Re: Random Firm thoughts

[Guest guest]

I haven't seen any firm videos yet but this just cracked me up! Thanks for an entertaining read Tess!

Random Firm thoughts

Since I still haven't discovered a high-speed dub option on Mom's DVDrecorder, transferring tapes has become a mass preview. Randomtotally useless and trivial comments to follow, since I can't containmyself and have to talk to *someone* who's seen these too!TOUGH TAPE 2: Wow, there's a background exerciser in this one withawesome arms. She's a black woman, wearing a red leotard with blacktrunks over it. Talk about a gun show! She's got a better physiquethan any token Firm male I've seen so far.It's nice to see her there-- seems the Firm favors instructors andeven background folks with bodies like gazelles, which I'll neverhave. I'll never have Ms. Big Gun's physique either, but I'll becloser to her than to anyone I've seen yet on the Aubusson carpet. ;-)CLASSIC 4: What the #$^ was going on with when this onewas filmed?! I literally gasped in horror when I saw her, and itwasn't just me-- my husband walked through, glanced at the screen andstopped short, eyes widening. "Good Lord, that woman's anorexic!"Indeed she does appear so, here. Emaciated and haggard-faced. I'mstunned the Firm allowed her to be in this one, in her condition. Ihope she was just coming back after a terrible bout with the flu orsomething... She was almost too thin in Classic 1, but at least thereshe looked healthy.CLASSIC 6: Nice to see some grey hair in this one. ;-) Since I'm aBoomer, too, it's nice to see officially acknowledged that the Firmisn't only for 20-something ex-ballet dancers. The workout looks fun,too.THE TORTOISE: Uh oh, looks like they get a little dancey in this oneand the Hare. :-X Ah well, I shall reserve judgement till I actuallydo the workout. Good grief, this instructor looks like she has an 18inch waist and while that belt's wide, I don't think it's wide enoughto act as a corset.Have none of these women borne children?! The lack of any curve belowthe navel is a bit daunting-- probably should be encouraging, butsince I still have a literal *fold-over* there, I suspect nothingshort of a tummy tuck will ever get me really flat there now. I keephoping it's just the "first-hired" fat and it'll go away eventually--but it feels now more like just loose skin. :-( I guess there has tobe some lingering price for letting myself become obese. I'm fortunatethat my skin's stayed tight everywhere else. Stretch-marked like aroad map of rural Georgia, but at least it's not dangling anywhereelse. ;-)HARE: Appearing as a backgrounder in a Firm video: $ dollars.Having your tampon string peeking out of your leotard in a Firm video:Priceless.They showed this poor woman's crotch not once, but at least twice,that I noticed. She's wearing a lilac leotard and is near the sidemirror. That brilliantly white string really showed up, poor thing!I don't know who any of these folks are, but there's a gal in the backwearing a dark greyish t-shirt, whose boy resembles what mine isbecoming. Even if I loathe this workout, I may watch it now and thenjust to help me visualize what I want. :-)Jazz hands? Noooo! LOL, sorry, jazz hands are sort of a familyin-joke, and one far too convoluted (and probably not funny to anyoneelse) to go into here.Hmm... those barbells look comfy. I bet I could duct-tape some foampipe insulation to mine to get the same cushy effect. Well, thehubby's stirring, so I suspect I won't get any more dubbed for awhile.TessOff to add to the Lowe's shopping list for the day!-- "...I am too many this morning..."Lessa~Dragonflight~