Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 Why doesn't he sit down to pee? Any Ideas to help My son who is 11,almost always misses the toliet while urinating. This has been an on going problem for 5-6 years. We have tried everything-rewards, punishment, loss of privileges, etc. Whatever we do helps for a while and than we are back to the same old stuff. We have had him clean the bathroom (with cleaner etc) everytime for weeks on end. Sometimes he will clean 4/5 times a day. It impossible to remove the stains, the bathroom stinks and on one else wants to use it and we have little gnats from it. Sunday, I just lost it with him. He had cleaned the bathroom (after I had cleaned it once) and we had a discussion about it. The next time he went to the bathroom-guess what?? The floor was totally flooded. I blew up and told him that if he was going to act like a dog, he could urinate outside like a dog. So, most of Sunday he went outside. Sunday night, I said OK, we'll try again, and the floor was clean Sunday night. Monday morning the place was flooded again, so agian I told him that he would have to go outside. He was very upset with this and wanted to discuss it over and over agin on the way to camp. I refused to discuss it. Than I got a call from him at camp. He was having a terrible day because he was fixated on the idea of havin to urinate outside and it had morphed into an OCD thing. I reassured him that it didn't have to stand and he needed to boss it back. He had a better afternoon and told me that he was able to boss it back. but we had to stop at the library(which he loves to do) and he started crying that we had to go home because he had to go to the bathroom and how could he use the library's bathroom! He had truely taken my words to heart. I called his CBT Dr and he dicussed it with her. The whole issue has gotten wrapped up in some OCD issues he is having around puberty. At 11, he is physically a 14/15 year old. The Dr told me to let it go for now, but if he does it on the flloor make him clean it up. We already had in place that if he urinated on the floor he lost his game boy time, which he earns for bossing things back. This morning he wipped up twice-there wasn't time to clean before camp. My question is what do we do now. I don't want to make the OCD worse-but this is awful and I can't deal with it anymore. Any ideas would be welcomed Shoshanarahel-who has to go clean the bathroom again Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at: / . Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 So since this is OCD - he is purposefuly missing the toilet?? Sorry, just not sure if this is bad aim/is trying, or some OCD-miss the toilet problem. If he is trying, have you -and I'm just thinking of things we tried or I've heard/read (I have 3 sons) - putting a piece of the toilet paper or Cheerios or something in the commode and he tries to aim at it; or sitting down (think this was suggested). How are his motor skills? His vision? Sometimes eyes/vison and aim or motor skills don't go together. I didn't realize how bad my son's vision was until 9th grade! We always got the school vision checkup, saying he should get them checked in middle school, but he read, did his schoolwork, etc., OK, so I never pursued an actual test with a doctor. Until he failed the eye exam for taking driver's ed. He told me he could not read hardly a letter on it below a certain line. So just saying vision might play a part in this (hey, he was my one who seemed to have most trouble with his aim growing up!). And motor skills can play a part in this skill also I think, as it certainly does in other areas of life, between what the brain thinks, tells body to do, and what actually happens, etc. (simply put). If this is a problem and not OCD, then from what I've read about similar things like bedwetting, punishment will definitely not help. So it might be something he just needs to really work on and take the consequences of having to clean up each time until he finally hits it! Chlorox or some other strong cleaner might help with odor. If it's all OCD - hmmm...that'll take more thought! single mom 3 sons and my oldest STILL leaves the seat up! not the younger two > My son who is 11,almost always misses the toliet while urinating. > This has been an on going problem for 5-6 years. We have tried > everything-rewards, punishment, loss of privileges, etc. Whatever we > do helps for a while and than we are back to the same old stuff. We > have had him clean the bathroom (with cleaner etc) everytime for > weeks on end. Sometimes he will clean 4/5 times a day. It impossible > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 Maybe you can tell him to pee on the floor just for a few seconds in the beginning...but always finish up in the toilet...and then limit the amount of seconds to where eventually he is peeing it all in the toilet.... maybe in the meantime you can put towels around the toilet and tell him to pee on those... and then make him wash them.... just some thoughts...maybe not good ones but I threw them out there. Any Ideas to help My son who is 11,almost always misses the toliet while urinating. This has been an on going problem for 5-6 years. We have tried everything-rewards, punishment, loss of privileges, etc. Whatever we do helps for a while and than we are back to the same old stuff. We have had him clean the bathroom (with cleaner etc) everytime for weeks on end. Sometimes he will clean 4/5 times a day. It impossible to remove the stains, the bathroom stinks and on one else wants to use it and we have little gnats from it. Sunday, I just lost it with him. He had cleaned the bathroom (after I had cleaned it once) and we had a discussion about it. The next time he went to the bathroom-guess what?? The floor was totally flooded. I blew up and told him that if he was going to act like a dog, he could urinate outside like a dog. So, most of Sunday he went outside. Sunday night, I said OK, we'll try again, and the floor was clean Sunday night. Monday morning the place was flooded again, so agian I told him that he would have to go outside. He was very upset with this and wanted to discuss it over and over agin on the way to camp. I refused to discuss it. Than I got a call from him at camp. He was having a terrible day because he was fixated on the idea of havin to urinate outside and it had morphed into an OCD thing. I reassured him that it didn't have to stand and he needed to boss it back. He had a better afternoon and told me that he was able to boss it back. but we had to stop at the library(which he loves to do) and he started crying that we had to go home because he had to go to the bathroom and how could he use the library's bathroom! He had truely taken my words to heart. I called his CBT Dr and he dicussed it with her. The whole issue has gotten wrapped up in some OCD issues he is having around puberty. At 11, he is physically a 14/15 year old. The Dr told me to let it go for now, but if he does it on the flloor make him clean it up. We already had in place that if he urinated on the floor he lost his game boy time, which he earns for bossing things back. This morning he wipped up twice-there wasn't time to clean before camp. My question is what do we do now. I don't want to make the OCD worse-but this is awful and I can't deal with it anymore. Any ideas would be welcomed Shoshanarahel-who has to go clean the bathroom again Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at: / . Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 This was a non OCD situation but it may be helpful for your situation. My cousin when he was young had a debilitating muscle condition. His loss of muscle tone left him unable to urinate into the toilet. It ended up being everywhere, floor, walls, side of tub, etc. the solution while he recovered was using a hand held plastic urinal. He could put his part into the container, go and empty it when finished. I am not sure at your son's age if this would be of any use to you but it was just a passing thought. Good Luck! _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of shoshanarahel Sent: Tuesday, July 19, 2005 1:11 PM Subject: Any Ideas to help My son who is 11,almost always misses the toliet while urinating. This has been an on going problem for 5-6 years. We have tried everything-rewards, punishment, loss of privileges, etc. Whatever we do helps for a while and than we are back to the same old stuff. We have had him clean the bathroom (with cleaner etc) everytime for weeks on end. Sometimes he will clean 4/5 times a day. It impossible to remove the stains, the bathroom stinks and on one else wants to use it and we have little gnats from it. Sunday, I just lost it with him. He had cleaned the bathroom (after I had cleaned it once) and we had a discussion about it. The next time he went to the bathroom-guess what?? The floor was totally flooded. I blew up and told him that if he was going to act like a dog, he could urinate outside like a dog. So, most of Sunday he went outside. Sunday night, I said OK, we'll try again, and the floor was clean Sunday night. Monday morning the place was flooded again, so agian I told him that he would have to go outside. He was very upset with this and wanted to discuss it over and over agin on the way to camp. I refused to discuss it. Than I got a call from him at camp. He was having a terrible day because he was fixated on the idea of havin to urinate outside and it had morphed into an OCD thing. I reassured him that it didn't have to stand and he needed to boss it back. He had a better afternoon and told me that he was able to boss it back. but we had to stop at the library(which he loves to do) and he started crying that we had to go home because he had to go to the bathroom and how could he use the library's bathroom! He had truely taken my words to heart. I called his CBT Dr and he dicussed it with her. The whole issue has gotten wrapped up in some OCD issues he is having around puberty. At 11, he is physically a 14/15 year old. The Dr told me to let it go for now, but if he does it on the flloor make him clean it up. We already had in place that if he urinated on the floor he lost his game boy time, which he earns for bossing things back. This morning he wipped up twice-there wasn't time to clean before camp. My question is what do we do now. I don't want to make the OCD worse-but this is awful and I can't deal with it anymore. Any ideas would be welcomed Shoshanarahel-who has to go clean the bathroom again Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at: / . Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 Hi Amy, That is a great idea to try if it's not OCD/on purpose. He could still practice " aiming " sometimes but at least it's an option for him to use instead of cleaning up each time he goes. I recall when the kids were all little (3 sons), I'd be out & about with them on some errands or visit and the number of times I wished I'd brought some jar or something along, I used to wonder if one of our ketchup bottles would work, LOL! Never did try it, the boys probably would have refused! (now 16) used to hit the water - gee, he'll love me telling this - but still get some pee on the seat (which he wouldn't raise, sigh) and would get complaints about " at LEAST wipe up the seat! " when someone else would go in after. Finally at some point, but at a later than usual/typical age, he improved his aim. Hmmm...or either he's just real good at cleaning up after now, LOL. > This was a non OCD situation but it may be helpful for your situation. My > cousin when he was young had a debilitating muscle condition. His loss of > muscle tone left him unable to urinate into the toilet. It ended up being Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 Hi , I think those were some good ideas to try if OCD is involved in his not peeing in the toilet. It's something he can work on in steps, like you said, for a few seconds at first and then try longer! > Maybe you can tell him to pee on the floor just for a few seconds in the beginning...but always finish up in the toilet...and then limit the amount of seconds to where eventually he is peeing it all in the toilet.... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 I think that they make these sort of training pads/papers to circle a toilet for boys when they are toddlers. I don't know what they cost. Another option...a bucket in front of the toilet to catch what may fall? My 6 yr old occasionally gets distracted and misses. I keep those flushable wipes in the bathroom and I have him clean it up and flush. Bonnie > > This was a non OCD situation but it may be helpful for your > situation. My > > cousin when he was young had a debilitating muscle condition. His > loss of > > muscle tone left him unable to urinate into the toilet. It ended > up being Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 Could he pee in the tub? Any Ideas to help My son who is 11,almost always misses the toliet while urinating. This has been an on going problem for 5-6 years. We have tried everything-rewards, punishment, loss of privileges, etc. Whatever we do helps for a while and than we are back to the same old stuff. We have had him clean the bathroom (with cleaner etc) everytime for weeks on end. Sometimes he will clean 4/5 times a day. It impossible to remove the stains, the bathroom stinks and on one else wants to use it and we have little gnats from it. Sunday, I just lost it with him. He had cleaned the bathroom (after I had cleaned it once) and we had a discussion about it. The next time he went to the bathroom-guess what?? The floor was totally flooded. I blew up and told him that if he was going to act like a dog, he could urinate outside like a dog. So, most of Sunday he went outside. Sunday night, I said OK, we'll try again, and the floor was clean Sunday night. Monday morning the place was flooded again, so agian I told him that he would have to go outside. He was very upset with this and wanted to discuss it over and over agin on the way to camp. I refused to discuss it. Than I got a call from him at camp. He was having a terrible day because he was fixated on the idea of havin to urinate outside and it had morphed into an OCD thing. I reassured him that it didn't have to stand and he needed to boss it back. He had a better afternoon and told me that he was able to boss it back. but we had to stop at the library(which he loves to do) and he started crying that we had to go home because he had to go to the bathroom and how could he use the library's bathroom! He had truely taken my words to heart. I called his CBT Dr and he dicussed it with her. The whole issue has gotten wrapped up in some OCD issues he is having around puberty. At 11, he is physically a 14/15 year old. The Dr told me to let it go for now, but if he does it on the flloor make him clean it up. We already had in place that if he urinated on the floor he lost his game boy time, which he earns for bossing things back. This morning he wipped up twice-there wasn't time to clean before camp. My question is what do we do now. I don't want to make the OCD worse-but this is awful and I can't deal with it anymore. Any ideas would be welcomed Shoshanarahel-who has to go clean the bathroom again Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at: / . Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2005 Report Share Posted July 21, 2005 Have you ever asked him why he misses the toilet? Is it an OCD thing? Maybe the whole problem is an OCD compulsion to begin with. Robin in NJ > Could he pee in the tub? > Any Ideas to help > > > My son who is 11,almost always misses the toliet while urinating. > This has been an on going problem for 5-6 years. We have tried > everything-rewards, punishment, loss of privileges, etc. Whatever we > do helps for a while and than we are back to the same old stuff. We > have had him clean the bathroom (with cleaner etc) everytime for > weeks on end. Sometimes he will clean 4/5 times a day. It impossible > to remove the stains, the bathroom stinks and on one else wants to > use it and we have little gnats from it. > Sunday, I just lost it with him. He had cleaned the bathroom (after I > had cleaned it once) and we had a discussion about it. The next time > he went to the bathroom-guess what?? The floor was totally flooded. I > blew up and told him that if he was going to act like a dog, he could > urinate outside like a dog. So, most of Sunday he went outside. > Sunday night, I said OK, we'll try again, and the floor was clean > Sunday night. Monday morning the place was flooded again, so agian I > told him that he would have to go outside. He was very upset with > this and wanted to discuss it over and over agin on the way to camp. > I refused to discuss it. Than I got a call from him at camp. He was > having a terrible day because he was fixated on the idea of havin to > urinate outside and it had morphed into an OCD thing. I reassured him > that it didn't have to stand and he needed to boss it back. > He had a better afternoon and told me that he was able to boss it > back. but we had to stop at the library(which he loves to do) and he > started crying that we had to go home because he had to go to the > bathroom and how could he use the library's bathroom! He had truely > taken my words to heart. I called his CBT Dr and he dicussed it with > her. The whole issue has gotten wrapped up in some OCD issues he is > having around puberty. At 11, he is physically a 14/15 year old. The > Dr told me to let it go for now, but if he does it on the flloor make > him clean it up. We already had in place that if he urinated on the > floor he lost his game boy time, which he earns for bossing things > back. > This morning he wipped up twice-there wasn't time to clean before > camp. My question is what do we do now. I don't want to make the OCD > worse-but this is awful and I can't deal with it anymore. > Any ideas would be welcomed > > Shoshanarahel-who has to go clean the bathroom again > > > > > Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at: / . > Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D. ( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@y... , louisharkins@h... , louisharkins@g... . > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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