Re: Tears and many of them (off topic)

[Guest guest]

Sorry Eilleen, use a cold glass of water for what?

Vicky

[Guest guest]

Hi Eileen,

So so sorry for you, what we have to go through is just awful. Not having been in this situation I dont really understand all the ins and outs of it but just praying that things work out as you want them.

Lotsa Love and hugs

Caroline

xxx

[Guest guest]

God! Eileen, are there still people who are so stupid alive on this planet?? <sigh> I tell you if anyone had said such a horrible thing to me, I would have cried too. I've been in the same situation where I could not question idiotic comments due to my position of need from the person commenting, it truly and deeply sucks eggs that we have to defer to these morons because we need their help.

My heart breaks for those kids who are treated like animals. Why not provide an escort as is appropriate rather than throwing cold water on a child as an aversion? That is awful. And to think she gloats in her cleverness - *I know! If a child misbehaves - abuse them!!* How bloody clever of her, bet no one ever thought of that one, eh?

spit spit spit...makes me spitting mad, it does. I can't tell you the asinine things that professionals have told me to do to my son over his eating disorder. The most consistent one being STARVE HIM! Don't worry, he can go for up to seven days without food!! Won't that be fun? And won't he gain a lot from the experience and learn how much fun being around people is and how much he should want to communicate with them....??? ARGH!!!!

Keep fighting for your son, Eileen, it's so hard but keep the faith. Don't let those idiots get you down, there are people out there who truly care about the kids and want the best for them.

Take care,

Darla

In a message dated 07/09/2006 08:31:35 GMT Standard Time, eileen_mclennan@... writes:

I went through the motions of talking to the head and we touched on behaviour policy. She told me about a parent (a paediatrician) who had a 6 yo (a paediatrician) whose child was experiencing far too many meltdowns and so had authorised them to use a glass of cold water just once if she did it at school because that is what they did at home and it worked.I decided right there and then my kid was never going to set foot in there. I felt the tears well up and I went indoors at the end of the conversation and I cried my eyes out. If I hadn't had to be so careful and play the statementing game I would have given her the dressing down of a lifetime. I felt it was such an inappropriate thing to say to a prospective parent. It wasn't so much the measure but the Head. What a terrible attitude. She was practically gloating! For serious self-injury maybe this might be necessary (but even that is still questionable).

[Guest guest]

Oh right, sorry they are throwing the water over the child, I didn't realise.

Another problem is if you have a non verbal child and weren't aware of this kind of abuse.

I noticed over the holiday that when had made me really mad and he could see I was cross, he would hold his hand out, in the way those old enough to remember getting the strap at school would recognize.

It may be nothing but I do wonder why he would do that, what I wouldn't give for some communication.

Vicky

[Guest guest]

Hi Eileen,

What a system they have in place. I must admit I have been really down after watching a program on the news about the special needs kids in Romania with their hands tied behind their backs 24/7 as they don't have enough staff to look after them. I wouldn't have thought that throwing a glass of cold water at a child in this country would be legal. Surely they can find better ways to manage problem behaviours without assaulting the kids. Which is what this is.

When we went to tribunal many years ago we were told that the Lea considered ABA to be a form of abuse ! They brought up a school that had been closed because the staff used old behavioural techniques and abused the kids. When we read the full report we discovered that the school was actually understaffed and most of the people who worked there were suffering from stress and got no support or training from the education authority. That is what caused the abuse of several children.

People like this headteacher should not be in such a postion.

Good Luck in finding the right place for your little one.

Jane

x

Tears and many of them (off topic)

Hi chapsMy LEA named our school today for Jay (not what we want, want the home program). We ought to be grateful because they recommended an independent school but its an hour and a quarter each way in a taxi with 3 other autistic kids with no escort. I went through the motions of talking to the head and we touched on behaviour policy. She told me about a parent (a paediatrician) who had a 6 yo (a paediatrician) whose child was experiencing far too many meltdowns and so had authorised them to use a glass of cold water just once if she did it at school because that is what they did at home and it worked.I decided right there and then my kid was never going to set foot in there. I felt the tears well up and I went indoors at the end of the conversation and I cried my eyes out. If I hadn't had to be so careful and play the statementing game I would have given her the dressing down of a lifetime. I felt it was such an inappropriate thing to say to a prospective parent. It wasn't so much the measure but the Head. What a terrible attitude. She was practically gloating! For serious self-injury maybe this might be necessary (but even that is still questionable). Hi Ho Hi Ho, its off to tribunal we goEileen

[Guest guest]

Eileen, I hope when you go to tribunal you will tell the panel about this

disgusting glass of water incident. Take some notes now of your conversation

and date them and even consider submitting these notes as part of your

evidence. The tribunal may consider that your relationship with the school

has broken down already because the essential trust you need does not exist.

We won our tribunal and the panel noted in the decision the importance of us

having a good relationship with our LEA and the school which we didn't have.

When I went to tribunal twice recently I did not hold back in telling the

panel everything I knew that was wrong about the school the LEA wanted to

send my son. The LEA's witness sat red faced as I told the panel about her

unit excluding an autistic child etc etc. The panel gasped and couldn't

believe an autistic child in a small unit had actually been excluded.The

witness tried to deny it and the exchange between her and I at the tribunal

was very heated. At the second tribunal (a continuation of the first) this

same LEA witness didn't turn up (wonder why). This was a shame as I had

gathered yet more dirt which I was quite prepared to throw in her direction.

Fight hard and fight dirty if you have to.

Gillian.

On 7/9/06 08:25, " eileen_mclennan " <eileen_mclennan@...> wrote:

> Hi chaps

>

> My LEA named our school today for Jay (not what we want, want the

> home program). We ought to be grateful because they recommended an

> independent school but its an hour and a quarter each way in a taxi

> with 3 other autistic kids with no escort. I went through the motions

> of talking to the head and we touched on behaviour policy. She told

> me about a parent (a paediatrician) who had a 6 yo (a paediatrician)

> whose child was experiencing far too many meltdowns and so had

> authorised them to use a glass of cold water just once if she did it

> at school because that is what they did at home and it worked.

>

> I decided right there and then my kid was never going to set foot in

> there. I felt the tears well up and I went indoors at the end of the

> conversation and I cried my eyes out. If I hadn't had to be so

> careful and play the statementing game I would have given her the

> dressing down of a lifetime. I felt it was such an inappropriate

> thing to say to a prospective parent. It wasn't so much the measure

> but the Head. What a terrible attitude. She was practically

> gloating! For serious self-injury maybe this might be necessary (but

> even that is still questionable).

>

> Hi Ho Hi Ho, its off to tribunal we go

> Eileen

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> DISCLAIMER

> No information contained in this post is to be construed as medical advice. If

> you need medical advice, please seek it from a suitably qualified

> practitioner.

>

>

[Guest guest]

ACK! This breaks my heart! How could they?

Re: Tears and many of them (off topic)

Oh right, sorry they are throwing the water over the child, I didn't realise.

Another problem is if you have a non verbal child and weren't aware of this kind of abuse.

I noticed over the holiday that when had made me really mad and he could see I was cross, he would hold his hand out, in the way those old enough to remember getting the strap at school would recognize.

It may be nothing but I do wonder why he would do that, what I wouldn't give for some communication.

Vicky

[Guest guest]

Vicky,

That's a Mum's instinct talking - its not nothing. If these kinds of

things were happening to an ordinary child they would not dare. I

hope its just something he's seen and that you get language soon.

Lots of love to you today,

Eileen

>

> ACK! This breaks my heart! How could they?

>

>

>

> Re: Tears and many of them

(off topic)

>

>

>

> Oh right, sorry they are throwing the water over the child, I

didn't realise.

> Another problem is if you have a non verbal child and weren't

aware of this kind of abuse.

> I noticed over the holiday that when had made me really mad

and he could see I was cross, he would hold his hand out, in the way

those old enough to remember getting the strap at school would

recognize.

> It may be nothing but I do wonder why he would do that, what I

wouldn't give for some communication.

> Vicky

>