

It is sooo healthy to vent, especially to people who " get it " . My daughter also

has a life-threatening nut allergy and you would be surprised at how many people

don't have information or respect for that. So I understand on many levels. If

she is a true friend, you will be able to discuss your feelings when you have

cooled down. If she is a sometimes friend, you will make a different choice

about discussing your child's school experience. Hang in there.

Chris

musicgirl9395 <musicgirl9395@...> wrote:

Just wanted to vent. TOday I was having a great conversation with my

dear friend who has 2 girls who are " normal " , bright, etc....

We were talking about school and she mentioned that she didn't like the

special ed teacher that my daughter has. I defended the teacher

because I have already sat with her at 2 meetings this year and I

believe that she will stand up for my dd and get her what she needs. I

don't love her personality, but oh well.....

So I told my friend a little bit about what I like about the teacher

and how I am doing my best to prevent such a terrible year like we had

last year. And that the teacher agrees that if the support isn't

enough as is, that we need to meet ASAP to talk about what needs to be

done. Well, my friend didn't like hearing that and actually asked me

to try to make sure they don't wind up cutting back on SPANISH!!!! She

is aware of the budget cuts and doesn't want spanish cut. The nerve of

her. If she only knew what it was like to have kids like ours. I am

really mad and I think I am going to have to say something to her

because I think it was so insensitive. Like cutting Spanish would

effect any child's like as negatively as an OCD kid not getting the

proper support. I am really mad. I am surprised at how mad I am.

Just wanted to vent!!!!! Ellen

Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

/ .

Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., (

http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan,

Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail

Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be

addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... ,

louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... .

[Guest guest]

I think that others would respond the same way if my son needed

something " extra " . I have said in general conversation that " all of

our kids should learn the fundamentals suficiently before we engage

them in extracurricular activities " . This is what the no child left

behind legislation is supposed to be about, and that is what the

majority voted for (i.e., when our current president was elected).

The persons with disabilities act also provided for this a while back.

I would also invite them to voice their opinions at school board

meetings. Our town voted down the school budget last year (as people

were trying to make a statement about our astronomical property taxes)

and the school board uses that to justify the tough policy and

financial decisions they have to make. I listen, but down deep I know

that the law provides that my son's needs be met and I don't give a

hoot what anyone else thinks. If my son can learn English, he surely

does not need Spanish. It amazes me how ignorant people are and their

lack of " community " and empathy down right scare me sometimes.

Thanks for allowing the vent about something that has been on my mind too.

Bonnie

> Just wanted to vent. TOday I was having a great conversation with my

> dear friend who has 2 girls who are " normal " , bright, etc....

> We were talking about school and she mentioned that she didn't like the

> special ed teacher that my daughter has. I defended the teacher

> because I have already sat with her at 2 meetings this year and I

> believe that she will stand up for my dd and get her what she needs. I

> don't love her personality, but oh well.....

> So I told my friend a little bit about what I like about the teacher

> and how I am doing my best to prevent such a terrible year like we had

> last year. And that the teacher agrees that if the support isn't

> enough as is, that we need to meet ASAP to talk about what needs to be

> done. Well, my friend didn't like hearing that and actually asked me

> to try to make sure they don't wind up cutting back on SPANISH!!!! She

> is aware of the budget cuts and doesn't want spanish cut. The nerve of

> her. If she only knew what it was like to have kids like ours. I am

> really mad and I think I am going to have to say something to her

> because I think it was so insensitive. Like cutting Spanish would

> effect any child's like as negatively as an OCD kid not getting the

> proper support. I am really mad. I am surprised at how mad I am.

> Just wanted to vent!!!!! Ellen