Alone at Christmas

[Guest guest]

Last year I lost my only two friends in the city where I now live. They died w/in two weeks of each other. Both were in their early 50's, supposedly in good health. I was devastated because the three of us were about to buy a house together. I had no other family. I am housebound because of illness, and I am rarely able to leave my home. I joined an online bereavement group to help myself get over the pain of losing them. There I met a man and his wife. Over time, the three of us became close friends. We began to consider each other family, and he became like a younger brother. I was so thankful for having met them. Because I am ill, he checked on me during the day to make sure I was safe, and each evening he phoned me. Sometimes we talked for several hours. Often his wife joined on an extension.

Then what I thought was a miracle occurred - he took a new job, moved to my state, and I planned to move to the city where they relocated. We were also going to spend Christmas together this year. About a month ago, on the night before Thanksgiving, he died of a heart attack. There is now a massive hole in my life and in my heart. My health is much worse. Now I have no human contact. What I miss most is the physical presence of another person, a touch, perhaps a hug. I phoned the minister at the church where I am a member, and he was going to come weekly to bring me communion. He missed both appts. with me and did not call either time to let me know he was not coming. It was very disappointing. I had a minister who was coming to visit me

weekly, but she resigned from that ministry. When I asked for a replacement, she took it upon herself to call the minister who heads the minister and ask the church NOT to send me another minister because of my friend's death. She felt what I needed was grief counseling. I was deeply hurt by her actions. There is no way I would confuse the mission of a minister with that of a grief counselor. I fall through the cracks financially. I have too much income to qualify for benefits of any kind, but too little to be able to afford the help I really need. Is anybody else going to be alone, really alone, at Christmas? What do you plan to do? Jo

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