Re: Online Dating

[Guest guest]

Tom,

This was more of an experiment than a serious attempt to find someone.

[Guest guest]

, , .

(Sigh)

Some of the best potential matches for you are right HERE.

How do you think I got involved with Inger?

Or with Evan?

We " met " in this forum.

Personally, I think you and would make a great match.

She took an interest in you right away when I " promoted " you.

Tom

Something interesting has just come up along these lines. About a

year ago I made a profile on one of online dating services. Which one

I won't say, but if you live in the US you have doubtless seen many

commercials for it on TV. That profile was very true about me. In the

entire year, only one person has tried to communicate with me and

they were far from a real match.

Later, I made another account with another email address and made

basically the opposite profile. This " fellow " was tall, well built,

athletic, outgoing, liked bars, dancing, clubs all that kind of junk.

That one actually got several hits within days of its going hot.

Well, that service put my accounts on hold because of lack of

activity. The first one it couldn't be helped and with the second,

the profile was as far as I could ethically take that charade. I

still get notices now and then from the service, and a few days ago I

reupped both of the accounts. Still nothing on the first, but the

second has already had 3 hits. By hits I mean site selected matches

that have chosen to ask for communication.

I am tempted to close down the second one and try a new one. In this

case I would redo my original true profile to copy all the answers

and put them in the new one almost identically. The only thing I

would change would be the height and weight. I'm certain that has a

lot to do with it. My actual height/weight is 5'4 " / 155 pounds. That

profile has only had one hit in a year. The other was listed as 6'3 " /

210 and that one has had several just in days.

If I do make that other profile, I'll let you know the results.

[Guest guest]

Subtle as a truck... :-)

Oh well, that's Aspie straightforwardness for ya.

Inger

P.S. And if this doesn't work out, you always have 's dating site for

Aspies. Where was that link again..?

Re: Online Dating

, , .

(Sigh)

Some of the best potential matches for you are right HERE.

How do you think I got involved with Inger?

Or with Evan?

We " met " in this forum.

Personally, I think you and would make a great match.

She took an interest in you right away when I " promoted " you.

Tom

Something interesting has just come up along these lines. About a

year ago I made a profile on one of online dating services. Which one

I won't say, but if you live in the US you have doubtless seen many

commercials for it on TV. That profile was very true about me. In the

entire year, only one person has tried to communicate with me and

they were far from a real match.

Later, I made another account with another email address and made

basically the opposite profile. This " fellow " was tall, well built,

athletic, outgoing, liked bars, dancing, clubs all that kind of junk.

That one actually got several hits within days of its going hot.

Well, that service put my accounts on hold because of lack of

activity. The first one it couldn't be helped and with the second,

the profile was as far as I could ethically take that charade. I

still get notices now and then from the service, and a few days ago I

reupped both of the accounts. Still nothing on the first, but the

second has already had 3 hits. By hits I mean site selected matches

that have chosen to ask for communication.

I am tempted to close down the second one and try a new one. In this

case I would redo my original true profile to copy all the answers

and put them in the new one almost identically. The only thing I

would change would be the height and weight. I'm certain that has a

lot to do with it. My actual height/weight is 5'4 " / 155 pounds. That

profile has only had one hit in a year. The other was listed as 6'3 " /

210 and that one has had several just in days.

If I do make that other profile, I'll let you know the results.

FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and

acceptance. Everyone is valued.

Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the

folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

[Guest guest]

,

I know that.

And I wasn't trying to embarrass you or , but she did ask you to

put up a picture once.

And she did applaud you when I gave you more authority here.

Just thought there might be something there, and if there

was...why...I have no problem playing cupid.

Tom

Tom,

This was more of an experiment than a serious attempt to find

someone.

[Guest guest]

What's the dating site?

>

> Something interesting has just come up along these lines. About a

> year ago I made a profile on one of online dating services. Which

one

> I won't say, but if you live in the US you have doubtless seen many

> commercials for it on TV. That profile was very true about me. In

the

> entire year, only one person has tried to communicate with me and

> they were far from a real match.

>

> Later, I made another account with another email address and made

> basically the opposite profile. This " fellow " was tall, well built,

> athletic, outgoing, liked bars, dancing, clubs all that kind of

junk.

> That one actually got several hits within days of its going hot.

>

> Well, that service put my accounts on hold because of lack of

> activity. The first one it couldn't be helped and with the second,

> the profile was as far as I could ethically take that charade. I

> still get notices now and then from the service, and a few days ago

I

> reupped both of the accounts. Still nothing on the first, but the

> second has already had 3 hits. By hits I mean site selected matches

> that have chosen to ask for communication.

>

> I am tempted to close down the second one and try a new one. In this

> case I would redo my original true profile to copy all the answers

> and put them in the new one almost identically. The only thing I

> would change would be the height and weight. I'm certain that has a

> lot to do with it. My actual height/weight is 5'4 " / 155 pounds. That

> profile has only had one hit in a year. The other was listed as

6'3 " /

> 210 and that one has had several just in days.

>

> If I do make that other profile, I'll let you know the results.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

support and

> acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page

in the

> folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

>

[Guest guest]

Back in the days when I desperately wanted to get laid, I tried

online dating too. Gave it up, because 99% of these profiles are fake

and because I decieded to become asexual after i got my dx.

> Something interesting has just come up along these lines. About a

year ago I

> made a profile on one of online dating services. Which one I won't

say, but

> if you live in the US you have doubtless seen many commercials for

it on TV.

> That profile was very true about me. In the entire year, only one

person has

> tried to communicate with me and they were far from a real match.

>

> Later, I made another account with another email address and made

basically

> the opposite profile. This " fellow " was tall, well built, athletic,

outgoing,

> liked bars, dancing, clubs all that kind of junk. That one actually

got

> several hits within days of its going hot.

>

> Well, that service put my accounts on hold because of lack of

activity. The

> first one it couldn't be helped and with the second, the profile

was as far as

> I could ethically take that charade. I still get notices now and

then from

> the service, and a few days ago I reupped both of the accounts.

Still nothing

> on the first, but the second has already had 3 hits. By hits I

mean site

> selected matches that have chosen to ask for communication.

>

> I am tempted to close down the second one and try a new one. In

this case I

> would redo my original true profile to copy all the answers and put

them in

> the new one almost identically. The only thing I would change

would be the

> height and weight. I'm certain that has a lot to do with it. My

actual

> height/weight is 5'4 " / 155 pounds. That profile has only had one

hit in a year. The

> other was listed as 6'3 " / 210 and that one has had several just in

days.

>

> If I do make that other profile, I'll let you know the results.

>

>

[Guest guest]

> Something interesting has just come up along these lines. About a year ago I

> made a profile on one of online dating services. Which one I won't say, but

> if you live in the US you have doubtless seen many commercials for it on TV.

> That profile was very true about me. In the entire year, only one person has

> tried to communicate with me and they were far from a real match.

I've joined one too, and have gotten a fair

amount of activity in the past month. At

least initially. Whenever I ask my potential

suitors to tell me about themselves, I never

hear from them again. And what I find

particularly odd is that when I check their

profiles of " who I'd like to meet, " I almost

never match. I don't get that one.

> Later, I made another account with another email address and made basically

> the opposite profile. This " fellow " was tall, well built, athletic, outgoing,

> liked bars, dancing, clubs all that kind of junk. That one actually got

> several hits within days of its going hot.

Lots of people say that it's what's on the

inside that counts. I have yet to prove that

to be true. Most people don't look past the

outside unless they have to. Physical

attributes & first impressions count.

[Guest guest]

Tom:

> , , .

>

> (Sigh)

>

> Some of the best potential matches for you are right HERE.

>

> How do you think I got involved with Inger?

>

> Or with Evan?

>

> We " met " in this forum.

>

> Personally, I think you and would make a great match.

>

> She took an interest in you right away when I " promoted " you.

>

>

I agree. The dating sites are worthless because they have no idea

how to match up autistics.

I also tested a major dating site just for fun, but have similar experiences

as . Still, I am married since 14 years, so there obviously are

possible matches, and if the site had the ability to find matches for

autistics, this would be reflected in possible answers from autistics.

Leif

[Guest guest]

caltrec10:

> I've joined one too, and have gotten a fair

> amount of activity in the past month. At

> least initially. Whenever I ask my potential

> suitors to tell me about themselves, I never

> hear from them again. And what I find

> particularly odd is that when I check their

> profiles of " who I'd like to meet, " I almost

> never match. I don't get that one.

Simple. These dating sites are made up with

NT-psychology in mind, and when autistics

enter them they will fail because autistic " chemistry "

is very different from NTs.

> Lots of people say that it's what's on the

> inside that counts. I have yet to prove that

> to be true. Most people don't look past the

> outside unless they have to. Physical

> attributes & first impressions count.

It might be more of the inside for autitics,

but since those are rarely matched-up on

these sites, physical attributes would be

what count. Besides, NTs easily spot

an Aspie when it is about relationships.

Leif

[Guest guest]

I have two words about online dating: FORGET IT!

Online dating requires a lot of patience, which I don't have much of. I've tried it, and it didn't work for me. Not many single, never-before-married women in my local area. I also stay away from divorced women (I'm not missing out on anything by refusing to date a divorced woman). I'm not missing out on anything by not dating women my age or older, nor am I missing out on anything by not dating the extremely rare woman with Asperger's Syndrome.

[Guest guest]

,

All these women have a lot to offer, so excluding them from your search

parameters may cause you to miss out on some good relationships.

However, if you have given much thought about them, and still do not

believe they may be a good match, then you have indeed made the right

decision for you.

Tom

I have two words about online dating: FORGET IT!

Online dating requires a lot of patience, which I don't have much of.

I've tried it, and it didn't work for me. Not many single, never-before-

married women in my local area. I also stay away from divorced women

(I'm not missing out on anything by refusing to date a divorced woman).

I'm not missing out on anything by not dating women my age or older,

nor am I missing out on anything by not dating the extremely rare woman

with Asperger's Syndrome.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/26/2007 1:32:07 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

sweetleo03@... writes:

So I just joined an online dating site and right when I signed up &

posted my pics & info I got quite a few " flirts " right away. However,

now that I have written about having sma and being disabled I have

gotten none. Should I be honest up front, letting them all know I have

sma to weed out those who may reject me later? Or should I let someone

get to know me first and then tell them? This dating stuff is brutal.

Who new that even online guys would be intimidated by the wheelchair.

I say be honest and up front about it. When I made a dating profile, I put

it on there. That way when someone did contact me, they at least knew I was in

a wheelchair and I didn't have to wait for the time to bring it up. (I didn't

put every single detail about my disability on there but enough where they

had some idea).

I've waited before and it can be rough. You end up liking someone only to

have them disappear when you tell them about the chair. It hurts but you come

to realize that any man who would do that isn't someone you'd want to be with

anyway.

I met my current boyfriend on a dating site. He was the one to initiate

contact. We hit it off during that first conversation. He asked for my number

that night. Even though I had explained my disability on my profile, I wanted

to

make sure he understood. I listed all that my disability entails

(wheelchair, trache, vent... ect) and asked if he still wanted the number. He

said yes,

and later said that he liked that I was honest and up front about it. In a

way, it made me more trustworthy. It's part of who I am and if I had hid it, he

would have wondered what else I wasn't telling him.

Deena

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Hi , it's the same for guys. The last one I did I just mentioned that I

had a disability that limited my mobility and said I was open to answering any

questions about it. It was funny, three times the first question I was asked is

" can you have sex " ...lol. Anyway that seemed to work pretty well for me. Had

quite a few dates and a relationship of a couple months, but nothing that

lasted. I found that if you don't mention it at all, that puts people off when

they do find out, like " what else aren't you telling me " . I don't think you

need to go into every detail on your profile but be ready and willing to answer

questions. Many have thanked me for being honest and some were scared away.

Good riddance I say! Good luck, !

Tom

-------------- Original message --------------

From: " " <sweetleo03@...>

Hey guys!

So I just joined an online dating site and right when I signed up &

posted my pics & info I got quite a few " flirts " right away. However,

now that I have written about having sma and being disabled I have

gotten none. Should I be honest up front, letting them all know I have

sma to weed out those who may reject me later? Or should I let someone

get to know me first and then tell them? This dating stuff is brutal.

Who new that even online guys would be intimidated by the wheelchair.

[Guest guest]

>

> Hey guys!

> So I just joined an online dating site and right when I signed up &

> posted my pics & info I got quite a few " flirts " right away. However,

> now that I have written about having sma and being disabled I have

> gotten none. Should I be honest up front, letting them all know I have

> sma to weed out those who may reject me later? Or should I let someone

> get to know me first and then tell them? This dating stuff is brutal.

> Who new that even online guys would be intimidated by the wheelchair.

>

May I ask which site you guys used?

[Guest guest]

first, them match.com. Both gave some good results. I also used a local

one that is now gone.

Tom

-------------- Original message --------------

From: " " <sweetleo03@...>

>

> Hey guys!

> So I just joined an online dating site and right when I signed up &

> posted my pics & info I got quite a few " flirts " right away. However,

> now that I have written about having sma and being disabled I have

> gotten none. Should I be honest up front, letting them all know I have

> sma to weed out those who may reject me later? Or should I let someone

> get to know me first and then tell them? This dating stuff is brutal.

> Who new that even online guys would be intimidated by the wheelchair.

>

May I ask which site you guys used?

[Guest guest]

Hello online daters... I recently put myself on the market.... , then

singlesnet and plenty of fish.

The third one is pretty good because they offer a forum. So you can ask what

the population feels about dating a disabled person. I started out seeking

honest real females who are physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually

available. I had been decieved in last relationship so it was my pet peeve. I

met

alot of women, made alot of great friends, had a few fun flings. But what I

got most was an education. Personality types and love types really opened my

mind. LOL Im an idealist. So I have to learn to leave well enough alone and

enjoy people as they are. I dont have to improve every situation. I have

simplified my expectations now. Those that want the truth and those that want to

live

in thier fantasy world. I have chose to be open and honest about my SMA and

being disabled and even retired. For my own self I need to be self accepting.

And this is what gives me my value. There are much worse things to be grateful

you dont have. Like STD free or not. Many wont be honest about that out of fear

of rejection as well. Even credit reports!!!!! Debt free or 15 maxed out

credit cards seeking someone to share thier debit. By the way. I just celibrated

25 years clean and sober. Because I dont drink to have a personality, or use

drugs to feel. I am considered not normal anyway ha ha. Derik

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/26/2007 6:27:48 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

sweetleo03@... writes:

May I ask which site you guys used?

okcupid.com (It's free).

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

I met Chuck on Match.com. I only said I use a wheelchair. I didn't

describe my disability or post a photo. I just wrote about who I am.

During correspondence and after a few messages, I asked if they noticed

that I said I use a wheelchair and wanted to know if it mattered to

them. I got 4 different responses. 1 - Some didn't respond at all.

(That was expected and fine.) 2 - One guy politely apologized and said

he would bow out because he was a nurse at the local hospital and knew

that a significant disability was too intense for him right now. (I

really appreciated his honesty.) 3 - " It doesn't bother me if it

doesn't bother you. " (Which was a bit odd because it does bother me

sometimes. I met him once...nice a gorgeous, but immature and too

apolitical for me. Though, he called me 6 mos. later to see if I was

interested in going out again.) 4 - " I don't know because I've never

gotten close to someone in a wheelchair. " (Honest. And perfect! My

Chuck!)

> >

> May I ask which site you guys used?

>

[Guest guest]

Derik,

I also found it rewarding to be simply honest and accepting of

where/who people are in their lives. It really helped my love life

when I got comfortable with the fact that my disability experience is

unfamiliar and even uncomfortable for many. It helped me be patient

while people get to know me.

Congratulations on your sobriety! It's a long road to be proud of.

Alana

[Guest guest]

I used plenty of fish(www.plentyoffish.com). I think its a good site.

Thaats where I met my current boyfriend =)

> >

> > Hey guys!

> > So I just joined an online dating site and right when I signed up

&

> > posted my pics & info I got quite a few " flirts " right away.

However,

> > now that I have written about having sma and being disabled I have

> > gotten none. Should I be honest up front, letting them all know I

have

> > sma to weed out those who may reject me later? Or should I let

someone

> > get to know me first and then tell them? This dating stuff is

brutal.

> > Who new that even online guys would be intimidated by the

wheelchair.

> >

> May I ask which site you guys used?

>

[Guest guest]

,

I actually met my husband through Personals. I did not mention in my

profile about my disability because it tended to attract more freaks than usual.

Apparently, there are some people out there with a fetish for people in

wheelchairs; odd. Anyhow, we chatted online for a week then on the phone. When

we decided to meet in person, I explained that I was in a wheelchair and what

SMA was. He had questions about my disability but, overall, it didn't seem to

matter because he had gotten to know me for me.

Milinovich

Wife to , Mommy to - 12 Weeks Old!

Online Dating

Hey guys!

So I just joined an online dating site and right when I signed up &

posted my pics & info I got quite a few " flirts " right away. However,

now that I have written about having sma and being disabled I have

gotten none. Should I be honest up front, letting them all know I have

sma to weed out those who may reject me later? Or should I let someone

get to know me first and then tell them? This dating stuff is brutal.

Who new that even online guys would be intimidated by the wheelchair.

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Looking for a deal? Find great prices on flights and hotels with

FareChase.

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[Guest guest]

I met my husband Joe on a dating website just about six years ago

called SparkMatch. It's around today as OKCupid. I was quite up front

about my disability on my profile, similar to what Deena has mentioned

- no details, but the basics of using a powered wheelchair for

mobility. I met in-person many individuals through the website, all of

them local to my area at the time. None of them seemed to have an

issue with my disability and I'm good friends with most of them still

today.

My thing is, if someone doesn't want to get to know me because of my

disability then they probably aren't the type of person I'd want to

have in my life.

<3Kendra

> May I ask which site you guys used?

>

[Guest guest]

i`m always saying about disability right from the beggining. no matter if it`s

penpals ad or some dating site. i don`t want to meet someone who will later stop

writing because of being afraid of disability. so yes, you better weed out those

unworthy

love & light

patie

http://patie80.multiply.com

http://patie.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

So do I. I am new to online dating and penpals sites and let the

people know I am in a powerchair. I also put a photo into my profile

on which it is clearly to see that I am in a chair. So only persons

who do not care about this fact write to me. It is nice to see how

many nice guys write to me, I did not think so before.

Have luck and find love

Camilla

Germany

>

> i`m always saying about disability right from the beggining. no

matter if it`s penpals ad or some dating site. i don`t want to meet

someone who will later stop writing because of being afraid of

disability. so yes, you better weed out those unworthy

> love & light

> patie

>

> http://patie80.multiply.com

> http://patie.tripod.com

>

>

>

>