Hi, Rhonda -- Pat K

[Guest guest]

Rhonda --- I'm so glad it helps. It really helps me feel better understood...this way no one gets their feelings hurt.....of course it is all in the presentation LOL --- If you say, "hey you idiots, just let me feel" Well....somehow I don't think that will work--- although it would feel good. God understands you Rhonda -- he understands what motivates you, what helps you and he totally understands burnout, the burnout we mom's feel. Autism is hard some-days, and unless others have knowledge of our special children.....they just can't get it...at least some try to though...like Sue, that was really nice last night. Thank you Lord.

e

From: Rhonda Irvin <rhondarvn@...>autism Sent: Tuesday, July 7, 2009 9:03:53 PMSubject: Re: Pat K

e - what you just wrote was like a lightbulb for me right now. I think I need to take a lesson from you and just tell people to let me "feel" what I'm feeling. I know some of the woman at Church if I am going through a rough time with Maddie make me feel like I'm not a strong enough christian/woman and I should always be happy, upbeat, etc. I get terribly frustrated because our Pastor always makes the remark about Maddie having the "perfect" attitude - she is always happy. She is bipolar and they usually see her when she is on a HIGH - but they don't see the lows because when she is having a bad time I don't take her out. It's not that I want pity - just compassion that I'm struggling and let me feel what I'm feeling and considering they don't have any special needs children the respect to not act like they know exactly what I'm going through. Thanks!

Rhonda

From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234 (DOT) com>Subject: Pat KAutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comDate: Tuesday, July 7, 2009, 9:09 PM

Hi, Pat....yes will do this too....he'll give suggestions or criticize my reasoning... .I have learned to tell him (and my well meaning friends) to just allow me to FEEL.....I don't need fixing....telling that to my immediate friends/family has helped me to get less angry when they give me unsolicited advice.....My friend ...she is amazing...she is always happy, and has the "perfect" answers...I can't do always happy LOL (God love her, she wouldn't care in the least that I'm sharing this story) I remember telling her, " please don't be happy all the time, and please don't give me any pep talks...I just need to feel mad, sad, and sorry for myself" LOL, LOL) it took me a long time to be able to say that (42 now) probably took me till about 38 but it has helped me, and has taken the "load" off immediate to come up with a quick validation or helpful hint...just me. You know what....??? hmmmm actually it has been something I've

done more since ...as I'm overwhelmed more now than I was then......... .

I'm soooooooooooooooo guilty of the same things...when I see someone is hurting I want to fix quickly..... and often times it is from my perspective which obviously can't work for everyone..... .again I'm just fixing away

e

From: "pkuenstler@ aol.com" <pkuenstleraol (DOT) com>AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comSent: Tuesday, July 7, 2009 7:43:24 PM

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