Guest guest Posted February 10, 2004 Report Share Posted February 10, 2004 In a message dated 2/10/2004 11:28:59 PM Central Standard Time, kendra@... writes: It's disrespectful and I think when others answer it sort of acknowledges that it is okay to not talk to me directly. I completely agree. When I had to go to L & D because I was spotting, the nurse was so dumb!!! She looked at Will and asked if he was having any cramping. I just don't understand how some of these people live in bubble of pure ignorance. *Amy* Mother to Caitlyn Mae - born to heaven 3/26/98 Olivia Isabelle - born to earth 9/18/03 Wife to Will 11/03/95 http://community.webshots.com/user/blueyedaze Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2004 Report Share Posted February 10, 2004 I've never had people come up and touch me, and if so I think I'd speak up and starting yelling! I hate when people touch me when I'm not expecting or if they are unfamiliar with me and are too aggressive, because it causes me pain and instability in my seating. However, with every boyfriend I've ever been out with, we get approached by other girls our age, saying how cute it is that he's out with his little sister helping out to take care of me. My first boyfriend actually played along with it! He was gone..hahah! My second boyfriend was a bit confused and would look at me like " what do I do? " Typically I'll speak up and tell them I'm not the little sister, I'm the girlfriend. Thankfully younger people tend to listen, although embarassed and/or shocked. As for older people that don't listen... I live in a building for senior citizens and the disabled. To say the least, I'm the only one under 65! I try to just ignore the older ladies that don't understand or don't listen to me. I don't know what else to do in that situation besides just leave the person. When people don't direct questions toward me, about me, in front of me, I usually speak up and most of my friends and all of my family know they NEVER answer questions about me in front of me when I can answer. It's disrespectful and I think when others answer it sort of acknowledges that it is okay to not talk to me directly. ~Kendra > I rarely, if ever actually get approached by strangers when I'm out. Stares, > looks, glances I can deal with, but this one lady invaded my damn personal > space. > > We were in the grocery store, Olivia was in the cart and I was talking to her > while Will was getting some stuff. This lady comes over to me and like grabs > me, kisses & hugs me, ends up pulling my hair all before I could even bat an > eye. She asks Will if *I* am his daughter and he promptly tells her I am his > wife and that the baby is OUR daughter. Not even listening, she's like " is > this her daughter too? " Not one word was directed at me even though I answered > her ridiculous inquiries. She also babbled some shit about working with > people " like me. " You know, I'll be damned if I'm gonna be seen as the retarded > little sister!!! Raaawr. I want to inform people, I really do, but I'm just too > lazy to go around waving a flag. What do you all do to correct situations > like the above? > > > > *Amy* > Mother to Caitlyn Mae - born to heaven 3/26/98 > Olivia Isabelle - born to earth 9/18/03 > Wife to Will 11/03/95 > http://community.webshots.com/user/blueyedaze > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2004 Report Share Posted February 11, 2004 In a message dated 2/11/2004 12:09:25 PM Central Standard Time, nekrosys@... writes: I remember one instance that warms the little dark corners of my black heart: Hehe your heart is black, too?! I swear, by the time she can speak and actually call me mom... I can only imagine what the idiots will think. It still amazes me (and I don't know why after 25 long years) how ignorant the human race is. *Amy* Mother to Caitlyn Mae - born to heaven 3/26/98 Olivia Isabelle - born to earth 9/18/03 Wife to Will 11/03/95 http://community.webshots.com/user/blueyedaze Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2004 Report Share Posted February 11, 2004 blueyedaze@... wrote: > What do you all do to correct situations like the above? Oh, my! Stuff like this happens to me all the time. Depending on how " frumpy " I'm dressed, I'm either Lee's child or Lee's decrepit mother. I've been known to get kids menus along with my daughters. When I speak up and proclaim that Lee is my husband and that Emili and Ravyn are my children, these people always look at me like they are humoring a hopelessly deluded person. It makes me want to scream! I believe it stems from the fact that most ignorant people tend to view us as asexual beings. So us dating, being married, and - God help us - having biological children is completely unfathomable. And since they figure we are so " starved " for love, it is perfectly acceptable to hug and kiss all over us like we are the saints of hopeless cases. I usually just deal with it by repeating myself over and over, and if they still don't get it, I roll away (sometimes accidently bumping into them). Sometimes I'll talk to my children really loudly in a way that shows I'm the PARENT, instead of replying to idiots like this. It also helps to look kind of threatening. Rude bumper stickers help - Hot Topic has the best ones. I still want to get my eyeteeth sharpened into fangs so when things like that happen or people stare incessantly at me, I can flash them a nice " sweet " smile. It also gets better when your kids get older because they start making friends at school, who then meet you, and then enlighten their ignorant parents. I remember one instance that warms the little dark corners of my black heart: Ravyn and I were zooming past Emili's grade school, during their recess, on the way to the library. (Ravyn was riding on the back.) This little girl goes to a friend, " Hey, it's Emili's mom! " Then she runs up to the fence waving and yelling out, " Hi, Emili's mommy!!! " -- Jenn Malatesta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2004 Report Share Posted February 11, 2004 Sometimes older people reach out to touch my hand. Unfortunately, it's my driving hand. I have developed amazing reflexes...Pull the joystick t-bar right off the joystick as soon as I seem to be near curious children or doting adults. As for the assumption that Chuck's my brother or attendant, now after 3+ years being seen out with him pretty regularly, we don't get that very much. Also, in Berkeley and San Francisco it seems a more familiar notion that disabled people have love lives. When I go to San it goes back to weird. I really appreciate it when he's the one who speaks up - " No, she's my girlfriend. " or that he's not bothered when I'm a little extra assertive and derail the wait-staff at a restaurant ordering my own food and maybe even his. Haha! My attendants and friends are good about this stuff, too. " You should probably ask her what she wants to eat, " etc. Last month at his annual company party when Chuck went to the restroom, I was approached by one of his co-workers who asked if I was a family member of Chuck's. I smiled and told him I was his girlfriend. He was pretty cool with only a flicker of surprise. Later Chuck & I laughed...Wondered if he was surprised about me being in a chair, or if he had assumed Chuck was gay. Prolly both. Alana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 I'm loving these stories. They are giving me lots of ideas for things to do as Bernie gets a bit older. Tho' to tell the truth, he is bratty enough not to need much coaching. Bettylou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 blueyedaze@... wrote: > Hehe your heart is black, too?! That's what I'm told. > I swear, by the time she can speak and actually call me mom... I can > only imagine what the idiots will think. Don't worry. They'll just think you brainwashed Miss Olivia with your delusions! -- Jenn Malatesta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 In a message dated 2/12/2004 11:49:41 AM Central Standard Time, nekrosys@... writes: Don't worry. They'll just think you brainwashed Miss Olivia with your delusions! *wrings hands together evilly* muhaha! Let the brainwashing begin! On a side note, Olivia had her appointment with a developmental specialist (all babies who spend time in the NICU have to here) and she was deemed very advanced for her age! She's already passing things from hand to hand, has excellent head control and great language skills. Can you tell I'm a proud momma? =) *Amy* Mother to Caitlyn Mae - born to heaven 3/26/98 Olivia Isabelle - born to earth 9/18/03 Wife to Will 11/03/95 http://community.webshots.com/user/blueyedaze Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 why would you want him to be bratty? . . .. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 here's one for the ladies. When I was in the hospital and the CNA went to give me my bath, she ran out of the room to get a nurse. She told the nurse I was " bleeding down there " and was alarmed about it. She told me she didn't think people in wheelchairs had menstrual cycles, sex, or babies. Duh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 In a message dated 2/13/2004 1:54:24 PM Eastern Standard Time, twoonwheels2003@... writes: She told me she didn't think people in wheelchairs had menstrual cycles, sex, or babies. Duh! U have to be kidding me! s, the Unique Princess " Follow your heart, your intuition, it will lead you in the right direction. " -Jewel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 nope really true. Caused a real panic on the floor with the nurses. Me I had a laugh and then thought, OMG these people are taking care of me. I want to go home, and I thought they were professionals. Glad went I left. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 In a message dated 2/13/2004 11:05:19 AM Central Standard Time, nekrosys@... writes: And you should be! Bet you can't wait until she can look ignorant strangers in the eye and say with perfect diction, " Excuse me, what gives you the right to talk down to my mother like that?! " Heheh. I've been wondering how she'll deal with things like staring, etc. I certainly don't want to make her bitter and I'm sure she'll pick up on it soon enough. *Amy* Mother to Caitlyn Mae - born to heaven 3/26/98 Olivia Isabelle - born to earth 9/18/03 Wife to Will 11/03/95 http://community.webshots.com/user/blueyedaze Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 blueyedaze@... wrote: > ...she was deemed very advanced for > her age! She's already passing things from hand to hand, has > excellent head > control and great language skills. Can you tell I'm a proud momma? =) And you should be! Bet you can't wait until she can look ignorant strangers in the eye and say with perfect diction, " Excuse me, what gives you the right to talk down to my mother like that?! " -- Jenn Malatesta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 OK, not bratty in a bad way. But he does speak up when he isn't happy about being treated in a way he doesn't like. Perhaps cheeky is a better word. Blunt. I think the last time some stranger cooed over his chair and said she wished she had one, he replied 'Well, I wish I could walk.' That sort of thing. bettylou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 blueyedaze@... wrote: > Heheh. I've been wondering how she'll deal with things like staring, > etc. I > certainly don't want to make her bitter and I'm sure she'll pick up > on it > soon enough. I'm not sure how Olivia will react, but my kids seem to love the extra attention. They think they are movie stars or something. Plus they are just as rude as other people. I just love it when they point to another person in a wheelchair and scream out, " Look, mommy, it's another cripple like you! " -- Jenn Malatesta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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