/are our kids happy?

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In a message dated 2/7/02 9:08:30 PM Eastern Standard Time, ginageena@...

writes:

> New York and the doctor asked me a question

> that just through me for a loop he asked me is Tara happy? and of course I

> looked at him like he had twelve heads like of course she's happy. But as

> I

> was leaving the office I started to wonder is Tara happy? She laughs she

> and

> I communicate well but is she really happy in her state of mind? I was

> wondering if anyone felt the same? I guess I need reassurance.

>

> HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!

Hmmmmm.......I've never had a doc ask me that. About any of my 5 kids.

But it's surely an interesting question. I'll tell you , for a long

time after Maddie was born, I struggled with not being able to envision

exactly what went on in her mind. One thing I have always tried to do with

my other 4 kids was to try to get inside their minds; to try to empathize and

feel what they were feeling as best I could so I could be the best Mom I

could. At first, I figured she must have thoughts in pictures, then I

thought she must just behave reactively (which I didn't like thinking that at

all). Her dx of autism has actually helped me so much in this area. When

I read and learned all I could about the condition, it was so much easier to

understand her. Now I feel like I know her so well; in a way better than my

other 4 kids!! Is she happy? I believe so!! She's extremely happy when

she's got Barney on, or is being swung in the air through Daddy's legs, or

when she is playing in the tub, or going for a walk with Mom, or wrestling

with *big* (LOL) sister Allie, or climbing big brother Joe or Bren, or

getting tickled by big sister , or rubbing Muggsie's head. I know she

is not happy when we go to church, or when she has a doc appt, or when we

walk into a restaurant or a grocery store. There's tons of NOT Happys.

But we work on those and try to give her more happys than nots!!! The

biggest thing is to turn those *not happys* into acceptances.

Hope this helps .

Donna