Tips on Dealing with Suicide Threats

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*If the threat comes from an abusive person and you feel it is intended to manipulate you, the best course of action to take is to call the police and not get personally involved. Otherwise, here are some tips on how to help someone you are truly worried about if they threaten suicide: The Meaning of A Suicide Threat

A suicide threat could be a person's way of manipulating others into meeting a personal need or desire. It could be a person's way of getting "revenge" for a real or perceived offense. And it could be a "joke" or a way of getting attention. But more often, suicide threats represent the only way of escape from pain that a person is capable of perceiving at the time. It is important to interpret a loved one's suicide threat this way, regardless of how many other things the threat could mean. Recognizing Suicidal Behavior

The clearest and most urgent clue that someone may commit suicide is a statement of intent to do so. Such statements may be direct such as "I'm going to kill myself" or indirect such as "I won't be around much longer." Threats of suicide are followed by actual attempts about 70 percent of the time. Perhaps because such statements are common reactions to stress, we tend to not take them very seriously when we hear someone close to us say them. But statements about suicide should always be taken seriously. This is especially important when someone suggests a method for carrying out suicide, which is an indication that he or she has given the idea serious consideration. Statements of intent are particularly serious when the method discussed is known to be available to the person. Moreover, a person who has chosen a method that is highly lethal (e.g. a gun) is at higher risk of acting on their suicidal thoughts than someone who has chosen a less lethal method (e.g. overdose of medication).

About 75 percent of suicidal people give one or more warnings about their intentions; some warnings are quite direct,but many of them are fairly indirect.

Verbal warnings include statements that indicate a preoccupation with death, articulation of a plan as noted above, or statements like:

"You won't have to put up with me anymore"

"Life has become meaningless for me - there's no point in going on like this"

"I hate my life, I give up"

"Nobody needs me or cares about me anymore"

Behavioral warnings tend to be indirect ways of making some of the above statements:

Casually giving away cherished possessions

Reorganizing their life to "pull loose ends together." Suddenly discontinuing activities previously meaningful to them

Behavioral changes such as sleeping or drinking to excess or engaging in risky behavior (such as unprotected sex with an unknown partner)

Suddenly "recovering" from a deep depression (their suicide plan may give them a sense of relief that makes them appear happy)

Who Commits Suicide?

Although many suicides occur in people who were not depressed , the risk is much greater among depressed people and anyone experiencing feelings of intense loneliness, worthlessness and helplessness. Depression is not always obvious, but generally, depressed people tend to express negative views about themselves, the world and their futures. They may have difficulty sleeping - or quite the opposite - they may sleep excessively. Depressed people may appear to be bored, listless or unresponsive to others; they often attempt to isolate themselves. "Flat affect" is another common sign of depression. It is seen as a lack of animation in facial expression and the person's verbal expression may be somewhat monotone.

Myths About Suicide

Myth: Most suicidal people really want to die.

FACT: Suicidal people feel genuinely "at the end of their rope" about their lives andtheir problems and they tend to seriously believe that death is the only possible solution. However, part of the person wants to live, too. The goal of suicide intervention is to illuminate that side to the person so that it will be stronger than the part that wants to die.

Myth: Asking a person about whether they feel suicidal will "push them over" the edge, causing them to actually do it. FACT: It is safe to ask a person such straight-forward questions as "are you

thinking about suicide?" Myth: Suicidal people are beyond help - if they feel suicidal, they will do it nomatter what you say or do.

FACT: People who have thoughts of killing themselves are capable of passing

through the period of crisis without acting on their thoughts. They can be assisted to the conclusion that self-destruction is not a reasonable solution to their problems and that their feelings will subside.

Myth: People who become suicidal once will likely become suicidal over and over

again.

FACT: Most people who genuinely contemplate suicide, do so only once in their

lives. Moreover, if the person has been stopped from killing themselves during one suicidal episode, they can likely be stopped should they become suicidal again. Myth: Suicide is a spontaneous behavior.

FACT: People who consider suicide generally aren't "bummed out" about a single

problem, but about many problems that seem to have piled up all at once, creating a feeling of being overwhelmed. Deciding to commit suicide is generally something that a suicidal person does over a period of time as the emotional state erodes to one of helplessness and perceived meaninglessness.

Suicide Intervention

The Don'ts

Avoid inadvertently invalidating or minimizing the person's feelings with statements like "You can't be serious!" or "It's not that bad." Never try to shock or challenge the person with statements such as, "Okay, go ahead and kill yourself."

Don't analyze their motives or try to argue by saying things like "You're just trying to get attention," or "You can't kill yourself because..." If the person is armed, don't try to disarm them by force

Do not leave a suicidal person alone until you can get help - and do not promise to avoid telling anyone else

You should not try to handle the situation on your own (see below). Take constructive and positive action

The Do's

Do your best to make the person feel emotionally safe

Help your friend out of his or her isolation - not because of distrust for what he or she may do when alone, but to demonstrate that you want to be supportive

Affirm the person and your confidence in their strength as evidenced by the fact that they confided in you

Be accepting, non-judgmental and supportive

Involve appropriate others who can help, being careful not to involve people without a need to know about the problem, at risk of invading the person's privacy

Getting Help

You can't give help you don't have. If your own emotional energy is low or if you are headed into crisis yourself by focusing on your friend's situation, it's time to set your limits. Reach out for support for yourself from others who care and understand. Don't be afraid to call for professional assistance or call the police. If you WANT to, you can also offer to take the person to wherever they need to go for professional help. See what's free at AOL.com.