Re: Re: how much independence?

[Guest guest]

Hey , My saying is "always go with your heart". Each child

is different. Many when it comes to skills in restroom, in public,

playing in yard, etc. need to me supervised or still can't go on their

own. I personally still don't let mine go in a public restroom by

himself at age 12. He still pulls his pants down to his ankles for

even #1. To play in the yard by him or herself (is it really safe)?

We use to live in the safest neighborhood up to last year but

even a neighbors son in that wonderful neighborhood was

approached by a man in a stationwagon and tried to abduct him.

What is normal in todays world or what is safe?

One of us is always out with our child if he is out.

Take a book and read while he plays. We are always doing science

outside. We put key locks on each exterior door for our sons safety.

This is not your case but have had a mom accused of neglect by a

neighbor who just didn't like her when her son was out playing

and she was not outside with the child. He is labeled Autistic.

It all turned out okay for that mom.

At my sons age never had a problem with him opening car doors

while in motion. Only read about others. A month ago, we are

going down I-4 going 75 & all had our seat belts on. For some

reason he opens his door. My husbands scream I think was

enough to scare all of us. My son tries to close the door and

it had to take my help. He never has tried again and we do have

the child lock on back doors of car now.

Questions I would ask myself "could he run away" if he knew he

was in a bad situation?

Does he really and comprehensionally understand "uncomfortable or bad

situation"?

Is he verbal enough to tell you if something happened and give

you all the details?

Just keep up the good work and this has to be exciting w/moving.

Willy

From: karenrichard2000 <karenrichard2000@...>autism Sent: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 9:58:17 AMSubject: Re: how much independence?

Hi Kellie,This is a hard one that I am still battling with who will be 11 in September.I still find it hard to let him out of the backyard unless I am out there. We live in a pretty good sized city (200,00 - 250,000) and I just don't trust anybody when it comes to my son. I have let him play in the back-yard with the back-door open and the gate across the driveway locked with a padlock, by himself. We are moving in the next 2 weeks and the new house has no backyard, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do then.Hopefully someone else will have some more ideas. I will keep watching also to see if I can use any of the tips they give.>> Hi

everyone,> I hope we all had a chance to enjoy some of this long weekend. With things have gotten a little trickier!! I knew this day was coming and it is a good thing but sometimes these steps forward are harder then going backward! at least for me. He wants more Independence! He will be 9 this summer and I just don't know how much to give and what to fight. He wants the side gate unlocked so he can use his play lawn mower and weed wacker in both the front and back (so adorable! I made him a grass bag like his Dads and he LOVES it and pretends to empty it etc.. ). At this point he stays in our yard and will just go around the front and back and along the fence. He also has been riding his bike up and down our block. He stops at the end of the block and turns around, not crossing a street or even going into the street. Yesterday he decided to ride around the block and just did it.. I couldn't catch him and had to go to our other corner and

wait for him. I gave him one warning to stay on our street but he went around again and at this point I took his bike away for 2 days. He gets it back on Wed and I'm not sure where to go from here. Should I give him more freedom (making sure he asks first) and teach him to go around the block not crossing any streets or should I stick to the our own street rule? Maybe I should teach him to cross our street (not a very busy one, a side street that is one block long) and use both sides of our block? I kind of like that he doesn't cross now but just like staying on our block he could just decide not to follow that rule one day and I should probably reinforce how to cross correctly (I do this when we would go on walks and he rode his bike but he is really too fast for that now). I really want to give him a little freedom and I know it will be really good for him in the long run but I'm not sure how much is right. I'm afraid if I don't give him some freedom

he will start running again to get it!! I really don't want that to start again but he is such a strange mixture of skills! I just don't know how much is enough for him. He can read and he does some 2 grade achool work, he will follow 2-3 step related directions and you can negotiate with him and explain waiting for a certain time or day and he will accept it (like waiting for his birthday to get a new toy) but I don't know how this translates into him making a good safe decision on his own (I know he is just around the block but it is out of my sight!). Any advice would be great!! Kellie>