validation - long

[Guest guest]

Avery had her second appt with the pdoc today. She's been on Luvox for about 2 weeks now, so he just wanted to check and see how she was doing. He got to see Avery being very Avery today - talking non-stop, interrupting often, speaking in baby talk, arranging and rearranging the dolls in his dollhouse in size and age order, and finally at the very end, just as I was getting up to leave, Avery did her hand down the panties, then finger up the nose trick. I pointed over her head, to make sure he noticed, he nodded. When we got outside the office, I asked him about it. He said he still doesn't know if it's a complex tic or a compulsion, but leans toward a compulsion. Since Avery refuses to talk about it, it's hard to know for sure, but she definitely has obvious anxiety and oc issues.

It's such a relief to have professional validation again. Our last therapist, who was supposedly such an expert (head of the anxiety disorders clinic at the University of Texas, well respected in academic circles, etc.), never believed that Avery had any ocd, just anxiety. He ended up being a real jerk, and treating us very unprofessionally. He would not return phone calls for weeks, leaving us hanging, not show up for appointments, not give me receipts so I could file insurance, etc. He always talked to me in a rather condescending way, but the kids really liked him and I thought that was the important thing. He only saw Avery a few times, and only worked with her on her dog phobia (his specialty). He did get her past that but never addressed any other issues. Actually, she just transformed that fear into an obsession over cats. Sigh...

Anyway, it was nice to have someone besides family see Avery's little quirky behavior and to have someone I respect and trust say, "Yes, there is a problem." Even though I've been dealing with this in all 3 kids for a while now, I still doubt myself from time to time and start to wonder if maybe it's just me with the problem! Maybe everybody's kids do these weird things.

The pdoc wants to give the Luvox a few more weeks, doesn't want to increase it yet since it's already so activating, and is considering adding Buspar. He said, as has been reported here, that Buspar won't help ocd, but would help the anxiety, which in turn, could help Avery fight the ocd on her own. He was very concerned when I told him of Avery's latest transgression. Last night, we let Ian and Avery go back outside for 15 minutes at about 8:15. It's the first week of school, and they're suffering withdrawal from friends and having to come in so early. We have set rules about how far they can go on our street. At 8:30, I went out to get them. I found Ian, just a little past the boundary, on his scooter. I asked where Avery was, and he said she had gone with and another boy to the next street. Avery is 8, is 13. and the other boy were going door to door selling fundraiser stuff for the middle school football team. I don't know . His brother was in Ian's class and they live around the corner, a few doors down, but still, I don't know him, I don't know his family, and my 8 year old daughter has no business hanging out with a 13 year old boy! I walked around the block and didn't find them, so got in the car and started driving. It was dark by now. I finally found them 2 streets away. Avery was barefoot. They were still going door to door. Now, I know Avery, I'm sure she just tagged along, whether they wanted her to or not. She was too far away to get home alone by that point (especially in the dark) since she's always been too afraid to do much exploring on her own or ride a bike. I suppose I should be grateful that they didn't just run off and leave her alone in the dark, or be mean to her, or anything. Apparently, they good-naturedly let her tag-a-long, and did nothing inappropriate. I guess it didn't occur to them to just walk her home. Of course, this is Texas, and Football is King, and if their coach told them they had to sell so many coupon books that night, they were probably afraid to stop before they'd sold their quota!

Not to be pessimistic, but somehow, I just don't think Luvox is going to be the miracle drug for Avery. It's not as bad as Paxil (yet). Is it asking too much to find something that keeps my child from cringing in a corner, afraid of the world, but doesn't turn her into a totally uninhibited ball of pure energy careening through the universe talking at the speed of light?

in TX