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In a message dated 8/28/01 6:33:39 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

outerspace@... writes:

<< Gail,

Did you get copies of the papers you signed??

No, I never got a copy of that.

Maybe his teacher did not know

that the papers you signed were considered to be his " IEP " (I hope that is

true)

I really hope that is the case, because she is the only one I trusted

If that agreement is considered to be his IEP I would ask for another IEP

immediately

and make sure you document this and then notify them that you want to look

at the

school records and papers in the file and I would contact the state's

Special Ed dept

to file a grievance(so you will have the situation documented and on record)

just in case.

I have requested a review and the head of SpEd told me it was noted and that

she would like to meet with me alone. I didn't read the paper I signed

because they all told me it was just to secure a place in the program so it

wouldn't be full in the fall. I don't know who I am more upset with, me for

being SO SO SO stupid, his teacher that I trusted or the team for deceiving

me like that.

Let me know, and I will try to help you as much as I can!!!

Hang in there!!

Kathy >>

Thanks so much Kathy! I will call and ask to see his records and the paper

that I signed.

Gail

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Gail,

First of all, you can request a new IEP meeting at any time according to

IDEA. Secondly, you can file a Compliance Complaint with the State Dept. of

Education and the Federal Office of Education because they didn't explain

what they were having you sign. I would write a letter to the School

District with a copy to the Principal and the teacher informing them of your

intent to file a Compliance Complaint within ten days if the situation isn't

brought into compliance with State/Federal guidelines according to the Law

(IDEA). I'm thinking you might be able to file a 504 Complaint with the

Office of Civil Rights (OCR), but I need to research that a little more.

Tell them that you want a new IEP scheduled during that period of time. Then

get ready to tell them exactly you think he needs and why you aren't happy

with the placement and/or services that are currently in place. I think you

will be surprised at how " compliant " they might be in a hurry!

Terry

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Gail,

Did you get copies of the papers you signed?? Maybe his teacher did not know

that the papers you signed were considered to be his " IEP " (I hope that is

true)

If that agreement is considered to be his IEP I would ask for another IEP

immediately

and make sure you document this and then notify them that you want to look

at the

school records and papers in the file and I would contact the state's

Special Ed dept

to file a grievance(so you will have the situation documented and on record)

just in case.

Let me know, and I will try to help you as much as I can!!!

Hang in there!!

Kathy

I was blackmailed

> Oh my God! They screwed me royally! I called the head of Spec Ed today

to

> asked what was going on with Seth's IEP and that they would have to follow

> his old IEP until a new one was designed, because I never signed the new

IEP.

> She said that I did sign it and it was effective. I told her the only

thing

> I signed was an agreement to hold a spot in the autism program for Seth

> incase I decided to send him to school. She said that WAS his IEP!!!!!!!!

> I don't believe this! They all told me I needed to sign that paper or he

> would be shut out of the program. No one ever said it was his IEP. I

told

> them no about 5 times. Even the parent rep told me I needed to sign it to

> secure his place in the program. And his teacher that I trusted. I don't

> believe this. Can they do that? How can I sign something I have never

seen?

> They never sent me a copy of the IEP until 2 months after the meeting.

> This isn't right! I think I am most upset that I trusted his teacher and

> she was part of the railroading.

> Gail- who isn't smiling tonight

>

>

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Oh, Gail!

I'm so so, sorry for what has happened to you. I think the worst of all

of this is that YOU feel so violated by people you think you can trust!

Then they just walk all over you!

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but all I can offer you is a

virtual hug. {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}.

Prayers for all involved,

________________________________________________________________

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In a message dated 8/28/01 9:22:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

smilinggail@... writes:

> I told her the only thing

> I signed was an agreement to hold a spot in the autism program for Seth

> incase I decided to send him to school. She said that WAS his IEP!!!!!!!!

>

> I don't believe this! They all told me I needed to sign that paper or he

> would be shut out of the program. No one ever said it was his IEP. I told

> them no about 5 times. Even the parent rep told me I needed to sign it to

> secure his place in the program.

Oh Gail. I'm sorry. I agree with Terry. File a complaint immediately

and request a new IEP meeting pronto!! How devious they are, aren't

they?!?!? I knew someone who requested a meeting and didn't want it called

an IEP meeting, because she was so afraid of this very type thing. They are

SO dense!!! They had long winded arguments with her about WHY it

constituted an IEP. She finally agreed to call it that, but refused to sign

anything!! Even that first paper that says you were AT the meeting!!

And always read everything; even fine print!!! If it didn't say Individual

Education Plan on it, I don't see HOW they can call it that. Do you have a

copy of the actual documents you signed??? You should, and pull them out

and read all. And go to battle over this one Gail. Ooooh, it makes me

seethe!!!

Donna

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In a message dated 8/28/01 9:50:07 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

smilinggail@... writes:

> No, I never got a copy of that.

>

Call and immediately get one Gail. Tell them to fax it to you if you have

to. It should be in Seth's file, and you have every right to see all that's

in there. If I were you, I'd march in there and demand a copy of it.

This is one of those times you wish you had a tape recorder going!!

<<I really hope that is the case, because she is the only one I trusted>>

I suppose it's possible that she was hoodwinked too Gail.

<< I didn't read the paper I signed

because they all told me it was just to secure a place in the program so it

wouldn't be full in the fall. I don't know who I am more upset with, me for

being SO SO SO stupid, his teacher that I trusted or the team for deceiving

me like that.>>

Hindsight is 20/20 Gail. You went in there a trustworthy parent. THEY are

the ones to be dealt with. Sure you can learn from this, but go after them.

This is deceitful.

Donna

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In a message dated 8/29/01 5:37:42 AM Pacific Daylight Time, duffey48@...

writes:

<< Call and immediately get one Gail. Tell them to fax it to you if you

have

to. It should be in Seth's file, and you have every right to see all

that's

in there. If I were you, I'd march in there and demand a copy of it.

This is one of those times you wish you had a tape recorder going!!

>>

Donna,

I went and got a copy of it today. I don't believe this, but I never

check-marked the box that's checked. It is checked that I agree to the IEP

plans that were discussed that day. The other box says I don't agree to

program. I know I didn't check ANY boxes that day, and it is not even the

way I make check marks. They can't legally do that can they? Well, they

got me anyway. Said that if I rescinded it, Seth could not attend school, so

I had to agree to it and put in for a review. Guess I will be going to

school with him for 3 hours a day until his review. Maybe this is a good

thing in that I can see exactly what needs to be changed and why. I was told

if I hadn't agreed to it that the classes are full and Seth would have been

on a waiting list. I'm really angry that someone decided to check that box

for me. If I had the opportunity to chose one of the boxes, I would have

known that I was agreeing to his IEP and wouldn't have signed it. I would

have told them I wanted a written copy first. I guess this is what I will be

dealing with if he stays in school. I really don't think I want to deal

with these cheats anymore. Even for Seth's sake. I asked where his psych

eval was as there wasn't a copy in his file. The eval was done in May and

hasn't been printed up yet they said. Ummmm, I'm one day late with the girls

reports and they are on the phone asking where it is. LOL I hate this school

district. Thanks for the advice :-) I will never attend another meeting

without a tape recorder for sure.

Gail

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In a message dated 8/29/01 8:27:24 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

mashawnag@... writes:

<< Oh gail, Im so sorry this happened, with trusted poeple no less. I will

pray

that things get corrected truthfully.

shawna >>

Thanks a. :-) Am I the only one that didn't know *program* means IEP?

Gail

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Gail,

I haven't read all the responses yet to your problem, so someone may have

already told you this. The School District absolutely cannot prevent Seth

from attending school in the event you don't sign the IEP. His plan reverts

back to the previously signed IEP, that's all. They are taking advantage of

you and you have a case for both Due Process AND a Compliance Complaint. No

District wants to deal with a Compliance Complaint...it is a real black mark

on them. You need to let them know that you DO know the Law and are aware of

your rights.

Terry

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In a message dated 8/29/01 11:48:10 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

smilinggail@... writes:

> It is checked that I agree to the IEP

> plans that were discussed that day. The other box says I don't agree to

> program. I know I didn't check ANY boxes that day, and it is not even the

> way I make check marks. They can't legally do that can they?

NO!! They can't. And they can't keep Seth out of school. They are

handing you yet another lie. Personally, I wouldn't believe a word they

said. Even about the psych eval. Gail, go in and get Seth's file and tell

them you want a copy of everything in it. I've done this at the doc's

office; I'm sure you can do the same at school. I'd even call the psych

himself/herself and ask for the report. If it's not done, get em on that

one too. I'm sure there's a deadline for handing those in. I got Maddie's

one week later. The school was mailed the report first and I bugged them so

much, they faxed it to me the same day they got it.

Oh, and GAil??? Have YOU gone for YOUR walk today?????? ;-) {{{{hugs}}}}

Donna

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Oh gail, Im so sorry this happened, with trusted poeple no less. I will pray

that things get corrected truthfully.

shawna

>From: smilinggail@...

>Reply-

>

>Subject: I was blackmailed

>Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2001 21:16:57 EDT

>

>Oh my God! They screwed me royally! I called the head of Spec Ed today

>to

>asked what was going on with Seth's IEP and that they would have to follow

>his old IEP until a new one was designed, because I never signed the new

>IEP.

> She said that I did sign it and it was effective. I told her the only

>thing

>I signed was an agreement to hold a spot in the autism program for Seth

>incase I decided to send him to school. She said that WAS his IEP!!!!!!!!

>I don't believe this! They all told me I needed to sign that paper or he

>would be shut out of the program. No one ever said it was his IEP. I told

>them no about 5 times. Even the parent rep told me I needed to sign it to

>secure his place in the program. And his teacher that I trusted. I don't

>believe this. Can they do that? How can I sign something I have never

>seen?

> They never sent me a copy of the IEP until 2 months after the meeting.

>This isn't right! I think I am most upset that I trusted his teacher and

>she was part of the railroading.

>Gail- who isn't smiling tonight

_________________________________________________________________

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Hi Gail ,

Just wanted to wish you luck with your issue . Always a never ending

challenge . I agree with what others have mentioned . Sounds like the

school is not respecting a Parents Rights . Do not blame yourself

because you trusted them , we learn by our mistakes . If you do not

have a copy , it should be on file . The school should remember its

for your child's Education and stop beating around the bush and stop

wasting time as you need answers NOW . They should listen to you .

Request for another IEP , its your rights . Remember that IEP's must

be indivdually to meet the childs needs . Prayers that it will go

your way for your child's sake .

Reminder sites :

www.edlaw.net

SpecialEdLaw.net

http://www.Irecoalition.org/definitions.php3

http://www.Irecoalition.org/laws.php3

http://at-advocacy.phillynews.com/data/staespedlaw.html

http://web.nysed.gov/vesid/sped/spedmain.html

http://www.advocacycenter.com/resources.htm

http://www.familyvoices.org/stateinfo.html

Well, I hope something helps . Its just a few to review . Ok , gotta

go back into writing to Congress and State Legislators on 2 Bills

needed to pass which will allow tax credits for education and

training for " developmentally disabled children " . If anyone is

interested http://www.cureautismnow.org/ . under new Political Action

Alert . Oops! g2g , need to listen to First Lady Bush &

President Bush , they are discussing about some issues on Education ,

plus other . So, we have Presidential visit going on in our city at

this time . Good Luck Gail !

Irma , 13,DS/ASD.

> Oh my God! They screwed me royally! I called the head of Spec Ed

today to

> asked what was going on with Seth's IEP and that they would have to

follow

> his old IEP until a new one was designed, because I never signed

the new IEP.

> She said that I did sign it and it was effective. I told her the

only thing

> I signed was an agreement to hold a spot in the autism program for

Seth

> incase I decided to send him to school. She said that WAS his

IEP!!!!!!!!

> I don't believe this! They all told me I needed to sign that paper

or he

> would be shut out of the program. No one ever said it was his

IEP. I told

> them no about 5 times. Even the parent rep told me I needed to

sign it to

> secure his place in the program. And his teacher that I trusted.

I don't

> believe this. Can they do that? How can I sign something I have

never seen?

> They never sent me a copy of the IEP until 2 months after the

meeting.

> This isn't right! I think I am most upset that I trusted his

teacher and

> she was part of the railroading.

> Gail- who isn't smiling tonight

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In a message dated 8/29/01 9:00:50 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

Imaddenmom@... writes:

<< Gail,

I haven't read all the responses yet to your problem, so someone may have

already told you this. The School District absolutely cannot prevent Seth

from attending school in the event you don't sign the IEP. His plan reverts

back to the previously signed IEP, that's all. They are taking advantage of

you and you have a case for both Due Process AND a Compliance Complaint. No

District wants to deal with a Compliance Complaint...it is a real black mark

on them. You need to let them know that you DO know the Law and are aware

of

your rights.

Terry >>

Terry,

I was so irate when I saw that box checked that I called the head of sp ed

today. ( I thought the lady that checked it FOR me was a friend) I told her

I wanted his IEP rescinded or I was going to file a grievance and she said

fine, she would reclined it and said Seth was out of program. I said, what

does that mean, and she said he can't go to school. So I said leave it then.

I don't understand their double talk at all. I thought program was the

BOCES Autism classes. She said it is what they teach and if I don't agree to

program, then I don't agree to having him go to school. Does that make any

sense? Am I missing something here? Guess I'm dumber than I thought. I

thought I was too smart to get into a mess like this. Well, I refuse to just

hand them my kid and let them do what they want with him. She also told me

that she will only let the IEP meeting last no more than 45 minutes. So,

that means that if things aren't settled in that amount of time, we have to

reschedule for another 30 days each time. This sounds like a real fun year!

So no matter what, they can play this game all year with the IEP as it

stands. They will just keep making the meeting go over and not get anything

changed. How do parents do this stuff year after year? As much as I love

Seth and want what's best for him, I'm not willing to risk my health and my

families well being by being in this upset state every year. I know I will

pray a lot more when I see someone else post this kind of problem, because

now I know what they are talking about. Thanks for all the help Teri. :-)

Oh, where are you going on vacation?

Gail

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In a message dated 8/29/01 9:39:07 AM Pacific Daylight Time, paul.3@...

writes:

<< Gail- do you live in Dunkirk? Where there's been the environmetnal

issues? If that's where you are, just a little sidebar- your mayor lived

across the street from my family for years- I babysat their kids when I was

10 and 11 years old.

Anyway, please give yourself some time to breather through all of this.

This is so awful to get the rug pulled out from under you. I have had a few

calls from friends these last few days before school starts and there are

similar stories here. I don't understand people's thinking- it's like there

is a conspiracy to just make our lives as miserable as possible. >>

No, Beth. I live in Elmira where the high school kids get cancer and

bring 42 bombs to school. LOL Nice, nice district! LOL We make CNN all

the time! LOL I'm so angry right now that I don't even dare go to the store

as I might blow. You're right, I need to go soak in the tub or take a walk.

Poor kids have gotten no attention today as I have been going over all his

records that I went and got. I guess they can only do this to me if I allow

them to. I'm not good at fighting like this, but I guess I have to sharpen

my claws and start seeking the weapons I need to defend Seth's rights. Wish

one of the rights was not to be deceived and tormented like this! LOL

Thanks

Gail :-)

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We have something called the rights of virginians with disabilities here,

check where you are and see if they have that as well. Call them, you have a

case in more ways than that school realizes. Did you explain what the " I " in

IEP stands for? How can they demand that your child follow their program or

can't be in the school unless it's a private school. They can not refuse him

an education and they also can't tell you how long your IEP meeting can last

nor can they make you wait 30 days to have another one. I had 6 IEP meeting

all within one month. These people are trying to intimidate you, don't let

them. You can get the special ed laws online, I'd suggest printing them out,

read over them and highlight anything pertaining to your child, then take

them in and show them where they are in violation. Next you need to call the

school board in your area and let them know of your problems.

Carol

TrishasMom

She isn't typical, She's Trisha

EmpoweringYouths

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Gail- do you live in Dunkirk? Where there's been the environmetnal issues? If

that's where you are, just a little sidebar- your mayor lived across the street

from my family for years- I babysat their kids when I was 10 and 11 years old.

Anyway, please give yourself some time to breather through all of this. This is

so awful to get the rug pulled out from under you. I have had a few calls from

friends these last few days before school starts and there are similar stories

here. I don't understand people's thinking- it's like there is a conspiracy to

just make our lives as miserable as possible.

But don't let them suck out your lifeblood either. I encourage you to do

whatever you can to be good to yourself and not spend all day every day sitting

in anger. You keep doing all you need to do to make sure Seth has what he

needs, but you also then do something that's helpful for YOU.

Blessings,

Beth Mum to Ben age 11

PS. I just went for my walk. This is what I am vowing to do this school year.

Thanks for the little reminder, Donna!!!

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In a message dated 8/29/01 11:56:16 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

duffey48@... writes:

<< NO!! They can't. And they can't keep Seth out of school. They are

handing you yet another lie. Personally, I wouldn't believe a word they

said. Even about the psych eval. Gail, go in and get Seth's file and

tell

them you want a copy of everything in it. I've done this at the doc's

office; I'm sure you can do the same at school. I'd even call the psych

himself/herself and ask for the report. If it's not done, get em on that

one too. I'm sure there's a deadline for handing those in. >>

Hi Donna,

I asked the psych for the report 2 times already. I asked again today.

Personally, I think I should take in a communication book and spell it out in

pictures so they can understand. LOL Okay, going for MY walk to the ice

cream store! LOL

Gail

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In a message dated 8/28/01 7:33:27 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

stolzfamily@... writes:

<< I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but all I can offer you is a

virtual hug. {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}.

Prayers for all involved,

_________ >>

Oh thanks...I'll take it! Glad it was a big one :-)

Gail

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Hi Gail...

Boy, what a mess! OK....1) no they can't stop him from attending school.

The worst scenario (depending on how you feel about it) is that he would

return to last year's placement and services 2) She absolutely cannot limit

the time for the IEP development for punitive reasons (ie. you don't agree

with the IEP) and say that you have to wait another 30 days. She will be out

of compliance with Federal regulations as to IEP timeline if she does that.

Sounds to me like you really need a professional Advocate to go with you. Do

you have an office for Protection & Advocacy locally? What about your State

or County services? Do they provide for someone to accompany you to the IEP

as your Advocate? There are people who do advocacy as a business for parents

but, at least here in CA, they are VERY expensive and not covered under State

services. I most certainly will help you any way I can. I am an Advocate

and I am familiar with the Federal Law. We are leaving on vacation on

Friday, 8/31 and are not planning to be back until Sat. 9/9. Of course, that

is our " plan " but may change that! LOL If I get back earlier, I

will let you know. If you want to talk to me before I leave, I think I

already gave you my number...if not, let me know and I will email it to you.

I would definitely recommend that before you attend another IEP, you get all

of the paperwork together from the last " IEP " and copies of any assessments,

etc. that were used to develop it. You need to have a " plan " yourself BEFORE

you go. I would also write a letter to the school district and let them know

that you intend to file formal complaints with respect to their violations of

your Special Education Rights! Once they know that YOU know the Law, I think

their attitude toward you will change.

Hang in there, Gail. You will get through this and you will know more the

next time! If you need help filing the Complaints and/or Due Process or what

to write in the lettes, I am here for you.

Terry

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.........Wish one of the rights was not to be deceived and tormented like

this! LOL

Thanks

Gail :-)

Gail,

That IS one of your rights under IDEA!!! The thing is with stuff like this,

it takes a while to sort out, but if you make up your mind that you will not

let them get away with it and follow your legal recourse provided under the

Law, you will prevail! They count on parents getting so frustrated because

they don't see an " immediate " solution and so they think there is no solution

at all and ultimately give up. That is NOT the case. Let them know that you

are there to stay, you are angry, and they aren't going to LIKE you when

you're angry!! LOL. I laugh through tears of frustration, but I mean it!!

Terry

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In a message dated 8/29/01 5:25:03 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

carole9545@... writes:

<< Hi Gail,When was in pre-school his mom talked to the teacher about

him having a one to one aide and she was in agreement that it was needed.

They went to the iep meeting and she did not back her up at all .Talk about

stunned! Worse yet when his daily notebook came home she had ripped out the

pages where they had talked about it in the notebook.That was the first iep

that did not get signed .I am sorry you are going through this ,just take

all this great advice, study the law and go get " em.They will back down once

they know that YOU know they are in the wrong. Good luck. Carole >>

Oh that is AWFUL!!!!! I think that's the worst. To be let down like that by

a person you trust. I thought 3 of the people at that meeting were friends

watching out for Seth's and my rights and welfare. I wouldn't want anyone to

jeopardize their job, but they should say they won't back you when push comes

to shove, not let you believe they will back you up. I'm just not a fighter

and would love to take Terry's advice and hire an advocate. I don't like to

get emotional because I just sit there and cry and get mad. Tho' true to my

name, I am usually smiling the whole time. What a jelly fish I am. If

anyone has some extra backbone I'll pay the shipping! LOL

Gail

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Your welcome Gail ,

I did goof on some sites, if you had tried glancing at them .

http://www.lrecoalition.org/definitions.php3

http://www.lrecoalition.org/laws.php3

htpp://at-advocacy.phillynews.com/data/statespedlaw.html

http://www.ed.gov/offices/OSERS/OSEP/IEP_ Guide

Once again , Good Luck ! Whew ! They are really trying your

patience . Yes , Its time to sharpen those claws . Hope you did get a

breather . Take Care .

Irma , 13,DS/ASD.

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In a message dated 8/29/01 6:25:04 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

carole9545@... writes:

<< Gail, Have you checked with the county? has

had an advocate who will be with him to age 21.She has

gone to several iep meetings and has been a tremendous

help to us thru the last 9 years. Does ny have

something like that ? it may be state not county

but every child has their own advocate from birth to

twenty one.Carole >>

Gosh Carole, I never thought of his advocate. She has never done school

stuff with us, but I guess I can ask and if she doesn't feel she can do it,

maybe she can help get someone for me. Thanks!!!!

Gail

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Hi Gail,When was in pre-school his mom talked to the teacher about him

having a one to one aide and she was in agreement that it was needed. They went

to the iep meeting and she did not back her up at all .Talk about stunned! Worse

yet when his daily notebook came home she had ripped out the pages where they

had talked about it in the notebook.That was the first iep that did not get

signed .I am sorry you are going through this ,just take all this great advice,

study the law and go get " em.They will back down once they know that YOU know

they are in the wrong. Good luck. Carole

mashawna g <mashawnag@...> wrote: Oh gail, Im so sorry this happened,

with trusted poeple no less. I will pray

that things get corrected truthfully.

shawna

>From: smilinggail@...

>Reply-

>

>Subject: I was blackmailed

>Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2001 21:16:57 EDT

>

>Oh my God! They screwed me royally! I called the head of Spec Ed today

>to

>asked what was going on with Seth's IEP and that they would have to follow

>his old IEP until a new one was designed, because I never signed the new

>IEP.

> She said that I did sign it and it was effective. I told her the only

>thing

>I signed was an agreement to hold a spot in the autism program for Seth

>incase I decided to send him to school. She said that WAS his IEP!!!!!!!!

>I don't believe this! They all told me I needed to sign that paper or he

>would be shut out of the program. No one ever said it was his IEP. I told

>them no about 5 times. Even the parent rep told me I needed to sign it to

>secure his place in the program. And his teacher that I trusted. I don't

>believe this. Can they do that? How can I sign something I have never

>seen?

> They never sent me a copy of the IEP until 2 months after the meeting.

>This isn't right! I think I am most upset that I trusted his teacher and

>she was part of the railroading.

>Gail- who isn't smiling tonight

_________________________________________________________________

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