Re: a poll (marriage & healthcare

[Guest guest]

I'm not married to my mother and she can legally advocate for my

healthcare. And if I so deemed, I could change that to be my boyfriend

in 10 minutes. I went to my lawyer to get it done, but I've heard of

others having this option to choose someone while being in a hospital

or through a case management agency.

There are many legal issues that people who choose to not get married

have to face, but getting married has its legal disadvantages as well.

But what about people who CAN'T legally marry?

-Kendra

> additional problems. As far as I'm aware, unless you are legally

> married, your partner has no legal right to advocate for your health

> care, etc. If I was unable to communicate my wishes in a health

crisis,

> I feel better knowing my husband can speak for me. I'm NOT trying to

> diss anyone's ideas of what makes a marriage a marriage. I just get

> angry that in order to get legally married, IF we desire, we often are

> forced to choose between it and things like attendant care.

>

> --

> Jenn Malatesta

> http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

[Guest guest]

> >I'm not married to my mother and she can legally advocate for my

> >healthcare.

> >

> Your mom can advocate for you because she is your mom. What if your

mom

> and your boyfriend disagreed on the course of your medical care? Your

> mom would win unless you had appointed your boyfriend as POA.

No she can make those decisions because she was granted POA. It's a

simple thing. It doesn't matter who disagrees with her. She will also

be the sole decision maker on my behalf (until I request a change of POA).

> I have gay friends and relatives. I considered them married even

though

> many of them aren't 'legal'. The issues surrounding catatrophic

> illnesses, insurance, inheritance, etc concern them too.

I was talking about homosexual relationships and marriage here. How do

you feel about their pre-marital sexual relations? How do you explain

to a gay teenager that they should wait until marriage for sex when

they can never legally marry. And why would you consider a gay couple

married and not a heterosexual couple living together under the same

circumstances?

[Guest guest]

Right, I understand that. What I was asking though was your opinion on

religious teachings and sex for homosexuals. How do you explain

waiting until marriage? How do you define " marriage " since it isn't

legally recognized? And how do you rationalize why a 'spiritual' and

'emotional' marriage between homosexuals gives them the right to

engage in sexual activity (if you think this is true) yet heterosexual

couples do not have that option since they can legally marry? And if

you do believe heterosexual couples can spiritually emotionally marry

without a legal recognition, why is waiting until marriage so

important? Who is to say that everyone is not emotionally and

spiritually connected and " married " to their partner of choice

whatever step of the relationship? The lines are so confusing, I was

just wondering how you separate these things and then go about

teaching the youth safe sex and waiting until marriage when certain

people are not treated equally and your own definition of marriage is

blurry.

>

> >I was talking about homosexual relationships and marriage here. How do

> >you feel about their pre-marital sexual relations? How do you explain

> >to a gay teenager that they should wait until marriage for sex when

> >they can never legally marry. And why would you consider a gay couple

> >married and not a heterosexual couple living together under the same

> >circumstances?

> >

> >

> I never meant to imply that either of these groups weren't married. I

> was only saying they are not *legally recognized* as being married by

> the government. In fact, I've had both homosexual and heterosexual

> friends that were married (spiritually, emotionally, physically,

> whatever) in my opinion even though it is not legally recognized.

All I

> was trying to say is that if people *want* to get legally married, they

> should *not* be denied or disuaded from that right by punishing them

> with the threat of taking away health and attendant care. I voted

> against the constitutional amendment in my state banning gay marriage

> too because I do not think homesexual people should be denied that

right

> either.

>

> --

> Jenn Malatesta

> http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

[Guest guest]

You were voicing your opinion about waiting until marriage so strongly

I just wanted to hear how you feel about situations that are atypical.

I am not trying to make you defend your beliefs; I respect them

greatly and encourage you and everyone else to continue sharing. I was

just curious how homosexual lifestyles or different forms of

" marriage " fit into your beliefs or teachings. I know you aren't a

deity. It's interesting, to see how opinions waver when scenarios

become fuzzy, to me.

> Why is this such a " hot " issue for you? Why does it matter what *I*

> think about what or what doesn't constitute marriage? Last time I

> checked, I'm not God or any other diety or lifeforce or anything but

> another human.

>

> Jenn

>

[Guest guest]

Wavering in the sense that they change per situation. It isn't used in

a negative way. I don't think I accused you of making judgements;

please don't feel that I have. I'm only interested in seeing the

fluctuations of opinion per situation - I am not interpreting your

opinions as either " good " or " bad " or " right " or " wrong " . There are no

such categories when it comes to opinions.

>

> >It's interesting, to see how opinions waver when scenarios

> >become fuzzy, to me.

> >