Guest guest Posted July 28, 2006 Report Share Posted July 28, 2006 Welcome Kimmery, Are you sure he is misinterpreting? People with AS tend to take things to heart, and read situations as well as what people say literally. This tends to cause teasing and bullying as well. Have you had your son in for a speech and language evaluation by a SLP who specializes in people on the spectrum? If your ds has pragmatic language issues or even semantic language isues these things will occur alot. Take care Jen hawkeyekimm wrote: > Hi All, > > My name is Kimmery, I have a 9 year old that is dx'd HFA with light > asperger, I actually think it is the other way around, but that's a > whole nother story. > > We have been through some pretty bad times the last 18 months. With > the end results being he is now in a residential treatment center. I > am really second guessing that one but at this point there was > nothing else available. > > What I need to know is what if anything have you done to help your > child with misinterpreting? Almost everything that is said to my > little guy he misinterprets and it is making his life miserable. > > During the school year it got so bad he was hospitalized twice in 2 > weeks, once for talking about killing himself and the other one for > trying. Those were hospitalizations #4 and 5 in 18 months. > > Anyway, he just thinks everyone is being mean to him, doesn't love > him, etc because he misinterprets everything. > > Any clues? > > Thanks, > Kimmery > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 28, 2006 Report Share Posted July 28, 2006 Welcome Kimmery, Are you sure he is misinterpreting? People with AS tend to take things to heart, and read situations as well as what people say literally. This tends to cause teasing and bullying as well. Have you had your son in for a speech and language evaluation by a SLP who specializes in people on the spectrum? If your ds has pragmatic language issues or even semantic language isues these things will occur alot. Take care Jen hawkeyekimm wrote: > Hi All, > > My name is Kimmery, I have a 9 year old that is dx'd HFA with light > asperger, I actually think it is the other way around, but that's a > whole nother story. > > We have been through some pretty bad times the last 18 months. With > the end results being he is now in a residential treatment center. I > am really second guessing that one but at this point there was > nothing else available. > > What I need to know is what if anything have you done to help your > child with misinterpreting? Almost everything that is said to my > little guy he misinterprets and it is making his life miserable. > > During the school year it got so bad he was hospitalized twice in 2 > weeks, once for talking about killing himself and the other one for > trying. Those were hospitalizations #4 and 5 in 18 months. > > Anyway, he just thinks everyone is being mean to him, doesn't love > him, etc because he misinterprets everything. > > Any clues? > > Thanks, > Kimmery > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 > > Welcome Kimmery, > Are you sure he is misinterpreting? People with AS tend to take things > to heart, and read situations as well as what people say literally. > This tends to cause teasing and bullying as well. > Have you had your son in for a speech and language evaluation by a SLP > who specializes in people on the spectrum? If your ds has pragmatic > language issues or even semantic language isues these things will occur > alot. > > Take care > Jen The psychologist that evaluated him said he had problems with pragmatic language delays, I think that's what he called it. He said he has a lot of trouble with the processing of the information. I just call it misinterpreting because he thinks they mean something they don't really mean. And yes he is a HUGE target for bullying and teasing. That is what led to the depression and suicide issues and hospitalizations in May. I will suggest the evals to the people at the hospital. So far they aren't doing any kinds of evals. Once last year when he was here in the hospital again they did extensive psychological exams. Nobody gave me these reports or copies. All they said was he was bipolar and had autistic characteristics. Since then the doctor that was there has left the practice the new one took away bipolar has said PDD and is a jerk. That's why I took him for another psychological exam. That guy said HFA with lite aspergers. I tend to agree more with him except I think it is the other way around. That's a long story. Thanks for the advice. I will let you know if they do any evals for him. I really like this board there's a lot more info and people then the other places I have found. Thanks, Kimmery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 > > Welcome Kimmery, > Are you sure he is misinterpreting? People with AS tend to take things > to heart, and read situations as well as what people say literally. > This tends to cause teasing and bullying as well. > Have you had your son in for a speech and language evaluation by a SLP > who specializes in people on the spectrum? If your ds has pragmatic > language issues or even semantic language isues these things will occur > alot. > > Take care > Jen The psychologist that evaluated him said he had problems with pragmatic language delays, I think that's what he called it. He said he has a lot of trouble with the processing of the information. I just call it misinterpreting because he thinks they mean something they don't really mean. And yes he is a HUGE target for bullying and teasing. That is what led to the depression and suicide issues and hospitalizations in May. I will suggest the evals to the people at the hospital. So far they aren't doing any kinds of evals. Once last year when he was here in the hospital again they did extensive psychological exams. Nobody gave me these reports or copies. All they said was he was bipolar and had autistic characteristics. Since then the doctor that was there has left the practice the new one took away bipolar has said PDD and is a jerk. That's why I took him for another psychological exam. That guy said HFA with lite aspergers. I tend to agree more with him except I think it is the other way around. That's a long story. Thanks for the advice. I will let you know if they do any evals for him. I really like this board there's a lot more info and people then the other places I have found. Thanks, Kimmery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 > > Hi Kimmery, > Have you tried social stories to help him understand situations? Or another idea is, I know this would take a lot of work on your part, but what about starting a circle of friends group at his school to help him feel more connected with others? What kind of books would you suggest? I did get a book that explains Aspergers to him and the differences he has and it tells about the misinterpreting. I told him we would read it every so often so he wouldn't feel so bad. I have tried the friend thing, nobody wants to play with him. All he wants to do is play with swords and shields like Naruto or Zelda. Another Aspie thing of his you know. I have tried and tried to explain to him how other little kids play, what they like etc. But he just swears they would like his way and that they SHOULD like his way and he won't try anything else. I have gotten him to ride his bike and play in the sprinkler. There are a couple little girls down the street that will play with him doing that. But sooner or later he's in the house saying they're being mean to him or not playing right. Then we have meltdown and I have to send friends home for a bit. Right now at the residential home he's in they asked at the intake what was the most important things he needed to work on. One of the most important ones I told them were his social skills. I have to email them and see how that is coming. Thanks for the suggestions. Kimmery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 > > Hi Kimmery, > Have you tried social stories to help him understand situations? Or another idea is, I know this would take a lot of work on your part, but what about starting a circle of friends group at his school to help him feel more connected with others? What kind of books would you suggest? I did get a book that explains Aspergers to him and the differences he has and it tells about the misinterpreting. I told him we would read it every so often so he wouldn't feel so bad. I have tried the friend thing, nobody wants to play with him. All he wants to do is play with swords and shields like Naruto or Zelda. Another Aspie thing of his you know. I have tried and tried to explain to him how other little kids play, what they like etc. But he just swears they would like his way and that they SHOULD like his way and he won't try anything else. I have gotten him to ride his bike and play in the sprinkler. There are a couple little girls down the street that will play with him doing that. But sooner or later he's in the house saying they're being mean to him or not playing right. Then we have meltdown and I have to send friends home for a bit. Right now at the residential home he's in they asked at the intake what was the most important things he needed to work on. One of the most important ones I told them were his social skills. I have to email them and see how that is coming. Thanks for the suggestions. Kimmery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 > > I have not had to deal with social problems yet, my son is too young, only going into Kindergarten. I think a lot about how I will handle this situation. Will I tell all the kids in his class about my son's diagnosis and explain how to be friends with him? Will I try to form an after school group and try to help my son form friendships and help interactions. I know this will be difficult. I know you must be having a very difficult time with this. My instincts tell me that maybe in this situation, we have to intervene and try to help other kids understand our children??? Anybody else have any thoughts on this. Or maybe find a play group or start a play group with other kids that have the same issues?<<< To say the least it is a huge problem. As for telling the other kids, well, this year I have got a couple books that help explain the disorder. They are called " Asperger's HUH? " and LOL...let my older son read the other one. I think it is called " Can I tell you about Aspergers? " Both are written for the sole purpose of explaining the disorder to the child and friends, family, teachers, etc. They are awesome. Anyway I don't know that his teacher will let me read it to the class, if not then we go from there. I will insist actually. But then what do you do about all the other kids on the playground. All the ones that aren't in his class. It is the playground that most of the problems happen with Aspie kids. I wanted to try and form a support group for parents and have their kids over too. But had to put that on hold for now, my plate is too full with my advocating and trying to find job and bring home. But you have very good ideas. The sad thing is, that parents at home have to teach that it is NOT OK to bully and make fun of people that are different. See, I have taught all my kids this and it is almost harder for because he understands it's wrong but doesn't understand why people do it to him. Very hard to teach social skills to him, I have found a program that is supposed to help a GREAT deal, it is called RDI. Relationship Development Intervention. Can't tell you much because I am just learning about it myself. But so far I am very impressed. Well, I have rattled. Take Care and let me know if you come up with any ideas, Kimmery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 > > I have not had to deal with social problems yet, my son is too young, only going into Kindergarten. I think a lot about how I will handle this situation. Will I tell all the kids in his class about my son's diagnosis and explain how to be friends with him? Will I try to form an after school group and try to help my son form friendships and help interactions. I know this will be difficult. I know you must be having a very difficult time with this. My instincts tell me that maybe in this situation, we have to intervene and try to help other kids understand our children??? Anybody else have any thoughts on this. Or maybe find a play group or start a play group with other kids that have the same issues?<<< To say the least it is a huge problem. As for telling the other kids, well, this year I have got a couple books that help explain the disorder. They are called " Asperger's HUH? " and LOL...let my older son read the other one. I think it is called " Can I tell you about Aspergers? " Both are written for the sole purpose of explaining the disorder to the child and friends, family, teachers, etc. They are awesome. Anyway I don't know that his teacher will let me read it to the class, if not then we go from there. I will insist actually. But then what do you do about all the other kids on the playground. All the ones that aren't in his class. It is the playground that most of the problems happen with Aspie kids. I wanted to try and form a support group for parents and have their kids over too. But had to put that on hold for now, my plate is too full with my advocating and trying to find job and bring home. But you have very good ideas. The sad thing is, that parents at home have to teach that it is NOT OK to bully and make fun of people that are different. See, I have taught all my kids this and it is almost harder for because he understands it's wrong but doesn't understand why people do it to him. Very hard to teach social skills to him, I have found a program that is supposed to help a GREAT deal, it is called RDI. Relationship Development Intervention. Can't tell you much because I am just learning about it myself. But so far I am very impressed. Well, I have rattled. Take Care and let me know if you come up with any ideas, Kimmery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 I would love to hear more about RDI once you learn more, I know soon I'll be dealing with the same issues at school and want to be ready. I would think the teacher would definitely want to have you read the book to the class! If she is at all interested in helping your son. Plus it is a good learning experience for all students. I've read (but don't have any experience with this) that once students understand why a child is different, they are more accepting and willing to help. Plus, they might rally around him on the playground when other kids are mean. Maybe with your teachers help, set up a buddy system where the kids take turns helping him on the playground. It seems like it would be rewarding for the other students. I know I teach my daughter that she is already doing her greatest work she will ever do, by helping her little brother learn. She has been a great role model and she loves teaching him. I know she would stick up for him if someone were mean to my son. But, I know this would take a lot of time on your part. But, maybe if you just set aside time on one day a week to work on this, maybe that would help. Just my thoughts. Sorry this is so long! I've had too much coffee this morning. Let me know what you think. Oh, another idea is to make sure his dress/appearance doesn't make him stand out as a target. I've read that keeping up with the fashions isn't normally recommended but with a child that is already different, clothing shouldn't make him stand out even more. I'm sure you are well aware of this, but I know with my son, I plan to make sure he looks as cute as he can. :)hawkeyekimm <hawkeyekimm@...> wrote: >> I have not had to deal with social problems yet, my son is too young, only going into Kindergarten. I think a lot about how I will handle this situation. Will I tell all the kids in his class about my son's diagnosis and explain how to be friends with him? Will I try to form an after school group and try to help my son form friendships and help interactions. I know this will be difficult. I know you must be having a very difficult time with this. My instincts tell me that maybe in this situation, we have to intervene and try to help other kids understand our children??? Anybody else have any thoughts on this. Or maybe find a play group or start a play group with other kids that have the same issues?<<<To say the least it is a huge problem.As for telling the other kids, well, this year I have got a couple books that help explain the disorder. They are called "Asperger's HUH?" and LOL...let my older son read the other one. I think it is called "Can I tell you about Aspergers?" Both are written for the sole purpose of explaining the disorder to the child and friends, family, teachers, etc. They are awesome. Anyway I don't know that his teacher will let me read it to the class, if not then we go from there.I will insist actually. But then what do you do about all the other kids on the playground. All the ones that aren't in his class. It is the playground that most of the problems happen with Aspie kids.I wanted to try and form a support group for parents and have their kids over too. But had to put that on hold for now, my plate is too full with my advocating and trying to find job and bring home.But you have very good ideas. The sad thing is, that parents at home have to teach that it is NOT OK to bully and make fun of people that are different.See, I have taught all my kids this and it is almost harder for because he understands it's wrong but doesn't understand why people do it to him.Very hard to teach social skills to him, I have found a program that is supposed to help a GREAT deal, it is called RDI. Relationship Development Intervention.Can't tell you much because I am just learning about it myself. But so far I am very impressed.Well, I have rattled.Take Care and let me know if you come up with any ideas,Kimmery How low will we go? Check out Messenger’s low PC-to-Phone call rates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 I would love to hear more about RDI once you learn more, I know soon I'll be dealing with the same issues at school and want to be ready. I would think the teacher would definitely want to have you read the book to the class! If she is at all interested in helping your son. Plus it is a good learning experience for all students. I've read (but don't have any experience with this) that once students understand why a child is different, they are more accepting and willing to help. Plus, they might rally around him on the playground when other kids are mean. Maybe with your teachers help, set up a buddy system where the kids take turns helping him on the playground. It seems like it would be rewarding for the other students. I know I teach my daughter that she is already doing her greatest work she will ever do, by helping her little brother learn. She has been a great role model and she loves teaching him. I know she would stick up for him if someone were mean to my son. But, I know this would take a lot of time on your part. But, maybe if you just set aside time on one day a week to work on this, maybe that would help. Just my thoughts. Sorry this is so long! I've had too much coffee this morning. Let me know what you think. Oh, another idea is to make sure his dress/appearance doesn't make him stand out as a target. I've read that keeping up with the fashions isn't normally recommended but with a child that is already different, clothing shouldn't make him stand out even more. I'm sure you are well aware of this, but I know with my son, I plan to make sure he looks as cute as he can. :)hawkeyekimm <hawkeyekimm@...> wrote: >> I have not had to deal with social problems yet, my son is too young, only going into Kindergarten. I think a lot about how I will handle this situation. Will I tell all the kids in his class about my son's diagnosis and explain how to be friends with him? Will I try to form an after school group and try to help my son form friendships and help interactions. I know this will be difficult. I know you must be having a very difficult time with this. My instincts tell me that maybe in this situation, we have to intervene and try to help other kids understand our children??? Anybody else have any thoughts on this. Or maybe find a play group or start a play group with other kids that have the same issues?<<<To say the least it is a huge problem.As for telling the other kids, well, this year I have got a couple books that help explain the disorder. They are called "Asperger's HUH?" and LOL...let my older son read the other one. I think it is called "Can I tell you about Aspergers?" Both are written for the sole purpose of explaining the disorder to the child and friends, family, teachers, etc. They are awesome. Anyway I don't know that his teacher will let me read it to the class, if not then we go from there.I will insist actually. But then what do you do about all the other kids on the playground. All the ones that aren't in his class. It is the playground that most of the problems happen with Aspie kids.I wanted to try and form a support group for parents and have their kids over too. But had to put that on hold for now, my plate is too full with my advocating and trying to find job and bring home.But you have very good ideas. The sad thing is, that parents at home have to teach that it is NOT OK to bully and make fun of people that are different.See, I have taught all my kids this and it is almost harder for because he understands it's wrong but doesn't understand why people do it to him.Very hard to teach social skills to him, I have found a program that is supposed to help a GREAT deal, it is called RDI. Relationship Development Intervention.Can't tell you much because I am just learning about it myself. But so far I am very impressed.Well, I have rattled.Take Care and let me know if you come up with any ideas,Kimmery How low will we go? Check out Messenger’s low PC-to-Phone call rates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 One more thought, I don't know that you would need to reveal the diagnosis in order to help him??? With my son, if he seems to be communicating well but still a little socially akward, I might tell kids he is speech delayed or something like that so that later on, if he seems typical, then he won't be labeled. Just my thoughts. Good luck and keep me posted.hawkeyekimm <hawkeyekimm@...> wrote: >> I have not had to deal with social problems yet, my son is too young, only going into Kindergarten. I think a lot about how I will handle this situation. Will I tell all the kids in his class about my son's diagnosis and explain how to be friends with him? Will I try to form an after school group and try to help my son form friendships and help interactions. I know this will be difficult. I know you must be having a very difficult time with this. My instincts tell me that maybe in this situation, we have to intervene and try to help other kids understand our children??? Anybody else have any thoughts on this. Or maybe find a play group or start a play group with other kids that have the same issues?<<<To say the least it is a huge problem.As for telling the other kids, well, this year I have got a couple books that help explain the disorder. They are called "Asperger's HUH?" and LOL...let my older son read the other one. I think it is called "Can I tell you about Aspergers?" Both are written for the sole purpose of explaining the disorder to the child and friends, family, teachers, etc. They are awesome. Anyway I don't know that his teacher will let me read it to the class, if not then we go from there.I will insist actually. But then what do you do about all the other kids on the playground. All the ones that aren't in his class. It is the playground that most of the problems happen with Aspie kids.I wanted to try and form a support group for parents and have their kids over too. But had to put that on hold for now, my plate is too full with my advocating and trying to find job and bring home.But you have very good ideas. The sad thing is, that parents at home have to teach that it is NOT OK to bully and make fun of people that are different.See, I have taught all my kids this and it is almost harder for because he understands it's wrong but doesn't understand why people do it to him.Very hard to teach social skills to him, I have found a program that is supposed to help a GREAT deal, it is called RDI. Relationship Development Intervention.Can't tell you much because I am just learning about it myself. But so far I am very impressed.Well, I have rattled.Take Care and let me know if you come up with any ideas,Kimmery Groups are talking. We´re listening. Check out the handy changes to . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 One more thought, I don't know that you would need to reveal the diagnosis in order to help him??? With my son, if he seems to be communicating well but still a little socially akward, I might tell kids he is speech delayed or something like that so that later on, if he seems typical, then he won't be labeled. Just my thoughts. Good luck and keep me posted.hawkeyekimm <hawkeyekimm@...> wrote: >> I have not had to deal with social problems yet, my son is too young, only going into Kindergarten. I think a lot about how I will handle this situation. Will I tell all the kids in his class about my son's diagnosis and explain how to be friends with him? Will I try to form an after school group and try to help my son form friendships and help interactions. I know this will be difficult. I know you must be having a very difficult time with this. My instincts tell me that maybe in this situation, we have to intervene and try to help other kids understand our children??? Anybody else have any thoughts on this. Or maybe find a play group or start a play group with other kids that have the same issues?<<<To say the least it is a huge problem.As for telling the other kids, well, this year I have got a couple books that help explain the disorder. They are called "Asperger's HUH?" and LOL...let my older son read the other one. I think it is called "Can I tell you about Aspergers?" Both are written for the sole purpose of explaining the disorder to the child and friends, family, teachers, etc. They are awesome. Anyway I don't know that his teacher will let me read it to the class, if not then we go from there.I will insist actually. But then what do you do about all the other kids on the playground. All the ones that aren't in his class. It is the playground that most of the problems happen with Aspie kids.I wanted to try and form a support group for parents and have their kids over too. But had to put that on hold for now, my plate is too full with my advocating and trying to find job and bring home.But you have very good ideas. The sad thing is, that parents at home have to teach that it is NOT OK to bully and make fun of people that are different.See, I have taught all my kids this and it is almost harder for because he understands it's wrong but doesn't understand why people do it to him.Very hard to teach social skills to him, I have found a program that is supposed to help a GREAT deal, it is called RDI. Relationship Development Intervention.Can't tell you much because I am just learning about it myself. But so far I am very impressed.Well, I have rattled.Take Care and let me know if you come up with any ideas,Kimmery Groups are talking. We´re listening. Check out the handy changes to . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 > > One more thought, I don't know that you would need to reveal the diagnosis in order to help him??? With my son, if he seems to be communicating well but still a little socially akward, I might tell kids he is speech delayed or something like that so that later on, if he seems typical, then he won't be labeled. Just my thoughts. Good luck and keep me posted. > Tami, See that's the problem with my Pooh, he is so severe that he just doesn't fit in at all with the other kids. And THEY know he is different and THEY THINK he is weird and that's why they treat him badly. He can't run very well, can't throw a ball for the life of him, doesn't want to interact on their level. They used to I think ask him to play but then all he wanted to do was play like he was a video game character. These are kids he's went to school with for going on 5 years now. So, that is how they get labeled the wrong way. That is what is breaking my heart and his. He's went to the same school from day one. So, while I don't like labels at this point it might be beneficial to read these books to his classmates. They are getting plenty old enough now. He is going into 4th grade. I do see your point and I agree for most kids if the situation is right don't tell for now. But that again maybe, IMO, teaches the kids that they should keep it a secret, be ashamed. Two sides of that spectrum that is a hard call no matter which way you look at it. I just learned from another board that the RDI program can cost anywhere from $3000 to $6000 a year. But, I am going to try and swing it. Still trying to figure out how to even get started, people on that board aren't very quick to answer. Doggone it. Take Care, Kimmery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 > > One more thought, I don't know that you would need to reveal the diagnosis in order to help him??? With my son, if he seems to be communicating well but still a little socially akward, I might tell kids he is speech delayed or something like that so that later on, if he seems typical, then he won't be labeled. Just my thoughts. Good luck and keep me posted. > Tami, See that's the problem with my Pooh, he is so severe that he just doesn't fit in at all with the other kids. And THEY know he is different and THEY THINK he is weird and that's why they treat him badly. He can't run very well, can't throw a ball for the life of him, doesn't want to interact on their level. They used to I think ask him to play but then all he wanted to do was play like he was a video game character. These are kids he's went to school with for going on 5 years now. So, that is how they get labeled the wrong way. That is what is breaking my heart and his. He's went to the same school from day one. So, while I don't like labels at this point it might be beneficial to read these books to his classmates. They are getting plenty old enough now. He is going into 4th grade. I do see your point and I agree for most kids if the situation is right don't tell for now. But that again maybe, IMO, teaches the kids that they should keep it a secret, be ashamed. Two sides of that spectrum that is a hard call no matter which way you look at it. I just learned from another board that the RDI program can cost anywhere from $3000 to $6000 a year. But, I am going to try and swing it. Still trying to figure out how to even get started, people on that board aren't very quick to answer. Doggone it. Take Care, Kimmery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 Tami, You have some very good ideas about the school, I am going to print them out and put them in the letter I will write to his teacher for when school starts. I answered this post in the other one to you but the issue of clothes, ROFLMHO!!!! I try so hard to send him out of this door matching and looking nice BUT he insists upon NOT. He insists upon wearing his clothes backwards, inside out, even filthy dirty. I beg him, try to explain that the kids will make fun of him and he says he doesn't care that's what he wants to wear. So..hopefully this school year will be different. <heavy sigh> Kimmery > > I would love to hear more about RDI once you learn more, I know soon I'll be dealing with the same issues at school and want to be ready. > > I would think the teacher would definitely want to have you read the book to the class! If she is at all interested in helping your son. Plus it is a good learning experience for all students. I've read (but don't have any experience with this) that once students understand why a child is different, they are more accepting and willing to help. Plus, they might rally around him on the playground when other kids are mean. Maybe with your teachers help, set up a buddy system where the kids take turns helping him on the playground. It seems like it would be rewarding for the other students. I know I teach my daughter that she is already doing her greatest work she will ever do, by helping her little brother learn. She has been a great role model and she loves teaching him. I know she would stick up for him if someone were mean to my son. But, I know this would take a lot of time on your part. But, maybe if you just set aside time on one day a week to work on this, > maybe that would help. Just my thoughts. Sorry this is so long! I've had too much coffee this morning. Let me know what you think. Oh, another idea is to make sure his dress/appearance doesn't make him stand out as a target. I've read that keeping up with the fashions isn't normally recommended but with a child that is already different, clothing shouldn't make him stand out even more. I'm sure you are well aware of this, but I know with my son, I plan to make sure he looks as cute as he can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 Tami, You have some very good ideas about the school, I am going to print them out and put them in the letter I will write to his teacher for when school starts. I answered this post in the other one to you but the issue of clothes, ROFLMHO!!!! I try so hard to send him out of this door matching and looking nice BUT he insists upon NOT. He insists upon wearing his clothes backwards, inside out, even filthy dirty. I beg him, try to explain that the kids will make fun of him and he says he doesn't care that's what he wants to wear. So..hopefully this school year will be different. <heavy sigh> Kimmery > > I would love to hear more about RDI once you learn more, I know soon I'll be dealing with the same issues at school and want to be ready. > > I would think the teacher would definitely want to have you read the book to the class! If she is at all interested in helping your son. Plus it is a good learning experience for all students. I've read (but don't have any experience with this) that once students understand why a child is different, they are more accepting and willing to help. Plus, they might rally around him on the playground when other kids are mean. Maybe with your teachers help, set up a buddy system where the kids take turns helping him on the playground. It seems like it would be rewarding for the other students. I know I teach my daughter that she is already doing her greatest work she will ever do, by helping her little brother learn. She has been a great role model and she loves teaching him. I know she would stick up for him if someone were mean to my son. But, I know this would take a lot of time on your part. But, maybe if you just set aside time on one day a week to work on this, > maybe that would help. Just my thoughts. Sorry this is so long! I've had too much coffee this morning. Let me know what you think. Oh, another idea is to make sure his dress/appearance doesn't make him stand out as a target. I've read that keeping up with the fashions isn't normally recommended but with a child that is already different, clothing shouldn't make him stand out even more. I'm sure you are well aware of this, but I know with my son, I plan to make sure he looks as cute as he can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 Reading the book may be the answer then. Telling the kids why he is the way he is may make a difference. If it were me, and I must remind you, I haven't gone through this so I am just going on instinct. But, if it were me, I would also let the kids know that you need their help with something and explain the situation...and tell them they have the power to do something really awesome in their life by helping him. They are the best teachers for him etc...to give them a little incentive for wanting to help. Tell them that when they grow up and think back about your son, they will feel good about helping him and not look back and feel badly for having treated him meanly. Also, teach them how to play with him. Then, you may want to come back to school every so often to praise their good efforts (as a way to remind them to stay on track) and let them know how they have helped so far etc.... Maybe bring in cookies or cupcakes and have a little celebration to praise the kids??? I think the buddy system is a good idea too. I hope it works!!! Keep me posted. I know it won't be long before I am dealing with this issue too so any feedback you give is very helpful.hawkeyekimm <hawkeyekimm@...> wrote: >> One more thought, I don't know that you would need to reveal the diagnosis in order to help him??? With my son, if he seems to be communicating well but still a little socially akward, I might tell kids he is speech delayed or something like that so that later on, if he seems typical, then he won't be labeled. Just my thoughts. Good luck and keep me posted.> Tami,See that's the problem with my Pooh, he is so severe that he just doesn't fit in at all with the other kids. And THEY know he is different and THEY THINK he is weird and that's why they treat him badly.He can't run very well, can't throw a ball for the life of him, doesn't want to interact on their level. They used to I think ask him to play but then all he wanted to do was play like he was a video game character.These are kids he's went to school with for going on 5 years now. So, that is how they get labeled the wrong way. That is what is breaking my heart and his. He's went to the same school from day one.So, while I don't like labels at this point it might be beneficial to read these books to his classmates. They are getting plenty old enough now. He is going into 4th grade. I do see your point and I agree for most kids if the situation is right don't tell for now. But that again maybe, IMO, teaches the kids that they should keep it a secret, be ashamed.Two sides of that spectrum that is a hard call no matter which way you look at it.I just learned from another board that the RDI program can cost anywhere from $3000 to $6000 a year. But, I am going to try and swing it.Still trying to figure out how to even get started, people on that board aren't very quick to answer. Doggone it.Take Care,Kimmery Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 Reading the book may be the answer then. Telling the kids why he is the way he is may make a difference. If it were me, and I must remind you, I haven't gone through this so I am just going on instinct. But, if it were me, I would also let the kids know that you need their help with something and explain the situation...and tell them they have the power to do something really awesome in their life by helping him. They are the best teachers for him etc...to give them a little incentive for wanting to help. Tell them that when they grow up and think back about your son, they will feel good about helping him and not look back and feel badly for having treated him meanly. Also, teach them how to play with him. Then, you may want to come back to school every so often to praise their good efforts (as a way to remind them to stay on track) and let them know how they have helped so far etc.... Maybe bring in cookies or cupcakes and have a little celebration to praise the kids??? I think the buddy system is a good idea too. I hope it works!!! Keep me posted. I know it won't be long before I am dealing with this issue too so any feedback you give is very helpful.hawkeyekimm <hawkeyekimm@...> wrote: >> One more thought, I don't know that you would need to reveal the diagnosis in order to help him??? With my son, if he seems to be communicating well but still a little socially akward, I might tell kids he is speech delayed or something like that so that later on, if he seems typical, then he won't be labeled. Just my thoughts. Good luck and keep me posted.> Tami,See that's the problem with my Pooh, he is so severe that he just doesn't fit in at all with the other kids. And THEY know he is different and THEY THINK he is weird and that's why they treat him badly.He can't run very well, can't throw a ball for the life of him, doesn't want to interact on their level. They used to I think ask him to play but then all he wanted to do was play like he was a video game character.These are kids he's went to school with for going on 5 years now. So, that is how they get labeled the wrong way. That is what is breaking my heart and his. He's went to the same school from day one.So, while I don't like labels at this point it might be beneficial to read these books to his classmates. They are getting plenty old enough now. He is going into 4th grade. I do see your point and I agree for most kids if the situation is right don't tell for now. But that again maybe, IMO, teaches the kids that they should keep it a secret, be ashamed.Two sides of that spectrum that is a hard call no matter which way you look at it.I just learned from another board that the RDI program can cost anywhere from $3000 to $6000 a year. But, I am going to try and swing it.Still trying to figure out how to even get started, people on that board aren't very quick to answer. Doggone it.Take Care,Kimmery Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 I guess the clothes issue is easier for me because my little guy is only going in Kindergarten, so I can still set his clothes out. What about picking out what he will wear together the night before and argue with him when you have more time. Maybe a mirror would work to show him??? Good luck, I know its hard when they have to do it their way! :)hawkeyekimm <hawkeyekimm@...> wrote: Tami,You have some very good ideas about the school, I am going to print them out and put them in the letter I will write to his teacher for when school starts.I answered this post in the other one to you but the issue of clothes, ROFLMHO!!!! I try so hard to send him out of this door matching and looking nice BUT he insists upon NOT.He insists upon wearing his clothes backwards, inside out, even filthy dirty. I beg him, try to explain that the kids will make fun of him and he says he doesn't care that's what he wants to wear.So..hopefully this school year will be different. <heavy sigh>Kimmery>> I would love to hear more about RDI once you learn more, I know soon I'll be dealing with the same issues at school and want to be ready.> > I would think the teacher would definitely want to have you read the book to the class! If she is at all interested in helping your son. Plus it is a good learning experience for all students. I've read (but don't have any experience with this) that once students understand why a child is different, they are more accepting and willing to help. Plus, they might rally around him on the playground when other kids are mean. Maybe with your teachers help, set up a buddy system where the kids take turns helping him on the playground. It seems like it would be rewarding for the other students. I know I teach my daughter that she is already doing her greatest work she will ever do, by helping her little brother learn. She has been a great role model and she loves teaching him. I know she would stick up for him if someone were mean to my son. But, I know this would take a lot of time on your part. But, maybe if you just set aside time on one day a week to work on this,> maybe that would help. Just my thoughts. Sorry this is so long! I've had too much coffee this morning. Let me know what you think. Oh, another idea is to make sure his dress/appearance doesn't make him stand out as a target. I've read that keeping up with the fashions isn't normally recommended but with a child that is already different, clothing shouldn't make him stand out even more. I'm sure you are well aware of this, but I know with my son, I plan to make sure he looks as cute as he can. Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 > > Reading the book may be the answer then. Telling the kids why he is the way he is may make a difference. If it were me, and I must remind you, I haven't gone through this so I am just going on instinct. But, if it were me, I would also let the kids know that you need their help with something and explain the situation...and tell them they have the power to do something really awesome in their life by helping him. They are the best teachers for him etc...to give them a little incentive for wanting to help. Tell them that when they grow up and think back about your son, they will feel good about helping him and not look back and feel badly for having treated him meanly. Also, teach them how to play with him. Then, you may want to come back to school every so often to praise their good efforts (as a way to remind them to stay on track) and let them know how they have helped so far etc.... Maybe bring in cookies or cupcakes and have a little celebration to praise > the kids??? I think the buddy system is a good idea too. I hope it works!!! Keep me posted. I know it won't be long before I am dealing with this issue too so any feedback you give is very helpful.<< Tami, All SUPER I am going to print this one out and talk to his teacher about it as well. I know they have a deal where if someone sees someone else bullying they are supposed to tell, but you know how well that goes if all the kids pick on one in particular. Nobody's going to say anything. I think it might work if I present it the right way. And I will certainly let you know how it goes. Hugs to you and thanks, Kimmery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 > > Reading the book may be the answer then. Telling the kids why he is the way he is may make a difference. If it were me, and I must remind you, I haven't gone through this so I am just going on instinct. But, if it were me, I would also let the kids know that you need their help with something and explain the situation...and tell them they have the power to do something really awesome in their life by helping him. They are the best teachers for him etc...to give them a little incentive for wanting to help. Tell them that when they grow up and think back about your son, they will feel good about helping him and not look back and feel badly for having treated him meanly. Also, teach them how to play with him. Then, you may want to come back to school every so often to praise their good efforts (as a way to remind them to stay on track) and let them know how they have helped so far etc.... Maybe bring in cookies or cupcakes and have a little celebration to praise > the kids??? I think the buddy system is a good idea too. I hope it works!!! Keep me posted. I know it won't be long before I am dealing with this issue too so any feedback you give is very helpful.<< Tami, All SUPER I am going to print this one out and talk to his teacher about it as well. I know they have a deal where if someone sees someone else bullying they are supposed to tell, but you know how well that goes if all the kids pick on one in particular. Nobody's going to say anything. I think it might work if I present it the right way. And I will certainly let you know how it goes. Hugs to you and thanks, Kimmery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 I try and retry and re re try everything, hopefully this year it will work. I have even had him go to bed in the clothes he wants to wear that we can decide on so there are no issues. When he wakes up he changes his mind. LOL So, when the first day of school starts we will see what happens. It seems like the only time he cares about what he looks like is for picture day. <grin> Kimmery > > I guess the clothes issue is easier for me because my little guy is only going in Kindergarten, so I can still set his clothes out. What about picking out what he will wear together the night before and argue with him when you have more time. Maybe a mirror would work to show him??? Good luck, I know its hard when they have to do it their way! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 Too funny! Good luck.hawkeyekimm <hawkeyekimm@...> wrote: I try and retry and re re try everything, hopefully this year it will work. I have even had him go to bed in the clothes he wants to wear that we can decide on so there are no issues. When he wakes up he changes his mind. LOLSo, when the first day of school starts we will see what happens. It seems like the only time he cares about what he looks like is for picture day. <grin>Kimmery>> I guess the clothes issue is easier for me because my little guy is only going in Kindergarten, so I can still set his clothes out. What about picking out what he will wear together the night before and argue with him when you have more time. Maybe a mirror would work to show him??? Good luck, I know its hard when they have to do it their way! > See the all-new, redesigned .com. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 Too funny! Good luck.hawkeyekimm <hawkeyekimm@...> wrote: I try and retry and re re try everything, hopefully this year it will work. I have even had him go to bed in the clothes he wants to wear that we can decide on so there are no issues. When he wakes up he changes his mind. LOLSo, when the first day of school starts we will see what happens. It seems like the only time he cares about what he looks like is for picture day. <grin>Kimmery>> I guess the clothes issue is easier for me because my little guy is only going in Kindergarten, so I can still set his clothes out. What about picking out what he will wear together the night before and argue with him when you have more time. Maybe a mirror would work to show him??? Good luck, I know its hard when they have to do it their way! > See the all-new, redesigned .com. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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