Re: Ian and Pathfinder

[Guest guest]

CK,

what a hard thing to do but what a wonderful Mom you are! What can we do to

help the time go by easier?

Carol

TrishasMom

She isn't typical, She's Trisha

<A HREF= " http://empoweringyouths.homestead.com/index.html " >EmpoweringYouths</A>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/7/2001 7:44:20 PM EST, ckc@... writes:

<< This is truly the most difficult thing I have ever gone through, and that

includes the deaths of my father and best friend. >>

CK: I know exactly what you mean I was widowed and had lost my grandmother

who was closer to me than my own mother but nothing was as devastating as

walking away from the treatment center. I am not a person who can cry but

once I started I couldn't stop then I slept for days whether it was catch up

or depression. You don't need to hear right now how it gets better no matter

what anyone tells you so I'm not going. I will tell you that in order for

you to help in his program you need to take care of you in ways you couldn't

when he was home. Then your head will be clearer to participate in planning

for Ian.

Peggy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/7/01 5:44:08 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

ckc@... writes:

<< Hi,

He's there now. We took him on Wednesday >>

Oh CK. SOB SOB SOB :-( My neck is all wet from the tears. How

unbelievably brave and strong you are. Big, big prayers for you tonight. I

can't understand what you are going through, because it hurts too much to

even think about it for a second. I hope if or when it's my turn to be so

dedicated, I will be able to take the stab to my heart and do what is best

for Seth. Please know that you have lots of us Moms crying with you tonight.

(((((hugs)))))

Gail :-(

[Guest guest]

Hi CK

God Bless you and your family!!My son attends a school for autistic

children.

There are about 20-24 students right now and 18 of them live there. The

smaller

ones go home on the weekends, once in a while, depending on the parents

schedule.

Stay strong - my heart breaks for you knowing how you feel at this moment.

We

always want the best for our children - being a parent is one of the hardest

and most

rewarding jobs I have ever had!!!I admire you for your courage and strength

to make

a decision for Ian's future!

" For everything there is a season! "

Beginning a journey is the hardest part!!

When you visit Ian, please let us know how many new friends he has and other

favorites

of his. Keep in touch!!

Kathy

Ian and Pathfinder

> Hi,

>

> He's there now. We took him on Wednesday, spent some time with him

getting

> his stuff unpacked and his room in order, showing him where his things are

> and all his new things. Then we walked with him to the school, where he

met

> his teacher and his four classmates. It was almost lunchtime, and they

were

> breaking to walk over to the dining hall. Ian didn't want to go, because

he

> knew that's when we would say goodbye. We walked with him part of the

way,

> but when we passed his house, he ran into it. We went in to say goodbye

to

> him there, and left.

>

> I cried all the way home. I cried all night. They told us that the first

> night would be the worst, and it was. In the middle of the night, I went

to

> his room and wrapped myself in his blanket, just so I could smell his

smell,

> and I sobbed. The next day, I kept myself very busy, but when I wasn't

> busy, I couldn't think of anything but him.

>

> We've spoken with his aide, his house manager, the social worker, the

> teacher, the principal, over the course of these two days. He's okay.

He's

> had some sad times, mostly at night, but he's participating, he's

behaving,

> he's eating, he's talking. So far, so good. I've sent him email and a

> package, and I get to see him on October 4th.

>

> This is truly the most difficult thing I have ever gone through, and that

> includes the deaths of my father and best friend. I have to keep telling

> myself that this is the best opportunity for *him*, and that my pain isn't

> as important as his future. I'm a grownup, and I can deal with it. Isn't

> this what parents do -- put themselves out to benefit their children?

>

> Two days down, 27 to go.

>

> CK,

> Mom to Ian (2/89),

> (9/90),

> and Rose (6/94)

>

>

>

> --------------------------------------------------

> Checkout our homepage for information, bookmarks, and photos

of our kids. Share favorite bookmarks, ideas, and other information by

including them. Don't forget, messages are a permanent record of the

archives for our list.

> --------------------------------------------

>

>

[Guest guest]

CK,

I must say, I am sobbing for you right now.

How difficult this must be, I just cant' imagine.

Prayers are going out for you and your family, that you have peace, and

that Ian can work through the problems he is having, and perhaps join you

at home again.

Prayers and {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} for you and your

family.

Love

S

________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Ck?

Would Ian like to collect post cards from all your friends who are cheering

him on? Just a thought. We represent many states here. A postcard every now

and then telling him some message you tell us would be good for him to hear

(your mom is tells us how proud she is of you) might be fun? Or is that

making it worse?

j

[Guest guest]

CK,

I'm so sorry honey!!!! Sorry that this is so difficult and painful.

Sorry that you and your family have to go through this. But not sorry that

you did it. You are very brave and doing what is best for Ian. You're a

fantastic, loving Mom. I think it will get better for you over time. It

did for my cousin and his wife. PLEASE let us know if there is something

more tangible that we can do to help you get through this awful time!!!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Donna

[Guest guest]

Thank you to you all for your continued empathy and support. You have all

made this experience -- difficult as it is -- far easier than it could have

been.

CK,

Mom to Ian (2/89),

(9/90),

and Rose (6/94)

[Guest guest]

Ck,

Many Blessings your way as this was a difficult decision . Having a

challenged child can multiply the stresses on a family . It takes ,

prayers, planning, and work . " How do we meet the needs of both our

challenged child and our other children ? " A question we always ask

when times are rough . You found a solution for Ian , may all go well

at the Pathfinder , hugs to you . Hoping to hear some good report on

Ian adjusting . We are here to listen , make sure you share news of

how it turned out for Ian . Take care .

Irma , 13,DS/ASD.

-- In @y..., " CK " <ckc@r...> wrote:

> Thank you to you all for your continued empathy and support. You

have all

> made this experience -- difficult as it is -- far easier than it

could have

> been.

>

> CK,

> Mom to Ian (2/89),

> (9/90),

> and Rose (6/94)

[Guest guest]

I cried all the way home. I cried all night. CK>

Hi, Everyone....I have hundreds of letters to catch up on, but this caught my

eye. CK.....my heart goes out to you. I cried, too, just reading your letter.

I sure hope things work out...keep us informed.

Margaret

[Guest guest]

OH ck im in tears reading your email, i just cant

imagine life without my nathan guy. HUGE virtual hugs

and prayers that the next 27days go by quickly, i

know you must feel as if snailing through. shawna.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

CK,

Your a great MOM!! I cried all day too after reading your post.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 8 DS-?

[Guest guest]

Yep, I've learned and read about that. Having a

special child can put a lot of stress on the parents

and families of the child. Your abousetly right. It

takes a lot of time of the parents, teachers, etc. to

help the child accend in life and be a good person in

the future.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Your welcome, I'm glad that I could make you

happier though your difficult times. Anytime.

--- CK <ckc@...> wrote:

> Thank you to you all for your continued empathy and

> support. You have all

> made this experience -- difficult as it is -- far

> easier than it could have

> been.

>

> CK,

> Mom to Ian (2/89),

> (9/90),

> and Rose (6/94)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm hearing good things about Ian's transition to Pathfinder. The first few

days were hairy for him, with Ian crying every night and wanting us to come

back. He did have some episodes of balking, but they waited him out. He's

now cooperating, interacting with the other kids, eating regularly, going to

sleep when everyone else does (this was a major battle for us), waking up on

time and getting ready eagerly. From what I hear, this Ian is unlike the

Ian who lived here, and I'm eager to see him in his new behavioral coat.

Three weeks and counting,

CK,

Mom to Ian (2/89),

(9/90),

and Rose (6/94)

[Guest guest]

> Would Ian like to collect post cards from all your friends who are

cheering

> him on?

I haven't forgotten this, but I was thinking about it, and then the

terrorist strike happened, and I got distracted.

I think it might be a wonderful thing for him, as long as he wasn't

overwhelmed by it. If everyone sent a card right away, he'd be confused

(and then further confused when the cards stopped, because you know they

will -- that's just life). If they could somehow be paced, I think he'd

love it.

What do you think?

CK

[Guest guest]

>What can we do to help the time go by easier?

I don't know what more can be done. It is going by very slowly. But I

thank you for the thought. And I suppose, relatively speaking, my troubles

don't seem very great right now.

CK

[Guest guest]

Hi CK,

Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and Ian.

Hugs,

Debbie - NY

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/14/01 6:26:43 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

ckc@... writes:

> I'm hearing good things about Ian's transition to Pathfinder.

That's good news CK. I hope and pray it continues, for his sake as well as

for yours. Keep us posted when you can, and know that we are thinking of

you.

Donna

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/14/01 8:51:11 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

ckc@... writes:

> And I suppose, relatively speaking, my troubles

> don't seem very great right now.

Yes, CK. Seems every single person who has not lost a loved one feels the

same way, no matter what's on your plate.

DOnna

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/14/01 8:49:59 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

ckc@... writes:

> What do you think?

>

> CK

>

WE'll do whatever you think best CK. We can work out a schedule so that

someone sends a card/note every week. I don't know how Ian is, but my kids

just adore getting mail. You could also ask staff to hold the mail and

give it to him piecemeal, ya know??

Donna

[Guest guest]

I will too ck, sounds great ian is adjusting soo well. shawna.

Re: Re: Ian and Pathfinder

In a message dated 9/14/01 6:26:43 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

ckc@... writes:

> I'm hearing good things about Ian's transition to Pathfinder.

That's good news CK. I hope and pray it continues, for his sake as well as

for yours. Keep us posted when you can, and know that we are thinking of

you.

Donna

[Guest guest]

I think I'm going to take you up on your offer to send postcards to Ian. I

think he'd really like it. It doesn't matter when or how often or if, I'm

just grateful to those of you who could do it.

His address is Ian , Pathfinder Village, 3 Chenango Road, Edmeston

NY 13335.

Thank you for all your warm wishes and support. This has been a tough day

for me. I miss him very, very much today, worse today than it's been. I'll

be seeing him next week, and the days are creeping by very slowly.

Thanks, CK

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/26/01 2:16:29 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

ckc@... writes:

<< I think I'm going to take you up on your offer to send postcards to Ian. I

think he'd really like it. It doesn't matter when or how often or if, I'm

just grateful to those of you who could do it.

His address is Ian , Pathfinder Village, 3 Chenango Road, Edmeston

NY 13335.

Thank you for all your warm wishes and support. This has been a tough day

for me. I miss him very, very much today, worse today than it's been. I'll

be seeing him next week, and the days are creeping by very slowly.

Thanks, CK >>

Sorry CK :-( How is the rest of the family doing with it CK? Will be

praying the time flies by for you and that we hear an update soon.

(((((hugs)))))

Gail

[Guest guest]

At 04:56 PM 9/26/01 -0400, you wrote:

>I think I'm going to take you up on your offer to send postcards to Ian. I

>think he'd really like it. It doesn't matter when or how often or if, I'm

>just grateful to those of you who could do it.

Done!

I have another young adult I send post cards to on a regular basis. He

collects them and organizes them by states and countries. I'll send Ian one

whenever I send one to .

j