how much independence?

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I hope we all had a chance to enjoy some of this long weekend. With

things have gotten a little trickier!! I knew this day was coming and it is a

good thing but sometimes these steps forward are harder then going backward! at

least for me. He wants more Independence! He will be 9 this summer and I just

don't know how much to give and what to fight. He wants the side gate unlocked

so he can use his play lawn mower and weed wacker in both the front and back (so

adorable! I made him a grass bag like his Dads and he LOVES it and pretends to

empty it etc.. ). At this point he stays in our yard and will just go around

the front and back and along the fence. He also has been riding his bike up and

down our block. He stops at the end of the block and turns around, not crossing

a street or even going into the street. Yesterday he decided to ride around the

block and just did it.. I couldn't catch him and had to go to our other corner

and wait for him. I gave him one warning to stay on our street but he went

around again and at this point I took his bike away for 2 days. He gets it back

on Wed and I'm not sure where to go from here. Should I give him more freedom

(making sure he asks first) and teach him to go around the block not crossing

any streets or should I stick to the our own street rule? Maybe I should teach

him to cross our street (not a very busy one, a side street that is one block

long) and use both sides of our block? I kind of like that he doesn't cross now

but just like staying on our block he could just decide not to follow that rule

one day and I should probably reinforce how to cross correctly (I do this when

we would go on walks and he rode his bike but he is really too fast for that

now). I really want to give him a little freedom and I know it will be really

good for him in the long run but I'm not sure how much is right. I'm afraid if I

don't give him some freedom he will start running again to get it!! I really

don't want that to start again but he is such a strange mixture of skills! I

just don't know how much is enough for him. He can read and he does some 2

grade achool work, he will follow 2-3 step related directions and you can

negotiate with him and explain waiting for a certain time or day and he will

accept it (like waiting for his birthday to get a new toy) but I don't know how

this translates into him making a good safe decision on his own (I know he is

just around the block but it is out of my sight!). Any advice would be great!!

Kellie