Re: Strangers bonded by autism....or by RECOVERY

[Guest guest]

Kim,

This was a nice story. so well said and genuinely sweet.

Thanks.

I do the same...i look at othrs and think... " fine " or " autistic. " I

think we can't help it. But I love it when the other (parental) party

is in agreement and we meet eyes and feel....the same pain, grief and

connectedness. somehow...shockingly, there is joy in this. No. that

is SO not the right word. not joy. Comfort?? There is comfort in

antohers understanding.

comfort.

Yes..strangers bonded by autism

I'd rather be bonded by RECOVERY

in CA

>

> We sat in church on Easter Sunday and a family with an autistic boy

> was in our pew -- front row. The Mom and I just smiled at each

> other, with very knowing glances. Her son had a coloring book and my

> Mia had a large Sesame Street book (she's 11.) My Bella and

> didn't " look " as instantly recognizable as autistic.

>

> One small church, and 4 autistic kids in the front pew.

>

> Last night I was at a restaurant in Ridgefield CT and I saw an older

> couple with an adult son. I instantly said " autistic. " His Mom told

> him to finish his soda as he rocked back and forth, just looking

> around. I pictured my husband Mark and me, as we get old, with our 3

> girls with us. It made me smile and made me sick at the same

> time. Does that make sense?

>

> Kim

>

[Guest guest]

While at Panera's at lunchtime, I saw a dad in line and his 4 kids

nearby. One was obviously impaired, sitting in an umbrella stroller

which was getting too small for him. He had a pacifier and he looked

to be 6. He was rocking back and forth and had that " look " about him.

His 3 siblings were trying to keep him content while the dad ordered

food.

I didn't have time to strike up a conversation as I had to get back to

work, but it would have been nice to have a card that said:

My child is recovering from autism.

Please visit these websites for more info

(include GR/NAA/FAIR etc)

If you would like to contact me...

email/phone

There is hope!

Followed by " I just like getting the word out as many do not know

where to go or what to do " Take care...

> >

> > We sat in church on Easter Sunday and a family with an autistic boy

> > was in our pew -- front row. The Mom and I just smiled at each

> > other, with very knowing glances. Her son had a coloring book and my

> > Mia had a large Sesame Street book (she's 11.) My Bella and

> > didn't " look " as instantly recognizable as autistic.

> >

> > One small church, and 4 autistic kids in the front pew.

> >

> > Last night I was at a restaurant in Ridgefield CT and I saw an older

> > couple with an adult son. I instantly said " autistic. " His Mom told

> > him to finish his soda as he rocked back and forth, just looking

> > around. I pictured my husband Mark and me, as we get old, with our 3

> > girls with us. It made me smile and made me sick at the same

> > time. Does that make sense?

> >

> > Kim

> >

>

[Guest guest]

> Yes..strangers bonded by autism

>

>

> I'd rather be bonded by RECOVERY

>

>

> in CA

>

Excellent and true.

Today I had a CSE meeting and on my son's IEP it said

" diploma expected ______ " it was blank.

I wanted to ask them to add the word " regents "

but, of course I didn't think of that until I was in the car going

home... but I felt that possibility. I was thinking " it could happen, it

could REALLY happen " . I have to believe it.

I thought of telling the story about how she told the doctor he

would remove her son's dx--- and it happened!

ps- we could totally make up a card- kinda like TACA's-

but about treatments.

[Guest guest]

My mother in law...you know the one on the SMART side...used to tell

me when I would try to tell her of Baxter's delays and she would

completely disregard me (her coping mechanism I can only imagine...3

dignoses from 3 dif sources and she couldn't fathom....I'm NOT making

this up!!!) " ...we'll all laugh at this as he gives his valedictory

speech at college... "

I was Sooooooooo frustrated at her lack of sympathy and ignorance of

the issue. now..p[art of me wonders if her sincere belief that he

would get better and was completely BRILLIANT (again rolling my eyes

here...my kid could not pour a pea out of a jar when shown

repeatedly!) but hmmmmmm... I don't know. Pick a year for grad...

.... the right one. it will happen. Let's all belive.

When should Graduate? Can we all say a silent ( " yes he

will? " ) Give us a year.

I've got it in my radar.

Stranger things have happend!

Hey!

The Gov't allowed Hg in vaccines and then said it was completely

fine! Thats shockingly STRANGE

Let 's recovery and the BELIEF that it will happen... be the

nail in the coffin.

GIve us the radar year for our nighttime prayers.

and Bax

>

> > Yes..strangers bonded by autism

> >

> >

> > I'd rather be bonded by RECOVERY

> >

> >

> > in CA

> >

>

> Excellent and true.

>

> Today I had a CSE meeting and on my son's IEP it said

> " diploma expected ______ " it was blank.

> I wanted to ask them to add the word " regents "

> but, of course I didn't think of that until I was in the car going

> home... but I felt that possibility. I was thinking " it could

happen, it

> could REALLY happen " . I have to believe it.

>

> I thought of telling the story about how she told the doctor

he

> would remove her son's dx--- and it happened!

>

>

>

> ps- we could totally make up a card- kinda like TACA's-

> but about treatments.

>

[Guest guest]

I understand your pain and frustration. But take the pain you feel and times it by two. That's what it is like for grandparents going through this. This is the child of her son. Her baby's baby. She's not stupid or blind. She sees the signs but knows having a disabled child is going to be incredibly painful for her son. She wants him to experience all the joy she experienced raising him. And then some. And her love for her grandchild is boundless. She wants the world for him. And then some. The idea that he is going to have a hard life is heartbreaking for her. Remember, she isn't going to be there to protect him when he's old. So have compassion for her. My husband is older than me by 14 years. He was the baby of his family. So there's a big age difference between me and my mother in law (she's the age of my grandparents, if they were still

living) which of course means we don't always understand each other. She's in her 80's and from a generation that grew up in the age of institutions. People with disabilities were put away. Often against the will of their family. When my son was very young she really struggled with the diagnosis. I thought it was a "not in MY FAMILY" kind of thing. But in reality it was a sincere, "Please God, not my family because I don't want them to suffer". I guarantee you, you can't see it because it's something people don't talk about but your mother in law is wearing out the carpet praying for your son's recovery. Hang in there. Prayers do get answered. djberle <dberle@...> wrote: My mother in law...you know the one on the SMART side...used to tell

me when I would try to tell her of Baxter's delays and she would completely disregard me (her coping mechanism I can only imagine...3 dignoses from 3 dif sources and she couldn't fathom....I'm NOT making this up!!!) "...we'll all laugh at this as he gives his valedictory speech at college..." I was Sooooooooo frustrated at her lack of sympathy and ignorance of the issue. now..p[art of me wonders if her sincere belief that he would get better and was completely BRILLIANT (again rolling my eyes here...my kid could not pour a pea out of a jar when shown repeatedly!) but hmmmmmm... I don't know. Pick a year for grad... .... the right one. it will happen. Let's all belive. When should Graduate? Can we all say a silent ("yes he will?") Give us a year. I've got it in my radar. Stranger things

have happend! Hey! The Gov't allowed Hg in vaccines and then said it was completely fine! Thats shockingly STRANGE Let 's recovery and the BELIEF that it will happen... be the nail in the coffin. GIve us the radar year for our nighttime prayers. and Bax > > > Yes..strangers bonded by autism > > > > > > I'd rather be bonded by RECOVERY > > > > > > in CA > > > > Excellent and true. > > Today I had a CSE meeting and on my son's IEP it said > "diploma expected ______ " it was blank. > I wanted to ask them to add the word "regents" > but, of course I didn't think of that until I was in the car going > home... but I felt that

possibility. I was thinking "it could happen, it > could REALLY happen". I have to believe it. > > I thought of telling the story about how she told the doctor he > would remove her son's dx--- and it happened! > > > > ps- we could totally make up a card- kinda like TACA's- > but about treatments. >

Messenger with Voice. PC-to-Phone calls for ridiculously low rates.

[Guest guest]

My mother is only 56 years old and she grew up in the day of

institutions. It wasn't that long ago. I went to an inclusion seminar

last year. The woman speaking said her first job out of college was in

198-something. It was to teach 16 & 17 year olds in an institution who

were disabled. She was the first teacher they had EVER had. Makes you

stop and think just how far we have come in 2 decades.

Debi

>

> I understand your pain and frustration. But take the pain you feel

and times it by two. That's what it is like for grandparents going

through this.

>

> This is the child of her son. Her baby's baby. She's not stupid

or blind. She sees the signs but knows having a disabled child is

going to be incredibly painful for her son. She wants him to

experience all the joy she experienced raising him. And then some.

And her love for her grandchild is boundless. She wants the world

for him. And then some. The idea that he is going to have a hard

life is heartbreaking for her. Remember, she isn't going to be there

to protect him when he's old. So have compassion for her.

>

> My husband is older than me by 14 years. He was the baby of his

family. So there's a big age difference between me and my mother in

law (she's the age of my grandparents, if they were still living)

which of course means we don't always understand each other. She's

in her 80's and from a generation that grew up in the age of

institutions. People with disabilities were put away. Often against

the will of their family. When my son was very young she really

struggled with the diagnosis. I thought it was a " not in MY FAMILY "

kind of thing. But in reality it was a sincere, " Please God, not my

family because I don't want them to suffer " . I guarantee you, you

can't see it because it's something people don't talk about but your

mother in law is wearing out the carpet praying for your son's recovery.

>

> Hang in there. Prayers do get answered.

[Guest guest]

,

I agree with , set that graduation date with the regents

diploma! If you do not expect it of him, who will? I told you

once, that I was told at Kolin's first IEP when he was 3 yrs old by

the school psychologist that I needed to come to terms that he would

not graduate high school. Now he is on target for the Honor's

diploma, although 10 years away. He is going to be in the gifted

class next year for math, his reading is on grade level and

improving everyday. It is you that makes the difference in making

that happen, not the schools. My mother told me that your children

will live up to your expectations, good or bad, disabled or not, and

that is the foundation on everything I did for Kolin. I expected

him to overcome his disability, learn to talk, learn to play with

others, show compassion, interact appropriately, learn that his

behavior does affect others and learn manners. All these things, he

does…and so much more. In this, he is finally able to show everyone

who he really is inside, the smart, sweet, kind, loving, giving,

funny, fun-loving, active little boy who loves being a " real

boy " (his words, not mine).

Sovern

Wrote:

>I don't know. Pick a year for grad...

>.... the right one. it will happen. Let's all belive.

>When should Graduate? Can we all say a silent ( " yes he

>will? " ) Give us a year.

>I've got it in my radar.

[Guest guest]

It does happen. My son did graduate from high school and is now in college.

Yes, he has an aide to assist him with the things that he can't do, like

take notes because he has mild CP, and help him manage his behavior, but

academically, he has no problem.

Barb

Re: Re: Strangers bonded by autism....or by RECOVERY

>> Yes..strangers bonded by autism

>>

>>

>> I'd rather be bonded by RECOVERY

>>

>>

>> in CA

>>

>

> Excellent and true.

>

> Today I had a CSE meeting and on my son's IEP it said

> " diploma expected ______ " it was blank.

> I wanted to ask them to add the word " regents "

> but, of course I didn't think of that until I was in the car going

> home... but I felt that possibility. I was thinking " it could happen, it

> could REALLY happen " . I have to believe it.

>

> I thought of telling the story about how she told the doctor he

> would remove her son's dx--- and it happened!

>

>

>

> ps- we could totally make up a card- kinda like TACA's-

> but about treatments.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

on 4/20/06 8:49 AM, Unruh Sovern at asovern@... wrote:

> ,

> I agree with , set that graduation date with the regents

> diploma! If you do not expect it of him, who will? I told you

> once, that I was told at Kolin's first IEP when he was 3 yrs old by

,

Thanks for the inspirational email. My son has already done things I never

thought he would do (like sing in the holiday concert, twice).

- and Baxter are going to graduate the same year- unless one of

them graduates early.... We have some time- but we should definately plan

something. I think eventually i'm going to shoot a documentary about my

son- and he'll narrate it- maybe even edit it with me. Did you ever see

Educating or Graduating ? It runs on HBO sometimes. It's about

a boy with Downs who goes to a typical school. I really learned a lot from

it.

Ok- off to work on the R2R---- " road to recovery "

[Guest guest]

I personally feel great when people around me think that my son is

going to be fine. I know that part of the reason they think so is

because they don't know half the stuff I know about autism. Still,

it doesn't matter. I don't need people around me bringing me further

down. I believe that my son will one day function fully at peer

level and perhaps even surpass his peers in some areas. I believe

that he will graduate from college. I just have to survive until

then. Blissfully ignorant relatives, thinking that there's nothing

wrong with him, help me with that LOL!

Every day little moments of normalcy provide me with the delusional

opportunities to PRETEND that there's NO autism in our lives (split

seconds perhaps). Boy does that feel good! And you know what, I've

been noticing that those moments are getting longer and longer. How

about that?

Beti

> >

> > > Yes..strangers bonded by autism

> > >

> > >

> > > I'd rather be bonded by RECOVERY

> > >

> > >

> > > in CA

> > >

> >

> > Excellent and true.

> >

> > Today I had a CSE meeting and on my son's IEP it said

> > " diploma expected ______ " it was blank.

> > I wanted to ask them to add the word " regents "

> > but, of course I didn't think of that until I was in the car

going

> > home... but I felt that possibility. I was thinking " it could

> happen, it

> > could REALLY happen " . I have to believe it.

> >

> > I thought of telling the story about how she told the

doctor

> he

> > would remove her son's dx--- and it happened!

> >

> >

> >

> > ps- we could totally make up a card- kinda like TACA's-

> > but about treatments.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

for Beti B.

for dramatic results in 6 yr old kid, severely autistic since age 15 months

resulting from immunization with MMR vaccine containing thimersol E mail

father, dentist Vercellotti, at \VerceDDS@...

or call me for copy of Vercellotti's letter of thanks.

H.H. Fudenberg, M.D., D.D.G., I.O.M.

864-592-8076

>

[Guest guest]

LOL. My MIL has said similar things: " you'll see, he'll turn out just

fine and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about " . Well, yeah he is

turning out fine because of diet, supplements, probiotics, B12 shots,

antifungals/antibiotics and chelation. But when that day comes, I'm sure

she will remind us that she was right all along, meanwhile completely

oblivious to everything we have been doing for him to heal his body.

Becky

> My mother in law...you know the one on the SMART side...used to tell

> me when I would try to tell her of Baxter's delays and she would

> completely disregard me (her coping mechanism I can only imagine...3

> dignoses from 3 dif sources and she couldn't fathom....I'm NOT making

> this up!!!) " ...we'll all laugh at this as he gives his valedictory

> speech at college... "