Re: Personal: Low Labido

[Guest guest]

I tend towards the opposite. The more I work out and the more I do for

myself the sexier I feel.

Make sure are getting enough sleep and some serious you time. Sleep

deprivation may be key especially with the baby.

There may also be some hidden hostility towards your man. (Been there,

done that) Is he supportive of your goals? Is he helping out with

parenting? Housework? Sometimes those feelings just sneak up from

behind and you don't even realize it until he says " You know we

haven't been together in 2 1/2 weeks? What's up with you? " (Then I

could have killed him!! Didn't. but sure wanted to)

Then, even if you don't want to, do it any way. The first time I was

given this advice I thought " you people are nuts. " But it totally

helped build back the fire and change his attitude about me. I was

flat out honest with him too. Don't want to really, I'm tired, but

I'll participate for a quickie. LOL The fact that I was willing to do

something for him when I was less then half interested made him see

how he hadn't really be doing anything for me.

Now, I'm his queen and he's my king.

Good luck. I do remember how it is when the babes are little.

Deb

>

> I know this is really a weird question but has anyone noticed a low

> labido doing their body for life challenge? It seems the more I

> workout, eat right and look good the less I would like my dh to come

> near me. I know there may be other factors such as a 4m old baby but

> I was curious if others had this problem and what they have done about

> it. Thanks

> Annlouise

>

[Guest guest]

I would guess it's more the baby than the BFL. I felt the same way at

times when my son was that young. Hard to feel sexy after being

thrown up on, peed on, and the like...

Liz

>

> I know this is really a weird question but has anyone noticed a low

> labido doing their body for life challenge? It seems the more I

> workout, eat right and look good the less I would like my dh to come

> near me. I know there may be other factors such as a 4m old baby

but

> I was curious if others had this problem and what they have done

about

> it. Thanks

> Annlouise

>

[Guest guest]

I think Deb gave some great advice.

I have seven children, my youngest is three months old and I understand how

you feel. It will get better with time, you just have to hang in there.

Why do you think that the more weight you lose, the less you want to be with

your husband. I don't understand that, is it something you could put into

words?

a

[Guest guest]

To piggy back on Debra's response. Dr. wrote a book that has revitalized

my marriage. " The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands " is a must read for any

woman who is struggling in this area, for any reason, but who does not want to

struggle in this area.

All of the complaints I used to have regarding dh, had dissolved. The man is

loving me and I am enjoying him more and more each day. BFL is only adding to

the great feelings I have about myself and my marriage.

I felt as you did when I was nursing and caring for young children at home all

day. I simply did not want to be touched after having the little ones pull on

my all day, but my perspective was all wrong. Because I had no one to show me

how to shift my perspective, I continued to meditate on how I DID NOT WANT TO BE

TOUCHED!!!

-

" Out of clutter, find Simplicity. From discord, find Harmony. In the middle of

difficulty lies opportunity. "

Albert Einstein

Re: Personal: Low Labido

I tend towards the opposite. The more I work out and the more I do for

myself the sexier I feel.

Make sure are getting enough sleep and some serious you time. Sleep

deprivation may be key especially with the baby.

There may also be some hidden hostility towards your man. (Been there,

done that) Is he supportive of your goals? Is he helping out with

parenting? Housework? Sometimes those feelings just sneak up from

behind and you don't even realize it until he says " You know we

haven't been together in 2 1/2 weeks? What's up with you? " (Then I

could have killed him!! Didn't. but sure wanted to)

Then, even if you don't want to, do it any way. The first time I was

given this advice I thought " you people are nuts. " But it totally

helped build back the fire and change his attitude about me. I was

flat out honest with him too. Don't want to really, I'm tired, but

I'll participate for a quickie. LOL The fact that I was willing to do

something for him when I was less then half interested made him see

how he hadn't really be doing anything for me.

Now, I'm his queen and he's my king.

Good luck. I do remember how it is when the babes are little.

Deb

>

> I know this is really a weird question but has anyone noticed a low

> labido doing their body for life challenge? It seems the more I

> workout, eat right and look good the less I would like my dh to come

> near me. I know there may be other factors such as a 4m old baby but

> I was curious if others had this problem and what they have done about

> it. Thanks

> Annlouise

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you everyone. Yes, I was thinking it had more to do with the

baby issue and not exercising but I wanted to see what others had to

say.

I have 4 kids (2 older boys ages 11 and 7 and 2 younger girls ages

20m and 4m). I have been pregnant back-to-back 4 times with the two

girls to show for it (last one unplanned and lost the first two) so

my body is pretty messed up anyway but I have never had this low a

labido. However I am homeschooling the two older kids and I think

the lady who said that I don't want to be touched after being

grabbed at and needed by the kids all day hit the nail on the head.

Other things are just finding time/pure exhaustion.

I have lost 52LBS as of today!!! I went on the EFL program when my

dd was 5wks but I had a hard time with getting exercise in until

recently. I have been on the challenge since 1/1/06 and have done

everything as close to the book as I can. Started at 192 and

weighed in at 186 halfway in week 2. I guess making sure I get the

exercise has made me more tired at night when the kids are finally

in bed and dh has to get up early so...needless to say, scheduling

is tough.

I read the Care and Feeding of Husbands and found some good stuff

but I didn't like the way Dr. said it so it was a bit hard to

swallow. I personally really like the 5 love languages if anyone is

looking for a great relationship book!

Just a quick side note - I went to grab my arm for some reason and

was a bit shocked that my muscles are already starting to develop -

I was dancing today!

Annlouise

[Guest guest]

I read the 5 Love Languages! Good read. You're right, Dr. is harsh, but

it's what I needed to hear and the WAY I need to hear it! I can be really head

strong.

Anyway, glad to hear you're progressing with BFL in addition to all you have

going on over there. Do you allow the boys to help out around the house? Hope

you're not doing the Super Woman routine that we women can get caught up in!

I'm hsing too, so I can identity with you on many levels! Remember hubby came

first, so keep praying and it WILL all come together before you know it.

-

" Out of clutter, find Simplicity. From discord, find Harmony. In the middle of

difficulty lies opportunity. "

Albert Einstein

Re: Personal: Low Labido

Thank you everyone. Yes, I was thinking it had more to do with the

baby issue and not exercising but I wanted to see what others had to

say.

I have 4 kids (2 older boys ages 11 and 7 and 2 younger girls ages

20m and 4m).

[Guest guest]

Annlouise,

Congrats on your impressive weight loss so far! That is wonderful

progress!

As for the intimacy issue.....hubby and I have gone through that on

occassion. Usually it was around the time we were dealing with

something major with our son, and I was just physically and

emotionally drained.

One thing that hubby and I like to do is have a date night at least

once a month. I know with 4 kids, that would be harder for you to

do...but if you can find a sitter, it's well worth it. Sometimes we

would go to dinner and a movie. Sometimes we would take in a show

at the local theatre. And other times, we indulged, and went to a

hotel, ordered room service, and stayed in bed for a few hours.

I know nights out cost money, and hubby and are not well off by any

means. At the moment, neither of us are employed full time. It's

just something that we feel is really important to our

relationship. Something a wise friend told me when I was pregnant

with my son was that children will move out in 18 years, but the

hubby will still be there. And I don't want us to be strangers when

we are all alone again.

So, we scrimp and save what little we have left over to make time

for just the two of us. It's certianly worth the effort.

Liz

>

> Thank you everyone. Yes, I was thinking it had more to do with

the

> baby issue and not exercising but I wanted to see what others had

to

> say.

> I have 4 kids (2 older boys ages 11 and 7 and 2 younger girls ages

> 20m and 4m). I have been pregnant back-to-back 4 times with the

two

> girls to show for it (last one unplanned and lost the first two)

so

> my body is pretty messed up anyway but I have never had this low a

> labido. However I am homeschooling the two older kids and I think

> the lady who said that I don't want to be touched after being

> grabbed at and needed by the kids all day hit the nail on the

head.

> Other things are just finding time/pure exhaustion.

> I have lost 52LBS as of today!!! I went on the EFL program when

my

> dd was 5wks but I had a hard time with getting exercise in until

> recently. I have been on the challenge since 1/1/06 and have done

> everything as close to the book as I can. Started at 192 and

> weighed in at 186 halfway in week 2. I guess making sure I get

the

> exercise has made me more tired at night when the kids are finally

> in bed and dh has to get up early so...needless to say, scheduling

> is tough.

> I read the Care and Feeding of Husbands and found some good stuff

> but I didn't like the way Dr. said it so it was a bit hard

to

> swallow. I personally really like the 5 love languages if anyone

is

> looking for a great relationship book!

> Just a quick side note - I went to grab my arm for some reason and

> was a bit shocked that my muscles are already starting to develop -

> I was dancing today!

> Annlouise

>

[Guest guest]

<<Remember hubby came first>>

I LOVE this line! I hope you don't mind if I borrow it. I have a

friend who is going through this, and I think that is a GREAT way to

put it!

Liz

>

> I read the 5 Love Languages! Good read. You're right, Dr.

is harsh, but it's what I needed to hear and the WAY I need to hear

it! I can be really head strong.

>

> Anyway, glad to hear you're progressing with BFL in addition to

all you have going on over there. Do you allow the boys to help out

around the house? Hope you're not doing the Super Woman routine

that we women can get caught up in!

>

> I'm hsing too, so I can identity with you on many levels!

Remember hubby came first, so keep praying and it WILL all come

together before you know it.

>

> -

> " Out of clutter, find Simplicity. From discord, find Harmony. In

the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. "

> Albert Einstein

>

> Re: Personal: Low Labido

>

>

> Thank you everyone. Yes, I was thinking it had more to do with

the

> baby issue and not exercising but I wanted to see what others

had to

> say.

> I have 4 kids (2 older boys ages 11 and 7 and 2 younger girls

ages

> 20m and 4m).

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Because I had no one to show me how to shift my perspective, I

continued to meditate on how I DID NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED!!!

>

> -

You are so right. All day with the kids is was " Mommmy mommy mommy,

boob, boob, boob " . And then he would come home and it's be " Honey,

honey, honey, boob, boob, boob " . Every body taking from Mommy but no

one giving back. I just wanted to scream. And sadly, sometimes I did.

Deb

[Guest guest]

Hey Anne,

Just wanted to chime in here...I personally have struggled with low

labido since my son was born (he's five now - it's been a long haul).

It's improving now - and I think that the BFL program helps

immensely. Also, I've been seeing an acupuncturist more recently

(getting ready to conceive again) and that, too, has helped.

Is there a possibility that your thyroid or adrenals are out of

whack? One of the symptoms of low thyroid is low labido. Also,

childbirth and miscarriages can really throw women's thyroid off -

it's very common. You might consider getting your thyroid levels

checked by a physician with some experience with thyroid, an

endocrinologist is your best bet. You also might consider checking

out the book Thyroid Power. I'd check it out of the library (being a

fellow homeschooling mom, I'm assuming you make great use of

libraries) before buying it. The nutritional changes and exercise

recommendations are pretty compatable with BFL.

And, if your thyroid is low (or borderline) you can consider all

options. My levels were borderline so I chose to go to an

acupuncturist. She's got me on a supplement to support my adrenals

and my energy is up and my labido is returning.

Hope this is helpful.

Peace,

>

> I know this is really a weird question but has anyone noticed a low

> labido doing their body for life challenge? It seems the more I

> workout, eat right and look good the less I would like my dh to come

> near me. I know there may be other factors such as a 4m old baby

but

> I was curious if others had this problem and what they have done

about

> it. Thanks

> Annlouise

>

[Guest guest]

Mama Gena's books are great. Maybe you can google it and see what

you think. She stresses your happiness first.

>

> Thank you everyone. Yes, I was thinking it had more to do with the

> baby issue and not exercising but I wanted to see what others had

to

> say.

> I have 4 kids (2 older boys ages 11 and 7 and 2 younger girls ages

> 20m and 4m). I have been pregnant back-to-back 4 times with the

two

> girls to show for it (last one unplanned and lost the first two) so

> my body is pretty messed up anyway but I have never had this low a

> labido. However I am homeschooling the two older kids and I think

> the lady who said that I don't want to be touched after being

> grabbed at and needed by the kids all day hit the nail on the

head.

> Other things are just finding time/pure exhaustion.

> I have lost 52LBS as of today!!! I went on the EFL program when my

> dd was 5wks but I had a hard time with getting exercise in until

> recently. I have been on the challenge since 1/1/06 and have done

> everything as close to the book as I can. Started at 192 and

> weighed in at 186 halfway in week 2. I guess making sure I get the

> exercise has made me more tired at night when the kids are finally

> in bed and dh has to get up early so...needless to say, scheduling

> is tough.

> I read the Care and Feeding of Husbands and found some good stuff

> but I didn't like the way Dr. said it so it was a bit hard to

> swallow. I personally really like the 5 love languages if anyone

is

> looking for a great relationship book!

> Just a quick side note - I went to grab my arm for some reason and

> was a bit shocked that my muscles are already starting to develop -

> I was dancing today!

> Annlouise

>