My neighbor noticed!!!!

[Guest guest]

You never know who's watching you. I usually hit the gym early am,

when it's still dark. Long story short, my neighbor just stopped by,

and asked if I'd like a workout partner. Obviously she has noticed me

returning home between 6-7 am every morning with sweaty clothes ect,

and put two and two together. I didn't think it showed to others that

I was losing weight, since my family and friends haven't mentioned

anything, but my neighbor said she can tell. I'm not sure if I should

be flattered, or irritated because she's so nosey. lol

She wants to visit the gym with me on Saturday. I actually like to

workout alone, but I told her I'll walk her through the bfl routine I

follow, and we could still travel to the gym together.

[Guest guest]

Advice needed!! Last week, I posted about my neighbor who asked if

she could attend the gym with me. I explained that I would walk her

through the BFL routine, gave her one of the two bfl books I owned,

but nicely explained, that being a newbie, I prefer to workout alone

because it helps me to concentrate, and I like to listen to my ipod

for motivation.

She agreed that would be fine, and she wouldn't interrupt me.

Long story short, it has only been a couple of days, and already

she's standing over me talking about non related things, and asking

questions about bfl NUTRITION while in the gym. If it's not cardio

or weight training related, why not ask me before or after the gym?

Better yet, read the book for basic answers. She asked me how often

she should eat meals. Come on now.

It's obvious she has not read the book.

I'm going to give this until Wednsday, if it continues, I'm going to

ask her to read the book again(assuming she's read it once), and

nicely explain that if she can't avoid interrupting me during

workouts, this may not be a good arrangement. I even explained that

I would come into the gym early or stay a later to answer training

questions, but just not during my actual workouts.

My first mind told me to just give her the book, let her know I'm

available for questions, offered to meet her at the gym during a

time when I " don't " workout to explain everything, but state flat

out that I prefer to train alone.

How would some of you handle this situation?

[Guest guest]

My MIL did the same thing to me. I actually stopped working out because of it. I

am finally

learning NOT to do things that are self-sacrificing. I have always been a people

pleaser.

It's gotten my no where. I would be stern with her. Say listen the gym is the

only time of

the day I take for myself. I don't want to be rude but I need to do this on my

own. I

appreciate you understanding.

Most people think of the gym as social time. They bring a book, barely break a

sweat and

like to talk to people. that is not the case for me at all. I need that time

ALONE. I felt so

guilty about my MIL and changed gyms because she thought I was going to be her

trainer.

Plus I felt like I had to help her... Total self sacrifice.

> Advice needed!! Last week, I posted about my neighbor who asked if

> she could attend the gym with me. I explained that I would walk her

> through the BFL routine, gave her one of the two bfl books I owned,

> but nicely explained, that being a newbie, I prefer to workout alone

> because it helps me to concentrate, and I like to listen to my ipod

> for motivation.

>

> She agreed that would be fine, and she wouldn't interrupt me.

>

> Long story short, it has only been a couple of days, and already

> she's standing over me talking about non related things, and asking

> questions about bfl NUTRITION while in the gym. If it's not cardio

> or weight training related, why not ask me before or after the gym?

> Better yet, read the book for basic answers. She asked me how often

> she should eat meals. Come on now.

>

> It's obvious she has not read the book.

>

> I'm going to give this until Wednsday, if it continues, I'm going to

> ask her to read the book again(assuming she's read it once), and

> nicely explain that if she can't avoid interrupting me during

> workouts, this may not be a good arrangement. I even explained that

> I would come into the gym early or stay a later to answer training

> questions, but just not during my actual workouts.

>

> My first mind told me to just give her the book, let her know I'm

> available for questions, offered to meet her at the gym during a

> time when I " don't " workout to explain everything, but state flat

> out that I prefer to train alone.

>

> How would some of you handle this situation?

[Guest guest]

Gosh, you sound like such a nice person. (maybe too nice). I'm not you so and I

only want people in my life who are encouragers. People either build you up or

tear you

down. I want to be the best that I can be and I want the same things for others.

So my life is to short to waste on those that have no goals, and just want to

play games.

If you aren't careful this person will discourage you and you might end up

quitting. Just let her know this arrangement isn't working out for you. Sure she

might get upset,

she might not even talk to you anymore. ( but what would you really be losing?)

You might have to meet new people who have goals that they really want to

achieve.

You might feel darn good when you reach your own goals.

do what's right for you ( reach your goals, I know you can)

Maxx

----- Original

> Advice needed!! Last week, I posted about my neighbor who asked if

> she could attend the gym with me. I explained that I would walk her

> through the BFL routine, gave her one of the two bfl books I owned,

> but nicely explained, that being a newbie, I prefer to workout alone

> because it helps me to concentrate, and I like to listen to my ipod

> for motivation.

>

> She agreed that would be fine, and she wouldn't interrupt me.

>

> Long story short, it has only been a couple of days, and already

> she's standing over me talking about non related things, and asking

> questions about bfl NUTRITION while in the gym. If it's not cardio

> or weight training related, why not ask me before or after the gym?

> Better yet, read the book for basic answers. She asked me how often

> she should eat meals. Come on now.

>

> It's obvious she has not read the book.

>

> I'm going to give this until Wednsday, if it continues, I'm going to

> ask her to read the book again(assuming she's read it once), and

> nicely explain that if she can't avoid interrupting me during

> workouts, this may not be a good arrangement. I even explained that

> I would come into the gym early or stay a later to answer training

> questions, but just not during my actual workouts.

>

> My first mind told me to just give her the book, let her know I'm

> available for questions, offered to meet her at the gym during a

> time when I " don't " workout to explain everything, but state flat

> out that I prefer to train alone.

>

> How would some of you handle this situation?

[Guest guest]

Thanks Maxx, as always you've expressed just what I needed to

read. You're 100% correct, if someone is interfering with my

growth, I need to set some firm boundaries.

I'm a nurturer by nature, so I tend to attract people who can be

emotionally draining, I think some people refer to them as toxic

individuals. I've gotten much better, but I have a long way to go.

I'm also discovering, that not only may I be a magnet for these

energy stealers, but I may be picking them without even realizing

it. I could have easily told her the truth: that I prefer to work

out alone, but I was worried about hurting her feelings. Had I

honored myself, I would have just offered to help her when it was

more convenient for me. That way we both would have been happy.

Truth be told, had she been a really pushy or aggresive person, I

would have said NO without thinking twice, but as always, I gave in

because I felt someone " needed " my help, which is not always

reason " enough " , if it means I can't honor myself in the process.

Well, normally I probably would have avoided her, if I didn't want

to continue our workouts, but at least now I'm planning to just lay

things on the table, in a firm but tactful manner.

I'm excited about the new people I'll meet as I continue changing.

It is not necessary to dishonor my needs, to help others, and I'm

quickly learning that there is usually always a compromise.

> > Advice needed!! Last week, I posted about my neighbor who

asked if

> > she could attend the gym with me. I explained that I would

walk her

> > through the BFL routine, gave her one of the two bfl books I

owned,

> > but nicely explained, that being a newbie, I prefer to workout

alone

> > because it helps me to concentrate, and I like to listen to my

ipod

> > for motivation.

> >

> > She agreed that would be fine, and she wouldn't interrupt me.

> >

> > Long story short, it has only been a couple of days, and

already

> > she's standing over me talking about non related things, and

asking

> > questions about bfl NUTRITION while in the gym. If it's not

cardio

> > or weight training related, why not ask me before or after the

gym?

> > Better yet, read the book for basic answers. She asked me how

often

> > she should eat meals. Come on now.

> >

> > It's obvious she has not read the book.

> >

> > I'm going to give this until Wednsday, if it continues, I'm

going to

> > ask her to read the book again(assuming she's read it once),

and

> > nicely explain that if she can't avoid interrupting me during

> > workouts, this may not be a good arrangement. I even explained

that

> > I would come into the gym early or stay a later to answer

training

> > questions, but just not during my actual workouts.

> >

> > My first mind told me to just give her the book, let her know

I'm

> > available for questions, offered to meet her at the gym during

a

> > time when I " don't " workout to explain everything, but state

flat

> > out that I prefer to train alone.

> >

> > How would some of you handle this situation?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yep, once upon a time, not too long ago, that's what I would have

done also. I would have changed gyms, or the time I attend the gym

to avoid her. Those days are over. Being a people pleaser takes

too much out of you, because it's impossible to please everyone.

> > Advice needed!! Last week, I posted about my neighbor who asked

if

> > she could attend the gym with me. I explained that I would walk

her

> > through the BFL routine, gave her one of the two bfl books I

owned,

> > but nicely explained, that being a newbie, I prefer to workout

alone

> > because it helps me to concentrate, and I like to listen to my

ipod

> > for motivation.

> >

> > She agreed that would be fine, and she wouldn't interrupt me.

> >

> > Long story short, it has only been a couple of days, and already

> > she's standing over me talking about non related things, and

asking

> > questions about bfl NUTRITION while in the gym. If it's not

cardio

> > or weight training related, why not ask me before or after the

gym?

> > Better yet, read the book for basic answers. She asked me how

often

> > she should eat meals. Come on now.

> >

> > It's obvious she has not read the book.

> >

> > I'm going to give this until Wednsday, if it continues, I'm

going to

> > ask her to read the book again(assuming she's read it once), and

> > nicely explain that if she can't avoid interrupting me during

> > workouts, this may not be a good arrangement. I even explained

that

> > I would come into the gym early or stay a later to answer

training

> > questions, but just not during my actual workouts.

> >

> > My first mind told me to just give her the book, let her know

I'm

> > available for questions, offered to meet her at the gym during a

> > time when I " don't " workout to explain everything, but state

flat

> > out that I prefer to train alone.

> >

> > How would some of you handle this situation?