Guest guest Posted September 16, 2005 Report Share Posted September 16, 2005 Oh, boy, I think I understand what you're in. I admit that I have always used my son's super-sensitive guilt as one of my primary parenting tools (rewards, restrictions, time-outs, taking away privileges . . . none of them have ever worked). So, I completely understand why you applied guilt and let it stick. It truly may be the key to getting him to reach deep down inside himself and find SOME way to take control of the rages. Seven is young , but it isn't unreasonable to think that it may be old enough for him to do it this time. On the bright side....my son, Cody, is now 14, on 20mg of lexapro and a spectacularly calm, happy, mildly ocd kid . . . for the first time of his life. Yes, it flared up with the hormones at 13...but now, just a year later, he's in a golden time of his life. You're doing fine....and you'll see yourself and your sons through this. > It seems like the only time I post is when I have something to vent > about. We have been having issues for the past couple of months with > daycare on my OCD son, I have posted about it before, how they > weren't doing what they needed to do during his fits/rages, however > you wish to classify them. Well today it all came to a head. I had to > work late, so my mom picked up the boys, calls me, and tells me that > I need to call daycare because Kody was just kicked out of daycare > permantely. Apparently, from what they told me, he got mad because he > had to get off the tractor toy and decided to throw a fit, then they > took him up to the office where he procedded to run out the door, > pretty much making a break for it. I know there had to be something > else to set him off like that, but I can't get a straight story from > them or him. He is now upset, which he should be, his actions decided > this, because he can't go back. Klay, my other son, is upset because, > obviously, he has to leave now too because I can't do two different > daycares. They have been at this daycare for 6 years and I can't > understand the sudden attitude.....I did find one daycare that had > openings, it is pretty small, so I am hoping that everything goes > well. > I did sit Kody down and lay it all out for him. I told him that it > wasn't fair that Klay has to leave when he did nothing wrong, that > this is his absolute last chance at daycare because if he gets kicked > out of a second one, no one will take him, then if that happens I > would have to quit work, which means no toys, no clothes, no food, > and then I would lose the insurance on Klay. While Kody wouldn't lose > that because he is covered under papa and my job is important so Klay > can have that insurance since he gets sick all the time. If I don't > have that and Klay gets sick, how am I going to be able to afford a > doctor when I have no job. So Kody took it as Klay would die if all > this happened. I hate to say this, but I let him think that. I > shouldn't have and I know I need to correct it, but I don't know how > to get through to him! > He is only 7, how much worse is it going to be when he is a > teenager????? There is no one, family or friend wise, that I can talk > to and they understand what this is like, how this affects all of us, > and what kind of pressure you live in. Not only do we deal with his > OCD, but we also have to live with the consequences of his rages. I > am so worried about the affect this is going to have on my youngest > son, I don't want him growing up hating his brother because of > everything we go through with him. > Then how do you get him to talk to you??? so you can figure out what > is setting off this horrible rages??? It is to the point that the > psychiatrist is wanting to up his OCD from 36mg to Lord knows what. I > don't want him to lose more weight than he already has, but I know > that I have to be honest about how he is doing lately. He is also on > 10mg of Lexapro, but......I just don't know. Should different > medication be tried? How do I reach him? get through to him? Is it > possible???????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 I'm so sorry Kody got kicked out of daycare. That is such a frustrating thing for the whole family. I hope that you will be able to find a kind, caring place for him and his brother. How long has your son been in treatment for OCD? I have two girls with it and the youngest one, , was seven when she was diagnosed and she had horrible rages until the OCD was under control. I would suggest contacting your son's doctor and explaining the whole situation to him. It sounds like to me that your son needs something different to be done--whether it be more of the same medication or a different one, I can't say. Unfortunately, he is unable to control what is going on inside him right now and your family needs some relief! I hope that you are able to get the help and support needed--and that the new daycare works out better for all of you. Once we got 's medication right, the rages stopped. Good luck, Kelley in NV P.S. I used to tell my husband that expecting to act a certain way when she was first struggling with her OCD was like expecting a person with no legs to walk. This really helped him to see that she was not able to control what was happening to her. I know that you feel awful about the whole situation and I hope that you have people around you who are able to provide support. The pressure must be just horrible and my heart goes out to you. Have you tried any kind of reward chart for behavior? We used to work on things with a sticker chart. We made sure that was rewarded frequently for attempting to control herself. The rewards don't have to be big either. I had a little box of inexpensive items that she loved to go through. We used to say she'd do anything for an ice cream cone! Does your son know he has OCD? Maybe you could sit down with him and let him know that you are angry with the OCD and not him and that you know he is really being bothered by the OCD. Explain to him that you want to help him feel better when he is at daycare and ask him what kinds of things would help him. Maybe he could come up with some suggestions that he feels he can work on. You could even get the new daycare in on it. If they are going to be caring for him, they should be willing to deal with the OCD too. I know I'm rambling here--I just wish I could make it easier for you. Take care of yourself. Kelley in NV Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 I'm so sorry Kody got kicked out of daycare. That is such a frustrating thing for the whole family. I hope that you will be able to find a kind, caring place for him and his brother. How long has your son been in treatment for OCD? I have two girls with it and the youngest one, , was seven when she was diagnosed and she had horrible rages until the OCD was under control. I would suggest contacting your son's doctor and explaining the whole situation to him. It sounds like to me that your son needs something different to be done--whether it be more of the same medication or a different one, I can't say. Unfortunately, he is unable to control what is going on inside him right now and your family needs some relief! I hope that you are able to get the help and support needed--and that the new daycare works out better for all of you. Once we got 's medication right, the rages stopped. Good luck, Kelley in NV P.S. I used to tell my husband that expecting to act a certain way when she was first struggling with her OCD was like expecting a person with no legs to walk. This really helped him to see that she was not able to control what was happening to her. I know that you feel awful about the whole situation and I hope that you have people around you who are able to provide support. The pressure must be just horrible and my heart goes out to you. Have you tried any kind of reward chart for behavior? We used to work on things with a sticker chart. We made sure that was rewarded frequently for attempting to control herself. The rewards don't have to be big either. I had a little box of inexpensive items that she loved to go through. We used to say she'd do anything for an ice cream cone! Does your son know he has OCD? Maybe you could sit down with him and let him know that you are angry with the OCD and not him and that you know he is really being bothered by the OCD. Explain to him that you want to help him feel better when he is at daycare and ask him what kinds of things would help him. Maybe he could come up with some suggestions that he feels he can work on. You could even get the new daycare in on it. If they are going to be caring for him, they should be willing to deal with the OCD too. I know I'm rambling here--I just wish I could make it easier for you. Take care of yourself. Kelley in NV Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Hey, ((hugs)) your way! Want to say that I, too, have done that, like when you let Kody think the worst about Klay and insurance. I have 3 sons; oldest is now 20, and the twins are 16. (a twin has OCD and Aspergers) While I know it can be hard to find time, maybe these next few days you can sit down with Kody and go over some past " events " and how he should have behaved or reacted or what else he could have said, etc. Whether it's sharing or politeness or listening to teacher/daycare or how to react when not finished with a toy/task and have to quit.... Ask him how other kids behave?? He might can tell you some " stories " about others, you can let him see others aren't all 100% good either, how should THEY have behaved, etc. With my oldest son, when he was younger, I did tend to talk to him as more of an adult. But then I was going thru a bad marriage and later divorce and problems, etc. The twins got more " babied " I guess. My oldest wasn't perfect, by far, I recall making myself NOT ask him first each day when I picked him up at daycare " did you get in time- out?? " , I tried to make it the 3rd or 4th thing I asked, LOL! And in kindergarten, I just wanted him to at least SOMEtimes get that smiley face sticker at the end of the school day! He was just a social, talkative kid mostly I guess. How would he have done if the daycare had said " only 10 more minutes on the tractor Kody, then... " and then again " only 5 more minutes... " to warn him ahead of time he'd have to stop?? SIGH! Wish I had some solutions for you! Hang in there and let us know how things go! > It seems like the only time I post is when I have something to vent > about. We have been having issues for the past couple of months with > daycare on my OCD son, I have posted about it before, how they > weren't doing what they needed to do during his fits/rages, however > you wish to classify them. Well today it all came to a head. I had to > work late, so my mom picked up the boys, calls me, and tells me that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Dear Kelley, you wrote the perfect analogy in your reply. P.S. I used to tell my husband that expecting to act a certain way when she was first struggling with her OCD was like expecting a person with no legs to walk. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Dear Kelley, you wrote the perfect analogy in your reply. P.S. I used to tell my husband that expecting to act a certain way when she was first struggling with her OCD was like expecting a person with no legs to walk. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Work today was pretty horrific. Well, it was mostly just my manager being horrific. She kept yelling at us all day long to pick up our orders--usually before the customer had paid! Then she yelled at me about counting change too slowly and for being too slow with bagging orders. She knows I have bad vertigo going on. She knows I spent 13 hours in the ER last week because of it. She's seen me staggering around the restaurant, doing my best to get everything right when even standing up is hard. But she doesn't seem to care. She actually said, " What's the point of even having you here, with you doing everything so slow? " I'm sorry, but I'm a) new and barely able to stay upright. And besides that, my meds are making me terribly sleepy and making my vision lousy. I am doing the best I can. During my break, I locked myself in a bathroom stall and cried. I have no one in my life who really understands what this is like.I justneeded to blow off some steam. I hope that's okay. If it's not just tell me and i won't do it again. Sara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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