Re: sneaking and siblings

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/30/01 7:31:50 AM Central Standard Time,

writes:

>

> id like some info on this one too, nathan can also be

> a " sneaker " usually its for food or some item he knows

> he shouldnt have, at lest i think he knows sometimes i

> wonder if it is ALL getting across, then ofcourse

> hitting or hurting his brother as soon as we arnt

> looking too, i thinkhe knows he will get in trouble,

> if we see it anywyas. Im almost ready to go and buy

> those camera/tv baby monitors ive seen, but where

> would i put the monitors???? hmmmm. yesterday i put

> him in time out for 5minutes, he screamed but just

> briefly and then just sat there sulking until the

> timer went beep beep beep, lol, then he came out and

> found his toy and was quiet for a short while. then i

> took the boys out, shopping hitting some of the major

> mark down clearance sales you know her ein town, and

> to just get them out of the house for awhile,

> tolerated the store, he got a pop, and nic got some

> more paint, but nathan kept hitting nic the poor

> little guy, in the car when i went into gas station he

> smacked nics face and then started beating him ont he

> head, then in the parking lot at pamida, he kept

> socking him in the back or shoulder, so i had to stand

> in between them. nic is going to look like a battered

> child by the time school starts up again, 5days and

> counting uuugh. sorry soo long ill stop here, shawna.

>

> =====

> shawna

>

You guys aren't going to like my solution. is rarely out of my sight. I

have a 13 month old and (almost 13 years, ds and asd). I have an ABA

program for and if one of his therapists aren't here then he is

expected to be within my sight. It is sometimes restricting for him but safe.

We have now gotten to the point where he can be in the basement playroom

listening to music but I'm in the kitchen at the top of the stairs. I check

him every few minutes.

He is also to the point where he can sit in the family room and watch a video

with me watching from the dining room table but he never roams the house

without supervision.

If he is in his room and I can hear him bouncing on his bed then I know

things are OK but if it is quiet I insist on the door open.

When I need to change the baby then comes with. If I use the bathroom

then he sits in the hallway and waits for me.

Yes, I love it when my ABA therapists come and when schools starts again.

Actually this vacation has been pretty good so far.

oh, yeah, he is never alone with the baby. If they are in the car at the gas

station gets out and helps me with the pump. More like I hold onto him

while I pump gas. I love pay at the pump gas stations. We also put a half

door on the baby's room with a lock so doesn't have access to that

room. At night of course there is a motion detector outside of 's door.

The baby's high chair also has wheels on it so I can bring him into the

kitchen with me if I have to leave the table for something.

Karyn

[Guest guest]

Hi Guys,

Sneaking is actually a typical phase of childhood development. Having

five kids, I've seen enough of it. Duff and I have always taken the same

approach his parents took, and that was to be very careful NOT to accuse

them. If you actually see the deed being done, that's different naturally.

But to accuse and berate, in our opinion, can be very shameful and

degrading. Of course, you can't let them get away with stuff all the time,

they'd never learn consequences. And it's often a fine line between

choosing the course of discipline to take and whether or not you let

soemthing go. All that being said, dealing with our kids with DS and autism

and sneaking is certainly a whole nother ball game. At least it sure is with

Maddie. When Maddie sneaks soap (she has pica) or candles or even one of

her dirty diapers, it can be not only gross, but quite dangerous to her.

Like Karyn, we do watch Maddie all the time. If she is in the tv room by

herself, we are checking on her every few minutes. Also, there are certain

rooms she's in that we know are ok and others where we have to stay with her

the entire time. We have built contraptions to keep her from climbing and

falling, but she is quite industrious, and so we keep a VERY close watch on

her. I understand your take a, with trying to help them establish

independence. Believe me, as a mom I have shut my eyes many times rather

than give in to my fears. I think you have to know your child. You may

have to do some parental spying (I'm queen of htis.....;-) You want them

to gain independence and to learn from their mistakes, but you also want to

protect them from hurting themselves. Maddie is nowhere near ready for

that kind of independence and so requires constant supervision. Someone in

this house ALWAYS knows where she is and if we can't find her for those mere

5 seconds, we ALL go into a panic!!!

DOnna

[Guest guest]

wow karen, you really keep david under raps! i use to

be with nathan every waking moment and often what

sleeping we cold get him to do too. But he is 10 and i

have been trying to teach him a little privacy,and

interviene hopefuly a little appropriate independence.

he use to come inthe bathroom even with me every time.

If i needed to shower, he would sit in the bathroom

with his handfull of toys and play queitly. sometimes

he still does this but wehre do I draw the line? He is

becoming a big boy fast, a few more summers and he

will be a teenager uuuugh. i still watch him and check

on him frequently when he goes to his room or activity

room to play, especially outside i make him play where

i can see him. This spring We are going to ask about

possibiltity of putting up a fence for him and the

dog. always wants to be " side " (outside) he asks

many times a day, and i usually let him at least once

unless its raining. shawna.

=====

shawna

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

> You guys aren't going to like my solution.

Karyn , we are challengers and enjoy reading everybodys suggestions

and stories . So thanks for posting yours , its always great to read

what has worked for you or what trials .

> is rarely out of my sight.

Same here . I've always been an over-protective mom . Just knowing

, I too, am glued to his every move . This latter part of this

year , I am able to do more and he has accomplish more and is now

telling me to " go over there or get up " meaning he wants to be

alone . Yeah ! right , so now I'm sneaking around his every move .

> I have a 13 month old and (almost 13 years, ds and asd). I

have an ABA program for and if one of his therapists aren't

here then he is expected to be within my sight. It is sometimes

restricting for him but safe.

Its nice to read you have a nice ABA Program that is working for

and the family , especially with a baby around . : ) Keep up

the good job .

Irma, 13,DS/ASD.

[Guest guest]

Very well said. I've learned about that during

class, and also on my own when I've watched children-

and too see what kind of parenting style I am.

--- duffey48@... wrote:

> Hi Guys,

> Sneaking is actually a typical phase of childhood

> development. Having

> five kids, I've seen enough of it. Duff and I have

> always taken the same

> approach his parents took, and that was to be very

> careful NOT to accuse

> them. If you actually see the deed being done,

> that's different naturally.

> But to accuse and berate, in our opinion, can be

> very shameful and

> degrading. Of course, you can't let them get away

> with stuff all the time,

> they'd never learn consequences. And it's often a

> fine line between

> choosing the course of discipline to take and

> whether or not you let

> soemthing go. All that being said, dealing with

> our kids with DS and autism

> and sneaking is certainly a whole nother ball game.

> At least it sure is with

> Maddie. When Maddie sneaks soap (she has pica)

> or candles or even one of

> her dirty diapers, it can be not only gross, but

> quite dangerous to her.

> Like Karyn, we do watch Maddie all the time. If

> she is in the tv room by

> herself, we are checking on her every few minutes.

> Also, there are certain

> rooms she's in that we know are ok and others where

> we have to stay with her

> the entire time. We have built contraptions to

> keep her from climbing and

> falling, but she is quite industrious, and so we

> keep a VERY close watch on

> her. I understand your take a, with trying to

> help them establish

> independence. Believe me, as a mom I have shut my

> eyes many times rather

> than give in to my fears. I think you have to know

> your child. You may

> have to do some parental spying (I'm queen of

> htis.....;-) You want them

> to gain independence and to learn from their

> mistakes, but you also want to

> protect them from hurting themselves. Maddie is

> nowhere near ready for

> that kind of independence and so requires constant

> supervision. Someone in

> this house ALWAYS knows where she is and if we can't

> find her for those mere

> 5 seconds, we ALL go into a panic!!!

> DOnna

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/30/01 3:48:05 PM Pacific Standard Time,

writes:

<< I think you have to know your child. You may

have to do some parental spying (I'm queen of htis.....;-) You want them

to gain independence and to learn from their mistakes, but you also want to

protect them from hurting themselves. Maddie is nowhere near ready for

that kind of independence and so requires constant supervision. Someone in

this house ALWAYS knows where she is and if we can't find her for those mere

5 seconds, we ALL go into a panic!!!

DOnna

I have been working very hard on being able to go outside by himself.

He is now allowed to go outside and swing (before winter hit) but I was

inside watching and when he got off then he had to come in.

Now he gets to pull his sled around the house but I'm sure that anyone in the

house watching me would think I've lost my mind. I'm following him window to

window until he comes in. Just can't be trusted yet.

Karyn

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/3/02 8:32:49 AM Pacific Standard Time,

writes:

> Karyn,

> I MORE than understand. Maddie absolutely CAN'T be outside by herself

> EVER!!! First of all, she licks hte car tires (goes right for them the

> second she's out there). Eats dirt and grass (she has pica). Tries to

> run

> into the street immediately (she is very intrigued by the contrast of color

>

> between the sidewalk and street). All kids are different and I do long

> for

> the day when we don't have these kinds of worries.

> Donna

>

is almost 13 years old now but how I remember him trying to crawl out

of the car windows when he was 8, spraying my entire kitchen with the sprayer

from the sink when I didn't wake to the motion detector.That blast of cold

water in the face at 5 a.m. when I rounded the corner sure took care of

needing any sleep. LOL. He has changed a lot thank my lucky stars and a lot

of people along the way.

The only pica that is still around in any great degree is eating coins. He

thinks he is a piggy bank. It was a great relief when he finally quit eating

the sand in the sand box. Now we can actually go to the beach.

Of course, he has the skill to ride a bike with training wheels but I don't

dare let him loose or he wouldn't come back.

Life is interesting.

Now if we can get a good handle on that tactile sensitivity I'd be gleeful.

(already tried brushing and SI).

Karyn

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/4/02 8:29:45 PM Pacific Standard Time,

writes:

> ROTFLOL Karyn!!!! Hey, he may bring you wealth some day!!!! LOLOL

> Donna

>

>

Yes Donna but I don't know that I want to find wealth in those places LOL

Karyn