Re: Re: Gone to College.......

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/15/00 7:51:09 PM EST, Ltb3105@... writes:

<< Looking for comfort......

:-( >>

{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you !!! My son didn't seem to miss a

beat whenever any of the older kids moved out, but then I have 6 and I think

if he noticed anything at all it was probably that his space got invaded a

lot less ; )

I hope you adjust quickly!!

Judy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/15/00 8:50:42 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Ltb3105@...

writes:

<< This is really hard and impacts the whole family...not just Mom and Dad,

as I

had originally thought.....

Looking for comfort......

:-( >>

Oh ,

(((((comfort))))) Been there, done that, and it is HARD!!!! Heck, when my

girls were teens and moved to the third floor, I put in another phone line

because I missed them!!! That's the truth. LOL I used to call them when

they were up there for more than an hour, just couldn't stand them

being " away " LOL I should own the phone company with the bills I paid the

first couple of months my daughter was at college. Seth is only 4, so and

doesn't even acknowledge when Jen comes and goes. She is the only one he

" connects " with, other than me and he just seems to pick up where they left

off every time she comes home. I would love to tell you that I found it gets

easier as time passes, but I don't find that at all! I'm sorry you are sad.

:-(

Gail

[Guest guest]

,

This was very tough for to deal with when all his brothers and sister

left. They were all very close in age and almost all left within a 2 year

period. brought all of his toys into their rooms and I would find him

at different times just sitting and staring in one of their rooms which he

had never done before. He kept calling their names and if one of them would

come over he would hang on them and cry if they left. It was really hard for

quite a while.

Now, if we are mad at him for something he says " I go Dennis " of " I go Mike "

meaning he wants to go to live with Dennis or Mike. We tell him to GO!!!!

Actually it's quite normal and comical. It's been 5 years and he still asks

for them constantly or wants to call on the phone . The call is all of his

two word conversation though. " Hi, I love you too, goodbye " It leaves them

trying to figure out who just called because his voice is so hard to hear on

the phone.

It's an adjustment for everyone. It was pretty hard for me too and I

couldn't wait until they were on their own. You don't realize how much

you'll miss them until their gone.

[Guest guest]

LAURA,

you could also adopt or get a foster kid who is 16 or 17 to fil the void

[Guest guest]

laura,

i know it's hard on you and i can't imagine what sean will be and is

feelign....brian is so good with him and having extra hands around sure

was/is great for you..... !!!!~~~~~ my heart goes out to you as a mommy

losing her baby to the world of college/girls/partying, but also to you

because of the hell it's gonna cause the rest of you......take care and hang

in there........leah

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/15/00 8:50:42 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Ltb3105@...

writes:

<<

You wonder what goes through our kids' minds....I know when was gone

for a weekend, or out at night, would say " Where go ? " and we'd

explain and that was that.....wonder if we could do that again?!

This is really hard and impacts the whole family...not just Mom and Dad, as

I

had originally thought.....

Looking for comfort......

:-(

>>

AW . {{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}} Our Joe is going into his second

year in college, but he comes home weekends. His school is only 45 minutes

away (less than a mile from dh's office). Still, it felt *weird* (as the

other kids said) to have him gone every day during the week. It was peaceful

too (I love him with my entire soul and being, but the kid's got a tough

personality....LOL). Maddie dealt fine, because as I said, he's home every

weekend. Now, starts a year from now, and THAT will be brutal!!!! We

dont' know where she's going yet (she desperately wants NYU), but either way,

she's a homebody AND my right arm. She and I are interchangeable as far as

Maddie is concerned. So, I'll be weeping my heart out soon enough.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}} again!!!! I KNOW it's rough!!!!

Donna

[Guest guest]

This is an issue I can empathze. When avi graduated from h/s and decided to

go part-time to community college and work part time, I was thrilled (He

never wanted to leave ome as a kid. Then he started working summers at a

camp in MA. We survived each summer. Then he decided to go to Savannah -

as in GA to school and our world crumpled. Elie went into mourning and we

lost our relif person. Life got really rough!! Then our daughter - already

out of town in college but home most w/e decided to get maried - Now we had

NO respite ever!

And Elie inside of one year lost big brother, second mother, and new

brother. BAD NEWS> But I must say, we have all reouped and reformed

differently. Brother and sister are still supper special and distance does

not loosen the ties made over the years. But I also miss my " grown " babies.

Sara

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[Guest guest]

One of our married boys just bought a house 4 blocks from us and walking

distance to see my grandbabies. It's helped fill that void alot and great

for since he's on the same level as my 7 year old grandaughter who

mother's him. Actually my 3 year old grandson is starting to tell what

to do too!!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

My eldet son moved away,and the kids really missed him Colin could verbalise

this and kept asking " Kristian come home " about every 2 secs, was looking

at the empty spaces,Kris had never been away long enough before for me not to

be able to say " yes he 'll be home whenever " but we have all adjusted now

and there is great excitement when he visits but also a back to normal

feeling when he goes,plus a touch of sorrow to realise that for Nicky Colin

and this normal part of growing up will not happen Pat

ps Kristian was nearly 25 when he left permanently,I was torn between sadness

and the desire to throw a party Pat

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/17/00 3:08:37 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Tricphil@...

writes:

<< Kristian was nearly 25 when he left permanently,I was torn between sadness

and the desire to throw a party Pat >>

LOLOL Pat!! I strongly suspect that these will be my exact emotions also.

Donna

[Guest guest]

,

Sending virtual <<<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>> your way! My heart is with you on this

one.

I too am worried about how will react when my oldest, , goes away

to college a year from now. absolutely worships and says her

name and looks for her when she's not here. Recently, when we dropped

off at her friend's house, cried and said 's name for the next

ten minutes. Only Mc helped to ease the pain! 's favorite place

to hang out in our house is 's room. I expect that I will be at least a

mini basket case when leaves for college, and I'm expecting it to be

very difficult for too. The worst part is that I don't know how she

will understand the explanation of why is gone. How are you handling

the explanation for ? Did you prepare him in any way?

Hang in there,

Maureen