Re: Wet Noodle Drop and Other Delights

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/26/00 8:41:29 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

egroups writes:

<< I just hate the " death drop " is what we call it, lol. I admit, I am toooo

old and out of shape! People look at you weird when you have to pick up

this

kid who will not walk.

Jeannie

>>

Jeannie:

I know what you mean! There are constant " scratch marks " from my long nails

on 's upper part of both arms.....one time, the teacher even sent a note

home saying those marks were there when he got to school in the a.m. and were

not done at school!

is so fair that the slightest little provocation will make his body look

as though he's been on WWF wrestling! His skin is real sensitive too.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/26/00 7:45:26 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

carole9545@... writes:

<< I'm also asking for suggestions, and above all prayers. Are we handling

this correctly? Anyone else been through this? Should we be contacting a

lawyer?

Frightened in Vegas,

__________ >>

Holy cow ! Good thing you keep records so well. I would be scared to

death too. Our schools here now have the right to determine if our children

need to be on ritalin(spelling). Like a teacher is a doctor? Where did they

get all this authority? I know what I would do. I would pull him out of

school so fast they wouldn't know what hit them, and then I would call a

lawyer. I would love to think bad things like this don't happen to innocent

people, but it happens every day and I would make sure I was well out of

their nosy little way! You are in my prayers , God knows you are going

to need them! (((((hugs)))))

Gail

[Guest guest]

> Jeannie:

> I know what you mean! There are constant " scratch marks " from my

> long nails

> on 's upper part of both arms.....one time, the teacher even

> sent a note

> home saying those marks were there when he got to school in the a.m.

> and were

> not done at school!

>

>

This ties in to what I have been going through for the past few weeks.

Matt has been sick, on and off, had bronchitis, had tubes put in his ears

and his adenoids scraped, and we have been " fighting " with the school

about when to send him to school. One week they called me 4 times about

his " illnesses " . They are constantly finding things wrong with him, and

insisting that he come home as he is sick. He legitimately had

bronchitis, probably from the sick waiting room at the pediatrician when

I had to take him for " conjuntivitis' which was really chlorine burn. At

that visit they discovered a tube out of his ear, and I took him the next

morning to the ENT, scheduled for surgery the following Thursday. (This

was Tuesday) Wednesday, I cant' remember what was wrong-I think a

headache (yeah, right he said he had a headache!). We went for a pre-op

with the ENT on Tuesday, and I told him that I thought he was coming down

with something- he had vomited on Monday (I kept him home from school).

ENT said he was fine. Tuesday, he went to school, came home with a fever

(Regular time). I kept him home on Wednesday, and Thursday I canceled his

surgery, then took him to the reg Pediatrician. He was coughing a croupy

cough. Had bronchitis, no fever, ear infection. Doc said he could go to

school,, he would be fine. I took him, they called me, I have no problem

with that, and I kept him home on Friday. Went to school Monday, had

surgery scheduled Tuesday (rescheduled the canceled one), and the

anesthesiologist said he wasnt' better enough to put under. So we

rescheduled for Friday, but he had been on antibiotics since Thursday,

and I took him to school. They said he shoudl be home. He had a green

(slightly) runny nose. I told them he is not contagious on the

antibiotics, and he was well enough to be at school. Had surgery on

Friday, did fine, and I kept him home. I was going to send him back if

all they did was the tubes, but they " scraped " his adenoids, and I wanted

to make sure I could see there was no bleeding, and i was not going to be

home so I kept him with me. (We went bowling with a homeschool group!) He

was fine.

I asked for a conference at the beginning of this week so that we could

go over how the beginning of the year had gone. He started track break

today. We had a meeting on Monday. I was met with the Principal, teacher,

special ed teacher and the aide, and an explainattioin that the nurse

couldn't make it from her other school, she was tryin but got caught in

an emergency. They proceded to tell me about how I am not keeping him

home when he needs to be home, and they are documenting all the times

that he is sick, and how I dont' want to pick him up when they call. They

KNOW when a child needs to go home, and a fever is not always present

when they need to go home. They had a book, highlighted, with district

guidelines of when a child is too sick to be in school, including red

eyes, green or yellow snot, fatigue. Now, Matt has taken to laying on the

desk at school (you know, LOW TONE!!!) and yawning! How dare he! And when

he coughs, he sometimes doesnt' cover his mouth, and he sprays other

children and teachers!!!

All the documenting stuff scared me to death. These people are building a

" neglect " case against me! I talked to the special ed teacher about it

yesterday, and although she denys that they are " building a case " she

does confirm that " borderline neglect " has been mentioned in conjunction

with Matt. Now I am scared. She assures me that she knows I am not

neglectful, but we do have definate differences in our ideas of when a

child needs to see a doctor! I tease her all the time about being

" germ-a-phobic " .

I am writing a letter to go in his file at school, that we absolutely

deny that they have any say in when we take our child to the doctor, or

determining when he is sick, that is our job as parents. I also called

his peditrician in Cincinnati who saw Matt from the time he was born

until we moved. I asked him to write a letter. I emailed Bonnie

at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Down Syndrome Clinic and asked her to

back it up too-we have seen her on a number of occasions. I'll get a

current letter from his pediatrician, and call the ENT in Cincinnati

tomorrow. The ped suggested we contact a lawyer.

I am writing this to let you know what can and is happening. This is

scaring me to death! The thought that normal, caring, loving parents can

be investigated, possibly having children removed, because we dont'

literally run to the doctor for every sniffle,

I'm also asking for suggestions, and above all prayers. Are we handling

this correctly? Anyone else been through this? Should we be contacting a

lawyer?

Frightened in Vegas,

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[Guest guest]

we went through similar problems when my g son was in pre school.he had the

worst runny nose but would be fine . the ped would say he can go to school , he

would go and the phone would ring.he s sick come and get him. he would come home

and be fine except for needing his nose wiped.i would keep meticulous records of

all dr visits and procedures in a notebook. getting letters from former drs was

a good move also.i f they only knew how much time special needs kids and their

moms spent in dr s officesthey would not begin to accuse you of neglect.keep

your chin up.

carole

J Stolz <stolzfamily@...> wrote:

> Jeannie:

> I know what you mean! There are constant " scratch marks " from my

> long nails

> on 's upper part of both arms.....one time, the teacher even

> sent a note

> home saying those marks were there when he got to school in the a.m.

> and were

> not done at school!

>

>

This ties in to what I have been going through for the past few weeks.

Matt has been sick, on and off, had bronchitis, had tubes put in his ears

and his adenoids scraped, and we have been " fighting " with the school

about when to send him to school. One week they called me 4 times about

his " illnesses " . They are constantly finding things wrong with him, and

insisting that he come home as he is sick. He legitimately had

bronchitis, probably from the sick waiting room at the pediatrician when

I had to take him for " conjuntivitis' which was really chlorine burn. At

that visit they discovered a tube out of his ear, and I took him the next

morning to the ENT, scheduled for surgery the following Thursday. (This

was Tuesday) Wednesday, I cant' remember what was wrong-I think a

headache (yeah, right he said he had a headache!). We went for a pre-op

with the ENT on Tuesday, and I told him that I thought he was coming down

with something- he had vomited on Monday (I kept him home from school).

ENT said he was fine. Tuesday, he went to school, came home with a fever

(Regular time). I kept him home on Wednesday, and Thursday I canceled his

surgery, then took him to the reg Pediatrician. He was coughing a croupy

cough. Had bronchitis, no fever, ear infection. Doc said he could go to

school,, he would be fine. I took him, they called me, I have no problem

with that, and I kept him home on Friday. Went to school Monday, had

surgery scheduled Tuesday (rescheduled the canceled one), and the

anesthesiologist said he wasnt' better enough to put under. So we

rescheduled for Friday, but he had been on antibiotics since Thursday,

and I took him to school. They said he shoudl be home. He had a green

(slightly) runny nose. I told them he is not contagious on the

antibiotics, and he was well enough to be at school. Had surgery on

Friday, did fine, and I kept him home. I was going to send him back if

all they did was the tubes, but they " scraped " his adenoids, and I wanted

to make sure I could see there was no bleeding, and i was not going to be

home so I kept him with me. (We went bowling with a homeschool group!) He

was fine.

I asked for a conference at the beginning of this week so that we could

go over how the beginning of the year had gone. He started track break

today. We had a meeting on Monday. I was met with the Principal, teacher,

special ed teacher and the aide, and an explainattioin that the nurse

couldn't make it from her other school, she was tryin but got caught in

an emergency. They proceded to tell me about how I am not keeping him

home when he needs to be home, and they are documenting all the times

that he is sick, and how I dont' want to pick him up when they call. They

KNOW when a child needs to go home, and a fever is not always present

when they need to go home. They had a book, highlighted, with district

guidelines of when a child is too sick to be in school, including red

eyes, green or yellow snot, fatigue. Now, Matt has taken to laying on the

desk at school (you know, LOW TONE!!!) and yawning! How dare he! And when

he coughs, he sometimes doesnt' cover his mouth, and he sprays other

children and teachers!!!

All the documenting stuff scared me to death. These people are building a

" neglect " case against me! I talked to the special ed teacher about it

yesterday, and although she denys that they are " building a case " she

does confirm that " borderline neglect " has been mentioned in conjunction

with Matt. Now I am scared. She assures me that she knows I am not

neglectful, but we do have definate differences in our ideas of when a

child needs to see a doctor! I tease her all the time about being

" germ-a-phobic " .

I am writing a letter to go in his file at school, that we absolutely

deny that they have any say in when we take our child to the doctor, or

determining when he is sick, that is our job as parents. I also called

his peditrician in Cincinnati who saw Matt from the time he was born

until we moved. I asked him to write a letter. I emailed Bonnie

at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Down Syndrome Clinic and asked her to

back it up too-we have seen her on a number of occasions. I'll get a

current letter from his pediatrician, and call the ENT in Cincinnati

tomorrow. The ped suggested we contact a lawyer.

I am writing this to let you know what can and is happening. This is

scaring me to death! The thought that normal, caring, loving parents can

be investigated, possibly having children removed, because we dont'

literally run to the doctor for every sniffle,

I'm also asking for suggestions, and above all prayers. Are we handling

this correctly? Anyone else been through this? Should we be contacting a

lawyer?

Frightened in Vegas,

________________________________________________________________

YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET!

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Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit:

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[Guest guest]

<<Wednesday, I cant' remember what was wrong-I think a

headache (yeah, right he said he had a headache!). >>

, don't be frightened. This is probably what they want so that you

do what they want. I had some of this happen to me. Ted has loose

stools as his regular way and they would say he had diarrhea and to come

and take him home. I would take him right to the doctor and have him

confirm what I knew that Ted was not sick and should be in school and

a note from him to prove it and that soon stopped. Now I have an

attorney and they are using behavior as a means to do what they want and

not what is appropriate for Ted. Stay strong and don't let them tell you

how to be the great mom that you are.

Gail...opps...the other Gail

[Guest guest]

,

I used to work with a lot of families that have children with [all kinds] of

special needs. (We are in California) You would be surprised how often

people find themselves in this position. It has been my experience that

there are people (unfortunately, many of them professionals who work with our

kids) who make value judgements regarding our kids' care without

understanding the issues. The best thing you can do is dcoument everything

and get corroboration from you doctors in writing. I keep a binder with all

of 's papers in it...IEPs, medical records, etc. Whenever I get a

chance, I get current copies of 's medical records from his doctors

and put them in his notebook. That way I always have a history and

documentation to back up what I say. I also ask all of the sub-specialists

that he sees (Neurologist, GI, etc.) to send me a copy of the letters they

send to his pediatrician so I can put it in the notebook. I am really sorry

that this is happening to you. If someone had mentioned " borderline neglect "

to me, I would be a basket case! I worry with regard to because he

has severe SIB and has bruised himself quite severely and even made himself

bleed. I get everybody , from doctors, to school personnel, to respite

workers, etc. (even the people at our Church) to document what they see when

he's doing it and I put it in the notebook. I showed some pictures that we

had taken of to a Sheriff's Deputy who is a family friend after one

of 's episodes. 's face was black and blue from hitting

himself with his fist. He told me that if he had just seen the pictures (or

) and not known the situation, he would assume that it was an abuse

case.

That makes chills run down my spine! We really need a paper trail for

everything regarding our kids!

Terry

[Guest guest]

terry,

very good suggestions on how to document EVERYTHING......it's really sad we

must do this......... we are the first to have fingers pointed at though, so

we must protect ourselves.......... leah