Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

[Guest guest]

Hi, Jeni,

First, why not ask h what she prefers? When I was her age I had nurses

that went to school with me and on the weekends in the evening. I *very much*

preferred to have younger nurses who looked more like " friends " instead of

motherly-type women. My friends were more comfortable around the younger ones,

too. Hope that helps! ~a

Jenifer Woody <mom2armybratz@...> wrote:

We aren't positive yet, but there is a good chance that she qualifies

for assistance hours. With the program I will get to help her in hiring and

managing her aides herself. Here's my dilemma...

Part of me wants to hire an older Mom or grandma type so that there is more of a

parental influence there, but part of me knows that when I was h's age I

would NOT have wanted someone " old " hanging out all the time. So in that respect

I was thinking about a college student type who would be closer to a peer than a

" Mom. " I want to give her some freedom and autonomy, but I don't want to give

her enough of that rope to hang herself with.

Am I making even the slightest bit of sense?

I guess the real question is: How much freedom do I give her at 12? I don't know

how much I would give her if SMA were not an issue. I can't take my mother's

advise or h would be with a babysitter until she is 35! So I turn to y'all

;0) You haven't steered me wrong for the past 9 or 10 years, so I'm guessing

I'll get some great words of wisdom in this situation, too!

Love and Hugs

Jeni

[Guest guest]

Thanks! I have talked to h, and of course she prefers the idea of me just

leaving her on her own. I am not ready to take that leap just yet, though. I can

think of two million things that could possibly go wrong. Yes I know.... Mommy

paranoia *LOL*

The blending issue is what I was thinking about. I am afraid that if I stick her

with someone who is grandmotherly it is going to cut her off socially. What 7th

grader wants a grown-up hanging around all the time? 

Then again, I worry that a younger assistant won't be mature enough. I don't

want to let h hire someone who is going to miss shifts or be careless with

h.

 

 Love and Hugs

         Jeni

                              

Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

Hi, Jeni,

First, why not ask h what she prefers? When I was her age I had nurses that

went to school with me and on the weekends in the evening. I *very much*

preferred to have younger nurses who looked more like " friends " instead of

motherly-type women. My friends were more comfortable around the younger ones,

too. Hope that helps! ~a

Jenifer Woody <mom2armybratz> wrote:

We aren't positive yet, but there is a good chance that she qualifies for

assistance hours. With the program I will get to help her in hiring and managing

her aides herself. Here's my dilemma...

Part of me wants to hire an older Mom or grandma type so that there is more of a

parental influence there, but part of me knows that when I was h's age I

would NOT have wanted someone " old " hanging out all the time. So in that respect

I was thinking about a college student type who would be closer to a peer than a

" Mom. " I want to give her some freedom and autonomy, but I don't want to give

her enough of that rope to hang herself with.

Am I making even the slightest bit of sense?

I guess the real question is: How much freedom do I give her at 12? I don't know

how much I would give her if SMA were not an issue. I can't take my mother's

advise or h would be with a babysitter until she is 35! So I turn to y'all

;0) You haven't steered me wrong for the past 9 or 10 years, so I'm guessing

I'll get some great words of wisdom in this situation, too!

Love and Hugs

Jeni

[Guest guest]

Jeni,

I personally think two different people more her age will better

prepare her for the realities of attendant management.

I recommend two because then there will usually be a non-mom backup,

and it will teach h how to schedule around her own and her

attendants' needs. This will also help decrease person-specific

dependence. It's scary to hire new people after I'm so used to

working with someone(s) for a long time, but the reality is that

attendants are fairly high turnover. I have seven regular attendants

who all communicate with each other by e-mail and phone, keeping me

in the loop, about shift swapping, substituting, and coordinating

holidays and vacations. It's important to keep people happy in this

relatively low-paying job. My longest regular attendant is Carl (8+

years). My newest is Chaim (2 months). Xarick has been working for

me for 4 or 5 years, but it's on and off because he travels and lives

part-time in Tennessee. This is perfect because he always ends up

back in California after the beet harvest and right when I need

holiday substitutes in November and December. Attendants' schedules

tend to change 2-3 times a year whether they're students or not.

I recommend younger people because attendant-client relationships

usually work out better and last longer when the duo have more in

common. I hire artists, punks, political activists, anarchists,

foodies, environmentalists, writers, smart-asses, etc. The younger

ones may indeed be more difficult to manage, but better for h to

learn how to develop this required management skill while you're

around to teach her and do damage control.

Here is an ad I use:

Seeking Personal Assistant(s)

Available in Late May

Mondays and/or Tuesdays - 7:30 a.m. (3 - 5 hours)

Sundays - 8:30 p.m. (2 - 3 hours)

I'm an active 41 year old woman who lives with my partner and 2

cats. I need assistance with most aspects of my personal care,

cooking, household chores include home maintenance and light repairs,

and administrative tasks. I also need some who can drive me in my

van. There may be opportunities to travel with us. I use a power

wheelchair and numerous home health gadgets. Our home is 5 blocks

from the N. Berkeley BART Station, a mile west of UCB, and on the 51

& 88 Bus lines.

I have recently retired as a disability benefits advocate and have re-

launched my career as a writer. When I'm not working, I enjoy

spending time with my partner, friends, and family. I like cooking,

listening to music, writing, playing games, watching movies, beading,

drawing, reading, computer geeking, gardening, chatting over tea, and

such. I am a responsible employer with 25 years of experience

hiring, training and working with my assistants.

Personal Care

-Bathing (Bed Bath)

-Bathrooming (Bedpan & Catheter)

-Dressing

-Transferring (55 lb. Cradle Lift - Yes, I'm really small)

-Occasional Feeding

-Grooming

Household Stuff

-Cooking

-Dishes

-Making Bed

-Tidying Up

-Plant Care

-Sweeping/Mopping

-Errands

-Driving My Van (I strongly prefer you can drive)

-Cat Care

Clerical (Minimal)

-Filing

-Bill Paying

-Correspondence

Requirements

-Male or Female

-Comfort with Personal Care

-Ability to Readily Lift 55 lbs.

-Prompt and Reliable (sick days must be very rare, though,

occasionally swapping shifts with other assistants is fine)

-Must Be Able to Follow Directions

-Good Sense of Humor

-Detail-Oriented Quick Learner

-Strong Communication Skills

-Fluent in English

-Valid Driver's License with Good Record

-Social Security #

-Good References

-I am willing to Train/No Attendant Work Experience Necessary

-No perfume

-No homophobes please

Rate of Pay:

$12 Training

$12.50 Starting (negotiable based on experience)

Regular Raises

Medical/Dental/Vision Benefits for working 38 hrs./month After 3

Months

E-mail resume or paragraph about yourself, plus references: Alana -

alrt@...

[Guest guest]

My vote is for a responsible college student. :-)

On 4/30/08 9:28 AM, " Jenifer Woody " <mom2armybratz@...> wrote:

> We aren't positive yet, but there is a good chance that she qualifies for

> assistance hours. With the program I will get to help her in hiring and

> managing her aides herself. Here's my dilemma...

> Part of me wants to hire an older Mom or grandma type so that there is more of

> a parental influence there, but part of me knows that when I was h's age I

> would NOT have wanted someone " old " hanging out all the time. So in that

> respect I was thinking about a college student type who would be closer to a

> peer than a " Mom. " I want to give her some freedom and autonomy, but I don't

> want to give her enough of that rope to hang herself with.

> Am I making even the slightest bit of sense? 

> I guess the real question is: How much freedom do I give her at 12? I don't

> know how much I would give her if SMA were not an issue. I can't take

> my mother's advise or h would be with a babysitter until she is 35! So I

> turn to y'all ;0) You haven't steered me wrong for the past 9 or 10 years, so

> I'm guessing I'll get some great words of wisdom in this situation, too!

>  

>  Love and Hugs

>          Jeni

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Alana. I like your ad. It is very specific and definitely lets people

know what they are applying for. I am going to print that out (if that's ok) so

that when we are writing h's ad she can see what kind of things she might

need to put in.

I think that I am going to lean towards the college age for h's

assistants. Worst case scenario (nobody can cover a shift that she wanted free

of me *LOL*) she still has me and my mother! We're not throwing her to the

wolves and this is not a full-time attendant situation. We're starting now so

that by the time she is old enough to be out on her own she will be really ready

for everything that comes with it. 

Thanks again for your help! 

 Love and Hugs

         Jeni

                              

Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

Jeni,

I personally think two different people more her age will better

prepare her for the realities of attendant management.

I recommend two because then there will usually be a non-mom backup,

and it will teach h how to schedule around her own and her

attendants' needs. This will also help decrease person-specific

dependence. It's scary to hire new people after I'm so used to

working with someone(s) for a long time, but the reality is that

attendants are fairly high turnover. I have seven regular attendants

who all communicate with each other by e-mail and phone, keeping me

in the loop, about shift swapping, substituting, and coordinating

holidays and vacations. It's important to keep people happy in this

relatively low-paying job. My longest regular attendant is Carl (8+

years). My newest is Chaim (2 months). Xarick has been working for

me for 4 or 5 years, but it's on and off because he travels and lives

part-time in Tennessee. This is perfect because he always ends up

back in California after the beet harvest and right when I need

holiday substitutes in November and December. Attendants' schedules

tend to change 2-3 times a year whether they're students or not.

I recommend younger people because attendant-client relationships

usually work out better and last longer when the duo have more in

common. I hire artists, punks, political activists, anarchists,

foodies, environmentalists, writers, smart-asses, etc. The younger

ones may indeed be more difficult to manage, but better for h to

learn how to develop this required management skill while you're

around to teach her and do damage control.

Here is an ad I use:

Seeking Personal Assistant(s)

Available in Late May

Mondays and/or Tuesdays - 7:30 a.m. (3 - 5 hours)

Sundays - 8:30 p.m. (2 - 3 hours)

I'm an active 41 year old woman who lives with my partner and 2

cats. I need assistance with most aspects of my personal care,

cooking, household chores include home maintenance and light repairs,

and administrative tasks. I also need some who can drive me in my

van. There may be opportunities to travel with us. I use a power

wheelchair and numerous home health gadgets. Our home is 5 blocks

from the N. Berkeley BART Station, a mile west of UCB, and on the 51

& 88 Bus lines.

I have recently retired as a disability benefits advocate and have re-

launched my career as a writer. When I'm not working, I enjoy

spending time with my partner, friends, and family. I like cooking,

listening to music, writing, playing games, watching movies, beading,

drawing, reading, computer geeking, gardening, chatting over tea, and

such. I am a responsible employer with 25 years of experience

hiring, training and working with my assistants.

Personal Care

-Bathing (Bed Bath)

-Bathrooming (Bedpan & Catheter)

-Dressing

-Transferring (55 lb. Cradle Lift - Yes, I'm really small)

-Occasional Feeding

-Grooming

Household Stuff

-Cooking

-Dishes

-Making Bed

-Tidying Up

-Plant Care

-Sweeping/Mopping

-Errands

-Driving My Van (I strongly prefer you can drive)

-Cat Care

Clerical (Minimal)

-Filing

-Bill Paying

-Correspondence

Requirements

-Male or Female

-Comfort with Personal Care

-Ability to Readily Lift 55 lbs.

-Prompt and Reliable (sick days must be very rare, though,

occasionally swapping shifts with other assistants is fine)

-Must Be Able to Follow Directions

-Good Sense of Humor

-Detail-Oriented Quick Learner

-Strong Communication Skills

-Fluent in English

-Valid Driver's License with Good Record

-Social Security #

-Good References

-I am willing to Train/No Attendant Work Experience Necessary

-No perfume

-No homophobes please

Rate of Pay:

$12 Training

$12.50 Starting (negotiable based on experience)

Regular Raises

Medical/Dental/ Vision Benefits for working 38 hrs./month After 3

Months

E-mail resume or paragraph about yourself, plus references: Alana -

alrtcomcast (DOT) net

[Guest guest]

I think that is the general concensus and I'm more than ok with flowing with

that ;0)

Thanks!

 

 Love and Hugs

         Jeni

                              

Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

My vote is for a responsible college student. :-)

On 4/30/08 9:28 AM, " Jenifer Woody " <mom2armybratz> wrote:

> We aren't positive yet, but there is a good chance that she qualifies for

> assistance hours. With the program I will get to help her in hiring and

> managing her aides herself. Here's my dilemma...

> Part of me wants to hire an older Mom or grandma type so that there is more of

> a parental influence there, but part of me knows that when I was h's age I

> would NOT have wanted someone " old " hanging out all the time. So in that

> respect I was thinking about a college student type who would be closer to a

> peer than a " Mom. " I want to give her some freedom and autonomy, but I don't

> want to give her enough of that rope to hang herself with.

> Am I making even the slightest bit of sense? 

> I guess the real question is: How much freedom do I give her at 12? I don't

> know how much I would give her if SMA were not an issue. I can't take

> my mother's advise or h would be with a babysitter until she is 35! So I

> turn to y'all ;0) You haven't steered me wrong for the past 9 or 10 years, so

> I'm guessing I'll get some great words of wisdom in this situation, too!

>  

>  Love and Hugs

>          Jeni

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with a. My wife and I have had 24hr nursing care since we

were very young. We always prefer, especially when we were teenagers, that

our nurses be close to our age.

Doug

From: [mailto: ] On

Behalf Of a B.

Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2008 11:28 AM

Subject: Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

Hi, Jeni,

First, why not ask h what she prefers? When I was her age I had nurses

that went to school with me and on the weekends in the evening. I *very

much* preferred to have younger nurses who looked more like " friends "

instead of motherly-type women. My friends were more comfortable around the

younger ones, too. Hope that helps! ~a

Jenifer Woody <mom2armybratz@... <mailto:mom2armybratz%40> >

wrote:

We aren't positive yet, but there is a good chance that she qualifies for

assistance hours. With the program I will get to help her in hiring and

managing her aides herself. Here's my dilemma...

Part of me wants to hire an older Mom or grandma type so that there is more

of a parental influence there, but part of me knows that when I was h's

age I would NOT have wanted someone " old " hanging out all the time. So in

that respect I was thinking about a college student type who would be closer

to a peer than a " Mom. " I want to give her some freedom and autonomy, but I

don't want to give her enough of that rope to hang herself with.

Am I making even the slightest bit of sense?

I guess the real question is: How much freedom do I give her at 12? I don't

know how much I would give her if SMA were not an issue. I can't take my

mother's advise or h would be with a babysitter until she is 35! So I

turn to y'all ;0) You haven't steered me wrong for the past 9 or 10 years,

so I'm guessing I'll get some great words of wisdom in this situation, too!

Love and Hugs

Jeni

[Guest guest]

Thanks for posting your ad Alana. I have my pca ad fashioned after one you

posted a few years ago and it works great.

On 4/30/08 6:52 PM, " Alana " <alrt@...> wrote:

> Jeni,

>

> I personally think two different people more her age will better

> prepare her for the realities of attendant management.

>

> I recommend two because then there will usually be a non-mom backup,

> and it will teach h how to schedule around her own and her

> attendants' needs. This will also help decrease person-specific

> dependence. It's scary to hire new people after I'm so used to

> working with someone(s) for a long time, but the reality is that

> attendants are fairly high turnover. I have seven regular attendants

> who all communicate with each other by e-mail and phone, keeping me

> in the loop, about shift swapping, substituting, and coordinating

> holidays and vacations. It's important to keep people happy in this

> relatively low-paying job. My longest regular attendant is Carl (8+

> years). My newest is Chaim (2 months). Xarick has been working for

> me for 4 or 5 years, but it's on and off because he travels and lives

> part-time in Tennessee. This is perfect because he always ends up

> back in California after the beet harvest and right when I need

> holiday substitutes in November and December. Attendants' schedules

> tend to change 2-3 times a year whether they're students or not.

>

> I recommend younger people because attendant-client relationships

> usually work out better and last longer when the duo have more in

> common. I hire artists, punks, political activists, anarchists,

> foodies, environmentalists, writers, smart-asses, etc. The younger

> ones may indeed be more difficult to manage, but better for h to

> learn how to develop this required management skill while you're

> around to teach her and do damage control.

>

> Here is an ad I use:

>

> Seeking Personal Assistant(s)

>

> Available in Late May

> Mondays and/or Tuesdays - 7:30 a.m. (3 - 5 hours)

> Sundays - 8:30 p.m. (2 - 3 hours)

>

> I'm an active 41 year old woman who lives with my partner and 2

> cats. I need assistance with most aspects of my personal care,

> cooking, household chores include home maintenance and light repairs,

> and administrative tasks. I also need some who can drive me in my

> van. There may be opportunities to travel with us. I use a power

> wheelchair and numerous home health gadgets. Our home is 5 blocks

> from the N. Berkeley BART Station, a mile west of UCB, and on the 51

> & 88 Bus lines.

>

> I have recently retired as a disability benefits advocate and have re-

> launched my career as a writer. When I'm not working, I enjoy

> spending time with my partner, friends, and family. I like cooking,

> listening to music, writing, playing games, watching movies, beading,

> drawing, reading, computer geeking, gardening, chatting over tea, and

> such. I am a responsible employer with 25 years of experience

> hiring, training and working with my assistants.

>

> Personal Care

> -Bathing (Bed Bath)

> -Bathrooming (Bedpan & Catheter)

> -Dressing

> -Transferring (55 lb. Cradle Lift - Yes, I'm really small)

> -Occasional Feeding

> -Grooming

>

> Household Stuff

> -Cooking

> -Dishes

> -Making Bed

> -Tidying Up

> -Plant Care

> -Sweeping/Mopping

> -Errands

> -Driving My Van (I strongly prefer you can drive)

> -Cat Care

>

> Clerical (Minimal)

> -Filing

> -Bill Paying

> -Correspondence

>

> Requirements

> -Male or Female

> -Comfort with Personal Care

> -Ability to Readily Lift 55 lbs.

> -Prompt and Reliable (sick days must be very rare, though,

> occasionally swapping shifts with other assistants is fine)

> -Must Be Able to Follow Directions

> -Good Sense of Humor

> -Detail-Oriented Quick Learner

> -Strong Communication Skills

> -Fluent in English

> -Valid Driver's License with Good Record

> -Social Security #

> -Good References

> -I am willing to Train/No Attendant Work Experience Necessary

> -No perfume

> -No homophobes please

>

> Rate of Pay:

> $12 Training

> $12.50 Starting (negotiable based on experience)

> Regular Raises

> Medical/Dental/Vision Benefits for working 38 hrs./month After 3

> Months

>

> E-mail resume or paragraph about yourself, plus references: Alana -

> alrt@... <mailto:alrt%40comcast.net>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jeni,

Remember you're the parent. If h didn't have SMA, wouldn't she have time

with friends without a parental figure around? So act as you would if she

didn't have SMA.

Doug

From: [mailto: ] On

Behalf Of Jenifer Woody

Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2008 7:28 AM

Subject: We might be getting care hours for h!

We aren't positive yet, but there is a good chance that she qualifies for

assistance hours. With the program I will get to help her in hiring and

managing her aides herself. Here's my dilemma...

Part of me wants to hire an older Mom or grandma type so that there is more

of a parental influence there, but part of me knows that when I was h's

age I would NOT have wanted someone " old " hanging out all the time. So in

that respect I was thinking about a college student type who would be closer

to a peer than a " Mom. " I want to give her some freedom and autonomy, but I

don't want to give her enough of that rope to hang herself with.

Am I making even the slightest bit of sense?

I guess the real question is: How much freedom do I give her at 12? I don't

know how much I would give her if SMA were not an issue. I can't take my

mother's advise or h would be with a babysitter until she is 35! So I

turn to y'all ;0) You haven't steered me wrong for the past 9 or 10 years,

so I'm guessing I'll get some great words of wisdom in this situation, too!

Love and Hugs

Jeni

[Guest guest]

You're welcome, and yes you may use it. Anyone can.

>

> Thanks Alana. I like your ad. It is very specific and definitely lets

people know what they are applying for. I am going to print that out

(if that's ok) so that when we are writing h's ad she can see what

kind of things she might need to put in.

[Guest guest]

I'm really glad it works for you, !

>

> Thanks for posting your ad Alana. I have my pca ad fashioned after

one you

> posted a few years ago and it works great.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Doug. We're going to go with everyone's advice and allow h to hire

college aged assistants. We talked about it more this morning and she is excited

about being allowed to write her ad, prescreen via e-mail survey, conduct

interviews, hire and manage her assistants. She will even have to budget herself

and decide how much to pay and how many hours she can afford. Through all of

these processes I plan to be her back-up and offer guidance but to ultimately

let her be the one to do it. Of course since she is 12 I will have an absolute

veto power *LOL*

I try to treat her as much like I would if she did not have SMA as possible.

It's really not feasible to go all the way with that, though. h's SMA is not

limited to physical restrictions. Her breathing and swallowing issues make it

hard to leave her with no assistance. That is why we're working on the

assistants now - to give her some autonomy. I guess that makes it make even less

sense to hire someone older *LOL*

I really appreciate all that this group has to offer! Thanks folks!!!!!

 

 Love and Hugs

         Jeni

                              

We might be getting care hours for h!

We aren't positive yet, but there is a good chance that she qualifies for

assistance hours. With the program I will get to help her in hiring and

managing her aides herself. Here's my dilemma...

Part of me wants to hire an older Mom or grandma type so that there is more

of a parental influence there, but part of me knows that when I was h's

age I would NOT have wanted someone " old " hanging out all the time. So in

that respect I was thinking about a college student type who would be closer

to a peer than a " Mom. " I want to give her some freedom and autonomy, but I

don't want to give her enough of that rope to hang herself with.

Am I making even the slightest bit of sense?

I guess the real question is: How much freedom do I give her at 12? I don't

know how much I would give her if SMA were not an issue. I can't take my

mother's advise or h would be with a babysitter until she is 35! So I

turn to y'all ;0) You haven't steered me wrong for the past 9 or 10 years,

so I'm guessing I'll get some great words of wisdom in this situation, too!

Love and Hugs

Jeni

[Guest guest]

Glad you're getting services.

Your place is a difficult one because you are a great mom to not want

your 12 yr old to run 'free range' {as I call it} and I know you

don't want a nannying helper fussing and hovering over your growing

girl everyday. But please consider that there really are some older

assistants you could hire that won't allienate real peers {the unpaid

ones}.

I think age don't matter as much as attitude when hiring assistants.

I've had 19 year old helpers who were reliable beyond their years and

50 year olds stumbling into work drunk at 11 a.m. {on a weekday}.

The emotional quotent is worth more than a chronological age

measurment.

My experiences since 1973- The worst care givers my sister and I ever

had were combination peer/carers. To many boundries blurr, too much

immaturity happens when the care giver monopolizes the disabled

persons' social scene, and too much pain for us happened when a hired

care giver inevitably gets unproffessional and controling while

making the disabled person an 'odd girl out' with peers they knew

before the PCA/Peer was present.

I've experienced the 'hire a peer' care assistants while my older

siblings with SMA and myself were growing up. They never worked out

at all.

Even in my late 30s I experienced this when a neighbor/pca ended up

trying to sabotage my social connections that she'd only met while

working for me. It hurt me to the point of severe clinical

depression to have a person who acted like an ally to my life use my

private life and contacts to gain an untrue 'saintly caregiver' image

for herself while she was escalating her controlling behavior,

isolating me, and then moved on to abusing me verbally, financially,

emotionally and physically.

My opinion- It's best to make sure the pca isn't a peer and try to

get real peers involved though social arenas that are independent and

outside of a paid care giving job position.

>

> We aren't positive yet, but there is a good chance that

she qualifies for assistance hours. With the program I will get to

help her in hiring and managing her aides herself. Here's my

dilemma...

> Part of me wants to hire an older Mom or grandma type so that there

is more of a parental influence there, but part of me knows that when

I was h's age I would NOT have wanted someone " old " hanging out

all the time. So in that respect I was thinking about a college

student type who would be closer to a peer than a " Mom. " I want to

give her some freedom and autonomy, but I don't want to give her

enough of that rope to hang herself with.

> Am I making even the slightest bit of sense? 

> I guess the real question is: How much freedom do I give her at 12?

I don't know how much I would give her if SMA were not an issue. I

can't take my mother's advise or h would be with a babysitter

until she is 35! So I turn to y'all ;0) You haven't steered me

wrong for the past 9 or 10 years, so I'm guessing I'll get some great

words of wisdom in this situation, too!

>  

>  Love and Hugs

>          Jeni

>

>

[Guest guest]

Care givers for guys is not the same as girls

> We aren't positive yet, but there is a good chance that she

qualifies for

> assistance hours. With the program I will get to help her in hiring

and

> managing her aides herself. Here's my dilemma...

> Part of me wants to hire an older Mom or grandma type so that there

is more

> of a parental influence there, but part of me knows that when I was

h's

> age I would NOT have wanted someone " old " hanging out all the time.

So in

> that respect I was thinking about a college student type who would

be closer

> to a peer than a " Mom. " I want to give her some freedom and

autonomy, but I

> don't want to give her enough of that rope to hang herself with.

> Am I making even the slightest bit of sense?

> I guess the real question is: How much freedom do I give her at 12?

I don't

> know how much I would give her if SMA were not an issue. I can't

take my

> mother's advise or h would be with a babysitter until she is

35! So I

> turn to y'all ;0) You haven't steered me wrong for the past 9 or 10

years,

> so I'm guessing I'll get some great words of wisdom in this

situation, too!

>

> Love and Hugs

> Jeni

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Jeni,

I just want to say please stay involved in the hiring process. (I'm sure you

will though)

I think this is the absolute worst part of having a disability. There are some

on this list where hiring is a piece of cake and modesty plays no role in their

lives-which is very nice for them. Then there are those of us who are rather

modest and don't feel comfortable with just anyone helping in such private ways.

We don't even want to have several people because it's just plain hard! I do not

miss one bit the days of trying to find people to help. And I barely needed

anything and it was still a nightmare. I interviewed so many different people

and some were downright scary. I find it extremely stressful and a huge energy

stealing process to go through!

I don't want to scare you or worry you, but I just don't think it is such a

simple thing to do or go though. I don't know , or how comfortable she will

be with these types of things. I hope it is easier for her than it is/was for

me!

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Be a better friend, newshound, and

know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

[Guest guest]

Just wondering, why do you think there's a difference?

Amy

Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

Care givers for guys is not the same as girls

& gt; We aren't positive yet, but there is a good chance that she

qualifies for

& gt; assistance hours. With the program I will get to help her in

hiring

and

& gt; managing her aides herself. Here's my dilemma...

& gt; Part of me wants to hire an older Mom or grandma type so that

there

is more

& gt; of a parental influence there, but part of me knows that when I

was

h's

& gt; age I would NOT have wanted someone " old " hanging out all the

time.

So in

& gt; that respect I was thinking about a college student type who would

be closer

& gt; to a peer than a " Mom. " I want to give her some freedom and

autonomy, but I

& gt; don't want to give her enough of that rope to hang herself with.

& gt; Am I making even the slightest bit of sense?

& gt; I guess the real question is: How much freedom do I give her at

12?

I don't

& gt; know how much I would give her if SMA were not an issue. I can't

take my

& gt; mother's advise or h would be with a babysitter until she is

35! So I

& gt; turn to y'all ;0) You haven't steered me wrong for the past 9 or

10

years,

& gt; so I'm guessing I'll get some great words of wisdom in this

situation, too!

& gt;

& gt; Love and Hugs

& gt; Jeni

& gt;

& gt;

[Guest guest]

No I don't plan to send her in alone ;0) That is part of the reason for the

lengthy questionaire via e-mail before we ever get to an interview. Then after

the interview and once she's hired a few people, it will be completely up to her

how many tasks she wants to train them for. I'm guessing that it will be a while

before she wants to train anyone to help with toileting or dressing, and that is

ok. This is an intro to caregivers and I will still do all of her care that she

wants me to do.

 

 Love and Hugs

         Jeni

                              

Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

Hi Jeni,

I just want to say please stay involved in the hiring process. (I'm sure you

will though)

I think this is the absolute worst part of having a disability. There are some

on this list where hiring is a piece of cake and modesty plays no role in their

lives-which is very nice for them. Then there are those of us who are rather

modest and don't feel comfortable with just anyone helping in such private ways.

We don't even want to have several people because it's just plain hard! I do not

miss one bit the days of trying to find people to help. And I barely needed

anything and it was still a nightmare. I interviewed so many different people

and some were downright scary. I find it extremely stressful and a huge energy

stealing process to go through!

I don't want to scare you or worry you, but I just don't think it is such a

simple thing to do or go though. I don't know , or how comfortable she will

be with these types of things. I hope it is easier for her than it is/was for

me!

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

Be a better friend, newshound, and

know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile. /

;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Be a better friend, newshound, and

know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

[Guest guest]

i too get people to fill in an online application form. i then do an

interview over the phone of those whose forms were promising (if you decided

to add this stage this might be a good bit for you to do as a mum), and only

those who pass the telephone interview get to meet me face to face for an

interview and know my real name etc. i use the telephone screening bit to

totally check on the practical stuff such as they are happy to lift, can

drive, understand pay has to be legal, can do the hours as stated,

understand the level of infection control needed with washing hands etc and

care around catching colds/flu, and encourage them to ask about any nagging

concerns they have at that point and check they still want to be considered.

too often in the past i have gone to the trouble of interviewing people who

then turn out not to quite fit the practical side, like one woman could

drive but only if her dog was with her, another wanted to be paid cash in

hand due to other benefits, yet another had thought it was ok to go and do a

one hour driving job whilst i was in bed. i personally dont like face to

face interviewing so like to really ensure the people who do get to that

stage are suitable for appointment. here is the website i use to recruit if

you are interested

http://www.wincham.plus.com

cheers

linda

2008/5/5 Jenifer Woody <mom2armybratz@...>:

> No I don't plan to send her in alone ;0) That is part of the reason for

> the lengthy questionaire via e-mail before we ever get to an interview. Then

> after the interview and once she's hired a few people, it will be completely

> up to her how many tasks she wants to train them for. I'm guessing that it

> will be a while before she wants to train anyone to help with toileting or

> dressing, and that is ok. This is an intro to caregivers and I will still do

> all of her care that she wants me to do.

>

>

> Love and Hugs

> Jeni

>

>

> Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

>

> Hi Jeni,

> I just want to say please stay involved in the hiring process. (I'm sure

> you will though)

> I think this is the absolute worst part of having a disability. There are

> some on this list where hiring is a piece of cake and modesty plays no role

> in their lives-which is very nice for them. Then there are those of us who

> are rather modest and don't feel comfortable with just anyone helping in

> such private ways. We don't even want to have several people because it's

> just plain hard! I do not miss one bit the days of trying to find people to

> help. And I barely needed anything and it was still a nightmare. I

> interviewed so many different people and some were downright scary. I find

> it extremely stressful and a huge energy stealing process to go through!

> I don't want to scare you or worry you, but I just don't think it is such

> a simple thing to do or go though. I don't know , or how comfortable she

> will be with these types of things. I hope it is easier for her than it

> is/was for me!

>

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> Be a better friend, newshound, and

> know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.

/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

>

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Be a better friend, newshound, and

> know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

> http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks !

 

 Love and Hugs

         Jeni

                              

Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

>

> Hi Jeni,

> I just want to say please stay involved in the hiring process. (I'm sure

> you will though)

> I think this is the absolute worst part of having a disability. There are

> some on this list where hiring is a piece of cake and modesty plays no role

> in their lives-which is very nice for them. Then there are those of us who

> are rather modest and don't feel comfortable with just anyone helping in

> such private ways. We don't even want to have several people because it's

> just plain hard! I do not miss one bit the days of trying to find people to

> help. And I barely needed anything and it was still a nightmare. I

> interviewed so many different people and some were downright scary. I find

> it extremely stressful and a huge energy stealing process to go through!

> I don't want to scare you or worry you, but I just don't think it is such

> a simple thing to do or go though. I don't know , or how comfortable she

> will be with these types of things. I hope it is easier for her than it

> is/was for me!

>

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> Be a better friend, newshound, and

> know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile. /;_

ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

>

>

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> Be a better friend, newshound, and

> know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

> http://mobile. / ;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow that is an awesome website! another question I forgot to ask last

night is ­ do you guys let people work when they are sick with colds/flu?

On 5/5/08 7:56 AM, " Moss " <lindajmoss@...> wrote:

> i too get people to fill in an online application form. i then do an

> interview over the phone of those whose forms were promising (if you decided

> to add this stage this might be a good bit for you to do as a mum), and only

> those who pass the telephone interview get to meet me face to face for an

> interview and know my real name etc. i use the telephone screening bit to

> totally check on the practical stuff such as they are happy to lift, can

> drive, understand pay has to be legal, can do the hours as stated,

> understand the level of infection control needed with washing hands etc and

> care around catching colds/flu, and encourage them to ask about any nagging

> concerns they have at that point and check they still want to be considered.

> too often in the past i have gone to the trouble of interviewing people who

> then turn out not to quite fit the practical side, like one woman could

> drive but only if her dog was with her, another wanted to be paid cash in

> hand due to other benefits, yet another had thought it was ok to go and do a

> one hour driving job whilst i was in bed. i personally dont like face to

> face interviewing so like to really ensure the people who do get to that

> stage are suitable for appointment. here is the website i use to recruit if

> you are interested

> http://www.wincham.plus.com

>

> cheers

> linda

>

> 2008/5/5 Jenifer Woody <mom2armybratz@...

> <mailto:mom2armybratz%40> >:

>

>> > No I don't plan to send her in alone ;0) That is part of the reason for

>> > the lengthy questionaire via e-mail before we ever get to an interview.

>> Then

>> > after the interview and once she's hired a few people, it will be

>> completely

>> > up to her how many tasks she wants to train them for. I'm guessing that it

>> > will be a while before she wants to train anyone to help with toileting or

>> > dressing, and that is ok. This is an intro to caregivers and I will still

>> do

>> > all of her care that she wants me to do.

>> >

>> >

>> > Love and Hugs

>> > Jeni

>> >

>> >

>> > Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

>> >

>> > Hi Jeni,

>> > I just want to say please stay involved in the hiring process. (I'm sure

>> > you will though)

>> > I think this is the absolute worst part of having a disability. There are

>> > some on this list where hiring is a piece of cake and modesty plays no role

>> > in their lives-which is very nice for them. Then there are those of us who

>> > are rather modest and don't feel comfortable with just anyone helping in

>> > such private ways. We don't even want to have several people because it's

>> > just plain hard! I do not miss one bit the days of trying to find people to

>> > help. And I barely needed anything and it was still a nightmare. I

>> > interviewed so many different people and some were downright scary. I find

>> > it extremely stressful and a huge energy stealing process to go through!

>> > I don't want to scare you or worry you, but I just don't think it is such

>> > a simple thing to do or go though. I don't know , or how comfortable >>

she

>> > will be with these types of things. I hope it is easier for her than it

>> > is/was for me!

>> >

>> > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

>> > Be a better friend, newshound, and

>> > know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.

>> /;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

>> >

>> >

>> > __________________________________________________________

>> > Be a better friend, newshound, and

>> > know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

>> > http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

>> >

>> >

[Guest guest]

I make it very clear that if you are sick with more than allergies or

a runny nose, DO NOT COME! I cannot risk getting ill. I will find

someone to fill their shift instead. Also, if people do have

allergies/runny noses, I request that they frequently wash their hands

and wipe down surfaces they touch. Usually I ask that they wash before

touching me, and any time they touch their face.

<3Kendra

>

> > i too get people to fill in an online application form. i then do an

> > interview over the phone of those whose forms were promising (if

you decided

> > to add this stage this might be a good bit for you to do as a

mum), and only

> > those who pass the telephone interview get to meet me face to face

for an

> > interview and know my real name etc. i use the telephone screening

bit to

> > totally check on the practical stuff such as they are happy to

lift, can

> > drive, understand pay has to be legal, can do the hours as stated,

> > understand the level of infection control needed with washing

hands etc and

> > care around catching colds/flu, and encourage them to ask about

any nagging

> > concerns they have at that point and check they still want to be

considered.

> > too often in the past i have gone to the trouble of interviewing

people who

> > then turn out not to quite fit the practical side, like one woman

could

> > drive but only if her dog was with her, another wanted to be paid

cash in

> > hand due to other benefits, yet another had thought it was ok to

go and do a

> > one hour driving job whilst i was in bed. i personally dont like

face to

> > face interviewing so like to really ensure the people who do get

to that

> > stage are suitable for appointment. here is the website i use to

recruit if

> > you are interested

> > http://www.wincham.plus.com

> >

> > cheers

> > linda

> >

> > 2008/5/5 Jenifer Woody <mom2armybratz@...

> > <mailto:mom2armybratz%40> >:

> >

> >> > No I don't plan to send her in alone ;0) That is part of the

reason for

> >> > the lengthy questionaire via e-mail before we ever get to an

interview.

> >> Then

> >> > after the interview and once she's hired a few people, it will be

> >> completely

> >> > up to her how many tasks she wants to train them for. I'm

guessing that it

> >> > will be a while before she wants to train anyone to help with

toileting or

> >> > dressing, and that is ok. This is an intro to caregivers and I

will still

> >> do

> >> > all of her care that she wants me to do.

> >> >

> >> >

> >> > Love and Hugs

> >> > Jeni

> >> >

> >> >

> >> > Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

> >> >

> >> > Hi Jeni,

> >> > I just want to say please stay involved in the hiring process.

(I'm sure

> >> > you will though)

> >> > I think this is the absolute worst part of having a disability.

There are

> >> > some on this list where hiring is a piece of cake and modesty

plays no role

> >> > in their lives-which is very nice for them. Then there are

those of us who

> >> > are rather modest and don't feel comfortable with just anyone

helping in

> >> > such private ways. We don't even want to have several people

because it's

> >> > just plain hard! I do not miss one bit the days of trying to

find people to

> >> > help. And I barely needed anything and it was still a nightmare. I

> >> > interviewed so many different people and some were downright

scary. I find

> >> > it extremely stressful and a huge energy stealing process to go

through!

> >> > I don't want to scare you or worry you, but I just don't think

it is such

> >> > a simple thing to do or go though. I don't know , or how

comfortable >>

> she

> >> > will be with these types of things. I hope it is easier for her

than it

> >> > is/was for me!

> >> >

> >> > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> >> > Be a better friend, newshound, and

> >> > know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.

> >> /;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

> >> >

> >> >

> >> > __________________________________________________________

> >> > Be a better friend, newshound, and

> >> > know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

> >> > http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

> >> >

> >> >

[Guest guest]

PCA management is hard enough for adults to manage. Throwing a 12

year old into the deep end of that is cruel and foolish.

Most sma-ers are smart beyond their years but don't wreck a kids

childhood with the stress of employee management.

>

> Jeni,

>

> I personally think two different people more her age will better

> prepare her for the realities of attendant management.

>

> I recommend two because then there will usually be a non-mom

backup,

> and it will teach h how to schedule around her own and her

> attendants' needs. This will also help decrease person-specific

> dependence. It's scary to hire new people after I'm so used to

> working with someone(s) for a long time, but the reality is that

> attendants are fairly high turnover. I have seven regular

attendants

> who all communicate with each other by e-mail and phone, keeping me

> in the loop, about shift swapping, substituting, and coordinating

> holidays and vacations. It's important to keep people happy in

this

> relatively low-paying job. My longest regular attendant is Carl

(8+

> years). My newest is Chaim (2 months). Xarick has been working

for

> me for 4 or 5 years, but it's on and off because he travels and

lives

> part-time in Tennessee. This is perfect because he always ends up

> back in California after the beet harvest and right when I need

> holiday substitutes in November and December. Attendants'

schedules

> tend to change 2-3 times a year whether they're students or not.

>

> I recommend younger people because attendant-client relationships

> usually work out better and last longer when the duo have more in

> common. I hire artists, punks, political activists, anarchists,

> foodies, environmentalists, writers, smart-asses, etc. The younger

> ones may indeed be more difficult to manage, but better for h

to

> learn how to develop this required management skill while you're

> around to teach her and do damage control.

>

> Here is an ad I use:

>

> Seeking Personal Assistant(s)

>

> Available in Late May

> Mondays and/or Tuesdays - 7:30 a.m. (3 - 5 hours)

> Sundays - 8:30 p.m. (2 - 3 hours)

>

> I'm an active 41 year old woman who lives with my partner and 2

> cats. I need assistance with most aspects of my personal care,

> cooking, household chores include home maintenance and light

repairs,

> and administrative tasks. I also need some who can drive me in my

> van. There may be opportunities to travel with us. I use a power

> wheelchair and numerous home health gadgets. Our home is 5 blocks

> from the N. Berkeley BART Station, a mile west of UCB, and on the

51

> & 88 Bus lines.

>

> I have recently retired as a disability benefits advocate and have

re-

> launched my career as a writer. When I'm not working, I enjoy

> spending time with my partner, friends, and family. I like

cooking,

> listening to music, writing, playing games, watching movies,

beading,

> drawing, reading, computer geeking, gardening, chatting over tea,

and

> such. I am a responsible employer with 25 years of experience

> hiring, training and working with my assistants.

>

> Personal Care

> -Bathing (Bed Bath)

> -Bathrooming (Bedpan & Catheter)

> -Dressing

> -Transferring (55 lb. Cradle Lift - Yes, I'm really small)

> -Occasional Feeding

> -Grooming

>

> Household Stuff

> -Cooking

> -Dishes

> -Making Bed

> -Tidying Up

> -Plant Care

> -Sweeping/Mopping

> -Errands

> -Driving My Van (I strongly prefer you can drive)

> -Cat Care

>

> Clerical (Minimal)

> -Filing

> -Bill Paying

> -Correspondence

>

> Requirements

> -Male or Female

> -Comfort with Personal Care

> -Ability to Readily Lift 55 lbs.

> -Prompt and Reliable (sick days must be very rare, though,

> occasionally swapping shifts with other assistants is fine)

> -Must Be Able to Follow Directions

> -Good Sense of Humor

> -Detail-Oriented Quick Learner

> -Strong Communication Skills

> -Fluent in English

> -Valid Driver's License with Good Record

> -Social Security #

> -Good References

> -I am willing to Train/No Attendant Work Experience Necessary

> -No perfume

> -No homophobes please

>

> Rate of Pay:

> $12 Training

> $12.50 Starting (negotiable based on experience)

> Regular Raises

> Medical/Dental/Vision Benefits for working 38 hrs./month After 3

> Months

>

> E-mail resume or paragraph about yourself, plus references: Alana -

> alrt@...

>

[Guest guest]

I advertise for PCAs through college depts of nursing, humanities,

PT, hospice, and other courses where people care about human beings.

Even funeral, ICU, ER, proffessionals are good hiring pools because a

side job with me is a line of work where caring for people is

happening in a less stressful setting. Some of my best PCAs look me

up for a change of pace that dosen't revolve around death, combat,

dementia, crime enforcement, etc. {then they have to go home to that

again }

A big thing I've learned is to put in the ad " Learn about independent

living and disability rights from a relaxed one on one home setting " ,

and, " My disabilities are physical only. I live in an intergrated

community setting. This is not a elder care, mental retardation,

institutional or under table work setting. " as a footnote.

I found it's better to save my personal hobby info for the in person

interview. I personally don't care if the PCA likes Ace of Base,

Ozzy, ny Cash or raising ferrits and doing macrame' because I

need their paid time spent doing range of motion, driving, showers,

pulmonary, bathroom stuff, and if time prevails, other survival tasks

like meals and laundry.

I think putting all your hobbies, career goals, dreams, etc makes an

ad for employment position could give people amunition to manipulate

you at the face to face interview. An applicant can be acting like

they " love love love " every interest you mentioned in your ad to gain

a force teamed trust.

Having common interests are important to avoid clashes. IE- Things

like hiring a religious fundementalist devout type to help you set up

your physic hobbies or hiring someone who's phobic to your service

dog isn't going to work very well.

Big mistake my mom used to do is expect my PCAs to do her own

laundry, cleaning chores like a merry-maid when the PCA and I had

already finished my laundry, bedroom clean up, meals for me etc.

This made PCAs quit the fastest. {not thinking you'd do that though}

>

> Thanks Alana. I like your ad. It is very specific and definitely

lets people know what they are applying for. I am going to print that

out (if that's ok) so that when we are writing h's ad she can see

what kind of things she might need to put in.

> I think that I am going to lean towards the college age for h's

assistants. Worst case scenario (nobody can cover a shift that she

wanted free of me *LOL*) she still has me and my mother! We're not

throwing her to the wolves and this is not a full-time attendant

situation. We're starting now so that by the time she is old

enough to be out on her own she will be really ready for everything

that comes with it. 

> Thanks again for your help! 

>  Love and Hugs

>          Jeni

>                               

>

>

>

> Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

>

>

> Jeni,

>

> I personally think two different people more her age will better

> prepare her for the realities of attendant management.

>

> I recommend two because then there will usually be a non-mom

backup,

> and it will teach h how to schedule around her own and her

> attendants' needs. This will also help decrease person-specific

> dependence. It's scary to hire new people after I'm so used to

> working with someone(s) for a long time, but the reality is that

> attendants are fairly high turnover. I have seven regular

attendants

> who all communicate with each other by e-mail and phone, keeping me

> in the loop, about shift swapping, substituting, and coordinating

> holidays and vacations. It's important to keep people happy in this

> relatively low-paying job. My longest regular attendant is Carl (8+

> years). My newest is Chaim (2 months). Xarick has been working for

> me for 4 or 5 years, but it's on and off because he travels and

lives

> part-time in Tennessee. This is perfect because he always ends up

> back in California after the beet harvest and right when I need

> holiday substitutes in November and December. Attendants' schedules

> tend to change 2-3 times a year whether they're students or not.

>

> I recommend younger people because attendant-client relationships

> usually work out better and last longer when the duo have more in

> common. I hire artists, punks, political activists, anarchists,

> foodies, environmentalists, writers, smart-asses, etc. The younger

> ones may indeed be more difficult to manage, but better for h

to

> learn how to develop this required management skill while you're

> around to teach her and do damage control.

>

> Here is an ad I use:

>

> Seeking Personal Assistant(s)

>

> Available in Late May

> Mondays and/or Tuesdays - 7:30 a.m. (3 - 5 hours)

> Sundays - 8:30 p.m. (2 - 3 hours)

>

> I'm an active 41 year old woman who lives with my partner and 2

> cats. I need assistance with most aspects of my personal care,

> cooking, household chores include home maintenance and light

repairs,

> and administrative tasks. I also need some who can drive me in my

> van. There may be opportunities to travel with us. I use a power

> wheelchair and numerous home health gadgets. Our home is 5 blocks

> from the N. Berkeley BART Station, a mile west of UCB, and on the

51

> & 88 Bus lines.

>

> I have recently retired as a disability benefits advocate and have

re-

> launched my career as a writer. When I'm not working, I enjoy

> spending time with my partner, friends, and family. I like cooking,

> listening to music, writing, playing games, watching movies,

beading,

> drawing, reading, computer geeking, gardening, chatting over tea,

and

> such. I am a responsible employer with 25 years of experience

> hiring, training and working with my assistants.

>

> Personal Care

> -Bathing (Bed Bath)

> -Bathrooming (Bedpan & Catheter)

> -Dressing

> -Transferring (55 lb. Cradle Lift - Yes, I'm really small)

> -Occasional Feeding

> -Grooming

>

> Household Stuff

> -Cooking

> -Dishes

> -Making Bed

> -Tidying Up

> -Plant Care

> -Sweeping/Mopping

> -Errands

> -Driving My Van (I strongly prefer you can drive)

> -Cat Care

>

> Clerical (Minimal)

> -Filing

> -Bill Paying

> -Correspondence

>

> Requirements

> -Male or Female

> -Comfort with Personal Care

> -Ability to Readily Lift 55 lbs.

> -Prompt and Reliable (sick days must be very rare, though,

> occasionally swapping shifts with other assistants is fine)

> -Must Be Able to Follow Directions

> -Good Sense of Humor

> -Detail-Oriented Quick Learner

> -Strong Communication Skills

> -Fluent in English

> -Valid Driver's License with Good Record

> -Social Security #

> -Good References

> -I am willing to Train/No Attendant Work Experience Necessary

> -No perfume

> -No homophobes please

>

> Rate of Pay:

> $12 Training

> $12.50 Starting (negotiable based on experience)

> Regular Raises

> Medical/Dental/ Vision Benefits for working 38 hrs./month After 3

> Months

>

> E-mail resume or paragraph about yourself, plus references: Alana -

> alrtcomcast (DOT) net

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hell No

>

> > i too get people to fill in an online application form. i then do

an

> > interview over the phone of those whose forms were promising (if

you decided

> > to add this stage this might be a good bit for you to do as a

mum), and only

> > those who pass the telephone interview get to meet me face to

face for an

> > interview and know my real name etc. i use the telephone

screening bit to

> > totally check on the practical stuff such as they are happy to

lift, can

> > drive, understand pay has to be legal, can do the hours as stated,

> > understand the level of infection control needed with washing

hands etc and

> > care around catching colds/flu, and encourage them to ask about

any nagging

> > concerns they have at that point and check they still want to be

considered.

> > too often in the past i have gone to the trouble of interviewing

people who

> > then turn out not to quite fit the practical side, like one woman

could

> > drive but only if her dog was with her, another wanted to be paid

cash in

> > hand due to other benefits, yet another had thought it was ok to

go and do a

> > one hour driving job whilst i was in bed. i personally dont like

face to

> > face interviewing so like to really ensure the people who do get

to that

> > stage are suitable for appointment. here is the website i use to

recruit if

> > you are interested

> > http://www.wincham.plus.com

> >

> > cheers

> > linda

> >

> > 2008/5/5 Jenifer Woody <mom2armybratz@...

> > <mailto:mom2armybratz%40> >:

> >

> >> > No I don't plan to send her in alone ;0) That is part of the

reason for

> >> > the lengthy questionaire via e-mail before we ever get to an

interview.

> >> Then

> >> > after the interview and once she's hired a few people, it will

be

> >> completely

> >> > up to her how many tasks she wants to train them for. I'm

guessing that it

> >> > will be a while before she wants to train anyone to help with

toileting or

> >> > dressing, and that is ok. This is an intro to caregivers and I

will still

> >> do

> >> > all of her care that she wants me to do.

> >> >

> >> >

> >> > Love and Hugs

> >> > Jeni

> >> >

> >> >

> >> > Re: We might be getting care hours for

h!

> >> >

> >> > Hi Jeni,

> >> > I just want to say please stay involved in the hiring process.

(I'm sure

> >> > you will though)

> >> > I think this is the absolute worst part of having a

disability. There are

> >> > some on this list where hiring is a piece of cake and modesty

plays no role

> >> > in their lives-which is very nice for them. Then there are

those of us who

> >> > are rather modest and don't feel comfortable with just anyone

helping in

> >> > such private ways. We don't even want to have several people

because it's

> >> > just plain hard! I do not miss one bit the days of trying to

find people to

> >> > help. And I barely needed anything and it was still a

nightmare. I

> >> > interviewed so many different people and some were downright

scary. I find

> >> > it extremely stressful and a huge energy stealing process to

go through!

> >> > I don't want to scare you or worry you, but I just don't think

it is such

> >> > a simple thing to do or go though. I don't know , or how

comfortable >>

> she

> >> > will be with these types of things. I hope it is easier for

her than it

> >> > is/was for me!

> >> >

> >> > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________

_

> >> > Be a better friend, newshound, and

> >> > know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.

> >> /;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

> >> >

> >> >

> >> > __________________________________________________________

> >> > Be a better friend, newshound, and

> >> > know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

> >> > http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

> >> >

> >> >

[Guest guest]

I think I should clarify what we do and do not expect, because we would

absolutely NOT throw her in with no safeguards or assistance. First, she's 12!

I am not quitting on her and I will not expect her assistants to take over. This

is going to be something that we have a few days a week (for now) so that she

can have some autonomy from me like any kid her age would. Also, in

the beginning her assistants won't even be performing the extremely personal

tasks (toileting) for her. That will wait until she has developed some level of

comfort and wants to train an individual. It will go at her speed!

Second, while we will hand over a lot of the management jobs, we will always be

in the background to make sure that h is taking care of her assistants and

they are doing what she needs done. We will have to make sure now that h

learns the right balance between " I am the employer " and taking advantage of her

assistants (she just *might* try to get them to do her math homework! *LOL*) We

will be right by her every step of the way.

I personally feel like we are taking the right steps to ensure that when she is

an adult she will be well prepared to handle management on her own without being

thrown into the deep end at that time. She can learn it a little at a time but

still be completely involved in the process. This is a way to enable and empower

her! I think it would be cruel and foolish to baby and coddle her until she's an

adult and then expect her to figure it all out for herself!

 

 Love and Hugs

         Jeni

                              

Re: We might be getting care hours for h!

PCA management is hard enough for adults to manage. Throwing a 12

year old into the deep end of that is cruel and foolish.

Most sma-ers are smart beyond their years but don't wreck a kids

childhood with the stress of employee management.

>

> Jeni,

>

> I personally think two different people more her age will better

> prepare her for the realities of attendant management.

>

> I recommend two because then there will usually be a non-mom

backup,

> and it will teach h how to schedule around her own and her

> attendants' needs. This will also help decrease person-specific

> dependence. It's scary to hire new people after I'm so used to

> working with someone(s) for a long time, but the reality is that

> attendants are fairly high turnover. I have seven regular

attendants

> who all communicate with each other by e-mail and phone, keeping me

> in the loop, about shift swapping, substituting, and coordinating

> holidays and vacations. It's important to keep people happy in

this

> relatively low-paying job. My longest regular attendant is Carl

(8+

> years). My newest is Chaim (2 months). Xarick has been working

for

> me for 4 or 5 years, but it's on and off because he travels and

lives

> part-time in Tennessee. This is perfect because he always ends up

> back in California after the beet harvest and right when I need

> holiday substitutes in November and December. Attendants'

schedules

> tend to change 2-3 times a year whether they're students or not.

>

> I recommend younger people because attendant-client relationships

> usually work out better and last longer when the duo have more in

> common. I hire artists, punks, political activists, anarchists,

> foodies, environmentalists, writers, smart-asses, etc. The younger

> ones may indeed be more difficult to manage, but better for h

to

> learn how to develop this required management skill while you're

> around to teach her and do damage control.

>

> Here is an ad I use:

>

> Seeking Personal Assistant(s)

>

> Available in Late May

> Mondays and/or Tuesdays - 7:30 a.m. (3 - 5 hours)

> Sundays - 8:30 p.m. (2 - 3 hours)

>

> I'm an active 41 year old woman who lives with my partner and 2

> cats. I need assistance with most aspects of my personal care,

> cooking, household chores include home maintenance and light

repairs,

> and administrative tasks. I also need some who can drive me in my

> van. There may be opportunities to travel with us. I use a power

> wheelchair and numerous home health gadgets. Our home is 5 blocks

> from the N. Berkeley BART Station, a mile west of UCB, and on the

51

> & 88 Bus lines.

>

> I have recently retired as a disability benefits advocate and have

re-

> launched my career as a writer. When I'm not working, I enjoy

> spending time with my partner, friends, and family. I like

cooking,

> listening to music, writing, playing games, watching movies,

beading,

> drawing, reading, computer geeking, gardening, chatting over tea,

and

> such. I am a responsible employer with 25 years of experience

> hiring, training and working with my assistants.

>

> Personal Care

> -Bathing (Bed Bath)

> -Bathrooming (Bedpan & Catheter)

> -Dressing

> -Transferring (55 lb. Cradle Lift - Yes, I'm really small)

> -Occasional Feeding

> -Grooming

>

> Household Stuff

> -Cooking

> -Dishes

> -Making Bed

> -Tidying Up

> -Plant Care

> -Sweeping/Mopping

> -Errands

> -Driving My Van (I strongly prefer you can drive)

> -Cat Care

>

> Clerical (Minimal)

> -Filing

> -Bill Paying

> -Correspondence

>

> Requirements

> -Male or Female

> -Comfort with Personal Care

> -Ability to Readily Lift 55 lbs.

> -Prompt and Reliable (sick days must be very rare, though,

> occasionally swapping shifts with other assistants is fine)

> -Must Be Able to Follow Directions

> -Good Sense of Humor

> -Detail-Oriented Quick Learner

> -Strong Communication Skills

> -Fluent in English

> -Valid Driver's License with Good Record

> -Social Security #

> -Good References

> -I am willing to Train/No Attendant Work Experience Necessary

> -No perfume

> -No homophobes please

>

> Rate of Pay:

> $12 Training

> $12.50 Starting (negotiable based on experience)

> Regular Raises

> Medical/Dental/ Vision Benefits for working 38 hrs./month After 3

> Months

>

> E-mail resume or paragraph about yourself, plus references: Alana -

> alrt@...

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Be a better friend, newshound, and

know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ