Re: My autistic, 10 yr. old son, tried to save a life

[Guest guest]

Judy, What a wonderful thing for your son to do! You must be extremely proud. I

have a

question, though. Where in the hell was this little boy's parents? I can't

understand this

how this sort of thing happens, unless you are in a situation that so many of us

are in

where your child is a wanderer. Even then, no parent should let their child out

of sight at

that age!!

As for your question regarding what to tell your son, that is a tough one.

Especially after

trying so hard to help someone. I don't know what I would do in your situation.

When my

granparents died (and their cat), I told my kids, and tried to explain it in a

way they could

understand. I still don't think they fully grasp such an abstract concept as

death. But your

situation is different. Sorry I can't be of more help.

>

> July in Tennessee gets pretty hot, so today we went looking for

> relief at a local lake. My son was shell hunting, diving & digging,

> with his mask & snorkle. I saw him come up for air, not with a hand

> full of shells, but with a young boy, 4 or 5 years old. He was trying

> to hold the boy up & get the attention of some near by adults. I ran

> to him & he said " I saw him under water, he was under too long so I

> brought him up for some air. " I took him to shore, fortunatly there

> was another person trained in CPR,(I'm a nurse) & we began trying to

> get him back.

> My daughter ran to the car & call 911 while dozens of adults JUST

> STOOD THERE & DID NOTHING. After 10 min. of CPR, we still couldn't

> get a pulse, EMS came.... we went to the hospital as soon as we could

> gather up our things.

> The little fella didn't make it.

> The local police officer wanted to get a statement from us. My son,

> God bless him, told them that he saw the boy under water, & he'd been

> under " long enough " so he pulled him up for air. Then he told the

> officer that as soon as the boy was better they needed to get him

> some swim lessons.

> The officer was very kind, she realized, after speaking to my boy,

> that he was having a difficult time expressing himself. She took him

> by the shoulders & told him he was a hero & that he should be very

> proud of himself for acting quickly to help this child.

>

> Should I tell my son that the boy died? How do I explain that even

> though he tried, we were too late?

> jbb

>

[Guest guest]

They were on the shore, paying zero attention to their kids. When

they saw my daughter running for her phone & me with full CPR in

progress, they realized it was their child.

When we arrived at the hospital, the boy's mom ran over to thank me.

I don't think she understood that her son was gone. He'd been down

for 30 to 40 min. by that time.

I don't thimk there is anything to be gained by telling my son that

the child died. I'm going to leave it where it is.

My boy did the right thing, he's a hero.

jbb

> >

> > July in Tennessee gets pretty hot, so today we went looking for

> > relief at a local lake. My son was shell hunting, diving &

digging,

> > with his mask & snorkle. I saw him come up for air, not with a

hand

> > full of shells, but with a young boy, 4 or 5 years old. He was

trying

> > to hold the boy up & get the attention of some near by adults. I

ran

> > to him & he said " I saw him under water, he was under too long so

I

> > brought him up for some air. " I took him to shore, fortunatly

there

> > was another person trained in CPR,(I'm a nurse) & we began trying

to

> > get him back.

> > My daughter ran to the car & call 911 while dozens of adults JUST

> > STOOD THERE & DID NOTHING. After 10 min. of CPR, we still

couldn't

> > get a pulse, EMS came.... we went to the hospital as soon as we

could

> > gather up our things.

> > The little fella didn't make it.

> > The local police officer wanted to get a statement from us. My

son,

> > God bless him, told them that he saw the boy under water, & he'd

been

> > under " long enough " so he pulled him up for air. Then he told the

> > officer that as soon as the boy was better they needed to get him

> > some swim lessons.

> > The officer was very kind, she realized, after speaking to my

boy,

> > that he was having a difficult time expressing himself. She took

him

> > by the shoulders & told him he was a hero & that he should be

very

> > proud of himself for acting quickly to help this child.

> >

> > Should I tell my son that the boy died? How do I explain that

even

> > though he tried, we were too late?

> > jbb

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My God, Judy, how horrible! God bless your son and you for doing all you could.

I can only

imagine the grief that child's parents must be feeling now. I wonder what

happened?

Death is a part of life, and I don't think your son needs to be sheltered from

the truth of what

happened. Just tell him like the policeman did that he was very brave and heroic

for trying to

save the boy, but that GOD took him to heaven before he found him under the

water...

So sorry this happened. I'll say a prayer for the boy's family...

>

> July in Tennessee gets pretty hot, so today we went looking for

> relief at a local lake. My son was shell hunting, diving & digging,

> with his mask & snorkle. I saw him come up for air, not with a hand

> full of shells, but with a young boy, 4 or 5 years old. He was trying

> to hold the boy up & get the attention of some near by adults. I ran

> to him & he said " I saw him under water, he was under too long so I

> brought him up for some air. " I took him to shore, fortunatly there

> was another person trained in CPR,(I'm a nurse) & we began trying to

> get him back.

> My daughter ran to the car & call 911 while dozens of adults JUST

> STOOD THERE & DID NOTHING. After 10 min. of CPR, we still couldn't

> get a pulse, EMS came.... we went to the hospital as soon as we could

> gather up our things.

> The little fella didn't make it.

> The local police officer wanted to get a statement from us. My son,

> God bless him, told them that he saw the boy under water, & he'd been

> under " long enough " so he pulled him up for air. Then he told the

> officer that as soon as the boy was better they needed to get him

> some swim lessons.

> The officer was very kind, she realized, after speaking to my boy,

> that he was having a difficult time expressing himself. She took him

> by the shoulders & told him he was a hero & that he should be very

> proud of himself for acting quickly to help this child.

>

> Should I tell my son that the boy died? How do I explain that even

> though he tried, we were too late?

> jbb

>

[Guest guest]

Just heartbreaking. You are BOTH heroes and I hope that EVERYONE there today

learned a

valuable lesson about watching their children while in the water!

> > >

> > > July in Tennessee gets pretty hot, so today we went looking for

> > > relief at a local lake. My son was shell hunting, diving &

> digging,

> > > with his mask & snorkle. I saw him come up for air, not with a

> hand

> > > full of shells, but with a young boy, 4 or 5 years old. He was

> trying

> > > to hold the boy up & get the attention of some near by adults. I

> ran

> > > to him & he said " I saw him under water, he was under too long so

> I

> > > brought him up for some air. " I took him to shore, fortunatly

> there

> > > was another person trained in CPR,(I'm a nurse) & we began trying

> to

> > > get him back.

> > > My daughter ran to the car & call 911 while dozens of adults JUST

> > > STOOD THERE & DID NOTHING. After 10 min. of CPR, we still

> couldn't

> > > get a pulse, EMS came.... we went to the hospital as soon as we

> could

> > > gather up our things.

> > > The little fella didn't make it.

> > > The local police officer wanted to get a statement from us. My

> son,

> > > God bless him, told them that he saw the boy under water, & he'd

> been

> > > under " long enough " so he pulled him up for air. Then he told the

> > > officer that as soon as the boy was better they needed to get him

> > > some swim lessons.

> > > The officer was very kind, she realized, after speaking to my

> boy,

> > > that he was having a difficult time expressing himself. She took

> him

> > > by the shoulders & told him he was a hero & that he should be

> very

> > > proud of himself for acting quickly to help this child.

> > >

> > > Should I tell my son that the boy died? How do I explain that

> even

> > > though he tried, we were too late?

> > > jbb

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, what a great kid! I'm so sorry it ended so tragically.

Debi

[Guest guest]

Re: My autistic, 10 yr. old son, tried to save a life

Judy, What a wonderful thing for your son to do! You must be extremely proud. I

have a

question, though. Where in the hell was this little boy's parents? I can't

understand this

how this sort of thing happens, unless you are in a situation that so many of us

are in

where your child is a wanderer. Even then, no parent should let their child out

of sight at

that age!!

As for your question regarding what to tell your son, that is a tough one.

Especially after

trying so hard to help someone. I don

[Guest guest]

Oh Judy...I don't know how to respond except to say that you have the

best kid in the world. How dare anyone say that our ASD kids have very

limited if any feelings toward others. How bittersweet, that such a

couragous act on your son's part was in reality, the worst tragedy

that this child's parents will ever live through.

I don't know what your son's cpabilities are, but if he is savy to

reading newspapers, listening to the news or he is in tune to adult

conversation, he will probably find out for himself that this litte

boy died. If you don't think that this will happen, then I see no

reason to tell him anymore.

Please give your son a huge hug for me and tell him I will say a

prayer for him. We are all proud!!!!

-Trish

[Guest guest]

Of course only you know how much your son does and does not

understand, but he might take the news of the boys death as casually

and calmly as he did pulling the boy up from the depths of the water.

Tuesday will be the one year anniversary of my brother's death from

cancer and my daughter sort of watched him going the last year and

especially the last couple of months. When he died she didn't react

quite like I expected, it just didn't have the impact it should have,

but she has talked about it a lot over the last year...sometimes too

much, telling store employees etc. " My Mom's brother died and it's

really sad " . She often says that it is sad for Aunt and sad for

her Mommy, but I haven't heard her say it is sad for her.

I think it is often difficult for us when dealing with our children,

even those of us with pretty much recovered kids, that for some things

they still don't grasp the reality or meaning of some situations,

almost a naivete or imaturity of response. On one hand I didn't want

my daughter devastated by her Uncle's death, on the otherhand an

almost nonchalance about it can be as disturbing.

Even in typical children it is 9 or 10 years old before they

understand the true meaning and finality of death. But, like

everything with our kids, your own gut instinct is the best measure.

Go with that, whether you tell your son or not.

So sorry you had to experience that, so glad there are people like you

out there.

Kendra

[Guest guest]

You're whole family's incredible and your son is amazing. It's very

sad that you were all forced to witness this though.

I imagine some children have a natural buffer against death and that

others don't and it can be a matter of timing. If your instincts

tell you not to share the aftermath and if there's a way to avoid

it, then sparing your son is probably the right decision. I've seen

similar things hit too deep and sustained a note for kids older than

your son. The circumstances are particularly horrifying in the

situation you went through. Life has a way of unavoidably serving up

reality anyway- there may be other, maybe less horrifying and

haunting " teachable moments " later.

It's certainly important that the adults learn from these things

though: our town finally, finally got lifeguards on all its beaches

after an incident like the one you described. At last I'm able to

bring our three year old twins to the beach on my own.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

> > >

> > > July in Tennessee gets pretty hot, so today we went looking

for

> > > relief at a local lake. My son was shell hunting, diving &

> digging,

> > > with his mask & snorkle. I saw him come up for air, not with a

> hand

> > > full of shells, but with a young boy, 4 or 5 years old. He was

> trying

> > > to hold the boy up & get the attention of some near by adults.

I

> ran

> > > to him & he said " I saw him under water, he was under too long

so

> I

> > > brought him up for some air. " I took him to shore, fortunatly

> there

> > > was another person trained in CPR,(I'm a nurse) & we began

trying

> to

> > > get him back.

> > > My daughter ran to the car & call 911 while dozens of adults

JUST

> > > STOOD THERE & DID NOTHING. After 10 min. of CPR, we still

> couldn't

> > > get a pulse, EMS came.... we went to the hospital as soon as

we

> could

> > > gather up our things.

> > > The little fella didn't make it.

> > > The local police officer wanted to get a statement from us. My

> son,

> > > God bless him, told them that he saw the boy under water, &

he'd

> been

> > > under " long enough " so he pulled him up for air. Then he told

the

> > > officer that as soon as the boy was better they needed to get

him

> > > some swim lessons.

> > > The officer was very kind, she realized, after speaking to my

> boy,

> > > that he was having a difficult time expressing himself. She

took

> him

> > > by the shoulders & told him he was a hero & that he should be

> very

> > > proud of himself for acting quickly to help this child.

> > >

> > > Should I tell my son that the boy died? How do I explain that

> even

> > > though he tried, we were too late?

> > > jbb

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My father died when I was 11. NO ONE wanted to talk to me about it. I

can remember people at the funeral home telling my older brothers how

sorry they were & looking at me & walking away. It took me about 9 yrs

and finally a good therapist to overcome it. I felt like no one would

be honest with me and felt I couldn't trust people because of it.

I think kids understand at very young ages when they're allowed to

experience it. My daughter's best friend lost her dad when she was 12

mos old. By age 3 she understood exactly what it meant because she

would ask about him all the time. She understood it meant Daddy is

gone and never coming back. A very sad time.

Every person is different, but no one is guaranteed a tomorrow. I

think if we don't let our kids experience those more casual deaths

then we haven't prepared them for the deaths of those close to them.

We're the only nation I know of that treats death so weird. Death is a

part of life and kids can deal with it far better than we think, IMO.

Debi

[Guest guest]

I can't see ANY reason to tell him. You run the risk that he is

horrified by it and carries guilt and shame for years.

>

[Guest guest]

Judy, you need to commend your son! He did something absolutely amazing, i.e. trying to save another child's life. It is unfortunate that the other child did not survive, but discussing what happened could help reinforce some valuable life lessons with your own son. Some years back, one of my own sons was distraught to learn that a classmate of his, one of his few friends at the time, had perished in the Air Egypt disaster. My son was in Junior Kindergarten when this occurred, and he was still relatively non-verbal at the time, so it was not easy to explain what had happened to his classmate, even though he seemed to understand the ugly outcome to some degree. Please do your best to reassure your son that his efforts were appreciated by others. Earlier, this spring, my eleven-year-old daughter happened to be alone at my mother's house when one of my mother's varicose veins ruptured and began bleeding profusely. My daughter did her best to try and stop

the bleeding, but she was not successful. Later, when my dad arrived back home, she was the one to call 911 and relay messages to my dad re what to do. She was likely instrumental in helping save my mom's life that day, but unfortunately, my daughter did not see it that way herself. She was knocking herself for being "late" to respond to her grandmother's calls for help. She imagined, in her own head, that her granny had been calling her for some time before she responded. That was not the case, as my mother had not even realized she was bleeding so profusely until she had noticed a puddle of blood on the floor. So, whatever you do, please reassure your son that he did the "right thing", even if it did not work out well for the other child. That will also give you an opportunity to discuss some important safety lessons with him. Aasajudyblondblue

<judy@...> wrote: July in Tennessee gets pretty hot, so today we went looking for relief at a local lake. My son was shell hunting, diving & digging, with his mask & snorkle. I saw him come up for air, not with a hand full of shells, but with a young boy, 4 or 5 years old. He was trying to hold the boy up & get the attention of some near by adults. I ran to him & he said "I saw him under water, he was under too long so I brought him up for some air." I took him to shore, fortunatly there

was another person trained in CPR,(I'm a nurse) & we began trying to get him back.My daughter ran to the car & call 911 while dozens of adults JUST STOOD THERE & DID NOTHING. After 10 min. of CPR, we still couldn't get a pulse, EMS came.... we went to the hospital as soon as we could gather up our things. The little fella didn't make it. The local police officer wanted to get a statement from us. My son, God bless him, told them that he saw the boy under water, & he'd been under "long enough" so he pulled him up for air. Then he told the officer that as soon as the boy was better they needed to get him some swim lessons.The officer was very kind, she realized, after speaking to my boy, that he was having a difficult time expressing himself. She took him by the shoulders & told him he was a hero & that he should be very proud of himself for acting quickly to help this

child.Should I tell my son that the boy died? How do I explain that even though he tried, we were too late?jbb

[Guest guest]

We've made the decision to leave things as they are. He's a hero, he

saw a child in danger & did exactly the right thing to help. It's sad

it ended this way, but my son acted quickly & did everything he

could.

I'm so glad the officer on duty talked with him. She was very kind,

told my son he had done everything right, he was a hero.

Later last night, my son said he felt sad & " guilt " . I asked him why,

he said " I feel guilt for the boy, because those men wouldn't listen. "

He was standing near 3 men when I came over, I didn't know he had

yelled at them for help. They eigther didn't understand, or couldn't

hear him.

Now that I know he already feels like he failed to get attention

asap, I can't tell him the child died. It's not his burdon to bear.

This childs mom should have been in the water with him in her sight

at all times. It was in today's paper, the child was 3.

jbb

>

> Judy, you need to commend your son! He did something absolutely

amazing, i.e. trying to save another child's life. It is unfortunate

that the other child did not survive, but discussing what happened

could help reinforce some valuable life lessons with your own son.

Some years back, one of my own sons was distraught to learn that a

classmate of his, one of his few friends at the time, had perished in

the Air Egypt disaster. My son was in Junior Kindergarten when this

occurred, and he was still relatively non-verbal at the time, so it

was not easy to explain what had happened to his classmate, even

though he seemed to understand the ugly outcome to some degree.

Please do your best to reassure your son that his efforts were

appreciated by others. Earlier, this spring, my eleven-year-old

daughter happened to be alone at my mother's house when one of my

mother's varicose veins ruptured and began bleeding profusely. My

daughter did her best to try and stop the bleeding, but she

> was not successful. Later, when my dad arrived back home, she was

the one to call 911 and relay messages to my dad re what to do. She

was likely instrumental in helping save my mom's life that day, but

unfortunately, my daughter did not see it that way herself. She was

knocking herself for being " late " to respond to her grandmother's

calls for help. She imagined, in her own head, that her granny had

been calling her for some time before she responded. That was not the

case, as my mother had not even realized she was bleeding so

profusely until she had noticed a puddle of blood on the floor.

> So, whatever you do, please reassure your son that he did

the " right thing " , even if it did not work out well for the other

child. That will also give you an opportunity to discuss some

important safety lessons with him.

Aasa

[Guest guest]

Judy writes: "This childs mom should have been in the water with him in her sight at all times." Let's add to that AND WITHIN ARM'S REACH AT ALL TIMES. That part is so important, especially with young children who do not know how to swim yet. Aasa judyblondblue <judy@...> wrote: We've made the decision to leave things as they are. He's a hero, he saw a child in danger & did exactly the

right thing to help. It's sad it ended this way, but my son acted quickly & did everything he could. I'm so glad the officer on duty talked with him. She was very kind, told my son he had done everything right, he was a hero. Later last night, my son said he felt sad & "guilt". I asked him why, he said "I feel guilt for the boy, because those men wouldn't listen."He was standing near 3 men when I came over, I didn't know he had yelled at them for help. They eigther didn't understand, or couldn't hear him.Now that I know he already feels like he failed to get attention asap, I can't tell him the child died. It's not his burdon to bear. This childs mom should have been in the water with him in her sight at all times. It was in today's paper, the child was 3.jbb>> Judy,

you need to commend your son! He did something absolutely amazing, i.e. trying to save another child's life. It is unfortunate that the other child did not survive, but discussing what happened could help reinforce some valuable life lessons with your own son. Some years back, one of my own sons was distraught to learn that a classmate of his, one of his few friends at the time, had perished in the Air Egypt disaster. My son was in Junior Kindergarten when this occurred, and he was still relatively non-verbal at the time, so it was not easy to explain what had happened to his classmate, even though he seemed to understand the ugly outcome to some degree. Please do your best to reassure your son that his efforts were appreciated by others. Earlier, this spring, my eleven-year-old daughter happened to be alone at my mother's house when one of my mother's varicose veins ruptured and began bleeding profusely. My

daughter did her best to try and stop the bleeding, but she> was not successful. Later, when my dad arrived back home, she was the one to call 911 and relay messages to my dad re what to do. She was likely instrumental in helping save my mom's life that day, but unfortunately, my daughter did not see it that way herself. She was knocking herself for being "late" to respond to her grandmother's calls for help. She imagined, in her own head, that her granny had been calling her for some time before she responded. That was not the case, as my mother had not even realized she was bleeding so profusely until she had noticed a puddle of blood on the floor. > So, whatever you do, please reassure your son that he did the "right thing", even if it did not work out well for the other child. That will also give you an opportunity to discuss some important safety lessons with

him.Aasa

[Guest guest]

This traumatic experience was brought to you courtesy of a

stranger's severe neglect of their child. It sounds like it ended up

being a gruesome psychic abuse of all children forced to witness it.

I relate to your choice to withhold the full horror of that abuse

since doing this is within your power- a bit like stopping a hammer

as it's coming down on your son's head. It's bad enough that he even

had to see the hammer swinging in the first place. The four men

ignoring your son's pleas for help just adds to the general

nightmare quality of the event.

Again, your son and your whole family sound truly amazing.

> >

> > Judy, you need to commend your son! He did something absolutely

> amazing, i.e. trying to save another child's life. It is

unfortunate

> that the other child did not survive, but discussing what happened

> could help reinforce some valuable life lessons with your own son.

> Some years back, one of my own sons was distraught to learn that a

> classmate of his, one of his few friends at the time, had perished

in

> the Air Egypt disaster. My son was in Junior Kindergarten when

this

> occurred, and he was still relatively non-verbal at the time, so

it

> was not easy to explain what had happened to his classmate, even

> though he seemed to understand the ugly outcome to some degree.

> Please do your best to reassure your son that his efforts were

> appreciated by others. Earlier, this spring, my eleven-year-old

> daughter happened to be alone at my mother's house when one of my

> mother's varicose veins ruptured and began bleeding profusely. My

> daughter did her best to try and stop the bleeding, but she

> > was not successful. Later, when my dad arrived back home, she

was

> the one to call 911 and relay messages to my dad re what to do.

She

> was likely instrumental in helping save my mom's life that day,

but

> unfortunately, my daughter did not see it that way herself. She

was

> knocking herself for being " late " to respond to her grandmother's

> calls for help. She imagined, in her own head, that her granny had

> been calling her for some time before she responded. That was not

the

> case, as my mother had not even realized she was bleeding so

> profusely until she had noticed a puddle of blood on the floor.

> > So, whatever you do, please reassure your son that he did

> the " right thing " , even if it did not work out well for the other

> child. That will also give you an opportunity to discuss some

> important safety lessons with him.

>

> Aasa

>

[Guest guest]

I'm not always in arms reach, BUT, she wears a life jacket with a

buckle through the crotch & waist. If I'm not in the water with her,

I'm sitting on the shore or another person who have verbally claimed

responsibility to watch her, like another family member, always

watching. It's impossible to ALWAYS be within within arms reach, and,

when is the appropriate time to allow more freedom? It's a very

relative situation.

Debi

>

> Judy writes:

> " This childs mom should have been in the water with him in her sight

> at all times. "

>

> Let's add to that AND WITHIN ARM'S REACH AT ALL TIMES. That part

is so important, especially with young children who do not know how to

swim yet.

>

> Aasa

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That's understandable. Judy, how are YOU coping? I know the story has

been on my mind a lot and I wasn't even there! It has to have impacted

you on some level. A horrible thing for any mom to watch, esp

considering you and your son's involvement.

Debi

>

> We've made the decision to leave things as they are. He's a hero, he

> saw a child in danger & did exactly the right thing to help. It's sad

> it ended this way, but my son acted quickly & did everything he

> could.

> I'm so glad the officer on duty talked with him. She was very kind,

> told my son he had done everything right, he was a hero.

>

> Later last night, my son said he felt sad & " guilt " . I asked him why,

> he said " I feel guilt for the boy, because those men wouldn't listen. "

> He was standing near 3 men when I came over, I didn't know he had

> yelled at them for help. They eigther didn't understand, or couldn't

> hear him.

> Now that I know he already feels like he failed to get attention

> asap, I can't tell him the child died. It's not his burdon to bear.

> This childs mom should have been in the water with him in her sight

> at all times. It was in today's paper, the child was 3.

> jbb

>

>

[Guest guest]

Debi, I'm sad one moment, angry the next. That's the first time I've

ever done CPR outside of the hospital, I was so hopeful we would get

him back, as time passed, I realized we were too late.

I'm angry at the mom, for sending a 3 yr old in the water

unsupervised, angry at the men that didn't respond to my son's calls

for help.

I'm sad for the little fella, I can't imagine how he felt, unable to

get his footing, needing help, as dozens of swimmers were close by

but didn't see him. It breaks my heart, all those adults around him,

paying no attention to his plight.

It is a large area, my son was 50 or 75 yards away from me when he

found the child.

I just wish we could have made a difference in the outcome. My

daughter say's that God took that baby for a reason. Maybe his mom

needed a wake-up call.

jbb

>

> That's understandable. Judy, how are YOU coping? I know the story

has

> been on my mind a lot and I wasn't even there! It has to have

impacted

> you on some level. A horrible thing for any mom to watch, esp

> considering you and your son's involvement.

>

> Debi

[Guest guest]

Judy, I hope you can also leave room for a little pride. Your son and you sound

like the

only people who deserved to be on the beach that day...

> >

> > That's understandable. Judy, how are YOU coping? I know the story

> has

> > been on my mind a lot and I wasn't even there! It has to have

> impacted

> > you on some level. A horrible thing for any mom to watch, esp

> > considering you and your son's involvement.

> >

> > Debi

>

[Guest guest]

Well, damn it all to hell.

My son saw a story on the news about the boy's death. Not only did he

find out the boy died, the person they interviewed said my son found

the boy when he " stepped on the lifeless body. "

He took it to mean he stepped on the child on purpose, intending to

harm him. Needless to say, we were up until 3 am last night. He is

riddled with guilt because he saw the child underwater, but did not

pull him up immediately, he thought the child was playing, when he

saw him the second time, he felt there was a problem & pulled him up,

only to discover he was too late.

We will be going for counseling.

Thanks for letting me vent here guys. This has been a nightmare.

jbb

> > >

> > > That's understandable. Judy, how are YOU coping? I know the

story

> > has

> > > been on my mind a lot and I wasn't even there! It has to have

> > impacted

> > > you on some level. A horrible thing for any mom to watch, esp

> > > considering you and your son's involvement.

> > >

> > > Debi

> >

>

[Guest guest]

So sorry that your family has to go thru this. How about you break it down into very small pieces of info for him? that no one knows what to do all by them self when they find themselves in a brand new situation and the fact that he had never seen this happen before means that he needed time to learn what to do. He "learned" and he pulled the child up as soon as he did. That he called for help just like he was supposed to. etc, etc. I hope he can find peace.

From: "judyblondblue" <judy@...>Reply-EOHarm To: EOHarm Subject: Re: My autistic, 10 yr. old son, tried to save a lifeDate: Tue, 24 Jul 2007 18:20:22 -0000

Well, damn it all to hell.My son saw a story on the news about the boy's death.

[Guest guest]

Judy, Maybe you could print out some of our messages here from the list, in addition to the counseling. We are all proud of your son and what he did. He is a hero, and deserves to feel very proud for his caring attitude and great instincts. Mariejudyblondblue <judy@...> wrote: Well, damn it all to hell.My son saw a story on the news about the boy's death. Not only did he find out the boy died, the person they interviewed said my son found the boy

when he "stepped on the lifeless body."He took it to mean he stepped on the child on purpose, intending to harm him. Needless to say, we were up until 3 am last night. He is riddled with guilt because he saw the child underwater, but did not pull him up immediately, he thought the child was playing, when he saw him the second time, he felt there was a problem & pulled him up, only to discover he was too late. We will be going for counseling.Thanks for letting me vent here guys. This has been a nightmare.jbb> > >> > > That's understandable. Judy, how are YOU coping? I know the story > > has> > > been on my mind a lot and I wasn't even there! It has to have > > impacted> > > you on some level. A horrible thing for any mom to watch, esp> > > considering you and your son's involvement.> > > > > > Debi> >>

Take the Internet to Go: Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos more.

[Guest guest]

That's so sad. You should call the tv station & tell them what they

did with their misreporting! I've YET to see a single news story that

has been 100% correct!

Tell him we all know he was a brave boy and we're proud of him. Can he

read? Could we send him emails telling him how proud we are of him?

Debi

[Guest guest]

Yes he can read! (he's pretty much recovered) Great idea Debi, e-mail

away!

This is the story from our local paper. We are setting up a fund

through a local bank to help pay for the burial expenses, Jaden's mom

has enough to deal with.

I never could do that whole short url thing....help, anyone?

http://www.jacksonsun.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?

AID=/20070724/NEWS01/707240306

jbb

>

> That's so sad. You should call the tv station & tell them what they

> did with their misreporting! I've YET to see a single news story that

> has been 100% correct!

>

> Tell him we all know he was a brave boy and we're proud of him. Can he

> read? Could we send him emails telling him how proud we are of him?

>

> Debi

>

[Guest guest]

Blast my lousy computer skills!

It's still on the front page, on the right, near the bottom.

jbb

http://www.jacksonsun.com/apps/pbcs.dll/frontpage

> >

> > That's so sad. You should call the tv station & tell them what

they

> > did with their misreporting! I've YET to see a single news story

that

> > has been 100% correct!

> >

> > Tell him we all know he was a brave boy and we're proud of him.

Can he

> > read? Could we send him emails telling him how proud we are of

him?

> >

> > Debi

> >

>