Guest guest Posted November 20, 2002 Report Share Posted November 20, 2002 Hi Lyn, I'm sorry I have no wisdom regarding improving eye contact - as we have that problem too. But I was wondering how old your son is and why is he tube fed? Our daughter, Hannah is 5 and DS/Aut and is still tube fed her liquids and nobody seems to know why she can't drink. I was wondering if you had any insight on DS/Aut kids and drinking problems. Blessings, a P.S. We just tell people that Hannah is Baptist - not a heavy drinker. :> ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 20, 2002 Report Share Posted November 20, 2002 Lyn, Eye contact took us a while to get, but the thing that worked was Floortime. You need to be HIGHLY animated with Josiah, to keep his interest in interaction piqued. Don't just talk to him, make him WANT to look into your eyes. Make funny faces, giggle, click noises with your tongue, Peek a boo. When you play ball, hold the ball up to your GIANT SMILING face before you toss it to him. Take toys and put them on your head, kiss things and then say " Josiah's turn " and then make sure you always kiss him next (never exclude him...if you do it to a doll, always do him next). If he loses interest and goes off into his own world, imitate him. Do it beside him. Tell your daughter to do the same. It's hard work, but persistence pays off!! Good luck, Donna eye contact > <span><p><span><p> > > > <tt> > Hello everyone, > > > > I have been reading, sorry I don't post much, but I am very busy > > tending to these two by myself!!! > > > > I have a concern I wanted to run past you all and see if anyone > has > > any ideas to offer. Initially when Josiah first > & quot;became & quot; autistic, > > at age 20 months, he had NO eye contact at all- total avoidance. > But > > then he got better in this area, to the point that he made regular > > and sustained eye contact with family and friends and even > strangers > > and doctors. Lately, I have noticed that he is resorting back to > > avoiding eye contact. I first noticed it when his little sister > > would get up close to talk to him and she would keep turning her > head > > this way and that trying to look at him (get him to look at her). > So > > then I started watching when I talked to him and how much eye > contact > > he gave me. Sad to say little to none. He listens to my > questions > > or comments and responds appropriately via lifting his arms for > yes > > or turning away for no. But the whole time I am talking to him he > > turns his head away from my face. And if I get right in front of > his > > vision (as my daughter would also try to do) he instantly jerks > his > > face to another angle to avoid eye contact. I have tried to cup > his > > face in my hands and talk very gently to him but he just continues > to > > avoid. > > > > We just today met a new OT who will be coming to our home once a > week > > by courtesy of the local Elk Lodge. She had a good first meeting > > with him, she allowed him to come to her from across the room. > And > > he did, until he was reaching out to her and ended up she put him > in > > her lap!! I was so amazed! He made very brief eye contacts > with > > her, but they were true contacts. You could see the excitement in > > his eyes to look at hers. But he could only hold it for a very > few > > split seconds before he would divert his attention from looking at > > her, to burying his face in his bean bag with a big grin on his > > face. Of course this is a far cry from the sustained eye contact > he > > could maintain just a few months ago. I wonder if any of this > could > > have to do with the fact that his father and brother moved out on > us > > and we have NO social contact with hardly anyone. They used to > come > > to visit him once every week or so, but Josiah got to the point > that > > he would just 'freak' out for the most part at the sight of > them...it > > has gotten better since speaking with a CARD autism specialist who > > told me he had to have more frequent and consistent contact from > them > > in order to improve his emotional state when he saw them. She said > at > > least (3) 30minute visits per week- every week. This hasn't been > > achieved but dh has made a better effort to at least try to spend > a > > few minutes a week with him playing in his playroom. And Praise > God > > it has helped quite a bit, but now what is the deal with how he is > > avoiding me and his sister? > > > > I don't know what to do with how he is acting towards me and his > > sister. I have also noticed when he reaches out touching me or > her, > > he is no longer looking at us in the face. He will continue to > look > > elsewhere and reach over and touch our arm/leg/whatever but not > look > > at us. At these times he is pleasant and at times jovial, but > still > > he doesn't look. He used to look right at us, and make beautiful > eye > > contact. Same thing for when he would sit on the potty, I sit on > > the tub edge, while he goes and we would 'talk', and he used to > look > > right at me, now he turns his head to one side and leans against > the > > toilet seat back and avoids facing me altogether. He will be in > his > > own world it seems. I don't think this is a privacy issue, as he > is > > exhibiting this same exact behavior anywhere we are in close > > proximity, such as rocking in a rocking chair together or when he > is > > being tube fed at the dinner table, used to he would look at me/ > or > > his sister, now he turns his head to one side and avoids. He is > not > > upset, when he does this, usually he is pleasant, humming, > jabbering, > > somewhat in his own world though and if either of us try to get > his > > attention he reacts very pointedly in avoidance. If either of us > > force the issue to get his attention he gets very upset and starts > to > > cry. > > > > Any suggestions or ideas out there??? Please. > > > > Sincerely, Lyn > > > > </tt> > > > > > <tt> > -------------------------------------------------- > > Checkout our homepage for information, bookmarks, and > photos of our kids. Share favorite bookmarks, ideas, and other > information by including them. Don't forget, messages are a > permanent record of the archives for our list. > > > --------------------------------------------</tt> > > > > > > <tt> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 20, 2002 Report Share Posted November 20, 2002 Dear Irma, Donna, , and a, Thank you all for your response regarding this problem with my son Josiah. I will take all your suggestions to heart. I am going to make a concentrated effort to be extra EXTRA positive to him in getting his attention and reinforcing when he is visually attentive. Thank you all. God bless, Sincerely, Lyn > Hi Lyn, > I'm sorry I have no wisdom regarding improving eye contact - as we have > that problem too. But I was wondering how old your son is and why is he tube > fed? Our daughter, Hannah is 5 and DS/Aut and is still tube fed her liquids > and nobody seems to know why she can't drink. I was wondering if you had any > insight on DS/Aut kids and drinking problems. > Blessings, > a > P.S. We just tell people that Hannah is Baptist - not a heavy drinker. :> ) > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 20, 2002 Report Share Posted November 20, 2002 well i use to point to bring attention to my eyes like a v over your nose pointing at your eyes, im not sure how else to describe it. I still do this and ocasionally i will lift nathan's chin so he has to look in the general direction of my eyes. Sometimes i even say nathan look at me, are you listening? Just keep trying, it sounds like you have some great starts dont give up. He may have times when he refuses to look at you but remember to ejoy the times we do exsist, even in thier line of sight. shawna. eye contact > Hello everyone, > > I have been reading, sorry I don't post much, but I am very busy > tending to these two by myself!!! > > I have a concern I wanted to run past you all and see if anyone has > any ideas to offer. Initially when Josiah first " became " autistic, > at age 20 months, he had NO eye contact at all- total avoidance. But > then he got better in this area, to the point that he made regular > and sustained eye contact with family and friends and even strangers > and doctors. Lately, I have noticed that he is resorting back to > avoiding eye contact. I first noticed it when his little sister > would get up close to talk to him and she would keep turning her head > this way and that trying to look at him (get him to look at her). So > then I started watching when I talked to him and how much eye contact > he gave me. Sad to say little to none. He listens to my questions > or comments and responds appropriately via lifting his arms for yes > or turning away for no. But the whole time I am talking to him he > turns his head away from my face. And if I get right in front of his > vision (as my daughter would also try to do) he instantly jerks his > face to another angle to avoid eye contact. I have tried to cup his > face in my hands and talk very gently to him but he just continues to > avoid. > > We just today met a new OT who will be coming to our home once a week > by courtesy of the local Elk Lodge. She had a good first meeting > with him, she allowed him to come to her from across the room. And > he did, until he was reaching out to her and ended up she put him in > her lap!! I was so amazed! He made very brief eye contacts with > her, but they were true contacts. You could see the excitement in > his eyes to look at hers. But he could only hold it for a very few > split seconds before he would divert his attention from looking at > her, to burying his face in his bean bag with a big grin on his > face. Of course this is a far cry from the sustained eye contact he > could maintain just a few months ago. I wonder if any of this could > have to do with the fact that his father and brother moved out on us > and we have NO social contact with hardly anyone. They used to come > to visit him once every week or so, but Josiah got to the point that > he would just 'freak' out for the most part at the sight of them...it > has gotten better since speaking with a CARD autism specialist who > told me he had to have more frequent and consistent contact from them > in order to improve his emotional state when he saw them. She said at > least (3) 30minute visits per week- every week. This hasn't been > achieved but dh has made a better effort to at least try to spend a > few minutes a week with him playing in his playroom. And Praise God > it has helped quite a bit, but now what is the deal with how he is > avoiding me and his sister? > > I don't know what to do with how he is acting towards me and his > sister. I have also noticed when he reaches out touching me or her, > he is no longer looking at us in the face. He will continue to look > elsewhere and reach over and touch our arm/leg/whatever but not look > at us. At these times he is pleasant and at times jovial, but still > he doesn't look. He used to look right at us, and make beautiful eye > contact. Same thing for when he would sit on the potty, I sit on > the tub edge, while he goes and we would 'talk', and he used to look > right at me, now he turns his head to one side and leans against the > toilet seat back and avoids facing me altogether. He will be in his > own world it seems. I don't think this is a privacy issue, as he is > exhibiting this same exact behavior anywhere we are in close > proximity, such as rocking in a rocking chair together or when he is > being tube fed at the dinner table, used to he would look at me/ or > his sister, now he turns his head to one side and avoids. He is not > upset, when he does this, usually he is pleasant, humming, jabbering, > somewhat in his own world though and if either of us try to get his > attention he reacts very pointedly in avoidance. If either of us > force the issue to get his attention he gets very upset and starts to > cry. > > Any suggestions or ideas out there??? Please. > > Sincerely, Lyn > > > -------------------------------------------------- > Checkout our homepage for information, bookmarks, and photos of our kids. Share favorite bookmarks, ideas, and other information by including them. Don't forget, messages are a permanent record of the archives for our list. > -------------------------------------------- > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2005 Report Share Posted October 9, 2005 I wrote: >> d) for exchanging meaningful glances in situations when that is the only >> way of communicating without disturbing or alerting others (can be both >> positive " look, isn't she smart just like I told you? " or negative " OMG, >> now she's making an ass of herself again " depending on adjoining facial >> expression); : > Am I missing out on something here? Yep. ;-) : > I do not get meaningful glances - if someone tries to do them with me I > usaully cannot figure out what they are trying to convey and generally have to ask - if I feel brave enough that is, otherwise I just ignore it since I don't understand it anyway. Well, meaningful glances is a really tricky thing and I expect most Aspies have problems with a) noticing it at all and desciphering the message. I forgot to add above that it is usually used by non-autistic people who seem to love using it in abundance and often (though not always) in a negative way (= exchanging glances that confirm what they both think of a third person about whom they have gossiped behind that person's back) to confirm their own connection at that person's expense. I can exchange glances with people I know really well but then it is usually (though not always) to confirm something positive we both see in a situation or person. And it is not often this happens at all. With people I don't know well, I often miss such signals completely. > I must admit though if I like someone in that intimate way I do like > looking in their eyes, but kind of end up lost :-) Right. Other members here have written this earlier; that looking into another person's eyes is WAY to intimate an act to want to do with just anyone. Inger P.S. I forgot to add another situation where quick eye-contact may be useful: g) for making discreet bids at high-end auctions. :-) > They way I figure it, eye-contact is to be reserved: > a) for making a quick connection every now and then just to check that > you're both still on the same page; > for emphasis when you're saying something particularly important; > c) to acknowledge someone's presence when they walk in the room; > e) in traffic to avoid accidents; > d) for exchanging meaningful glances in situations when that is the only way > of communicating without disturbing or alerting others (can be both positive > " look, isn't she smart just like I told you? " or negative " OMG, now she's > making an ass of herself again " depending on adjoining facial expression); > e) for lovers; > f) for parents with little babies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2005 Report Share Posted October 9, 2005 Ahhhhhhhhhhh I've just remembered I can do eye contact with my son and he is autistic and he gets it. Neither of overuse eye contact, but I can give him the kilo wat stare and he knows he's in trouble :-) > >> d) for exchanging meaningful glances in situations when that is the only > >> way of communicating without disturbing or alerting others (can be both > >> positive " look, isn't she smart just like I told you? " or negative " OMG, > >> now she's making an ass of herself again " depending on adjoining facial > >> expression); > > : > > Am I missing out on something here? > > Yep. ;-) > > : > > I do not get meaningful glances - if someone tries to do them with me I > > usaully cannot figure out what > they are trying to convey and generally have to ask - if I feel brave enough > that is, otherwise I just ignore it since I don't understand it anyway. > > Well, meaningful glances is a really tricky thing and I expect most Aspies > have problems with a) noticing it at all and desciphering the message. I > forgot to add above that it is usually used by non-autistic people who seem > to love using it in abundance and often (though not always) in a negative > way (= exchanging glances that confirm what they both think of a third > person about whom they have gossiped behind that person's back) to confirm > their own connection at that person's expense. > > I can exchange glances with people I know really well but then it is usually > (though not always) to confirm something positive we both see in a situation > or person. And it is not often this happens at all. > > With people I don't know well, I often miss such signals completely. > > > I must admit though if I like someone in that intimate way I do like > > looking in their eyes, but kind of end up lost :-) > > Right. Other members here have written this earlier; that looking into > another person's eyes is WAY to intimate an act to want to do with just > anyone. > > Inger > > P.S. I forgot to add another situation where quick eye-contact may be > useful: > g) for making discreet bids at high-end auctions. :-) > > > > > > > > > > They way I figure it, eye-contact is to be reserved: > > a) for making a quick connection every now and then just to check > that > > you're both still on the same page; > > for emphasis when you're saying something particularly important; > > c) to acknowledge someone's presence when they walk in the room; > > e) in traffic to avoid accidents; > > d) for exchanging meaningful glances in situations when that is the > only way > > of communicating without disturbing or alerting others (can be both > positive > > " look, isn't she smart just like I told you? " or negative " OMG, now > she's > > making an ass of herself again " depending on adjoining facial > expression); > > e) for lovers; > > f) for parents with little babies. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 LOL! " Kilowatt stare " that's hilarious! Have to put that one on my list! :-) Works on dogs too. Not sure if it works on parents? Inger Re: Eye contact Ahhhhhhhhhhh I've just remembered I can do eye contact with my son and he is autistic and he gets it. Neither of overuse eye contact, but I can give him the kilo wat stare and he knows he's in trouble :-) > >> d) for exchanging meaningful glances in situations when that is the only > >> way of communicating without disturbing or alerting others (can be both > >> positive " look, isn't she smart just like I told you? " or negative " OMG, > >> now she's making an ass of herself again " depending on adjoining facial > >> expression); > > : > > Am I missing out on something here? > > Yep. ;-) > > : > > I do not get meaningful glances - if someone tries to do them with me I > > usaully cannot figure out what > they are trying to convey and generally have to ask - if I feel brave enough > that is, otherwise I just ignore it since I don't understand it anyway. > > Well, meaningful glances is a really tricky thing and I expect most Aspies > have problems with a) noticing it at all and desciphering the message. I > forgot to add above that it is usually used by non-autistic people who seem > to love using it in abundance and often (though not always) in a negative > way (= exchanging glances that confirm what they both think of a third > person about whom they have gossiped behind that person's back) to confirm > their own connection at that person's expense. > > I can exchange glances with people I know really well but then it is usually > (though not always) to confirm something positive we both see in a situation > or person. And it is not often this happens at all. > > With people I don't know well, I often miss such signals completely. > > > I must admit though if I like someone in that intimate way I do like > > looking in their eyes, but kind of end up lost :-) > > Right. Other members here have written this earlier; that looking into > another person's eyes is WAY to intimate an act to want to do with just > anyone. > > Inger > > P.S. I forgot to add another situation where quick eye-contact may be > useful: > g) for making discreet bids at high-end auctions. :-) > > > > > > > > > > They way I figure it, eye-contact is to be reserved: > > a) for making a quick connection every now and then just to check > that > > you're both still on the same page; > > for emphasis when you're saying something particularly important; > > c) to acknowledge someone's presence when they walk in the room; > > e) in traffic to avoid accidents; > > d) for exchanging meaningful glances in situations when that is the > only way > > of communicating without disturbing or alerting others (can be both > positive > > " look, isn't she smart just like I told you? " or negative " OMG, now > she's > > making an ass of herself again " depending on adjoining facial > expression); > > e) for lovers; > > f) for parents with little babies. > FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and acceptance. Everyone is valued. Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the folder marked " Other FAM Sites. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 , Just out of curiosity, where did you develop this " kilowatt stare? " All moms have it, I think, but where does it come from? Certainly you didn't have it before you became a mom? Tom Ahhhhhhhhhhh I've just remembered I can do eye contact with my son and he is autistic and he gets it. Neither of overuse eye contact, but I can give him the kilo wat stare and he knows he's in trouble :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 Its designed to burn your soul out of existance. :-) It also works through walls and other objects. The wearing of polaroid glasses helps with this though. Evanenvironmental1st2003 <no_reply > wrote: ,Just out of curiosity, where did you develop this "kilowatt stare?"All moms have it, I think, but where does it come from? Certainly you didn't have it before you became a mom?TomAhhhhhhhhhhh I've just remembered I can do eye contact with my sonand he is autistic and he gets it. Neither of overuse eye contact,but I can give him the kilo wat stare and he knows he's in trouble :-) Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 : > Ahhhhhhhhhhh I've just remembered I can do eye contact with my son > and he is autistic and he gets it. Neither of overuse eye contact, > but I can give him the kilo wat stare and he knows he's in trouble :-) You shouldn't be surprised if you can communicate non-verbally with your autistic child. It is a mistake to think that the " dysfunctions " of non-verbal communications that manifests with *NTs* would be general. I know our family have lots of non-verbal communication, that NTs either miss altogether, or at best, observe but do not understand. I've even got this on paper ;-) Leif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 I should caution though that the kilowatt stare can be transformed into the megawatt scream when you don glasses to reflect these toxic laser stares.:-) EvanEvan Sinclair <cennis007@...> wrote: Its designed to burn your soul out of existance. :-) It also works through walls and other objects. The wearing of polaroid glasses helps with this though. Evanenvironmental1st2003 <no_reply > wrote: ,Just out of curiosity, where did you develop this "kilowatt stare?"All moms have it, I think, but where does it come from? Certainly you didn't have it before you became a mom?TomAhhhhhhhhhhh I've just remembered I can do eye contact with my sonand he is autistic and he gets it. Neither of overuse eye contact,but I can give him the kilo wat stare and he knows he's in trouble :-) Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 Errrrrrrr I did have it before I became a mum. I think it was inherited from my grandma who was well known for 'if looks could kill'. I tended to reserve the look for naughty kids and to avoid strangers sitting next to me on the bus - I think I've mellowed now though - maybe I should bring the stare back so that I can have seat to myself on bus again :-) > > Ahhhhhhhhhhh I've just remembered I can do eye contact with my son > and he is autistic and he gets it. Neither of overuse eye contact, > but I can give him the kilo wat stare and he knows he's in trouble :-) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 I'm not surprised my son and I do use non-verbal communication with one another. It does surprise me that some people assume that because someone is autistic that they cannot do non verbal communication at all. I have something that I do with my hand (a movement) which is an indicator for my son to hold my hand - and it's not just my son that picks up this clue another Aspie kept grabbing hold of my hand when I did this movement :-) not that I am complaining in those particualr cases :-) > > : > > Ahhhhhhhhhhh I've just remembered I can do eye contact with my son > > and he is autistic and he gets it. Neither of overuse eye contact, > > but I can give him the kilo wat stare and he knows he's in trouble :-) > > You shouldn't be surprised if you can communicate non-verbally > with your autistic child. It is a mistake to think that the " dysfunctions " > of non-verbal communications that manifests with *NTs* would be > general. I know our family have lots of non-verbal communication, > that NTs either miss altogether, or at best, observe but do not understand. > I've even got this on paper ;-) > > Leif > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 Hi Tom, I also have one of those stares, but I developed it before I became a mom. When I was a kid in high school I found out I could stare people down, and they would leave me alone, because I made them nervous. Its an un blinking, sort of scwinty (my spelling is terrible) but not fully and its in the blank to angry expresion of the mouth too, its sort of your whole face not just the eyes. You can perfect it in a mirror, just stare evily at yourself until you make yourself nervous. It worked great on the other kids at high school, once I got it down right they stopped bothering me, and it workes even better with Jerry. I say his name and give him, what my husband calls "the look" and he automatically corrects his behavior. Very effective technic you should give it a try. Beth environmental1st2003 <no_reply > wrote: ,Just out of curiosity, where did you develop this "kilowatt stare?"All moms have it, I think, but where does it come from? Certainly you didn't have it before you became a mom?TomAhhhhhhhhhhh I've just remembered I can do eye contact with my sonand he is autistic and he gets it. Neither of overuse eye contact,but I can give him the kilo wat stare and he knows he's in trouble :-) Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 >Beth: "Its an un blinking, sort of scwinty........"Add a bit of 'twitchy' and they'll actually back up!  Rainbow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 maYa: > actually I tried looking into the eyes of my dog one day, he first started looking really 'guilty' and then started fake-snapping at me, I think what happens in him happens in me as well when someone stares into my eyes too much.. Wild animals usually feel threatened when you stare into their eyes. They see it as you trying to dominate them, I think. Dogs seem especially uncomfortable by this and probably think you're scolding them for something. I feel the same way. :-) Inger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2006 Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 In a message dated 6/20/2006 7:17:05 PM Eastern Standard Time, no_reply writes: Do you find eye contact disrespectful?I do.TomAdministrator Sometimes. In business situations or when introduced to someone, it is considered proper etiquette to look the person in the eye when you shake hands with them. After that, I'll generally look at the other person's eyes now and then to let them know I am listening or if I have a particular point to make. Most people that know me know that if I am looking them right in the eye when telling them something, it is something I consider very important. It does get irritating though if the other person never or rarely breaks eye contact. My mother is like that. I always tell her that I hear with my ears, not my eyes so I don't have to be staring at her to hear her. Most other times, I do find it intrusive, especially someone who really stares. If I'm in public, I expect quick eye contact, sort of a way of letting people know you know they are there and to gauge intensions, works that way for both parties. But if someone keeps staring at me, I'm tempted to ask them what they heck their problem is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 Yes. Raven > > Do you find eye contact disrespectful? > > I do. > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 > > " Do you find eye contact disrespectful? " No. It feels disrespectful to me, but non-Aspies think it's disrespectful not to hold eye contact. They see it as connecting, part of communication, so they have no intention of being disrespectful, nor would even consider that someone would view it that way. Since disrespect has to be intentional, I say no. If I, an Aspie, was speaking to another Aspie, I would consider it disrespectful if I tried to hold eye contact (not that I would!) with them and they were uncomfortable. Unfortunately, non-Aspies don't know how we feel about it, since eye contact is completely different for them. Interestingly, I was sitting next to an Aspie last night and felt a connection like we were on the same wavelength. He must have felt it too because the got too much into my mental space and I felt claustrophobic and overwhelmed. Is that only because of my empathic abilities that I was able to feel that or can others feel that? Am I just used to being on another wavelength from others? The 8-year old Aspie who spends time with us makes me feel that way sometimes, too. If other Aspies could feel it, would that be disrespectful to get in someone's mental space? Or even get too close physically as we sometimes do. I know I do that sometimes if I feel comfortable with the person. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 Oh, and on another note, what about staring? I am a big starer and I'm sure other Aspies are, since we love to observe. The Aspie I was talking about that sat next to me is a huge starer. He was staring at my husband so Mike looked at him, stuck his head out closer and opened his eyes wide, like you do when you want to tell someone they are staring! I always feel like people aren't aware that I'm staring but that because I'm hyperaware I always notice/feel it. But I think they may be aware but don't acknowledge it or can dismiss it or block it out. Again, I don't think I'd stare at other Aspies, just meet eyes often because we're on the same wavelength, as I do with the Aspie father of the Aspie 21 year old guy I'm talking about here that is a starer. > > > > " Do you find eye contact disrespectful? " > > No. It feels disrespectful to me, but non-Aspies think it's > disrespectful not to hold eye contact. They see it as connecting, part > of communication, so they have no intention of being disrespectful, nor > would even consider that someone would view it that way. Since > disrespect has to be intentional, I say no. > > If I, an Aspie, was speaking to another Aspie, I would consider it > disrespectful if I tried to hold eye contact (not that I would!) with > them and they were uncomfortable. > > Unfortunately, non-Aspies don't know how we feel about it, since eye > contact is completely different for them. > > Interestingly, I was sitting next to an Aspie last night and felt a > connection like we were on the same wavelength. He must have felt it > too because the got too much into my mental space and I felt > claustrophobic and overwhelmed. Is that only because of my empathic > abilities that I was able to feel that or can others feel that? Am I > just used to being on another wavelength from others? The 8-year old > Aspie who spends time with us makes me feel that way sometimes, too. If > other Aspies could feel it, would that be disrespectful to get in > someone's mental space? Or even get too close physically as we > sometimes do. I know I do that sometimes if I feel comfortable with the > person. > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2009 Report Share Posted October 1, 2009 Hiya Can any one tell me the best supplements to improve eye contact?? Thank you X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2009 Report Share Posted October 1, 2009 > > Hiya > Can any one tell me the best supplements to improve eye contact?? > Thank you X > hello high dose vitamin a from biopureurope.com or high dose vitamin d3 from mandimart.co.uk or carlson cod liver oil is one of the purest one of these might help isobel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2009 Report Share Posted October 1, 2009 id say fish oil again - arctic sea forever living! it worked wonders for our childs eye contact - well reported to aid concentration so maybe eye contact is similar Autism Treatment From: isobelwizza@...Date: Thu, 1 Oct 2009 17:39:14 +0000Subject: Re: EYE CONTACT >> Hiya> Can any one tell me the best supplements to improve eye contact??> Thank you X>hello high dose vitamin a from biopureurope.com or high dose vitamin d3 from mandimart.co.ukor carlson cod liver oilis one of the purest one of these might helpisobel Beyond Hotmail - see what else you can do with Windows Live. Find out more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 > As he has lost many of his autism stims/behaviours I am noticing how bad his eye contact is with strangers and Grandma! > It may be his self esteem, my son switches off his eye contact when others chalenge him with something he thinks he is not good at. He is very aware of his chalanges.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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