Re: Re: a poll (marriage & healthcare

[Guest guest]

What would we have to do to bring this important issue to politicians to have

the law changed concerning marriage and the disabled?

[Guest guest]

Kendra wrote:

>I'm not married to my mother and she can legally advocate for my

>healthcare.

>

Your mom can advocate for you because she is your mom. What if your mom

and your boyfriend disagreed on the course of your medical care? Your

mom would win unless you had appointed your boyfriend as POA.

>But what about people who CAN'T legally marry?

>

>

The only reason I can think of why people CAN'T legally marry in our

situation is because of the unfair marriage penalities we receive with

losing health care coverage, benefits, etc. Why should someone be

DENIED this right if they choose to get married?

I have gay friends and relatives. I considered them married even though

many of them aren't 'legal'. The issues surrounding catatrophic

illnesses, insurance, inheritance, etc concern them too.

--

Jenn Malatesta

http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

[Guest guest]

wait for a democratic legislature

At 03:54 PM 11/2/2004, you wrote:

>What would we have to do to bring this important issue to politicians to have

>the law changed concerning marriage and the disabled?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Aunt617@... wrote:

>What would we have to do to bring this important issue to politicians to have

>the law changed concerning marriage and the disabled?

>

>

Yes, this is what I want to know. I could become a serious activist

over this issue!

--

Jenn Malatesta

http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

[Guest guest]

Kendra wrote:

>I was talking about homosexual relationships and marriage here. How do

>you feel about their pre-marital sexual relations? How do you explain

>to a gay teenager that they should wait until marriage for sex when

>they can never legally marry. And why would you consider a gay couple

>married and not a heterosexual couple living together under the same

>circumstances?

>

>

I never meant to imply that either of these groups weren't married. I

was only saying they are not *legally recognized* as being married by

the government. In fact, I've had both homosexual and heterosexual

friends that were married (spiritually, emotionally, physically,

whatever) in my opinion even though it is not legally recognized. All I

was trying to say is that if people *want* to get legally married, they

should *not* be denied or disuaded from that right by punishing them

with the threat of taking away health and attendant care. I voted

against the constitutional amendment in my state banning gay marriage

too because I do not think homesexual people should be denied that right

either.

--

Jenn Malatesta

http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

[Guest guest]

Looks like I'll be waiting awhile. Sigh...

Alana R. Theriault wrote:

>wait for a democratic legislature

>

>At 03:54 PM 11/2/2004, you wrote:

>

>

>>What would we have to do to bring this important issue to politicians to have

>>the law changed concerning marriage and the disabled?

>>

>>

>>

--

Jenn Malatesta

http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

[Guest guest]

The is my opinion. For me personally, because of *my* religious

beliefs, *I* waited until *I* was married by my church (the legality was

kind of a secondary result). But I cannot push my religious beliefs on

anyone else. If people are in a loving, committed relationship and

consider themselves married, that's fine. I have no right to say they

aren't married. I will tell my children to wait until marriage, but

that is because of the religious beliefs my family holds. My

mother-in-law is a lesbian. She and her partner got married in Canada.

I don't go around telling my kids they aren't really married. In fact,

they call *both* of them grandma. I just think it sucks that if a

person with a disability *does* want to have their marriage legally

recognized they are penalized. I think it sucks that people have to be

careful about who they tell about their marriage, legally recognized or

not, for fear of losing benefits. I had friends in college in this same

exact situation.

I do think young people should be careful about jumping into sexual

relationships. Even with condoms, serious sexually transmitted diseases

can be passed between partners. Especially if teens are having sex to

fill some emotional void in their life or to prove that they are really

sexually attractive, they can be really damaged emotionally. This is

the case for people with or without disabilities.

Why is this such a " hot " issue for you? Why does it matter what *I*

think about what or what doesn't constitute marriage? Last time I

checked, I'm not God or any other diety or lifeforce or anything but

another human.

Jenn

Kendra wrote:

>Right, I understand that. What I was asking though was your opinion on

>religious teachings and sex for homosexuals. How do you explain

>waiting until marriage? How do you define " marriage " since it isn't

>legally recognized? And how do you rationalize why a 'spiritual' and

>'emotional' marriage between homosexuals gives them the right to

>engage in sexual activity (if you think this is true) yet heterosexual

>couples do not have that option since they can legally marry? And if

>you do believe heterosexual couples can spiritually emotionally marry

>without a legal recognition, why is waiting until marriage so

>important? Who is to say that everyone is not emotionally and

>spiritually connected and " married " to their partner of choice

>whatever step of the relationship? The lines are so confusing, I was

>just wondering how you separate these things and then go about

>teaching the youth safe sex and waiting until marriage when certain

>people are not treated equally and your own definition of marriage is

>blurry.

>

>

>

>>

>>

>>

>>>I was talking about homosexual relationships and marriage here. How do

>>>you feel about their pre-marital sexual relations? How do you explain

>>>to a gay teenager that they should wait until marriage for sex when

>>>they can never legally marry. And why would you consider a gay couple

>>>married and not a heterosexual couple living together under the same

>>>circumstances?

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>I never meant to imply that either of these groups weren't married. I

>>was only saying they are not *legally recognized* as being married by

>>the government. In fact, I've had both homosexual and heterosexual

>>friends that were married (spiritually, emotionally, physically,

>>whatever) in my opinion even though it is not legally recognized.

>>

>>

>All I

>

>

>>was trying to say is that if people *want* to get legally married, they

>>should *not* be denied or disuaded from that right by punishing them

>>with the threat of taking away health and attendant care. I voted

>>against the constitutional amendment in my state banning gay marriage

>>too because I do not think homesexual people should be denied that

>>

>>

>right

>

>

>>either.

>>

>>--

>>Jenn Malatesta

>>http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

>>

>>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

My opinions aren't wavering. Someone asked if anyone else waited to

have sexual relations until they were married, and all I said was I

did. I was never making a judgements on anyone else choices. (Except

maybe those of people in legislature.) I think you might have mixed me

up with another person in the previous conversation.

Jenn

Kendra wrote:

>It's interesting, to see how opinions waver when scenarios

>become fuzzy, to me.

>

[Guest guest]

OK. That's good. I just wanted to make sure I was coming across as

throwing judgements on anyone.

Jenn

Kendra wrote:

>Wavering in the sense that they change per situation. It isn't used in

>a negative way. I don't think I accused you of making judgements;

>please don't feel that I have. I'm only interested in seeing the

>fluctuations of opinion per situation - I am not interpreting your

>opinions as either " good " or " bad " or " right " or " wrong " . There are no

>such categories when it comes to opinions.

>