Re: Re: Pain/Doctor Horror Stories

[Guest guest]

Robyn,

Your experiences are very similar to mine. Growing up, my only exposure

to disabled people was camp. At camp I usually identified with the

counselors. At home I also grew up in a family which expected the same out of

me

as they did my sister. I had little accommodations made for me in high

school, no aide and had friends which assisted me with everything I needed.

This was the same thru out college, even after I got trached and vented. My

friends learned my care so I could still live on campus. As I became more

experienced with internet groups centered around the disabled, I now have

many online friends who are disabled and a few offline. I also got engaged

to a disabled guy, which shocked many people around me. I dated all AB

guys until I met . He was my only DA boyfriend. He identified so much

with me and got me to accept myself more than I already did. Being with him

obviously got me over being uncomfortable socializing with other disabled

people. It wasn't easy in the beginning, but we made it work. I think

truly having no insecurities about my disability made it easier to socialize

in public with other DA people.

Take Care,

Kimi

Need birthday cards and more?

Visit my Etsy site: _www.craftykfox.etsy.com_

(aoldb://mail/write/www.craftykfox.etsy.com)

In a message dated 6/7/2010 7:55:36 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

robynesilva@... writes:

I don't think that was what they meant to say, or at least I didn't take it

that way; racist was the wrong word...disablist perhaps?

My friends always pick on me because they say that I hate other people in

wheelchairs. Which obviously would be ridiculous. But it's not untrue that

I'm not comfortable around other's with disabilities. One of my hardest

things when I would go to MDA camp when I was younger would be interacting

with others; I normally hung out with the counselors, because that is who I

felt I had more in common with.

I'm completely comfortable with myself, and that has been a hard journey

and not something that I would ever wish upon anyone. Between body image

issues (talk about adding even more to adolescense than necessary) and just

general not fitting in with general population issues, growing up was hard.

And really, to this day, I don't feel like I belong with others with

disabilities. A major part joining this group was to try to make some sort of

effort in that area. I don't deal with a lot of the issues that others might; I

grew up in household that didn't treat me any different, in school systems

that rarely did it create a problem, and in the best group of friends

ever. I made sure that I always needed the less amount of accommodations,

mainly out of a stubborn attitude, but regardless, I always acheived what I

wanted to.

I know it probably sounds awful, but I've repeatedly tried to put myself

in situations where I would not be the only person in a wheelchair and

rarely do I continue with it or enjoy myself.

Is this something that anyone else has dealt with?

________________________________

From: " _-owner _

(mailto:-owner ) " <_-owner _

(mailto:-owner ) >

_ _ (mailto: )

Sent: Mon, June 7, 2010 7:17:57 PM

Subject: Re: Pain/Doctor Horror Stories

Disability is not a race. And generally calling a group of people who

struggle with accepting their disability racist is inappropriate for this

group. It would best to take this conversation off-list if you wish to

continue.

Alana

Co-Modderator

>

> How does racism fit into my hating being disabled?

>

>

>

> I'm sure I'm not racist. In fact, I'm more accepting of others because I

> know what its like to be the object of prejudice and cruelty.

>

>

>

> Please explain how you think racism fits into people hating themselves

> because of their disability.

>

>

>

> God Bless,

>

> Meg W.

>

>

>

> From: _ _ (mailto: )

[mailto:_ _ (mailto: ) ]

On

> Behalf Of Melijeff@...

> Sent: Monday, June 07, 2010 5:31 PM

> _ _ (mailto: )

> Subject: Re: Re: Pain/Doctor Horror Stories

>

>

>

>

>

>

> It is deferent to accept something, and it is deferent to

like/enjoy/love

> it. For example, I really like blue eyes; i have brown eyes. I wish i

had

> blue eyes, but i do not hate my self because of my brown eyes. Other

> examples more life affected: I really wish i was rich, yet i do not hate

my

> self because I am not. And, yes, I really wish I was ablebodied, but I

do

> not hate my self because I am not. I can give you countless examples of

> what I " like " and what I " accept " .

>

>

> Meg, if you hate yourself, it does not matter/help how much and how many

> people love you.

>

>

> I dare saying something which may sound too controversial: people with

> disabilities who hate themselves because of their disability are

> (secretly?) racists.

>

>

>

>

>

> In a message dated 6/7/2010 8:00:13 A.M. Central Standard Time,

> meg.w@... <mailto:meg.w%40comcast.net> writes:

>

> that I'm disabled. Intellectually I know it's wrong. Emotionally, I

> feel like a little girl, shaking with fear and ashamed, standing in a

> corner as a punishment for being bad.

>

> Amy and I talked about this before. She thinks I've accepted it. But

> accepting it doesn't mean liking it. Maybe I have accepted it like

> she thinks, but my hate towards it blinds me from seeing the

> acceptance. I don't know anymore.

>

> I'm sorry for bumming you guys out.

>

> God Bless,

> Meg W.

>

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