Guest guest Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 Rhonda, This is exactly what I have had to do in regards to placing my son in a home. I had to take the "mommy" feelings out and look at the long term effects of my decision. Believe me, its not easy. I cried my eyes out for days about my decision. I have to look at what is best for my son so he can have a productive life. If I left my "mommy" feelings in the mix, he wouldn't be going anywhere. I may not be making sense, may not have even answered your question. NW Ohio From: Rhonda <trkn4@...>autism Sent: Wednesday, July 8, 2009 10:57:44 AMSubject: Be More Clinical That's what I have to learn to do according to the Behavior Psychologist. I'm to "motherly" for my 13 y.o. son. And it's true - I am. But I've always been that way - w/my 22 y.o. as well. I didn't raise a "mommies boy", my oldest is quite the manly young man! - but I definitely have always been more of a nurturer of my children's personalities than an authoritarian type figure.Any tips for taking the emotions out of it???????? Because in my case - better said than done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 I'm that way too Rhonda...I will look forward with you for ideas... e From: Rhonda <trkn4@...>autism Sent: Wednesday, July 8, 2009 9:57:44 AMSubject: Be More Clinical That's what I have to learn to do according to the Behavior Psychologist. I'm to "motherly" for my 13 y.o. son. And it's true - I am. But I've always been that way - w/my 22 y.o. as well. I didn't raise a "mommies boy", my oldest is quite the manly young man! - but I definitely have always been more of a nurturer of my children's personalities than an authoritarian type figure.Any tips for taking the emotions out of it???????? Because in my case - better said than done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2009 Report Share Posted July 9, 2009 Hey Rhonda.....I've been thinking about this question...I have a little one, so I can't offer advice for a 13 yr old, but wanted to pass along my mindset...Like I said yesterday, I am very motherly...I remember early on ('s been getting intervention since he was 10 months old) --- one of the therapists whom I adored, said, "e sometimes what makes us terrific mom's can also be what keeps our babies from being independent, learning, feeling and working things out on their own" --- She was right...I would rather do it for than to watch him struggle ---- I still have to remind myself, that "it is for his good" that I keep quiet, or withhold a little bit so he can learn....I sort of look at it this way (but not too often go deep with it, cause it's too scary for me) ---- I won't be around to protect and love on him forever...so I have to teach the world about him, as well as teach him to be the best he can be.....I often ask myself, is this helpful for john....would someone in the "real" world be able to "keep this up" like I do --- I know there's a fine line and I'm struggling to find it, and I'm positive I will be for the rest of my life......but I want for to be loved, to be "easy" to care for, to be somewhat in "control" of his emotions, and the only way I have found (and again he's only 2.5 -- which means that I have a long road ahead) is to help him learn to be the best he can be on his own some...and that means letting him cry until he gets it, or until he uses his "calm body" --- I will take a toy away when he throws it, knowing that someone else would do the same thing and I won't be here forever......he has to learn boundaries, and "rules" again to the best of his ability......I also know that when he hits me and he does...I don't cater to him....I'm aware that when his is older this will get more difficult....my hope is that like Karac, or some other teenagers....it will be infrequent, cause 's learned some boundaries...maybe not, but I have to do my best now so I know that in the end, I did my best. I'm rambling, but wanted you to know that I struggle with this a lot, and I'm so glad you brought it up...... Hope you have a great day. e From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234@...>autism Sent: Wednesday, July 8, 2009 11:55:56 AMSubject: Re: Be More Clinical I'm that way too Rhonda...I will look forward with you for ideas... e From: Rhonda <trkn4@...>autism Sent: Wednesday, July 8, 2009 9:57:44 AMSubject: Be More Clinical That's what I have to learn to do according to the Behavior Psychologist. I'm to "motherly" for my 13 y.o. son. And it's true - I am. But I've always been that way - w/my 22 y.o. as well. I didn't raise a "mommies boy", my oldest is quite the manly young man! - but I definitely have always been more of a nurturer of my children's personalities than an authoritarian type figure.Any tips for taking the emotions out of it???????? Because in my case - better said than done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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