My Post to Huffington, pharmaceutical ads

[Guest guest]

I think this jives with 's letter to the editor. It is my post

that ran on Huffingtonpost.com.

Do we live in a " Pharmocracy " today? Here's the cheery message that

greeted me this morning when I opened my page:

" Want to protect yourself from cervical cancer and genital warts?

Roll over to learn more. "

Oy vey. Pal, I don't care if you're Clooney naked in my bed

with Denzel Washington patiently waiting his turn downstairs in the

kitchen.

I will roll over for a kiss. I will roll over for a back rub. I will

roll over and beg for, well, never mind. The point is? I am not

rolling over for genital wart chit chat.

This line is from the Pop Up ad for Gardasil, the new vaccine

for genital warts (HPV) that requires 3 doses and helps prevent a

particular strain of warts that is a pre-cursor to cervical cancer.

You have to roll over the ad to get to the actual information.

The " roll over " is just the tease. Ick. I also saw an ad for Gardasil

that aired while I was watching network television last night.

So now in addition to demanding the little purple pill for your

agita, Ambien so you can sleep, Vytorin for your cholesterol, Paxil

for your anxiety and Ritalin for your ADHD, you can name the vaccine

you want.

What ever became of that old game called: " I am the doctor. I went to

medical school. Allow me to diagnose and treat you. " ? Now it's " Hey,

doc, gimme three of these, two of those and couple of those naked

lady tees. "

Did you know that the movie Happy Feet features penguins and an ad

campaign that is telling kids to " Know your flu facts. " How do I know

this? I saw an ad on Nick last night. Here are your flu facts, free

from Kim: You get sick, you feel like hell, you throw up a lot, you

poop a lot, you get better. Ta da!!!!!! Now, if you're elderly and

already in poor health, you might die. Or if you're a very young

child and become severely dehydrated, you might (God forbid) die. But

the vast majority (over 70%) of flu-related deaths occur in the

elderly population.

By the way, the flu vaccine that gets the most distribution, because

it is the cheapest, contains 25 micrograms of mercury in the

Thimerosal preservative, just as an FYI. Make sure your doc tells you

that, OK? And then tell him you are allergic to Thimerosal. All

humans are " allergic " to mercury injected into their veins. And when

your doc says " Oh relax, Mrs. Dinkelschmidt, there's more mercury in

a can of tuna than in this vaccine. " You can tell him: " But doc, I

don't mainline my tuna. "

Drug ads have replaced cigarette ads in magazines. Goodbye Marlboro

Man, hello ugly little toenail yeast monster. Enough already! It's

enough to give me a headache. Now, where's my Anacin