Tamra-- Talking Too Much (and Mars vs. Venus)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/30/01 11:10:13 AM Eastern Daylight Time, tjwulff@... writes:

Joni:

I have the same problem as you of yapping too much -- as calls it.

Some duct tape would do me good too!!! (SMILE) also has a broad vocabulary of potty words and needs to go to the bathroom like to get it all out. What a great idea, where do you come up with them. I use a lot of them -- of course, not all ideas work with every child, but I'll try anything once. Basically I need to shut up and ignore a lot of 's "yappy". Thanks. Oh, screaming in my room has always worked for me, even as a child.

Tamra

Hey Tam'

Let's start our own 'Duct Tape' club - and we'll all meditate in SILENCE-- and communicate via ESP! I don't know where I come up with my 'ideas'--- they just come to me when I need them. I try every day to OPEN MYSELF UP to PEACE so that I can THINK.

In this highly emotion-charged environment I live in, geez ... I can't think sometimes!!! I never expected this with SONS!!! If anything, I'd expect a house full of girls to be so emotional, but hell... boys are just as moody and cranky too (esp. when they go thru' they're hormones at the same time the youngest is diagnosed with OCD)!!! The thing is, girls are more verbal--- and boys tend to be more physical with their moods. And, I think I could deal with the verbal stuff alot easier than the physical aggression!!! So, me and my sons have POLARIZED at times because I start to talk too much-- and they retaliate by getting physical-- and THAT'S something that makes the HAIRS stand up on my head (and they KNOW that!!) Why else would they do it?

My husband told me to put duct tape on my mouth, take a kick-boxing class-- and silently knock the crap out of them-- and put them in their place!!! I might just do that. (gawd, I feel so ganged UP on sometimes!!! It's Mars ATTACKS Venus around HERE!) But--- I guess they feel run over by my MOUTH sometimes!!

You'll like this Tamra: Today, and I were coming up with our 'Red Flag' or 'back off' words to let me know when he's getting angry. Are you ready for this? He said (without any prompting from me) -- "Ok, Mom... when I can't take anymore WORDS from you... I'll say 'LET GO' ok?" I nearly fell over! I said, 'You got it. Mom needs to stop worrying about YOU and let go, and worry about ME, right?" He said 'yep - but there you go again... talking too much.' LOL!!!!

See? If I had a girl, we could yap, yap, yap all day long. But these boys can't take very much of it!!! You know what his therapist told me the other day? Since I'm the only female in the house, I should go talk to my Cabbage Patch Doll. (?? huh ??) *big laugh* I said, "Well... THAT'S new. I wonder what she's doing tomorrow? Do ya suppose we should do lunch together too?" We both laughed (I think she empathizes with my situation here). I added that I'll talk LESS to these guys-- and more to my girlfriends on the PHONE, or my OCD Parents support group when I need to GET IT OUT - the only way we girls can."

But, (uh oh... I'm still on a roll here) I *was* getting quiet yesterday, reading a book *for me* (instead of for or anyone else) and get this: Aug. 29th's message in "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie is all about OWNING YOUR ENERGY-- and learning to keep it on the INSIDE. (was that for ME or what?) It goes on to say that some of us have "mastered the art of giving away our energy..." and that's me too!! I need to HOLD on to it, and let it work for *me* instead of spilling it out on everyone else. It's probably just my "nervous energy" making me get this way (due to the high level of 's *scary* emotions lately), but I need to keep this energy - and deal with whatever I need to deal with (like physical PAIN, LOL) instead of trying to **escape into somebody else's problems!!!**

I'm learning... oh how I'm LEARNING!!! And every day is a NEW day!!

((lots of hugs to all, and a BIG one for ME too!!))

(((((Joni)))))

[Guest guest]

Joni:

I don't believe it -- You addressed it to "Tam"; growing up that's what everyone called me. Today only hubby and a good friend call me that -- I haven't heard it from anyone else in YEARS -- thanks for taking me back to my youth!!! Tam is still fine with me.

I've thought about Tae Bow (SP???) that might get rid of a lot of pent up frustration/energy or whatever you want to call it.

My parents just got back from Colorado -- they were visiting my cousin's family and some friends. My mom called this morning letting me know they were back in AZ and told me they believe their 8-1/2 yo has OCD. I must get a hold of her to get her reading some books, etc. According to Mom, 's "counselor" says he has it. So I need to find out when she's taking him to a pdoc to get a real diagnosis. IF ANYONE OUT THERE KNOWS OF A GOOD PDOC AND THERAPIST IN DENVER, LET ME KNOW. I bet she's frustrated and scared -- I was. Anyway, where I was going with this is that other than this group I have no one else to talk to about who REALLY understand (thank God for all of you), and now I'll have someone in the family, too.

Take care and DON'T TALK TOO MUCH (LOL). Hugs to you.

Tamra (a/ka Tam)

Tamra-- Talking Too Much (and Mars vs. Venus)

In a message dated 8/30/01 11:10:13 AM Eastern Daylight Time, tjwulff@... writes:

Joni: I have the same problem as you of yapping too much -- as calls it. Some duct tape would do me good too!!! (SMILE) also has a broad vocabulary of potty words and needs to go to the bathroom like to get it all out. What a great idea, where do you come up with them. I use a lot of them -- of course, not all ideas work with every child, but I'll try anything once. Basically I need to shut up and ignore a lot of 's "yappy". Thanks. Oh, screaming in my room has always worked for me, even as a child. Tamra Hey Tam' Let's start our own 'Duct Tape' club - and we'll all meditate in SILENCE-- and communicate via ESP! I don't know where I come up with my 'ideas'--- they just come to me when I need them. I try every day to OPEN MYSELF UP to PEACE so that I can THINK. In this highly emotion-charged environment I live in, geez ... I can't think sometimes!!! I never expected this with SONS!!! If anything, I'd expect a house full of girls to be so emotional, but hell... boys are just as moody and cranky too (esp. when they go thru' they're hormones at the same time the youngest is diagnosed with OCD)!!! The thing is, girls are more verbal--- and boys tend to be more physical with their moods. And, I think I could deal with the verbal stuff alot easier than the physical aggression!!! So, me and my sons have POLARIZED at times because I start to talk too much-- and they retaliate by getting physical-- and THAT'S something that makes the HAIRS stand up on my head (and they KNOW that!!) Why else would they do it? My husband told me to put duct tape on my mouth, take a kick-boxing class-- and silently knock the crap out of them-- and put them in their place!!! I might just do that. (gawd, I feel so ganged UP on sometimes!!! It's Mars ATTACKS Venus around HERE!) But--- I guess they feel run over by my MOUTH sometimes!! You'll like this Tamra: Today, and I were coming up with our 'Red Flag' or 'back off' words to let me know when he's getting angry. Are you ready for this? He said (without any prompting from me) -- "Ok, Mom... when I can't take anymore WORDS from you... I'll say 'LET GO' ok?" I nearly fell over! I said, 'You got it. Mom needs to stop worrying about YOU and let go, and worry about ME, right?" He said 'yep - but there you go again... talking too much.' LOL!!!! See? If I had a girl, we could yap, yap, yap all day long. But these boys can't take very much of it!!! You know what his therapist told me the other day? Since I'm the only female in the house, I should go talk to my Cabbage Patch Doll. (?? huh ??) *big laugh* I said, "Well... THAT'S new. I wonder what she's doing tomorrow? Do ya suppose we should do lunch together too?" We both laughed (I think she empathizes with my situation here). I added that I'll talk LESS to these guys-- and more to my girlfriends on the PHONE, or my OCD Parents support group when I need to GET IT OUT - the only way we girls can." But, (uh oh... I'm still on a roll here) I *was* getting quiet yesterday, reading a book *for me* (instead of for or anyone else) and get this: Aug. 29th's message in "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie is all about OWNING YOUR ENERGY-- and learning to keep it on the INSIDE. (was that for ME or what?) It goes on to say that some of us have "mastered the art of giving away our energy..." and that's me too!! I need to HOLD on to it, and let it work for *me* instead of spilling it out on everyone else. It's probably just my "nervous energy" making me get this way (due to the high level of 's *scary* emotions lately), but I need to keep this energy - and deal with whatever I need to deal with (like physical PAIN, LOL) instead of trying to **escape into somebody else's problems!!!** I'm learning... oh how I'm LEARNING!!! And every day is a NEW day!! ((lots of hugs to all, and a BIG one for ME too!!)) (((((Joni))))) You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may subscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List at parentsofadultswithOCD-subscribe . You may subscribe to the OCD and Homeschooling List at ocdandhomeschooling-subscribe . You may change your subscription format or access the files, bookmarks, and archives for our list at . Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at lharkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Tamra and Joni,

Ok, Ok, I have to get in here! Talk about " talking too much " ...I am

so sick of me, I can't stand it. I say the same things over and over

and I know it is useless. But honestly, talks as much as I

do (atypical male, I guess) and engages me in these conversations.

Sometimes I do better than others at walking away...all the while

listening to , " Mom, Mom, Mooooommmmmm! " The other night though, I

packed an overnight bag and was out the door. I told Joe just to go

to work in the morning (he goes early) and I would be back in time to

get them to band. I eventually ended up staying, but the overnight

bag is parked by the front door to use at a moment's notice.

Joni, I love 's " cue " ! Smart kid!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so far behind on reading these e-mails, I apologize for any late

responses. School is beginning its 5th week and the alegators are

circling.

Melinda S.

Dallas

> In a message dated 8/30/01 11:10:13 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

> tjwulff@h... writes:

>

>

> > Joni:

> >

> > I have the same problem as you of yapping too much -- as

calls it.

> > Some duct tape would do me good too!!! (SMILE) also has a

broad

> > vocabulary of potty words and needs to go to the bathroom like

to get

> > it all out. What a great idea, where do you come up with them.

I use a

> > lot of them -- of course, not all ideas work with every child,

but I'll try

> > anything once. Basically I need to shut up and ignore a lot of

's

> > " yappy " . Thanks. Oh, screaming in my room has always worked for

me, even

> > as a child.

> >

> > Tamra

> >

>

> Hey Tam'

> Let's start our own 'Duct Tape' club - and we'll all meditate in

SILENCE--

> and communicate via ESP!

> I don't know where I come up with my 'ideas'--- they just come to

me when I

> need them. I try every day to OPEN MYSELF UP to PEACE so that I

can THINK.

> In this highly emotion-charged environment I live in, geez ... I

can't think

> sometimes!!! I never expected this with SONS!!! If anything, I'd

expect a

> house full of girls to be so emotional, but hell... boys are just

as moody

> and cranky too (esp. when they go thru' they're hormones at the

same time the

> youngest is diagnosed with OCD)!!! The thing is, girls are more

verbal---

> and boys tend to be more physical with their moods. And, I think I

could

> deal with the verbal stuff alot easier than the physical

aggression!!! So,

> me and my sons have POLARIZED at times because I start to talk too

much-- and

> they retaliate by getting physical-- and THAT'S something that

makes the

> HAIRS stand up on my head (and they KNOW that!!) Why else would

they do it?

>

> My husband told me to put duct tape on my mouth, take a kick-boxing

class--

> and silently knock the crap out of them-- and put them in their

place!!! I

> might just do that. (gawd, I feel so ganged UP on

sometimes!!! It's

> Mars ATTACKS Venus around HERE!) But--- I guess they feel run over

by my

> MOUTH sometimes!!

>

> You'll like this Tamra: Today, and I were coming up with

our 'Red

> Flag' or 'back off' words to let me know when he's getting angry.

Are you

> ready for this? He said (without any prompting from me) -- " Ok,

Mom... when

> I can't take anymore WORDS from you... I'll say 'LET GO' ok? " I

nearly fell

> over! I said, 'You got it. Mom needs to stop worrying about YOU

and let go,

> and worry about ME, right? " He said 'yep - but there you go

again... talking

> too much.' LOL!!!!

>

> See? If I had a girl, we could yap, yap, yap all day long. But

these boys

> can't take very much of it!!! You know what his therapist told me

the other

> day? Since I'm the only female in the house, I should go talk to

my Cabbage

> Patch Doll. (?? huh ??) *big laugh* I said, " Well... THAT'S

new. I

> wonder what she's doing tomorrow? Do ya suppose we should do lunch

together

> too? "

> We both laughed (I think she empathizes with my situation here).

I added

> that I'll talk LESS to these guys-- and more to my girlfriends on

the PHONE,

> or my OCD Parents support group when I need to GET IT OUT - the

only way we

> girls can. "

>

> But, (uh oh... I'm still on a roll here) I *was* getting quiet

> yesterday, reading a book *for me* (instead of for or anyone

else) and

> get this: Aug. 29th's message in " The Language of Letting Go " by

Melody

> Beattie is all about OWNING YOUR ENERGY-- and learning to keep it

on the

> INSIDE. (was that for ME or what?) It goes on to say that some of

us have

> " mastered the art of giving away our energy... " and that's me

too!! I need

> to HOLD on to it, and let it work for *me* instead of spilling it

out on

> everyone else. It's probably just my " nervous energy " making me

get this way

> (due to the high level of 's *scary* emotions lately), but I

need to

> keep this energy - and deal with whatever I need to deal with (like

physical

> PAIN, LOL) instead of trying to **escape into somebody else's

problems!!!**

> I'm learning... oh how I'm LEARNING!!! And every day is a NEW

day!!

> ((lots of hugs to all, and a BIG one for ME too!!))

> (((((Joni)))))