Re: WILLOW__SSDI INFO

[Guest guest]

((( BIG HUGS WILLOW )))

You have come a long way sweetie!!! Look for the good now!

((( Caring Hugs )))

Helen

PS-- If ya do repeat yourself, your NOT alone! We all do it... As for your Friends statistics, what goes around comes around, they will be there someday too... My friend finally told me years ago she was Tired of hearing about my ailments as all I did was repeat myself, so I never said a word about myself again... Now she has some of the same ailments and All she does is talk about them and how they are more severe than mine... What do I do??? I listen with a smile and help when I 'm able too...

Yes, I've been on disability since mid 2000. Mydisability went back to 3/97. That allowed me to leavemy abusive husband, buy a car, buy a single-widetrailer waaay out in the country and get serious abouthealing. Things move slowly, but I am definatelybetter now than I was living with a negative man whodidn't want to be married to a disabled woman. I left 2/3 of my back Soc.Sec. pay with my husband topay off bills that we had accrued while I couldn'twork and he was hell-bent on getting the last 1/3(what I took to start a new life with). He fought ourdivorce for 4.5 years trying to make me give him thatmoney. Where he had always bragged about his salary(he clears about $4000 a month), he now says I alwayssupplied the majority of the income for our home (hehas 2 grown children we put through school and alimonyfor his first wife)and he wanted spousal support frommy disability check. He finally gave up last May andour divorce was final. His dragging it out cost meabout $20,000 in legal fees. About all I took from myformer home was things I brought to the marriage. Heeven kept some things that he had bought me as gifts.This may be difficult to understand, but ever since Iwas declared disabled and my son got a check as wellfor 1/2 of my benefit, my -ex has been jealous and hastried as hard as he could to prove that he is disabledtoo. The idea of getting money without working lookedtoo good to him. He started charging my then-16 yearold son for room and board, half of their restaurantbills - anything he could rationalize that justifiedhim getting money. We had agreed that 's moneywas to be college money, but it became too easy tobalance the family budget by charging my son forsomething.The saddest part of the whole break-up of my family isthat my kind, sensitive son has heard his dad talkabout how he was going to have a heart attack orAlzheimer's and be dead or disabled soon. (now21) lives in the negative turmoil that made me leaveso that his dad won't die alone. He says no onedeserves that. I asked him if he was going to give hisdad the next 20 years of his life. I talked to himabout the health problems and life spans in ourfamily. Joe is likely to live in to his 80's. I justkeep praying that God will guide my son into a life ofhis own. I don't badger him about it, just point outdifferent ways he could do things, hoping he'll findhis own path. (my son) is plagued with numerousheath problems himself. He was hit in the head when hewas in first grade. He had petit mal seizures thattook 3 years to control. In his senior year of highschool, that progressed to grand mal soldiers. He hassome learning disabilities, ADHD, depression andinsomnia. He's never been able to drive because he'snot seizure free for long enough. I already hear hisdad's words coming from his mouth - "I have a f***edup immune system. I get sick every time something'sgoing around. I can't learn the way they teach myclasses. I can't remember my meds. "Sorry for going on so. Have any of you had family thatreacted like this when you were declared disabled. My-ex used to come into my bedroom and stand over mescreaming that I had to be able to cook dinner or take to the doctors or whatever. He finally got towhere he came to my room once a day to bring me onemeal. If I needed something that didn't come with thatmeal I had to wait till the next day. There was nofood or liquid or even checking to make sure I wasstill alive when he got ready for work. I had to dowithout or bounce up and down the stairs on my buttbecause I was not steady enough to walk. Thank Godthat life is behind me now.; )WillowP.S. Sometimes with my ministrokes I tell somethingthat I've already told because I can't remember what Ihave and haven't told. If I repeat a story pleaseforgive me. One 'friend' and his wife kept track ofhow many minutes I talked to them on the phone and howmany times I told the same story again. Can youimagine how my heart felt when they laughinglypresented me with my 'statistics.'

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