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Re: Re: Mr. DS kid

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Now this sounds familiar. Rose has been known to stretch two rows of pews

particularly if there is a baby whose hand she can grab. Mostly people find

this charming-except if the baby is sleeping! Of course, she also insists

on telling us exactly how to hold our hands, when to sing etc. which can

drive you crazy. On the other hand, I can't tell you how many people that I

don't know particularly well(we have a huge parish) have told me how good it

has bee for them to watch Rose grow up over the years and how glad they are

that she is part of the congregation. People are often more positive in

their thinking than we think.

Mardi

----------

>From: MFROOF@...

>onelist

>Subject: Re: Mr. DS kid

>Date: Sun, Feb 6, 2000, 7:48 PM

>

>From: MFROOF@...

>

>Hi, Everyone...........It never ceases to amaze me what 'personality' will

>come up during the day. Every Sunday in church, I see the DS child. We

>greet each other at the beginning of the Mass and say 'Peace' after the

>Lord's Prayer. Gareth will do his utmost to STREEEEEEEETCH as far as

>possible to shake everyone's hands!!!!! Of course, the people around us

>don't help any because they just keep him going by offering their hands long

>after it should cease!!!!! NO ONE in that church would ever believe me if I

>told them he was also autistic. It's a nice way to start the week........of

>course, by Saturday, I am ready to end the week!!! Hope everyone has a nice

>week. God bless. Margaret

>

>---------------------------

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  • 27 years later...

>

> Every Sunday in church, I see the DS child.

> We

> greet each other at the beginning of the Mass and say 'Peace'

> after the

> Lord's Prayer. Gareth will do his utmost to STREEEEEEEETCH as far

> as

> possible to shake everyone's hands!!!!! Of course, the people

> around us

> don't help any because they just keep him going by offering their

> hands long

> after it should cease!!!!!

Margaret,

Matt does the same thing. I have taken him to daily Mass because he is so

much better behaved in church than anywhere else, and seems so " normal "

at times there. Todya, he had a great day at Mass, but has been so awful

since. He has been yelling NO all day!

By the way, last Sunday, Matt was trying to learn to genuflect. He always

has just squatted, but was paying attention to evveryone genuflecting and

trying to do that too. So, after Mass, I spent maybe 5 minutes teaching

him how to put one knee down. In all of that, I almost forgot that I

brought my mom with us to Mass! She is in a wheel chair, and was waiting

for me up by the alter to push her out of church. I was walking out,

holding Matt's hand, when my older daughter said " are we bringing grandma

back with us, or not??? " Good think I brought along!

S

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I know exactly what you mean, except my experience was in the private sector. I

was looking for a day care for before and after school (when I was a single

parent) so I could work. No one wanted , said they weren't equipped to

deal with special needs children. And I did get the one " We don't know what the

other parents would think " response. The only school that accepted him ended up

physically abusing him.....

Loriann

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Mardi,

I am from Cincinnati, and in our parish there was a young adult woman who

had DS. She always attended the same Mass with her mom and aunts. SHe

sang and said prayers rather loudly and about 1 second behind the rest of

the congregation. I loved it! Most people who attended that Mass who had

anything to say at least to me, were positive. Occassionally, for Easter

or Christmas, they attended another Mass. I heard negative, nasty

comments from people all the time when that happened. " They should teach

her to sing or pray quietly or silently " " She thinks she can lead the

whole group " " I dont' understand how they let her receive Communion. She

can't possibly know what it is all about! " etc... These people would say

this to me, while I had Matt with me! I think when our kids are little

and cute, they are accepted more. As soon as they become older, people

have things to say about them, and it ususally isn't nice! And from

" church " too!

And I dont know about you, and it may be not appropriate here (Sorry,

Joan, if it isn't), but I am still so dissappointed in the Catholic

Church's exclusion of our children. I was lucky in Cincinnati, and Matt

attended Kinder. and 1st grade in 2 different Catholic schools. Both were

doing me a " favor " in " allowing " Matt to attend. I am a very religious,

devout Catholic, but I think it is sinful in the amount of support they

give to anyone like Matt or our kids. Don't abort (I'm adamanly pro-life,

and never would anyway, but......), but dont' put " them " in " our " schools

with our " smart " kids. " We dont' have the facilities to 'deal' with

Matt's special needs " was told to me many times in my search for a

Cattholic school when we moved from one side of town to the other. This

was before they saw his IEP, or asked what he needed. And all I told them

was he has DS. One principal actually admitted to me that one reason

that he wouldnt' take Matt was because of the " other parents " and what

their reaction would be. " but, we are coming a long way. We have some of

THOSE kids come from the county school 2 times a month to work in our

cafeteria. The kids seem to be accepting of THEM in that capacity! " Can

you belive it? I swear it is true!

S

On Tue, 09 May 1972 19:54:44 +0000 " Mardi Deluhery "

<mdeluhery@...> writes:

> From: " Mardi Deluhery " <mdeluhery@...>

>

> Now this sounds familiar. Rose has been known to stretch two rows

> of pews

> particularly if there is a baby whose hand she can grab. Mostly

> people find

> this charming-except if the baby is sleeping! Of course, she also

> insists

> on telling us exactly how to hold our hands, when to sing etc. which

> can

> drive you crazy. On the other hand, I can't tell you how many

> people that I

> don't know particularly well(we have a huge parish) have told me how

> good it

> has bee for them to watch Rose grow up over the years and how glad

> they are

> that she is part of the congregation. People are often more positive

> in

> their thinking than we think.

> Mardi

> ----------

> >From: MFROOF@...

> >onelist

> >Subject: Re: Mr. DS kid

> >Date: Sun, Feb 6, 2000, 7:48 PM

> >

>

> >From: MFROOF@...

> >

> >Hi, Everyone...........It never ceases to amaze me what

> 'personality' will

> >come up during the day. Every Sunday in church, I see the DS

> child. We

> >greet each other at the beginning of the Mass and say 'Peace'

> after the

> >Lord's Prayer. Gareth will do his utmost to STREEEEEEEETCH as far

> as

> >possible to shake everyone's hands!!!!! Of course, the people

> around us

> >don't help any because they just keep him going by offering their

> hands long

> >after it should cease!!!!! NO ONE in that church would ever

> believe me if I

> >told them he was also autistic. It's a nice way to start the

> week........of

> >course, by Saturday, I am ready to end the week!!! Hope everyone

> has a nice

> >week. God bless. Margaret

> >

> >---------------------------

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In a message dated 02/08/2000 2:43:16 PM Central Standard Time,

stolzfamily@... writes:

<< I am still so dissappointed in the Catholic

Church's exclusion of our children. >>

, it really pains me to hear that you've had this experience within the

church. We are Catholic too and have had a much different experience. Our

pastor and congregation are very welcoming to EVERYONE, including persons

with disabilities. Our pastor has preached about people with disabilities

and how we should be supportive and teach our children to be accepting, to

play with kids with disabilities and to be unaccepting of insults and

stereotyping of them within our families, congregations and community. Our

parish also has on staff a part-time Special Needs Coordinator whose job it

is to work with families with children with special needs to include them in

worship, religious education, etc. Our parish is in the Diocese of Joliet, a

suburban Chicago diocese, who also has resouces for including people of all

ages with special needs in their religious communities.

Where do you live? Is there another parish nearby that would be more

welcoming to people with differences? Perhaps you should be looking for a

parish that truly practices what Jesus taught us about acceptance and

unconditional love. Just my 2 cents. Good luck,

Maureen

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In a message dated 02/08/2000 2:43:16 PM Central Standard Time,

stolzfamily@... writes:

<< I am still so dissappointed in the Catholic

Church's exclusion of our children. >>

, it really pains me to hear that you've had this experience within the

church. We are Catholic too and have had a much different experience. Our

pastor and congregation are very welcoming to EVERYONE, including persons

with disabilities. Our pastor has preached about people with disabilities

and how we should be supportive and teach our children to be accepting, to

play with kids with disabilities and to be unaccepting of insults and

stereotyping of them within our families, congregations and community. Our

parish also has on staff a part-time Special Needs Coordinator whose job it

is to work with families with children with special needs to include them in

worship, religious education, etc. Our parish is in the Diocese of Joliet, a

suburban Chicago diocese, who also has resouces for including people of all

ages with special needs in their religious communities.

Where do you live? Is there another parish nearby that would be more

welcoming to people with differences? Perhaps you should be looking for a

parish that truly practices what Jesus taught us about acceptance and

unconditional love. Just my 2 cents. Good luck,

Maureen

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Maureen,

We are in Las Vegas now, and searching for a parish still to feel

connected with. It is very different here than in Cincinnati (Where we

lived until 8 months ago, and where there were literally 3 Catholic

Churches within a 2 mile radius of both of the houses we lived in.) I am

so happy that in Chicago they are more accepting. I think it has a great

deal to do with Cardinal Bernadine. He was in Cincinnati before going to

Chicago. I really liked and respected him.

The churches were ok, except for the comments of some of the people, but

my beef is really with the schools and lack of support that the diocese

school " district " gives to inclusion. The schools get federal monies, and

you can sue to have them include our kids, but then what do you have?

Your kid(s) in a school where they are not wanted! I can't do that to my

kids. I would like to see the Catholic schools offer some help to

teachers so that kids with Special needs can be included. More education

for teachers for inservices. The first school Matt attended in Cincinnati

was actually in the forefront in inclusion. We were getting the

" reputation " for THE school for children with disabilities. By the time

that we left, they had 15 requests for children with disabilities, and 4

chidlren with significant disabilities already there. (This school had

one of each grade k-8) THey hired one full time person who did some

pull out stuff, small group stuff, and helped teachers who needed it. SHe

was SOOOO busy. The advantage to having her working with your child was

that they didnt' need to be " identified " as disabled, just having trouble

with something. The school district provided a " tutor " 1/2 day (through

fedearl money) and a speech and psych in the " van " (Cant' be on the

church property) 2 days a week each. Even with all of this, and I knew

the teacher (She had taught all of my other children) it was a rough

year. NExt year was so good at a different Catholic school with a

wonderful teacher. Matt was the first child with significant disabilities

to attend that school, and the teacher made all the difference in the

world. She had high expectations, and Matt lived up to them. She met him

on his level and brought him along. In Las Vegas, there are 7 Catholic

Grade schools and 1 Catholic High School. There are waiting lists, and

they don't get the help from the local school district.(Laws are

different). They dont' even want to talk to us. (My other kids are

homeschooled!) Maybe in the next few years, I can be more active to

promote full inclusion for our kids.

S

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