Re: Hello and intro--dating

[Guest guest]

Delphine, and others who replied to this post.

I cannot say enough how much I know where you are coming from. I

have felt ALL those same feelings, as I know many have on this list.

by 27, I had never had one man approach me for a date. I did manage

to date about 1-2 times a month when I really persued it--but that was

all through online dating.

As many horror stories as you may hear about online dating, I would

not rule it out. Yes i had my fair share of bad dates, but I had good

ones too. No, to be honest, none went anywhere, but I kept faith it

would happen one of these days.

4 months ago it did, (ironically not online) and when i least expected

it. My friend was going to a cerebral palsy conference in DC (I live

in Calif) and asked me to go along. I said sure on a whim. The last

thing on my mind was I'd meet a potential partner there! but destiny

(as I believe it) had other plans for me, and that is how I met my now

boyfriend Rob (We have pics under Rob and if you'd like to

see:-). I did not settle in any way by being with him like I had come

to believe I may have to do in order to find a mate, and found a man

that far exceeded what I dreamed of. I think a huge part of it (and

ths is not to say AB people cannot fully accept us) is that Rob has

cerebral palsy, so he knows first hand the rejection that comes with

disability, and didnt let my disability get in the way of us because

he has his own.

I honestly never pictured myself with a man with a disability simply

because I require help and didnt know how somebody could help me or I

could help him. I learned that is the least of your worries! Rob can

do some of my care, and transfer me, but I still choose to use PCA's

because I dont want that to be his " job " , but rather something he does

if we want privacy or a PCA doesnt show---this is a personal choice

Ive made. Fortunately Rob is 100% independent, as I would be

physically unable to help him, but if he wasnt we'd work around that

because we are so great together. I NEVER thought I'd fall in love

and find the man of my dreams. It happened.

don't become jaded in love like I had. I believe we are rewarded for

our patience and will find the right one for us.

> >

> > Hello everyone,

> > My name is Delphine and i just recently joined this group. i just

> > wanted to do a quick intro of myself. i am 23 living in North

> Carolina

> > with SMA II. I graduated from college a little over a year ago. I

> now

> > work at a non-profit as an administrative assistant. I plan on

> going

> > back and getting my MBA in a year or two and go into Marketing and

> > logo branding.

> > I am very excited about joining this group! I have a wonderful

> family

> > and extremely close friends that I love dearly, but i feel like

> > sometimes they just don't get it and really can't get it because

> they

> > don't live with what i do day to day. i really haven't ever talked

> to

> > many people who have been in my same position until now. i am

> getting

> > to the point in my life where i am starting to question a lot of

> > things and it has just left me feeling confused.

> > One thing i did want to ask about was dating. how many of you out

> > there are dating or are in a relationship? how did you meet your

> > significant other?

> > i am trying to push myself into the world of dating but am finding

> it

> > extremely difficult. most people have no interest once they learn

> i am

> > in a wheelchair. i have found a few that are interested but it just

> > never seems to go very far. and i honestly had the worst date know

> to

> > man this weekend. this guy made me feel like a piece of meat,

> saying

> > derogatory comments the entire night. i could tell only one thing

> was

> > on his mind and he wasn't afraid to show it. i ended up leaving, it

> > was so bad. so i guess i am just extremely frustrated right now. I

> > feel like i have hit so many brick walls. i feel like it is time

> for

> > the universe to cut me a break!

> > anyway, i really look forward to hearing from all of you and i have

> > enjoyed reading the comments thus far.

> >

> > --

> > Delphine s

> >

> > And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud

> was

> > more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

> > -Anais Nin

> >

>