Re: I was blackmailed

[Guest guest]

<P> Gail, Have you checked with the county? has

had an advocate who will be with him to age 21.She has

gone to several iep meetings and has been a tremendous

help to us thru the last 9 years. Does ny have

something like that ? & nbsp; it may be state not county

but every child has their own advocate from birth to

twenty one.Carole

<P> & nbsp; <B><I>smilinggail@...</I></B> wrote:

<BLOCKQUOTE style= " BORDER-LEFT: #1010ff 2px solid;

MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px " ><TT>In a message

dated 8/29/01 5:25:03 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

<BR>carole9545@... writes:<BR><BR> & lt; & lt; & nbsp;

Hi Gail,When was in pre-school his mom talked to

the teacher about <BR>him having a one to one aide and

she was in agreement that it was needed. <BR>They went

to the iep meeting and she did not back her up at all

..Talk about <BR>stunned! Worse yet when his daily

notebook came home she had ripped out the <BR>pages

where they had talked about it in the notebook.That

was the first iep <BR>that did not get signed .I am

sorry you are going through this & nbsp; ,just take

<BR>all this great advice, study the law and go get

" em.They will back down once <BR>they know that YOU

know they are in the wrong. Good luck. Carole

& gt; & gt;<BR>Oh that is AWFUL!!!!! & nbsp; I think that's

the worst. & nbsp; To be let down like that by <BR>a

person you trust. & nbsp; I thought 3 of the people at

that meeting were friends <BR>watching out for Seth's

and my rights and welfare. & nbsp; I wouldn't want

anyone to <BR>jeopardize their job, but they should

say they won't back you when push comes <BR>to shove,

not let you believe they will back you up. & nbsp; I'm

just not a fighter <BR>and would love to take Terry's

advice and hire an advocate. & nbsp; I don't like to

<BR>get emotional because I just sit there and cry and

get mad. & nbsp; Tho' true to my <BR>name, I am usually

smiling the whole time. & nbsp; What a jelly fish I

am. & nbsp; If <BR>anyone has some extra backbone I'll

pay the shipping! & nbsp; LOL<BR>Gail<BR></TT><BR><!--

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[Guest guest]

I feel sorry for y'alls troubles with aides, iep's

etc. for the school with your child. I hope all goes

and gets better for y'all, and Donna that was good for

you to get a break and walk for ice cream.

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/29/01 9:08:31 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

smilinggail@... writes:

> I don't like to

> get emotional because I just sit there and cry and get mad. Tho' true to

> my

> name, I am usually smiling the whole time. What a jelly fish I am. If

> anyone has some extra backbone I'll pay the shipping! LOL

Oh Gail!!! YOU can do this too!! Trust me!!! Bring a recorder and use it

(if you can...some places you can't). Bring another person with you. If

you can't afford an advocate or get one for free, bring your hubby or a

friend. Don't be the ONLY one in there with the same frame of mind. Have

a support person with you. Bring a nice large sized picture of Seth (framed

preferably). Put it in the middle of the table as a REMINDER to all there

that HE is what this is all about. And tell them that. " I'm putting

Seth's picture here to remind us why we're all here. " Even if you're

recording the meeting, bring a pen and notepad with you. Doesn't matter if

you write nothing but jibberish in it; it gives you time to collect your

thoughts and remain in control of your emotions (sorta like what cigarettes

do for some people) Another tip Gail. Always let the person speaking

finish their sentence. This shows control. If you must, write down the

OFFENSIVE words the person said, so that when you respond to them, you can

keep looking at them to give you the fight you need. The other thing GAil,

it's ok if you cry. Don't berate yourself. Just collect yourself and come

back into focus. I did get teary eyed at Maddie's towards the end, but it

was good timing. We had been back and forth for hours and they needed to

see what MY investment was in this. What they did to you was not only

devious and wrong, it's ILLEGAL!!!!!

Donna

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/29/01 10:37:41 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

smilinggail@... writes:

> Gosh Carole, I never thought of his advocate. She has never done school

> stuff with us, but I guess I can ask and if she doesn't feel she can do it,

> maybe she can help get someone for me. Thanks!!!!

> Gail

Gail,

Even people from your local support groups are good to accompany you. I

went on a couple myself, just for support. It's just helpful to have

someone in your corner there.

Donna

[Guest guest]

yes we do, nathan's casemanager is also like his

advocate, she attends his meetings and gets his IEP's

etc, and will let me know if the school is doing

something wrong, and also helps me get what we need

too, whether its school or health, respite, scl, etc.

has had one since a baby, granted our last one

was horrible and she left office ( I think it was our

doings)but she was horrible at her job. Our new one is

awesome, and so far doing a great job. Also, I think

most AEA type settings also have and advocate type

persnon you can get, but ive always thought it would

be a conflict of interest to go that route, never

tried though. And there are also many advocate type

groups out there, JUst got to find them. shawna.

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