Long WAS Re: Question

[Guest guest]

Hi , congrats to your daughter for her bossing and the awesome days!

It's to be expected that recovery will have some ups and downs rather than

being a smooth path of improvement. You might tell your daughter this so

she doesn't become discouraged. If she couldn't get it this time, oh well,

she'll do better next time. OCD doesn't play fair sometimes :-(

No doubt your daughter's tantrum and " batty " running around was due to a

sudden blast of anxiety. If it caught her off guard, that's probably why

she couldn't muster her boss-back expertise in the moment.

If she's safe, I don't see anything wrong with just letting her be during an

episode like this. You could do it on your own rather than follow OCD's

commands, which will strengthen the OCD. If she is shouting commands or

using hurtful language, just calmly tell her you will be in the kitchen (or

wherever) and go there. If she follows you, busy yourself with doing dishes

or whatever is at hand, but stay calm and that can help your daughter regain

control. If she demands that you say or do something, just reply that you

love her too much to help OCD torment her.

If she's likely to hurt herself (crash into walls, fall on stairs or

whatever), then yes I'd tell her to go to her room until she feels better.

I wouldn't do this as a punishment though, just more of a plan to follow

when she is out of control with anxiety.

Do you remember in old movies when someone is hysterical and someone slaps

them across the face? The hysterical one suddenly stops due to the shock of

the slap. Well of course I'm not suggesting that you slap your daughter,

but some sort of distraction on your part can help pull her attention off

the awful anxiety or thought or whatever it is that is freaking her out.

Once when my dd was in the middle of a frightening anxious meltdown, I said

" Oh! I forgot! I was able to find that sketchpad you've been looking for

at Target today! " and pulled it out of the bag that happened to be nearby.

Believe it or not, this was enough to pull her attention off of the anxiety

and onto to the sketchpad, five minutes later she was curled up on the couch

sketching, singing to herself as though nothing had ever happened. Another

time, a loud knock at the door startled my dd during one of these episodes,

she answered the door, it was her friend from next door, and off they ran to

the backyard to play. Once, I broke into my version of Irish step dancing,

which also was startling enough to pull her attention off of OCD :-)

Finally, if she's agreeable, find out what this freak out was about, and do

ERP daily (or more often) on this issue. Remember to start very small so

it's easy at first for your daughter to win against the OCD. Then gradually

increase the exposure until she's bored with the whole issue. An effective

starting place may be just to talk about the episode.

Hope something here helps,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: " ginalynireland " <ginaireland@...>

> Ok..we are new to ocd. We are about to months into it. My daughter has

> had a couple of awesome days. But just a few minutes ago she was into

> one of her " things " and I guess the bossing back wasn't working and

> she just goes into this major tantrum fit. She starts running around

> the house screaming I just can't do it kinda going batty. I am

> freaking out she is telling me just to sit down and leave her alone

> and ordering me around and I am doing just what she says.

>

> What do I do when she does it? Should I send her to her room? or let

> her do it?

>

> help

>