Guest guest Posted September 7, 2001 Report Share Posted September 7, 2001 HI and : Big hugs to both of you at this terrible time. is so lucky to have you helping him deal with all this devastation. I cannot imagine how much harder this must be to deal with when it is visible from your home and not just on TV. Steve responded to the TV coverage by saying many in NY will be suffering from PTSD now. This has been one of his dxs and we know it is one of the more difficult anxiety disorders to treat so my thoughts are with people throughout the country who have lost their loved ones. Hopefully I can fly home to Hawaii from Dallas on Saturday, if the airlines find a way of making flying more secure (?). My thoughts are also with our kids who were not as well as we would like before this happened and who are most vulnerable to suffering addtional anxiety. Aureen has given us some very helpful ideas about talking to our kids and I know I am relieved to know mine are back at school in their usual routine. was taking Steve to a service at a local church in honor of the missing and dead from these terrorist attacks. Today I am off to the Kennedy museum. I have lots of time to be on the list now that my only tasks are flying home when I can and watching TV from the security and comfort of my hotel room. Take care, aloha, Kathy (h) kathyh@... At 01:33 PM 9/12/01 EDT, you wrote: >We are in NY about 20 minutes outside Manhattan and can see the smoke >billowing from the top floor of our house. didn't go into school today >and is trying to cope with what has happened so close to home. Many of our >neighbors are missing and many of the children from 's school have >parents who work in the Trade Center. When I first told when he woke >up, he immediately escalated into a panic attack. But was quickly able to >get it under control. This is very encouraging considering what his OCD >fears have been in the past. His concerns were very legitimate and on target >with everyone's fears in NY and throughout the country. I tried to keep him >thinking within this range and tried to point out when the reassurance >seeking was flowing over into the compulsion range. I told him that this >would work against his comfort in the long run because it would only >strengthen the OCD component of what he was feeling. >It's so hard. We are all in shock as I'm sure you all are. Many of our >children who are already struggling with their return to school will probably >be on " overload " much earlier in the school year. >Day 2 >My husband was supposed to fly home from Texas today (he flew there on Monday >night) but to my relief and 's, he will be driving back to NY with 2 >colleagues. I don't care how much time it takes at this point just as long >as he doesn't fly. is still home from school and is physically ill >today. He is sick to his stomach and his IBS is very painful. Rumblings >already of last year and his anxiety/OCD resulting in physical illness. I >know these are extreme circumstances but I can't help but feel so bad for >him. He seemed to be having such a good start to the school year and his new >school. >My thoughts are with you and all your children. >/NY > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2001 Report Share Posted September 12, 2001 We are in NY about 20 minutes outside Manhattan and can see the smoke billowing from the top floor of our house. didn't go into school today and is trying to cope with what has happened so close to home. Many of our neighbors are missing and many of the children from 's school have parents who work in the Trade Center. When I first told when he woke up, he immediately escalated into a panic attack. But was quickly able to get it under control. This is very encouraging considering what his OCD fears have been in the past. His concerns were very legitimate and on target with everyone's fears in NY and throughout the country. I tried to keep him thinking within this range and tried to point out when the reassurance seeking was flowing over into the compulsion range. I told him that this would work against his comfort in the long run because it would only strengthen the OCD component of what he was feeling. It's so hard. We are all in shock as I'm sure you all are. Many of our children who are already struggling with their return to school will probably be on " overload " much earlier in the school year. Day 2 My husband was supposed to fly home from Texas today (he flew there on Monday night) but to my relief and 's, he will be driving back to NY with 2 colleagues. I don't care how much time it takes at this point just as long as he doesn't fly. is still home from school and is physically ill today. He is sick to his stomach and his IBS is very painful. Rumblings already of last year and his anxiety/OCD resulting in physical illness. I know these are extreme circumstances but I can't help but feel so bad for him. He seemed to be having such a good start to the school year and his new school. My thoughts are with you and all your children. /NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2001 Report Share Posted September 12, 2001 Dear , My heart goes out to you and , and of course to all your fellow NYers. It is awful enough out here, so far away, (there are even a couple parents from OUR school missing and we are in Nevada), but I absolutely can't imagine what you are going through. Please give extra hugs from all of us and be assured that we are all sending hugs and prayers to you and to everyone who lost loved ones yesterday, or are still waiting to find out. Take care of yourselves. in Reno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2001 Report Share Posted September 12, 2001 I have not written in awhile, but being a former New Yorker with at least one good friend who worked downtown, I am compelled to make an observation. OCD involves imaginary fears. This catastrophe is the stuff of real fears. We are going to see a surge of PTSD. The two disorders are very similar and are treated in much the same way: exposure. We have no choice but to gently and tactfully inform our children that sometimes, really bad things happen in the world. This one was caused by bad people. We need to tell them to be grateful they live far from the catastrophe and to count their blessings. Bad things sometimes do happen to good people. We are not in control over some things and we need to accept that. Doing what you can do to help others less fortunate can help you feel more in control and that you make a difference. This exposure might help the children become more realistic about what the world can sometimes be about which puts the imaginary fears in perspective. In some paradoxical way, it could help OCD to be replaced by sadness and a sobering reality. By the way, I found out my friend is safe as are all my loved ones in NY. I am counting my blessings. God help us all. Mamimiz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2001 Report Share Posted September 12, 2001 , I hope today is better for . We are 1 hour from NYC in CT. Bill's old office used to be on 30th St. but he works out of NJ office most of the time except for appointments in the city. is handling this whole thing quite well - talking about it and watching it on TV without obsessing or meltdowns. (non-OCD child) was more upset - she was afraid Bill had been in the city yesterday, and not in NJ. A friend of hers has an aunt who worked on 100th floor of one of the towers - we hadn't heard yet if she was there. Many people in this part of CT work in the city - Wall St. etc. Last night we had a 6:00 Mass and it was as crowded as a Sunday morning - 11 of us were there to sing - it helped alot. I spent all day crying as I watched. I have spent time in the city many times. Bill and I went to "Windows On The World" restaurant that was on top of one of the towers with 2 other couples in 1980 for a special dinner (we had little money back then so it was really special). We sat at a table right on one of the windows looking uptown. Last month, we went sailing with friends and it was one of those perfect days - like today - blue skies, clear - and from the boat on Long Island Sound we could see Manhatten and the towers perfectly. It is very weird to think the skyline is now forever changed. I feel so sad for everyone. I hope everyone's children are doing okay with this and we will find a way to heal. Anne in CT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2001 Report Share Posted September 12, 2001 Anne: I too sat in front of the tv yesterday -- my hands trembling while trying to hold back the tears. President Bush was here for a mere 1-1/2 hours at the air force base. Our neighborhood is on the total opposite side of town. We frequently get fighter jets circling for practice, along with other air craft, but knowing they were here to protect the President was different, I can't even described the feeling I had. The out pour of generosity still continues with donations of money, blood and medical supplies (at 2:30 yesterday afternoon one location had already collected $17,000 with people just driving by). Churches all around town had special prayer services. The school the boys' go to had "lock down" (all doors locked except the front door and no outside recess) and were told what had happened. was upset at first but seems to be dealing with it o.k. so far (I don't think he understand the seriousness of it). I never thought this would happen in the US; I feel helpless not being able to help those in need directly. I just prayer for our nation and our people. It is hard to comprehend that we will be going to war to ensure our democracy and freedom. I was very touched when Congress sang "America". I think finally people across the US will finally understand what patriotism is all about -- which seemed to disappear after Vietnam. My father was in WWII and we grew up knowing how special we were for living in the US and how the people fought to save it. My mother flew the US flag everyday (except one New Years it ended upside down due to too much celebrating - smile). My father assured me that we will prevail, but it's not over yet (he's now 80 yo). Well, I've babbled long enough with my heavy heart. I'm very glad that Bill was in NJ -- I feel so sorry for those who are grieving for those they lost yesterday. God bless, our children will come through with the help of us and our strength and courage (we all have demonstrated it throughout the years with our OCDers). Tamra Re: NYupdate , I hope today is better for . We are 1 hour from NYC in CT. Bill's old office used to be on 30th St. but he works out of NJ office most of the time except for appointments in the city. is handling this whole thing quite well - talking about it and watching it on TV without obsessing or meltdowns. (non-OCD child) was more upset - she was afraid Bill had been in the city yesterday, and not in NJ. A friend of hers has an aunt who worked on 100th floor of one of the towers - we hadn't heard yet if she was there. Many people in this part of CT work in the city - Wall St. etc. Last night we had a 6:00 Mass and it was as crowded as a Sunday morning - 11 of us were there to sing - it helped alot. I spent all day crying as I watched. I have spent time in the city many times. Bill and I went to "Windows On The World" restaurant that was on top of one of the towers with 2 other couples in 1980 for a special dinner (we had little money back then so it was really special). We sat at a table right on one of the windows looking uptown. Last month, we went sailing with friends and it was one of those perfect days - like today - blue skies, clear - and from the boat on Long Island Sound we could see Manhatten and the towers perfectly. It is very weird to think the skyline is now forever changed. I feel so sad for everyone. I hope everyone's children are doing okay with this and we will find a way to heal. Anne in CT You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may subscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List at parentsofadultswithOCD-subscribe . You may subscribe to the OCD and Homeschooling List at ocdandhomeschooling-subscribe . You may change your subscription format or access the files, bookmarks, and archives for our list at . Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at lharkins@... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2001 Report Share Posted September 12, 2001 , My heart goes out to you and . What an awful experience for you. I am glad, though, that managed better than you'd expected and that your husband is making his way home. My husband, too, is on his way home from Canada. He caught a ride with fellow conference attendees to Bangor, Maine. He'll rent a car to drive the rest of the way home. -Jean > We are in NY about 20 minutes outside Manhattan and can see the smoke > billowing from the top floor of our house. didn't go into school today > and is trying to cope with what has happened so close to home. Many of our > neighbors are missing and many of the children from 's school have > parents who work in the Trade Center. When I first told when he woke > up, he immediately escalated into a panic attack. But was quickly able to > get it under control. This is very encouraging considering what his OCD > fears have been in the past. His concerns were very legitimate and on target > with everyone's fears in NY and throughout the country. I tried to keep him > thinking within this range and tried to point out when the reassurance > seeking was flowing over into the compulsion range. I told him that this > would work against his comfort in the long run because it would only > strengthen the OCD component of what he was feeling. > It's so hard. We are all in shock as I'm sure you all are. Many of our > children who are already struggling with their return to school will probably > be on " overload " much earlier in the school year. > Day 2 > My husband was supposed to fly home from Texas today (he flew there on Monday > night) but to my relief and 's, he will be driving back to NY with 2 > colleagues. I don't care how much time it takes at this point just as long > as he doesn't fly. is still home from school and is physically ill > today. He is sick to his stomach and his IBS is very painful. Rumblings > already of last year and his anxiety/OCD resulting in physical illness. I > know these are extreme circumstances but I can't help but feel so bad for > him. He seemed to be having such a good start to the school year and his new > school. > My thoughts are with you and all your children. > /NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2001 Report Share Posted September 12, 2001 Dear , in NY, I am glad to see that you have written. I was concerned about you guys. I ended up giving ziv a half a buspar last night to take the edge of her nerves. She couldnt eat, think clearly or stop obsessing and was asking me to help her. Tom has been active, rather than allow himself to obsess. Surprisingly he is not asking reasurance questions. Adi has been educating herself with her peers, which she feels good about. I dont know how she would have made it without her friends. Could benefit from some time with his peers? How about setting up a visit with Dr. F.? or maybe with his peers that have ocd? I would try, as much as you can, to return to his regular routine. I think it will help him deal with this change in his life. Perhaps he can volunteer to help others, or families are caught up in this tragedy? Maybe his high school will organize a work force to help the families (cooking meals, child care, etc.)? i hope that things will smooth out sooner, rather than later, take care of yourself! regards to bill.... wendy, in canada _______________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2001 Report Share Posted September 14, 2001 : My prayers and thoughts are with you, your friends, NY and the nation. The whole nation is mourning. I can't imagine actually being there and seeing the smoke and not being able to see the Towers anymore. We here in the Mid-West are terribly upset and concerned and praying for the survivors, the rescuers, their families, etc. and our nation. I hope is doing better. I'm sure it will take a lot of time to heal. Will he be able to see his therapist soon? Sorry for the late reply but I'm finally getting around to reading my posts since I've been so absorbed with what has happened and trying to help any way I can being this far away. Tamra Omaha, NE Re: NYupdate > We are in NY about 20 minutes outside Manhattan and can see the smoke > billowing from the top floor of our house. didn't go into school today > and is trying to cope with what has happened so close to home. Many of our > neighbors are missing and many of the children from 's school have > parents who work in the Trade Center. When I first told when he woke > up, he immediately escalated into a panic attack. But was quickly able to > get it under control. This is very encouraging considering what his OCD > fears have been in the past. His concerns were very legitimate and on target > with everyone's fears in NY and throughout the country. I tried to keep him > thinking within this range and tried to point out when the reassurance > seeking was flowing over into the compulsion range. I told him that this > would work against his comfort in the long run because it would only > strengthen the OCD component of what he was feeling. > It's so hard. We are all in shock as I'm sure you all are. Many of our > children who are already struggling with their return to school will probably > be on " overload " much earlier in the school year. > Day 2 > My husband was supposed to fly home from Texas today (he flew there on Monday > night) but to my relief and 's, he will be driving back to NY with 2 > colleagues. I don't care how much time it takes at this point just as long > as he doesn't fly. is still home from school and is physically ill > today. He is sick to his stomach and his IBS is very painful. Rumblings > already of last year and his anxiety/OCD resulting in physical illness. I > know these are extreme circumstances but I can't help but feel so bad for > him. He seemed to be having such a good start to the school year and his new > school. > My thoughts are with you and all your children. > /NY > > > You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may subscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List at parentsofadultswithOCD-subscribe . You may subscribe to the OCD and Homeschooling List at ocdandhomeschooling-subscribe . You may change your subscription format or access the files, bookmarks, and archives for our list at . Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at lharkins@... . > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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