I Am At My Wits End With My Son

[Guest guest]

Dear All,

My son hit me again today. I made some popcorn--both of my kids wanted some--my son pushed my daughter and I told him to go to his room. He refused. I attempted to make him go--and he resists by trying to hit and sometimes even kick me. This is not the first time he has done it--but it is the worst. I finally managed to get him in his room--and he threw a bunch of stuff at the door of his room. I tried to get him to his bed--but that's when I got the worst of it. He ran to the living room. I ended up yelling at him to get out of my house. He cried for like a minute--and then just sat on the porch for a while. After about 5 minutes I went to find out if he was willing to go to his room now. It was about another 10 minutes before he would.

Meanwhile my husband never got off the couch. Since I didn't ask him for help--he thought I didn't need any. (not a mistake I will make again) So he's not doing anything about the fact that our son hit me. I am so depressed at the moment it's not funny.

My son is 6 years old--and one strong kid. I am just too weak to win in any physical confrontation anymore. I am tired of chasing him and feeling like an idiot. I am tired of losing to someone 34 years younger than I am. I feel completely powerless.--

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[Guest guest]

It is a dreadful situation about your young son, he is only 6 I know but he is need of both parents, your husband must take more of a positiveSee what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

, it seems the young man feels that you do not, love him as much as his sister and tantrums get your attention Try not to hit him, or yell at him ,this is not helping in the least, try to ignore his tantrums,I would deprive him of any treats if he hits his sister, and be sure to let him know why this is,but I would pay more attention to him, so that he knows you love him dearly and his

father should not take the low road either. It takes Mom and Dad to raise and consistency of treatment, Does he go to school yet, the school psychologist could find just what is the matter, it may be that you cannot find the problem ,kids are complex little people, I had one about the same and when he went to school never talked to any other kid and I thought he was doomed! turns out the psychologist found out that he just had not found anything worth saying after a while he did talk, that kid is now at the age of 43 a treasurer at a big truck mfr, he has a MBA degree from Northeastern in Boston.

He was tops in his tennis team at school and first went to Albany State college and graduated Cum Laude, pretty good for a kid who was a supreme problem!

Don't give up now Mom!

anne

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[Guest guest]

,

Does he have any sort of issues? My son was like that when he was very young. Come to find out he has Aspergers, (very mild case) but he also has Bipolar. He is now 14 and wouldnt dare think to hit me. He has learned alot but it has been a very long road. Kris first started that way when he was 2. It Started with him not wanting to sleep, and not being affraid of anything... I knew I was in for alot then..

I hope you can get this issue taken care of hon, its not easy, and its even more difficult when u are not well , to have to deal with it..

Kerry

On Tue, 2007-07-03 at 19:41 -0400, Cricket071@... wrote:

Dear All,

My son hit me again today. I made some popcorn--both of my kids wanted some--my son pushed my daughter and I told him to go to his room. He refused. I attempted to make him go--and he resists by trying to hit and sometimes even kick me. This is not the first time he has done it--but it is the worst. I finally managed to get him in his room--and he threw a bunch of stuff at the door of his room. I tried to get him to his bed--but that's when I got the worst of it. He ran to the living room. I ended up yelling at him to get out of my house. He cried for like a minute--and then just sat on the porch for a while. After about 5 minutes I went to find out if he was willing to go to his room now. It was about another 10 minutes before he would.

Meanwhile my husband never got off the couch. Since I didn't ask him for help--he thought I didn't need any. (not a mistake I will make again) So he's not doing anything about the fact that our son hit me. I am so depressed at the moment it's not funny.

My son is 6 years old--and one strong kid. I am just too weak to win in any physical confrontation anymore. I am tired of chasing him and feeling like an idiot. I am tired of losing to someone 34 years younger than I am. I feel completely powerless.--

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my son has multiple health issues. his main one being cystic fibrosis. he just turned eight in may. for the past two years his behavior has been horrid. i attributed it to him trying to deal with the changes happening in his life. but over time it got worse. i have two other children also, one is ten and one is two. he would hurt them by hitting kicking and biting. we would be driving in the car and he would act out and throw things up into the front seat. it was horrible. he broke things like my kitchen drawers and the molding around his door frame from slamming it so hard. i could go on and on about the things we have been thru and if you want to hear more feel free to contact me by email. finally we started seeing a psychiatrist. i was in tears almost everyday because of his behavior at home. not to mention the things we were going thru with the school. anyway the psychiatrist diagnosed him with adhd and

depression. i know a lot of people frown on putting kids on behavior meds but it wasn't our first step. we did try all kinds of behavior modification and different forms of discipline and counseling over two years and nothing helped things just got worse. he started the depression med first and i could tell a slight difference after about two to three weeks. then he started the behavior med and i could tell a difference that day. he is on a very low dose for both of his meds but it has made a world of difference in our lives. he is my little boy again. it by all means doesn't make things go away it just gave him the capability to think about things and make better decisions. if you ever want to talk feel free to contact me anytime. evelyn Dear All,My son hit me again today. I made some popcorn--both of my kids wanted some--my son pushed my daughter and I told him to go to his room. He refused. I attempted to make him go--and he resists by trying to hit and sometimes even kick me. This is not the first time he has done it--but it is the worst. I finally managed to get him in his room--and he threw a bunch of stuff at the door of his room. I tried to get him to his bed--but that's when I got the worst of it. He ran to the living room. I ended up yelling at him to get out of my house. He cried for like a minute--and then just sat on the porch for

a while. After about 5 minutes I went to find out if he was willing to go to his room now. It was about another 10 minutes before he would. Meanwhile my husband never got off the couch. Since I didn't ask him for help--he thought I didn't need any. (not a mistake I will make again) So he's not doing anything about the fact that our son hit me. I am so depressed at the moment it's not funny.My son is 6 years old--and one strong kid. I am just too weak to win in any physical confrontation anymore. I am tired of chasing him and feeling like an idiot. I am tired of losing to someone 34 years younger than I am. I feel completely powerless.-- AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at AOL.com. cure cystic fibrosis

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[Guest guest]

I would tell him that if he hits you again, you will send his butt to juvi. When he gets home, all his crap except for his clothes and bed will be gone. The fact that your husband refuses to do anything is beyond the pale. Perhaps what the child needs is some pre doctor Spock discipline. If you fail to teach him abuse of women is WRONG, he will only get worse . I would never hit my wife, but my boys have been told repeatedly If I or any guy hits their sister, or their mother, to take them down, with xtreme prejudice. They got written up for beating the hell out of a boy at school that punched their sister. The boy commenced to hit my smallest son when he came to his sisters rescue.

It was my oldest son that busted him very badly for hurting his sister.

When confronted by the school councilor about this, I told them my kids will protect themselves and their sister at all costs. He said how wrong it was. They shouldn't fight back at all, be peaceful. I laughed in his face and asked him what he would do if I should beat him into the ground. Of course, he said he would hit me back.. What a dweeb. Good luck with your son. No one deserves to be abused b their kids.

Jimb

-- I Am At My Wits End With My Son

Dear All,My son hit me again today. I made some popcorn--both of my kids wanted some--my son pushed my daughter and I told him to go to his room. He refused. I attempted to make him go--and he resists by trying to hit and sometimes even kick me. This is not the first time he has done it--but it is the worst. I finally managed to get him in his room--and he threw a bunch of stuff at the door of his room. I tried to get him to his bed--but that's when I got the worst of it. He ran to the living room. I ended up yelling at him to get out of my house. He cried for like a minute--and then just sat on the porch for a while. After about 5 minutes I went to find out if he was willing to go to his room now. It was about another 10 minutes before he would. Meanwhile my husband never got off the couch. Since I didn't ask him for help--he thought I didn't need any. (not a mistake I will make again) So he's not doing anything about the fact that our son hit me. I am so depressed at the moment it's not funny.My son is 6 years old--and one strong kid. I am just too weak to win in any physical confrontation anymore. I am tired of chasing him and feeling like an idiot. I am tired of losing to someone 34 years younger than I am. I feel completely powerless.--

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[Guest guest]

This is not good for either one of you to have this disobedient child hitting you. It sounds like you need the Super nanny to come and take care of him. You might contact a professional about his behavior and have that person discuss it with him in sessions. If you're like me you won't have the finances. I would suggest you try to stop arguing with him and discuss it as parent/child level. Tell him it's not permissible to hit anyone, otherwise he'll end up in trouble with the law. Assign all your children chores to complete and reward them for completion. This is what I used to do with my son when he was young, however, he's now a married man at 31 years of age. He still attempts to sponge off of me, but there's no money which I make myself. He's getting better, but.

My former psychologist always said the first person who yells loses the battle before it starts. Please let us know what happens as it's very disturbing to hear this happening.Hugs Love & Prayers

ette

[Guest guest]

The neighbor of one of my friends is having a similar problem. The child is now older and continues the hitting, without remorse. She finally gave him over temporarily to a state agency that placed in a a foster home that specializes in these children, and he will be there I think for at least 45 days, or maybe it was 90. That child, besides hitting, was a BAD role model to a younger brother who enjoys acting similarly.

A psychotherapist recommended the book "The Practical Parent" by Corsini & Painter as one that is good in teaching how to handle difficult children and will be giving it to the mother.

It must be SO hard when a child acts this way!!! And nowadays, with the TV programs and the video games that reward for such behaviour, maybe more children are attracted to these ways. Plus of course society's current way of withholding 'consequences' especially if 'painful'. And the 'I"ve got a right' syndrome. sigh.

I wish you courage and strength, along with wisdom!!

Jean

I Am At My Wits End With My Son

Dear All,My son hit me again today. I made some popcorn--both of my kids wanted some--my son pushed my daughter and I told him to go to his room. He refused. I attempted to make him go--and he resists by trying to hit and sometimes even kick me. This is not the first time he has done it--but it is the worst. I finally managed to get him in his room--and he threw a bunch of stuff at the door of his room. I tried to get him to his bed--but that's when I got the worst of it. He ran to the living room. I ended up yelling at him to get out of my house. He cried for like a minute--and then just sat on the porch for a while. After about 5 minutes I went to find out if he was willing to go to his room now. It was about another 10 minutes before he would. Meanwhile my husband never got off the couch. Since I didn't ask him for help--he thought I didn't need any. (not a mistake I will make again) So he's not doing anything about the fact that our son hit me. I am so depressed at the moment it's not funny.My son is 6 years old--and one strong kid. I am just too weak to win in any physical confrontation anymore. I am tired of chasing him and feeling like an idiot. I am tired of losing to someone 34 years younger than I am. I feel completely powerless.--

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[Guest guest]

. I sympathize with you I had trouble with all my kids. One even threw knives at me. Speaking from experience you need to get him into some sort of counseling. He is not too young. And your hubby has to get his butt off the couch and help. You need to create a united front. I don't recommend involving social services as they will only compound the problem. We have a friend who temporarily turned over custody to Social services and they sent him to the Boys Ranch now they want her to pay $4100.00 for his care. While they have custody they will want support from you. If you or a friend has a police officer as a friend sometimes that helps. They can talk to them in a way that they understand. Hang in there, it is a rough road but well worth it in the end. The one who threw the knives at me is now a manager of a conveniece store and doing very well for herself. Just be there and love the child that is what he needs. Jan from Fargo

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[Guest guest]

,

I noticed you got a lot of advice on this. Not sure any of it was good, but I do know that there wasn't enough information to help you in any great detail and the only advice that should have been given was to suggest you and your family get family counseling even if your the only one going.

Good luck with resolving your problems.

C.

I Am At My Wits End With My Son

Dear All,My son hit me again today. I made some popcorn--both of my kids wanted some--my son pushed my daughter and I told him to go to his room. He refused. I attempted to make him go--and he resists by trying to hit and sometimes even kick me. This is not the first time he has done it--but it is the worst. I finally managed to get him in his room--and he threw a bunch of stuff at the door of his room. I tried to get him to his bed--but that's when I got the worst of it. He ran to the living room. I ended up yelling at him to get out of my house. He cried for like a minute--and then just sat on the porch for a while. After about 5 minutes I went to find out if he was willing to go to his room now. It was about another 10 minutes before he would. Meanwhile my husband never got off the couch. Since I didn't ask him for help--he thought I didn't need any. (not a mistake

I will make again) So he's not doing anything about the fact that our son hit me. I am so depressed at the moment it's not funny.My son is 6 years old--and one strong kid. I am just too weak to win in any physical confrontation anymore. I am tired of chasing him and feeling like an idiot. I am tired of losing to someone 34 years younger than I am. I feel completely powerless.--

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[Guest guest]

I think any advice she was given was from some of us who had been there and gave her other ideas of what could help, or be helpful. Therapy is great when it works, and if there are other issues going on with the child himself, then that needs to be examined also.

Have you read 1,2,3 magic, ? When I went to therapy about my son, they told me to read that. It did not work here but my sons issues were completely difefrent than most. My sister swears by the book. She has 6 kids so far..L

Hope something positive comes around soon for you...

Just know that there are people here who have been thru that also, and if you need to talk feel free to email me off list..

Kerry

On Wed, 2007-07-04 at 08:40 -0700, Cody wrote:

,

I noticed you got a lot of advice on this. Not sure any of it was good, but I do know that there wasn't enough information to help you in any great detail and the only advice that should have been given was to suggest you and your family get family counseling even if your the only one going.

Good luck with resolving your problems.

C.

I Am At My Wits End With My Son

Dear All,

My son hit me again today. I made some popcorn--both of my kids wanted some--my son pushed my daughter and I told him to go to his room. He refused. I attempted to make him go--and he resists by trying to hit and sometimes even kick me. This is not the first time he has done it--but it is the worst. I finally managed to get him in his room--and he threw a bunch of stuff at the door of his room. I tried to get him to his bed--but that's when I got the worst of it. He ran to the living room. I ended up yelling at him to get out of my house. He cried for like a minute--and then just sat on the porch for a while. After about 5 minutes I went to find out if he was willing to go to his room now. It was about another 10 minutes before he would.

Meanwhile my husband never got off the couch. Since I didn't ask him for help--he thought I didn't need any. (not a mistake I will make again) So he's not doing anything about the fact that our son hit me. I am so depressed at the moment it's not funny.

My son is 6 years old--and one strong kid. I am just too weak to win in any physical confrontation anymore. I am tired of chasing him and feeling like an idiot. I am tired of losing to someone 34 years younger than I am. I feel completely powerless.--

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[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry this is going on, and that your husband is not helping you. What I would suggest to do first would be to get him to a counselor. Maybe he's angry at you for being sick. I kinda went through this with my girls because they were very young when I got ill and disabledd out quickly. And I would take him to a doctor and find out if there is some medical reason for his outburts.

I bet he's probably either angry at you for being sick, or he's taking advantage of you because you are and has learned he can do these things to you without real consequences for that behavior.

Amy

In a message dated 7/3/2007 10:26:47 P.M. Central Daylight Time, Cricket071@... writes:

Dear All,My son hit me again today. I made some popcorn--both of my kids wanted some--my son pushed my daughter and I told him to go to his room. He refused. I attempted to make him go--and he resists by trying to hit and sometimes even kick me. This is not the first time he has done it--but it is the worst. I finally managed to get him in his room--and he threw a bunch of stuff at the door of his room. I tried to get him to his bed--but that's when I got the worst of it. He ran to the living room. I ended up yelling at him to get out of my house. He cried for like a minute--and then just sat on the porch for a while. After about 5 minutes I went to find out if he was willing to go to his room now. It was about another 10 minutes before he would. Meanwhile my husband never got off the couch. Since I didn't ask him for help--he thought I didn't need any. (not a mistake I will make again) So he's not doing anything about the fact that our son hit me. I am so depressed at the moment it's not funny.My son is 6 years old--and one strong kid. I am just too weak to win in any physical confrontation anymore. I am tired of chasing him and feeling like an idiot. I am tired of losing to someone 34 years younger than I am. I feel completely powerless.--

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[Guest guest]

CRICKET;; I GUESS I HAVE TO HAVE MY MEMORY REFRESHED;; WHAT DOES YOUR SON HAVE WRONG WITH HIM?? TO MAKE HIM DO THESE THINGS???HAS HE EVER BEEN CHECKED FOR MANIAC DEPRESSION?? OR BI-POLAR??? ONE IN THE SAME;; I HAVE A DAUGHTER & GRANDGIRL WITH IT;; THAT IS WHY IM ASKING;; THE SYMPTONS SEEM THE SAME;; MY DAUGHTER & GRAND GIRL ARE ON MEDS SO IT IS UNDER CONTROL;; BUT BEFORE THAT;; IT WAS HELL;;;; TAKE CARE;; I HOPE THAT THINGS GET BETTER FOR YOU HUGS DORTCricket071@... wrote: Dear All,My son hit me again today. I made some popcorn--both of my kids wanted some--my son pushed my daughter and I told him to go to his room. He refused. I attempted to make him go--and he resists by trying to hit and sometimes even kick me. This is not the first time he has done it--but it is the worst. I finally managed to get him in his room--and he threw a bunch of stuff at the door of his room. I tried to get him to his bed--but that's when I got the worst of it. He ran to the living room. I ended up yelling at him to get out of my house. He cried for like a minute--and then just sat on the porch for a while. After about 5 minutes I went to find out if he was willing to go to his room now. It was about another 10 minutes before he would. Meanwhile my husband never got off the couch. Since I didn't ask him for help--he thought I didn't need any. (not a

mistake I will make again) So he's not doing anything about the fact that our son hit me. I am so depressed at the moment it's not funny.My son is 6 years old--and one strong kid. I am just too weak to win in any physical confrontation anymore. I am tired of chasing him and feeling like an idiot. I am tired of losing to someone 34 years younger than I am. I feel completely powerless.-- AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Maybe he's just angry and overwhelmed that he's so young, and his mother is so sick now - and that's his way of lashing out.

I went through a similar thing with my children when I was in my mid-30's and suddenly got stricken, and became disabled within a year. My children were 6 and 8. While we never had any hitting issues, one of them was very angry and had a terrible attitude, and the other one withdrew and cried a lot and begged for help, but she would never say help her how.

We took them to a very good child psychologist in the area - who knew just what to do to help them adjust to have a now-sick mother. It didn't take long at all for them both to adjust.

Amy

In a message dated 7/9/2007 1:40:17 P.M. Central Daylight Time, peterson.dorothy@... writes:

CRICKET;; I GUESS I HAVE TO HAVE MY MEMORY REFRESHED;; WHAT DOES YOUR SON HAVE WRONG WITH HIM?? TO MAKE HIM DO THESE THINGS???HAS HE EVER BEEN CHECKED FOR MANIAC DEPRESSION?? OR BI-POLAR??? ONE IN THE SAME;; I HAVE A DAUGHTER & GRANDGIRL WITH IT;; THAT IS WHY IM ASKING;; THE SYMPTONS SEEM THE SAME;; MY DAUGHTER & GRAND GIRL ARE ON MEDS SO IT IS UNDER CONTROL;; BUT BEFORE THAT;; IT WAS HELL;;;; TAKE CARE;; I HOPE THAT THINGS GET BETTER FOR YOU

HUGS

DORTCricket071aol wrote:

Dear All,My son hit me again today. I made some popcorn--both of my kids wanted some--my son pushed my daughter and I told him to go to his room. He refused. I attempted to make him go--and he resists by trying to hit and sometimes even kick me. This is not the first time he has done it--but it is the worst. I finally managed to get him in his room--and he threw a bunch of stuff at the door of his room. I tried to get him to his bed--but that's when I got the worst of it. He ran to the living room. I ended up yelling at him to get out of my house. He cried for like a minute--and then just sat on the porch for a while. After about 5 minutes I went to find out if he was willing to go to his room now. It was about another 10 minutes before he would. Meanwhile my husband never got off the couch. Since I didn't ask him for help--he thought I didn't need any. (not a mistake I will make again) So he's not doing anything about the fact that our son hit me. I am so depressed at the moment it's not funny.My son is 6 years old--and one strong kid. I am just too weak to win in any physical confrontation anymore. I am tired of chasing him and feeling like an idiot. I am tired of losing to someone 34 years younger than I am. I feel completely powerless.--

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