Anyone live in the NW Milwaukee/Shorewood WI area?

January 16, 2009

Its getting terribly lonely here for me, my fiance lives in KY and I

have only two good friends in the entire state that I dont c much,

but talk to them on the phone.

Its gotten to the point where I've been thinking abt " cheating " on my

fiance due to the lonliness. I love him with all my heart and soul,

and want to marry him: if I hadnt wanted it I wouldntve said yes.

I just lost a dear friend becuz I introduced her to my ex, and

discovered I still had feelings for him, however small they were. I

know now that it wasnt much, becuz of the way I have been treated by

both of them- I have been lied to, deceived, and bs'ed thru this

whole thing.

Basically I was stupid enuf to sorta ask him to be with me, cuz I am

lonely, and miss my fiance so much. But then I foujnd out I was

decieved and finally told that him and my " friend " loved each other "

and were " together " . They hadnt even met or known each other 36 hrs.

So becuz of the autism (high funct) I was on a topsy turvy tailspin,

unsure of what to do. I dfidnt know which end was up.

But I guess God's trying to work thru me, cuz I still love her to

pieces as a friend, no matter what she has ever done to me. She

walked all over me at times, and I let her, not being willing to let

go.

I just wish she was stromg enuf to let God work thru her, becuz then

we could start over. But then, we always fight, and make up, and

we've called each other some pretty bad names. I dont want that in my

life. I want a friend thats honest and caring, someone who wont one

day stab me in the back.

I would like someone to actually understand me, someone to respect

me, and care abt me no matter what happens in the friendship. I've

been pooped on too many times by ppl, I cant take it anymore.

If anyone wants to talk, my Y! msgr is

The_Bear_Family88@... and my email is

TheBearFamily88@...

Thanx for listening.

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