Guest guest Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 Simple, if they ask " you want to lose more weight?? " just look at them like they are jerks and be like " Yeah. I do " and be done. You don't have to justify your weight loss to anyone... But I'm a little fiesty so there might be a nicer way to handle those comments... maybe same words, but without the glare I'm about the same size as you and I think that at this weight, people can still put us in the 'not skinny/fit' category, and when we get in great shape, all of a sudden they won't be able to do that anymore, and that's threatening... At least that's how I have felt about it. My mother is the same way, she was smaller than me until I was 19 years old and then a combination of her gaining weight and me starting to get in shape is flipping the scales around (lol, literally) and I don't think she is comfortable about not being the smallest person in the family anymore. At least that's my experience Comments from others > Hi laides, > > I¹ve gotten comments from several people in the last couple of days on how > much thinner I look. This normally would be a compliment, but I¹m getting > the feeling that people think I don¹t look good which may be my own > screwed > up body image filter. Over the last three years I¹ve gone from almost 300 > to > about 160 and everyone said how great I looked. I think folks got use to > the > new thinner me, but in the last four or five months I¹ve been easing into > the BFL way of life to tone things up and I can see my body changing even > more and I¹ve lost another 15 pounds, so I¹m about 150 pounds now. But > these > comments are becoming really frequent lately and it¹s bothering me because > people will say things like ³are you STILL losing weight?² or ³you don¹t > want to lose any more weight do you?². Now, I wear size 12 jeans and my > body > fat is somewhere between 24 and 28 (and I have the dimply thighs to prove > it > so it¹s not like I¹m some waif of a woman. I went from feeling great > about how I was looking to questioning it. My goal with starting this was > to > be fit, find the athlete in me that never got developed (corny I know) > and, > feel and look good in my skin. I¹m proud of the changes I¹ve made and I > know > I¹m soooo much healthier and fit and than I¹ve ever been and this is > something that will serve me well for a long time to come. I know this > body > image thing is tough, but I was wondering if anyone else has some insight > on > this. > > Thanks, > > Laurie San Diego > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 Laurie - In the past, I was not able to 'see' myself - to be able to evaluate this type of stuff for myself. Now, at 50, with the help of BFL and this group, I feel level-headed about what I see in the mirror and how I feel - regardless of what anyone says or doesn't say, or how they react or don't react to me. So, you've done a tremendous job on the exercise and nutrition - and are continuing to do so. Evaluate the source of the comments, and what their agendas are. Evaluate your opinion of yourself and your goals. Find one or two people who you trust and talk with them about it. Do some reading about emotional overeating and body image. Then you can decide what to tell them - probably it will be, " would you like to join me for a walk? or bike ride? or tennis - or whatever newfound athletic inclination you have. I love your comment about finding the athlete in you that never got developed - really hits home for me too. n At 04:52 PM 3/31/2006, you wrote: >Hi laides, > >I¹ve gotten comments from several people in the last couple of days on how >much thinner I look. This normally would be a compliment, but I¹m getting >the feeling that people think I don¹t look good which may be my own screwed >up body image filter. Over the last three years I¹ve gone from almost 300 to >about 160 and everyone said how great I looked. I think folks got use to the >new thinner me, but in the last four or five months I¹ve been easing into >the BFL way of life to tone things up and I can see my body changing even >more and I¹ve lost another 15 pounds, so I¹m about 150 pounds now. But these >comments are becoming really frequent lately and it¹s bothering me because >people will say things like ³are you STILL losing weight?² or ³you don¹t >want to lose any more weight do you?². Now, I wear size 12 jeans and my body >fat is somewhere between 24 and 28 (and I have the dimply thighs to prove it > so it¹s not like I¹m some waif of a woman. I went from feeling great >about how I was looking to questioning it. My goal with starting this was to >be fit, find the athlete in me that never got developed (corny I know) and, >feel and look good in my skin. I¹m proud of the changes I¹ve made and I know >I¹m soooo much healthier and fit and than I¹ve ever been and this is >something that will serve me well for a long time to come. I know this body >image thing is tough, but I was wondering if anyone else has some insight on >this. > >Thanks, > >Laurie San Diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 Laurie- Up until about 2 days ago I would have said if you are comfortable at 150 and feel good then maybe you are at your goal. BUT, I just went through some pictures of myself at that weight and compared them to where I am now. I was OVER weight at 150. The fat was right there- on my arms, my waist, my thighs, even though I was as small as I remember being as an adult. I'd told myself that because I had been up around 180 and people told me how great I looked after losing the weight that I was 'there' at 150. (that was about 7 years ago) For lots of reasons, I started a new BFL challenge on January 30th. Now, the real me is coming through. I'm at 138.5 and have 3 weeks to go in this challenge. I feel so much better than before. The fat is on its way out. Those size 12 jeans are on their way to a Boy Scout garage sale. I can't believe they used to fit. Neither can my son- he got a quite a giggle out of watching me try them on the other day. Keep going for your own goals. Become that athlete that you know is within you. YOU can do it. Ann > > Hi laides, > > I¹ve gotten comments from several people in the last couple of days on how > much thinner I look. This normally would be a compliment, but I¹m getting > the feeling that people think I don¹t look good which may be my own screwed > up body image filter. Over the last three years I¹ve gone from almost 300 to > about 160 and everyone said how great I looked. I think folks got use to the > new thinner me, but in the last four or five months I¹ve been easing into > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 <<<<, find the athlete in me that never got developed >>>> hey i love this. don't let others tell you what your goals are. you know for yourself. felicity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 I get this all the time! I just tell them I'm working on getting more toned, healthier, not really looking to lose weight. They smile and nod at that - everyone understands wanting to look better naked! I remind them that bikini season is nearly here and those little clothes are not as forgiving as these clothes that I normally wear!!! I have had a few close friends ask if I'm taking this " dieting " a little far - I seem to be always working toward some new physical goal. I have just been very honest with them - I'm not trying to be a fitness model but definately tone up what I have and feel better in a bathing suit. Hang in there! I think you have a good response " I'm trying to become more athletic! " Makes perfect sense to me. Save the numbers and details for us crazy people on a message board who love those kinds of things. We'll support you! Jami > > Hi laides, > > I¹ve gotten comments from several people in the last couple of days on how > much thinner I look. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 Jami I find this to be very strange. if you were really into model airplanes or gardening -- no one would question. felicity <<<<I have had a few close friends ask if I'm taking this " dieting " a little far - I seem to be always working toward some new physical goal. >>>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 I know Felicity! I'm 158 lbs, not exactly a tiny person! But to them I'm wasting away... At least BFL gave me a butt so I won't have to endure " no butt " comments from my family any longer. They are all large people and they say when I get skinny I lose my butt and boobs. And my uncle's girlfriend is a gym rat and has a perfect body and flashed it around in a bikini so they don't blab about me anymore! Yay! My best friend ever is very supportive of my goals. The ones I described are work friends. > > Jami > I find this to be very strange. if you were really into model > airplanes or gardening -- no one would question. > felicity > <<<<I have had a few close friends ask if I'm taking this " dieting " a > little far - I seem to be always working toward some new physical > goal. >>>> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 Laurie, I think what you are experiencing is the same imageing problems that we often have with ourselves. It isn't that you are too thin...it is that THEIR image of you has not yet caught up to the new you. At first you were just loosing weight. That's great, everyone can get behihnd that...you looked like YOU, just smaller all around. Now you are changing yourself in ways that just don't fit in with their historic image of you. Don't worry about it. After a time they will get your new look into their minds and not still expect to see the old you when you enter the room. Barbara > > Hi laides, > > I¹ve gotten comments from several people in the last couple of days on how > much thinner I look. This normally would be a compliment, but I¹m getting > the feeling that people think I don¹t look good which may be my own screwed > up body image filter. Over the last three years I¹ve gone from almost 300 to > about 160 and everyone said how great I looked. I think folks got use to the > new thinner me, but in the last four or five months I¹ve been easing into > the BFL way of life to tone things up and I can see my body changing even > more and I¹ve lost another 15 pounds, so I¹m about 150 pounds now. But these > comments are becoming really frequent lately and it¹s bothering me because > people will say things like ³are you STILL losing weight?² or ³you don¹t > want to lose any more weight do you?². Now, I wear size 12 jeans and my body > fat is somewhere between 24 and 28 (and I have the dimply thighs to prove it > so it¹s not like I¹m some waif of a woman. I went from feeling great > about how I was looking to questioning it. My goal with starting this was to > be fit, find the athlete in me that never got developed (corny I know) and, > feel and look good in my skin. I¹m proud of the changes I¹ve made and I know > I¹m soooo much healthier and fit and than I¹ve ever been and this is > something that will serve me well for a long time to come. I know this body > image thing is tough, but I was wondering if anyone else has some insight on > this. > > Thanks, > > Laurie San Diego > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 I, too, get the " are you still on diet? " questions. or the " have you started a new diet? " question. I just tell them no, I've set a goal to run a 5K, I'm trying to learn how to do pull-ups, or, I've got a new bike and just riding all the time... the changes are just the by product of that. I'm not trying to lose weight. That are fully accepting of those " excuses " and move away. Debra > > Hi laides, > > I¹ve gotten comments from several people in the last couple of days on how > much thinner I look. This normally would be a compliment, but I¹m getting > the feeling that people think I don¹t look good which may be my own > screwed > up body image filter. Over the last three years I¹ve gone from almost 300 > to > about 160 and everyone said how great I looked. I think folks got use to > the > new thinner me, but in the last four or five months I¹ve been easing into > the BFL way of life to tone things up and I can see my body changing even > more and I¹ve lost another 15 pounds, so I¹m about 150 pounds now. But > these > comments are becoming really frequent lately and it¹s bothering me because > people will say things like ³are you STILL losing weight?² or ³you don¹t > want to lose any more weight do you?². Now, I wear size 12 jeans and my > body > fat is somewhere between 24 and 28 (and I have the dimply thighs to prove > it > so it¹s not like I¹m some waif of a woman. I went from feeling great > about how I was looking to questioning it. My goal with starting this was > to > be fit, find the athlete in me that never got developed (corny I know) > and, > feel and look good in my skin. I¹m proud of the changes I¹ve made and I > know > I¹m soooo much healthier and fit and than I¹ve ever been and this is > something that will serve me well for a long time to come. I know this > body > image thing is tough, but I was wondering if anyone else has some insight > on > this. > > Thanks, > > Laurie San Diego > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 Doing pull ups (even one) is one of my goals as well and I¹ve been kicking around the idea of doing a 5k too! Those are great suggestions and I¹ll try them out! - Laurie On 4/1/06 6:12 AM, " Debra Cooley " <me.onlybetter@...> wrote: > I just tell them no, I've set a goal to run a 5K, I'm trying to learn how to > do pull-ups, or, I've got a new bike and just riding all the time... the > changes are just the by product of that. I'm not trying to lose weight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.