Guest guest Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 e I know all of you think I am probably the biggest jerk in the world. I do resist a lot of the advice because I have already tried it with no luck. He has boundaries he has decided to step over them and I can't reign him in. His father for the first time saw how difficult he is with me. I still like hearing the advice even if I reject it at first, I take a long time to process stuff and shoot my mouth off first especially if I am having a bad day like today. Dan had a difficult day in the Discovery Center and that set the whole thing to get worse. Now I have a dog that is throwing up all over the place and a rental car that says I can't put him in it to take him to the vet and my car isn't ready and my husband won't be home for hours. I just overloaded right now, scared and frightened I have to get a reign on Danny I so want to medicate him but my hubby absolutely refuses to hear me out. I have tried even in marriage counseling I brought it up but it was a taboo topic so I got no where. I love my child to pieces but I don't know how to help him, he refuses any help from me he wants his dad and his dad only. It's a sad time for me cause he used to only want me. e you are a great person keep sending me advice whether I ask for it or not it will sink in at some point. I have been where you have been with a little one cause he is now 11 and he didn't get there by magic. I worked very hard with him when he was little, I just don't have the fight in me right now, and I don't quite know what he needs when it is sensory I know but this is different its not sensory seeking so I don't know how to help him. Sharon From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234@...>Subject: Hi, Sharon ---autism Date: Monday, July 6, 2009, 5:11 PM Hi, Sharon...Small towns can be wonderful and very hard too --- Please know that my field of work/study, makes me have great compassion for you (not pity, as I hate pity lol) --- it is so hard when you don't have the money, nor the time, nor the facilities, support, or the wonderfulness of good care close by...it is really rough..... I know you feel powerless, but dear lady you are not. What will solve the problem is when you begin to help him in ways that you can --- consequences, physical activity, possible medication (you and your hubby will need to decide) --- I know you think you do, and perhaps you are burned out...I can understand that...but sweet lady this is up to you and your hubby....no one can solve this for you --- you tend to resist advice, we've talked about setting boundaries, we've talked about meds, we've talked about exercise and all the easy ways to help him be more active...-- sad thing is the more isolated our kids are, the more angry they get, the more they mouth off, and verbally or physically assault, the more isolated they are.... That's a fact for all our kids...we live it every day...all of us, struggling for the same end...to help our kids remain healthy, fit, joyful, and have self control, friendships. ..it is heartbreaking but....you are not helpless nor are you powerless... .. Sharon, you are a good mom --- you love your child --- he needs you more than he can explain, and I see you trying so hard.....but it needs tweaking somehow...My prayer is that you and your husband will be able to come together and figure this out....it's like Debbie said.....discipline can make her day a living hell....but she is hopeful that with time it will help....I believe that it will --- Most of our children CAN be helped, very, very few cannot be helped---- Danny is still VERY young, and he seems to be able to verbalize, etc......it will not get better without help...only worse.... I know you ask questions and vent and often times don't need an answer, or advice.....so I'll stop...In the future if you are merely venting...will you please let me/us know so that we won't give unwanted advice...Thanks! Blessings and prayers going out to you today...I know you are hurting and feel sad for your son....it's so hard when kids make fun --- e btw, I'm really proud of your - 16 pounds...you will continue to gain more energy, and will be able to do more and more...keep up the wonderful work......I KNOW it's hard. I'm very proud of you!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Thanks Sharon...I know lots of mom's who were were I am, and they are still fighting the good fight with there 4,5,8,9,15,17,18 years old...it's exhausting, but doable...I will pray for God to give you some peace, less fear, and good clear answers. You and your hubby will figure this out....I praise God that your hubby is beginning to "see" what is truly going on.....Thank you for your honesty!!!! Blessings,justine From: Sharon <kmusikmom2@...>autism Sent: Monday, July 6, 2009 5:26:50 PMSubject: Re: Hi, Sharon --- e I know all of you think I am probably the biggest jerk in the world. I do resist a lot of the advice because I have already tried it with no luck. He has boundaries he has decided to step over them and I can't reign him in. His father for the first time saw how difficult he is with me. I still like hearing the advice even if I reject it at first, I take a long time to process stuff and shoot my mouth off first especially if I am having a bad day like today. Dan had a difficult day in the Discovery Center and that set the whole thing to get worse. Now I have a dog that is throwing up all over the place and a rental car that says I can't put him in it to take him to the vet and my car isn't ready and my husband won't be home for hours. I just overloaded right now, scared and frightened I have to get a reign on Danny I so want to medicate him but my hubby absolutely refuses to hear me out. I have tried even in marriage counseling I brought it up but it was a taboo topic so I got no where. I love my child to pieces but I don't know how to help him, he refuses any help from me he wants his dad and his dad only. It's a sad time for me cause he used to only want me. e you are a great person keep sending me advice whether I ask for it or not it will sink in at some point. I have been where you have been with a little one cause he is now 11 and he didn't get there by magic. I worked very hard with him when he was little, I just don't have the fight in me right now, and I don't quite know what he needs when it is sensory I know but this is different its not sensory seeking so I don't know how to help him. Sharon From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234 (DOT) com>Subject: Hi, Sharon ---AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, July 6, 2009, 5:11 PM Hi, Sharon...Small towns can be wonderful and very hard too --- Please know that my field of work/study, makes me have great compassion for you (not pity, as I hate pity lol) --- it is so hard when you don't have the money, nor the time, nor the facilities, support, or the wonderfulness of good care close by...it is really rough..... I know you feel powerless, but dear lady you are not. What will solve the problem is when you begin to help him in ways that you can --- consequences, physical activity, possible medication (you and your hubby will need to decide) --- I know you think you do, and perhaps you are burned out...I can understand that....but sweet lady this is up to you and your hubby....no one can solve this for you --- you tend to resist advice, we've talked about setting boundaries, we've talked about meds, we've talked about exercise and all the easy ways to help him be more active...-- sad thing is the more isolated our kids are, the more angry they get, the more they mouth off, and verbally or physically assault, the more isolated they are.... That's a fact for all our kids...we live it every day...all of us, struggling for the same end...to help our kids remain healthy, fit, joyful, and have self control, friendships. ..it is heartbreaking but....you are not helpless nor are you powerless... .. Sharon, you are a good mom --- you love your child --- he needs you more than he can explain, and I see you trying so hard.....but it needs tweaking somehow...My prayer is that you and your husband will be able to come together and figure this out....it's like Debbie said.....discipline can make her day a living hell....but she is hopeful that with time it will help....I believe that it will --- Most of our children CAN be helped, very, very few cannot be helped---- Danny is still VERY young, and he seems to be able to verbalize, etc......it will not get better without help....only worse.... I know you ask questions and vent and often times don't need an answer, or advice.....so I'll stop...In the future if you are merely venting...will you please let me/us know so that we won't give unwanted advice...Thanks! Blessings and prayers going out to you today...I know you are hurting and feel sad for your son....it's so hard when kids make fun --- e btw, I'm really proud of your - 16 pounds...you will continue to gain more energy, and will be able to do more and more...keep up the wonderful work.......I KNOW it's hard. I'm very proud of you!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Sharon, Danny is going to be a teenager; it is normal for boys at that age to identify with their dads. I have said it before and I will say it again; you are so fortunate that your husband is involved with Danny. Danny is going to treat you very much in the way that he sees your husband treat you. Your husband is the one to teach Danny to treat you with respect. It may be time for you to rethink your parenting style with Danny. What is good and effective when they are younger many times does not work when they are older. Love and blessings, Pat K Hi, Sharon --- autism Date: Monday, July 6, 2009, 5:11 PM Hi, Sharon...Small towns can be wonderful and very hard too --- Please know that my field of work/study, makes me have great compassion for you (not pity, as I hate pity lol) --- it is so hard when you don't have the money, nor the time, nor the facilities, support, or the wonderfulness of good care close by...it is really rough..... I know you feel powerless, but dear lady you are not. What will solve the problem is when you begin to help him in ways that you can --- consequences, physical activity, possible medication (you and your hubby will need to decide) --- I know you think you do, and perhaps you are burned out...I can understand that...but sweet lady this is up to you and your hubby....no one can solve this for you --- you tend to resist advice, we've talked about setting boundaries, we've talked about meds, we've talked about exercise and all the easy ways to help him be more active...-- sad thing is the more isolated our kids are, the more angry they get, the more they mouth off, and verbally or physically assault, the more isolated they are.... That's a fact for all our kids...we live it every day...all of us, struggling for the same end...to help our kids remain healthy, fit, joyful, and have self control, friendships. ..it is heartbreaking but....you are not helpless nor are you powerless... .. Sharon, you are a good mom --- you love your child --- he needs you more than he can explain, and I see you trying so hard.....but it needs tweaking somehow...My prayer is that you and your husband will be able to come together and figure this out....it's like Debbie said.....discipline can make her day a living hell....but she is hopeful that with time it will help....I believe that it will --- Most of our children CAN be helped, very, very few cannot be helped---- Danny is still VERY young, and he seems to be able to verbalize, etc......it will not get better without help...only worse.... I know you ask questions and vent and often times don't need an answer, or advice.....so I'll stop...In the future if you are merely venting...will you please let me/us know so that we won't give unwanted advice...Thanks! Blessings and prayers going out to you today...I know you are hurting and feel sad for your son....it's so hard when kids make fun --- e btw, I'm really proud of your - 16 pounds...you will continue to gain more energy, and will be able to do more and more...keep up the wonderful work......I KNOW it's hard. I'm very proud of you!!!!! Finding the best videos just got easier. Try the NEW Truveo.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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