gabe update day 23

[Guest guest]

well gabe had his pft on thursday and since it was unimproved they

decided that they will do a bronchoscopy on tuesday. they will have

to do it in the o.r. they don't feel it is safe to sedate him in the

sedation unit since his lung function has declined. each day is

getting harder and harder. i can see the difference in him. at

times he is pale, sweaty and purple underneath the eyes. he is

unable to be active because he gets out of breath easily. i knew

eventually his health would decline, i just didn't think it would be

this soon. i am so affraid of losing him. if they don't find

anything in the bronchoscopy that they can treat what will become of

him? he has declined so much so quickly what will he be like a few

months from now? i keep thinking of that song by tammy cochran,

angels in waiting. i think it is a great song. it used to bring me

some comfort but now i can't help but to think i am not ready for my

angel to get his wings. i know there are others out there going thru

this to and your messages of support mean the world to me. from my

online support groups to my friends and the hospital staff, everyone

has been wonderful. it is just that i hurt so much inside. everytime

he coughs, grunts, sniffles or gasps my heart sinks. please keep the

good thoughts coming our way and i will update again when there is

more to report. and hopefully next time it will be with some good

news.

evelyn