Re: Kick me

September 1, 2005

I just wish I could snap myself out of this funk, I know that the only

thing that's gonna make difference is for me to move forward. I'm

trying not to whine but I've been in such a funk lately and the

realities of everything seemed to have crashed diwn in my head. I'm a

social worker you would think I `d be able to cope and I can't or I won't.

I'm angry at the whole world but I daily remind people how they can

make there life better. Guess that old saying is true " those who

teach, can not do! " Trust me I work in this field the saying is too

true! Then I face the reality that the system is not set up to

succeed and watch the ever ending cycle of bull-shit enslave the

stupid and make the one's who know better… numb! I know I need to get

angry and take control but hell I feel so frustrated.

I feel so lost… I know what I have to do! I'm tired of analyzing

myself; I really have no one else to share this with. I hope you don't

mind.

Kanala and Moosemama4 thanks for kicking me and sharing. Logically I

know I'm not the first person to face this and be forced to rebuild

but I can't explain it.. your response back meant more then you know.

Ok I'm going to force myself to go for a walk….

K.

September 1, 2005

Oh this so-o-o-o takes me right back to the month or two right

before I started BFL (this second time) with a vengance. I really

hear how frustrated you are with your life, your circumstances, your

motivation, your reality at the moment.

I know we all have to find our own way, but in case it helps you...

What I found helpful was to break it (the starting and doing BFL)

all down into little pieces and then take baby steps toward that

goal: the goal being simply to get started.

First, I went and bought a new pair of running shoes. Check.

Next, I bought some comfortable clothes to exercise in. Check.

Next, I planned my first week's meals. Check

Next, I bought a 3-ring binder and indexes to keep track of my meals

and workouts. Check

Next, I printed out the worksheets for all 84 days of the 12-week

challenge. Check

Next, I planned my first weeks's exercises. Check

And so on. You get the idea.

Each one of these little steps may have taken me a week, but after

each one was completed, I felt great! like I had accomplished

something and was closer to my goal. Each task gave me more energy

(and for me it was emotional energy) to move on to the next. It

gave me hope that I would be able to take my life back and pull

myself together again.

And I did. And I know that you will, too, in your own time and in

your own way.

DeDe

> I just wish I could snap myself out of this funk, I know that the

only

> thing that's gonna make difference is for me to move forward. I'm

> trying not to whine but I've been in such a funk lately and the

> realities of everything seemed to have crashed diwn in my head.

I'm a

> social worker you would think I `d be able to cope and I can't or

I won't.

>

> I'm angry at the whole world but I daily remind people how they

can

> make there life better. Guess that old saying is true " those who

> teach, can not do! " Trust me I work in this field the saying is too

> true! Then I face the reality that the system is not set up to

> succeed and watch the ever ending cycle of bull-shit enslave the

> stupid and make the one's who know better… numb! I know I need to

get

> angry and take control but hell I feel so frustrated.

>

> I feel so lost… I know what I have to do! I'm tired of analyzing

> myself; I really have no one else to share this with. I hope you

don't

> mind.

>

> Kanala and Moosemama4 thanks for kicking me and sharing. Logically

I

> know I'm not the first person to face this and be forced to rebuild

> but I can't explain it.. your response back meant more then you

know.

>

> Ok I'm going to force myself to go for a walk….

>

> K.

September 2, 2005

Hi " K " ,

I felt like this about a month ago. Perhaps ONLY when you are sick and tired of

being " sick and tired " you will pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get in

gear? I say this because that is what it took me to find this program in the

first place.

You sound like you " know well " just as I do, the mentality it takes to be

success full. I get frustrated at myself when I just can't get it together.

But no matter how much I would seek for an outside boost.... do you know where

it ultimately comes from? It comes from you heart.... from your mind that says

" I deserve to do this for me " . What am I really waiting on? Why can't I just

" DO IT " . You know I think that Nike commercial about JUST DO IT really hits the

nail on the head. I find that when I just get back into the gym actually

getting my feet in there makes a light go off in my head that says YES..... this

feels good .... this is where I need to be.

So when you analyze yourself make it a good analization We all have our down

time. The good thing is I know I can come here to this group and read

inspiration and step into other women's lives who are going through the same

thing I am. The greatest thing is the women here have a common goal.... we want

the best our bodies can give us. We know that in turn we have to do our part to

get those results ... " to get the job done "

If anything keep in mind that the natural exercise is one of the best natural

defenses against depression and anxiety. Also something that I keep in mind is

to make sure I keep " something " intact with the program. Whether it be the fact

that I am slacking on one area I make sure I take my supplements, or make sure I

get in all my protein, make sure if I didn't do those two that I at least

stayed away from the bad foods.... if I didn't get in the gym I try to make sure

I walk for the day. So something I try to keep my self esteem in tact by

keeping at the " least " one of these in tact if I am slacking in another area.

One week I will have ALL in place. Then work will drag me down and exhaust me

and I just need sleep. So whatever it is that takes me away I bring myself back

to the program in steps but always try to keep one foot in the program.

Something that helped me recently was when I picked up my husbands pedometer and

saw that when I wasn't exercising that my daily routine had me moving less that

a mile in walking a day. That was huge to me. So by keeping a pedometer on I

tend to make sure I get my walking in. It makes me more accountable regardless

of another area I might be slacking in.

I write this for me as much as for you to just stay inspired.

When you get angry at the whole world don't take the anger out on yourself or

your program. When all is in this world seems like it is falling apart the one

thing you know you can count on is yourself right? Think about it ... out of

everything or everyone in this world aren't YOUR actions what you can count on

above all others? So do it for yourself.... I need to remind myself no one is

going to do it for me.....LOL

Its Friday I hope you have an inspirational weekend!!! I am going to take some

of my own advice here and make it a challenging weekend