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by a stranger with whom i was arguing. " nex time i'm gonna make it so you

don't need that wheelchair, bitch. " waving a gun at me.

At 01:52 AM 11/2/2004, you wrote:

>how many of you have been verbally abused by someone b/c of your disability?

>by whom?

>what exactly was it about, i.e. being a burden, unrealistic goals, etc?

>

>

>kimi

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i grew up in around a lot of boys in my family so they ruff housed me

but it was more like treating me as an equal but i was born to a vey

young mother (pregnant at 16 had me at 17) and as i was grewing up so

was she and she experimented with A LOT of drugs and had lots of

boyfriends and well she wasnt very nice to me when she was on a drug

bindge... never hurt me physicaly but verbaly... once when i was

13/14 i met a guy and we were really close friends and i sorta had a

crush and at that age my mom and i had many many verbal fights (cuz i

was raised to stick up for myself) and she seen i was making a type

and asked what i was doing. i told her i was making a type and she

asked for who so i told her. she then said " does he know you're in a

wheel chair? " and i didnt answer i just shrugged my shoulders and she

said " cuz i bet if he did know he wouldnt like u any more " i got

very very made and told her " well i bet u feel stupid cuz he does

know and he does like me so get the f*** out of here!!! " the thing

was he didnt know cuz we met on the phone and built a friendship on

the phone... i was scared after that... but i ended up telling him

and we r still the bestest friends!! another time was when i was 19

and i lived with my grandma and her and a friend were getting drunk

and it came time to put me to bed and she said something like " yeah

we should have put u in a hospital " i cussed her out too... but we

made never talked about it again so we just burried it...

> how many of you have been verbally abused by someone b/c of your

disability?

> by whom?

> what exactly was it about, i.e. being a burden, unrealistic goals,

etc?

>

>

> kimi

>

>

>

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Ksmile96@... wrote:

>how many of you have been verbally abused by someone b/c of your disability?

>by whom?

>what exactly was it about, i.e. being a burden, unrealistic goals, etc?

>

My mom definately - a burden she must bear

Helpers at grade school - complained about my weight & difficulty in

caring for me

Nurses in hospitals - same as above

Bus drivers - extra work

--

Jenn Malatesta

http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

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I was verbally abused by some classmates in junior high, It got

really bad and lasted almost two years... I didn't tell my mom,

because I didn't want to hurt her and I didn't think there was

anything she could do about it. Eventually I did tell her and she

was hurt and also angry, but it helped to talk about it. Then I went

to high school and on to university and nothing like that has ever

happened to me again, but it still lingers.

One good thing, though, my mother is a teacher and now she is very

attentive to verbal abuse among her students. She always tells them

to come to her if they are verbally abused by anyone - and to not

abuse anyone else, either. She will not tolerate it!!!! They can

pick on her if they want, she tells them, 'cause she can handle it

and she gets paid for it!!! I think she is the coolest!

Lene

>

> >how many of you have been verbally abused by someone b/c of your

disability?

> >by whom?

> >what exactly was it about, i.e. being a burden, unrealistic

goals, etc?

> >

> My mom definately - a burden she must bear

> Helpers at grade school - complained about my weight & difficulty

in

> caring for me

> Nurses in hospitals - same as above

> Bus drivers - extra work

>

> --

> Jenn Malatesta

> http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

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In a message dated 11/2/2004 2:19:39 PM Pacific Standard Time,

nekrosys@... writes:

>how many of you have been verbally abused by someone b/c of your

disability?

>by whom?

>what exactly was it about, i.e. being a burden, unrealistic goals, etc?

>

My mom definately - a burden she must bear

Helpers at grade school - complained about my weight & difficulty in

caring for me

Nurses in hospitals - same as above

Bus drivers - extra work

I was on the bus the other day and the driver was such a jerk. He got

irritated with me and started yelling at my friends because he thought I wasn't

properly secured (I was secured just fine). He stopped the bus and came to

where

we were sitting and coped an attitude in front of everyone else. As if that

wasn't enough, he basically held us captive on the bus. We wanted to get off

at a certain stop and he wouldn't let us. He overheard us saying that we

wanted to get to the BART station and he said that he knew a better stop. What

he

didn't know was that we had planned on doing something else before we went

to the BART station. We kept telling him we wanted to get off but he just

ignored us and it's not like I can jump off the next time he stopped since he

controlled the ramp.

Dee

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I get a lot of crap with transportation for the disabled. I've been

called every name in the book from crippled idiot to mother f***ing

b**** for just sitting on the bus minding my own business. They talk

to the disabled passengers as though we can't hear or understand what

they're saying. Their supervisors are not much better. The TA here is

being investigated for many issues. I made sure this was one of them.

I'm also glad so many other people made these issues public by calling

in with their experiences and writing into newspapers.

>

> >I was on the bus the other day and the driver was such a jerk.

> >

> I actually had a bus driver tell me that " my kind " shouldn't be allowed

> to ride on the bus in front of all the other passengers. Grrr!

>

> --

> Jenn Malatesta

> http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

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In a message dated 11/3/2004 6:54:20 PM Pacific Standard Time,

lilredhalo@... writes:

where is it that those of u with the bad transportation abuse

live? i'm like soooo omg at ur stories!!! every where i've gone be it

bus, taxi, or strolling down the street or at school everyone is way

nice and helpful!! even overly helpful and nice!! omg thats sooo

crazy!!

I live in San Francisco and usually everyone is very nice and helpful....

even perfect strangers. This case was an exception.

Dee

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when i was a kind i had a few boys around the neiborhood call

me " robo-girl " but i called the other kid " yuck mouth " cuz he had

really bad teeth and the other " pig-pen " cuz he was always dirt and

instead of others around laughing at me they started laughing at then

cuz everyone new it was true lol they all learn i had a quick and

sharp tongue and i got respected for it from then on.

where is it that those of u with the bad transportation abuse

live? i'm like soooo omg at ur stories!!! every where i've gone be it

bus, taxi, or strolling down the street or at school everyone is way

nice and helpful!! even overly helpful and nice!! omg thats sooo

crazy!!

> >

> > >I was on the bus the other day and the driver was such a jerk.

> > >

> > I actually had a bus driver tell me that " my kind " shouldn't be

allowed

> > to ride on the bus in front of all the other passengers. Grrr!

> >

> > --

> > Jenn Malatesta

> > http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

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I'm in Albany, NY.

> where is it that those of u with the bad transportation abuse

> live? i'm like soooo omg at ur stories!!! every where i've gone be it

> bus, taxi, or strolling down the street or at school everyone is way

> nice and helpful!! even overly helpful and nice!! omg thats sooo

> crazy!!

>

>

>

>

>

>

> > >

> > > >I was on the bus the other day and the driver was such a jerk.

> > > >

> > > I actually had a bus driver tell me that " my kind " shouldn't be

> allowed

> > > to ride on the bus in front of all the other passengers. Grrr!

> > >

> > > --

> > > Jenn Malatesta

> > > http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

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In a message dated 11/3/2004 7:43:27 PM Eastern Standard Time,

kendra@... writes:

get a lot of crap with transportation for the disabled. I've been

called every name in the book from crippled idiot to mother f***ing

b**** for just sitting on the bus minding my own business. They talk

to the disabled passengers as though we can't hear or understand what

they're saying. Their supervisors are not much better. The TA here is

being investigated for many issues. I made sure this was one of them.

I'm also glad so many other people made these issues public by calling

in with their experiences and writing into newspapers.

Thats troy for you. :) Me and Amy have nver ridden on cdta together, but by

myself everytime someone got on the bus who was in a wheelchair there was

this dark murmur from the other passengers. Especially on central Ave in

Albany. on a busy a bus going out of Albany! Hot damn some people had to get

off

cause there wasn't enough room. there were some seriously pissed people. But I

never heard any comments.

Will

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Yeah I rarely ride CDTA. I've even gotten it from the bus driver while

he's buckling down the chair about how it's a waste of space and time

to allow these wheelchairs on the bus. You bet your ass I spoke up

about it to him.

I mostly get this harassment from STAR bus!! Which is disabled ONLY

buses. HELLO!!! If you don't want to be working with the disabled, get

another job!

Capital area transportation is horrific!

> Thats troy for you. :) Me and Amy have nver ridden on cdta together,

but by

> myself everytime someone got on the bus who was in a wheelchair

there was

> this dark murmur from the other passengers. Especially on central

Ave in

> Albany. on a busy a bus going out of Albany! Hot damn some people

had to get off

> cause there wasn't enough room. there were some seriously pissed

people. But I

> never heard any comments.

>

> Will

>

>

>

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:) We should get together one day. It'll be great to meet!

>

> In a message dated 11/3/2004 10:08:55 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> kendra@l... writes:

>

>

> I'm in Albany, NY.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> So when are we hanging out? :D

>

> Amy

> Wife to Will 11/3/95

> Mother to Olivia Isabelle 9/18/03

> http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/o/oliviathegreat/

>

>

>

>

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I live in Ohio. At the time of my incidents, I lived in Dayton. Both

drivers on regular bus routes and on the special disabled shuttles gave

me grief. I now live in Cincinnati and have avoided using public

transportation for this and other reasons.

Jenn

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In a message dated 11/2/2004 4:58:55 AM Eastern Standard Time,

Ksmile96@... writes:

how many of you have been verbally abused by someone b/c of your disability?

by whom?

what exactly was it about, i.e. being a burden, unrealistic goals, etc?

My mother...yes, biological mother.

Let's see...

She told me, many times over, that nobody will ever take care of me like she

does.

She told me, repeatedly, that I'll never find someone who will WANT to help

me.

She told me my going to grad school was a waste of everybody's time.

I was her excuse for everything, especially if she did not want to do

something.

You name it, the woman said it to me...and never meant anything good by it.

Amy M.

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In a message dated 11/12/2004 8:58:13 PM Mountain Standard Time,

nicoleroberts@... writes:

> Do any of you have able-bodied siblings and notice just how

> differently they are treated, especially in regard to the future, college

> support etc?

It's always bothered me how differently my able-bodied brother is treated.

There's two of us with SMA, and one without. Even though he's the youngest, he's

always been treated like the adult in the family. Ever since we were all

little kids, my parents would always tell him to do this and that " for the

kids. "

He's always known that the two of us are the kids, and that he's better than

that. (Sidenote: you don't have to be around him long to know how immature he

is for his age.) There's also the issue that nobody ever bothered to parent

him. My mom focused on me and my dad focused on my brother, and there was nobody

left for the youngest. I was 16 years old and fighting with my mom every night

because she wanted to get me to bed and out of the way, while I was still

doing homework or whatever and not at all ready for bed. My 14 year old brother

would be having the same fight with my dad. The 12 year old, however, never had

a bedtime in his entire life. He could stay up all night and do whatever he

wanted, nobody cared. Now he's 16, and my parents seem suprised by the fact

that he doesn't respect their authority and takes the car out and does whatever

he wants whenever he wants. Hmm, who could have possibly seen that coming...

Oh, and there was (and still is, when I'm home) always the issue people have

talked about with the parents always letting me know what a

responsibility/burden

I am, which was a very stark contrast with their constant praise of how

helpful the youngest is. (I've yet to figure out what he's so helpful with...

I've

never seen him do much that involves getting off the couch.)

Hmm, that was a pleasant little venting session. :)

~e

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In a message dated 11/12/2004 11:47:03 PM Eastern Standard Time,

PurplGurl3@... writes:

Oh, and there was (and still is, when I'm home) always the issue people have

talked about with the parents always letting me know what a

responsibility/burden

I am, which was a very stark contrast with their constant praise of how

helpful the youngest is

Holy crap, e - that made my blood pressure rise. I have always been

treated like a child in my family as well. A prime example: my mom comes over

on friday evenings to help me with Olivia while Will goes out. I ask Nothing

of her because I don't wanna hear her BS, but I needed to use the phone and

she had the audacity to say " I can't stand watching both of you. " If she EVER

degrades me in that way again in front of my daughter, she will never see

either of us.

Amy

Wife to Will 11/3/95

Mother to Olivia Isabelle 9/18/03

http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/o/oliviathegreat/

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Hi amy,

That¹s sad but interesting and familiar and makes me think of something

else... Do any of you have able-bodied siblings and notice just how

differently they are treated, especially in regard to the future, college

support etc? When I wanted to go to college my parents (esp step father)

gave me a long speech on how they (my parents) would be doing me a

disservice if they paid for my college or anything related to my independent

living/adult future. The rational for this was that there is so much more

to learn and grow from by learning to be independent and take care of

myself. Since I left home 14 yrs ago, my parents have given me exactly zero

dollars and nothing cents. I managed by scholarships and financial aid and

HUD housing and food stamps to get through college and never return home and

actually am OK with that whole process. BUT my able-bodied little brother

is now in college and not only are my parents paying his entire school fee,

but also his housing and *everything*, apparently he has a credit card in

their name and billed to them that he can use for anything and everything.

He has even changed his major after 2 yrs of college and so now starting

over on another 4 yr plan and they are totally supportive of that!!

Honestly, it kind of makes me queasy how they OVERLY support his life and

future...but when I compare it to how things were when I was at his stage in

life it leaves me with the sense of how much they didn't value or support my

future even though I skipped a grade, got straight A's and wrote an

internationally award winning play, there would have been NOTHING I could've

done for my life to earn value in their eyes...or so it seems. It's hard

not to be upset about it, although I would never bring it up now even if I

thought they maybe could see the inequity (which I know they can't/won't

see)!

On 11/12/04 8:09 PM, " Ames24@... " <Ames24@...> wrote:

> In a message dated 11/2/2004 4:58:55 AM Eastern Standard Time,

> Ksmile96@... writes:

> how many of you have been verbally abused by someone b/c of your disability?

> by whom?

> what exactly was it about, i.e. being a burden, unrealistic goals, etc?

> My mother...yes, biological mother.

>

> Let's see...

>

> She told me, many times over, that nobody will ever take care of me like she

> does.

> She told me, repeatedly, that I'll never find someone who will WANT to help

> me.

> She told me my going to grad school was a waste of everybody's time.

> I was her excuse for everything, especially if she did not want to do

> something.

> You name it, the woman said it to me...and never meant anything good by it.

>

> Amy M.

>

>

>

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Hi-

I always thought my parents expected me to do what I wanted to. I don't

think they really cared what I did as long as I was happy doing it. It's

really strange because is my sister and we both have SMA and the same

parents but I don't remember our parents like she does. Oh well, perception

is everything I guess.

H

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Did they help you do it, like they do your brother?

On 11/13/04 3:11 PM, " jessica hagenah " <jhagenah74@...> wrote:

> Hi-

>

> I always thought my parents expected me to do what I wanted to. I don't

> think they really cared what I did as long as I was happy doing it. It's

> really strange because is my sister and we both have SMA and the same

> parents but I don't remember our parents like she does. Oh well, perception

> is everything I guess.

>

> H

>

>

>

>

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