From one grandmother to another

[Guest guest]

You know we often put our in laws downs. We have all been guilty of it. Its human nature they tick us off sometimes . Mine more often that not. When it comes to these Autisic children though anyone that will fight for them and look out for them deserves credit and also needs to vent. Who knows what the daughter in law has said about her before just behind her back. Everyone would be greatful for a wonderful person like her to help with these kids. I know I would it is really stressful. Sometimes we have to do things and make choices others will not like but it is best for the kids

[Guest guest]

>Pat is frustrated and worried, as the Granny she has no say in anything, but is required to do the work involved. Believe me its tough, so she comes to this group to vent like everybody else. Let's at least agree to let her vent here....<

That is why I started the Grandparents as Autism Advocates group where we grandparents can say what we want without repercussion. There are many of us grandparents as caregivers of our grandchild with autism.

[Guest guest]

–

Is this a group? Is the group just

for grandparents that are caregivers or can any grandparent of an autie join?

My FIL is very interested in autism, and I’m sure he would be very

interested.

~Penny ~

JAX Management, Inc.

http://www.jaxmgt.com

Furthering the cause of

Autism Awareness

From: Carlson

[mailto:cathykay@...]

Sent: Saturday, February 19, 2005

1:34 PM

To:

autism

Subject: From one

grandmother to another

>Pat is frustrated and worried, as the Granny she has no say in

anything, but

is required to do the work involved. Believe me its tough, so she comes to

this group to vent like everybody else. Let's at least agree to let her vent

here....<

That is why I started the Grandparents as Autism Advocates group where

we grandparents can say what we want without repercussion. There are many

of us grandparents as caregivers of our grandchild with autism.

[Guest guest]

Thanks, , and thanks for starting the grandmothers group. It has been very helpful. Pat K

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Dannilynn. I am amazed at receiving such support. I'm sure Bonnie was just venting some of her frustration with her own in-laws. I have read many of Bonnie's emails and she always trys to give helpful information. Pat K

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Is there a grandmother's group? I belong to several groups but I'm not sure if a grandmother's groups is one of them. Please let me know.

Thanks.

I am a grandma and would love to be a part of that group.

Lois

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Can someone please tell me about the show that was televised tonight. Tucson, AZ didn't have the time to put it on the air. I called last night and that was what I was told. They are so damn backwards in this city.

Thanks.

Lois

[Guest guest]

To set the record straight. I have no inlaws. My ex husband and I were in a marriage for less than two years, he is from Canada and his mother passed away and his father left when he was a child. The only issues I have had with his family is about the ex and whether he really is paranoid schizophrenic. His father has not seen him since he was 16 so not really up on the personality of his son. But he is not my problem, I just try to learn about this mental illness since my kids both have a 50% chance of the same thing as they get older.

I am the type of person that speaks my mind and I did not like the negativity, so I spoke up and said what was on my mind. Pat's reply comment was the nicest one regarding my opinion.

As I had mentioned I ceased communication with my family five years ago due to the negativity regarding my parenting my two children with autism.

I have no frustration in my life. My household is a positive place, no bad mouthing anyone, and there is no one to complain about.

I observed ten years ago the way my Mother treated her own mother in her last year of Alzheimers. It was not a loving experience at all, completely different from articles of loving families I had read about. My sister is blind and about 40 years old and still lives with my parents. She had a brain tumor at age 8 and spent a few years in NY Hospital having operations and then became blind.

I spent my childhood listening to my father complain about how he could not have a vacation and my mother bitch about everything. They let my sister rot in a chair making pot holders listening to country music. That is what she has become, they did nothing to improve her quality of life, they were embarassed to take her out and left her in the car. When my sister would hug her and say she loved her my mother would look away and laugh.

When I had eczema on my face I had to stay in my room with the door closed during my Aunts baby shower. My mother was ashamed of me and I had a medical reason. There is no way those people would spend a minute alone with either of my children. They are happy.

I was there for a few months ten years ago, pregnant at 35 with my younger son and a 8 month old there, saving money to come back to CA. My Mother hit me, worried about her antiques that my son was crawling around. When she went out with my grandmother (who lived with g-pa) or my sister she did not walk with them, she dragged them and you could tell by the way she held their hands. During my 5 month stay my father went on and on about vacations, years later still harping on them and I told him it had nothing to do with my sister, it was the fact that he wanted to have his own business and should accept the way of life he chose.

Why would I want my children to receive that treatment, the negative opinions of my life and why my son was not put into an institution. Negativity puts a strain on one's health and outlook on life. Spending so much time ranting about a family member is not productive, in my opinion, which I am entitled to.

It is asumed that my post, which was offering my feedback on posts over time, was the result of frustration, see how a negative came out of that post. I felt better saying what was on my mind and continued with my life, while everyone here is still up in arms. Who is sleeping better?

How many vents has anyone read here from me? Anything I post about a teacher is something I would and have said to their face.

The show tonight on NBC showed all these parents crying about the day they got the diagnosis. They were melodramatic and their kids seemed a hell of a lot better functioning than my younger son. Both my kids watched it with me while I educated the almost ten year old HFA kid on what HFA means and similarities with other kids and he wanted to know why the Mothers were crying.

My one frustration - driving it is a fear, probably more a phobia and I am trying to do some research online to get me some help. It might fall under the OCD label and I am busy figuring it all out. No time for negativity in my house. The only ranting is my freaking out behind the wheel. I cancelled therapy last week because they said it would rain and I cannot handle that, and the day before I called and cancelled a tour with the Help Group, which was profiled tonight, the tour is 1.5 hours and the drive is one hour each way via streets since I do not do freeways. I panicked thinking what if the school called for one of my kids and it is a long drive back and rain was in the forecast.

It is basically just me and my two kids, with a med student volunteer for two hours on Sundays. There is no outside help, they go to summer autism day camp and I stay within ten minutes just in case since it is a 45 minute ride each way and one has feeding therapy and the other social skills, when I can get behind the wheel to take them, we go.

Bonnie

============

pkuenstler@... wrote:

Thanks, Dannilynn. I am amazed at receiving such support. I'm sure Bonnie was just venting some of her frustration with her own in-laws. I have read many of Bonnie's emails and she always trys to give helpful information. Pat K

[Guest guest]

Bonnie,

Where do you live? Maybe there is an ASA group near you for support. I run the washington county ASA in Hagerstown md. I am mom to 32 and JJ 17 with autism and one grandson Diamond that is 9. The way I look at things like you describe is that maybe your mom and dad had a rough time in there days too. Remenber- There wasen't an internet option for them to have support and back then there wasen't much support to be found. I know.....I have an older sister that got mental troubles right after giving birth (Early 60's) and she has spent her entire adult life in a Hosp. My mom and dad was very loving people but back then there was no services to help with these things. I also grew up not telling anybody that I had an "Older" sister and where she was because in "those" days that is what you did.

It is getting better but we still have a long way to go to get what is needed for our kids and siblings. Hang in there and once in a while its "ok" to vent. We need to do this. ((HUGS)) Lois

Re: From one grandmother to another

To set the record straight. I have no inlaws. My ex husband and I were in a marriage for less than two years, he is from Canada and his mother passed away and his father left when he was a child. The only issues I have had with his family is about the ex and whether he really is paranoid schizophrenic. His father has not seen him since he was 16 so not really up on the personality of his son. But he is not my problem, I just try to learn about this mental illness since my kids both have a 50% chance of the same thing as they get older.

I am the type of person that speaks my mind and I did not like the negativity, so I spoke up and said what was on my mind. Pat's reply comment was the nicest one regarding my opinion.

As I had mentioned I ceased communication with my family five years ago due to the negativity regarding my parenting my two children with autism.

I have no frustration in my life. My household is a positive place, no bad mouthing anyone, and there is no one to complain about.

I observed ten years ago the way my Mother treated her own mother in her last year of Alzheimers. It was not a loving experience at all, completely different from articles of loving families I had read about. My sister is blind and about 40 years old and still lives with my parents. She had a brain tumor at age 8 and spent a few years in NY Hospital having operations and then became blind.

I spent my childhood listening to my father complain about how he could not have a vacation and my mother bitch about everything. They let my sister rot in a chair making pot holders listening to country music. That is what she has become, they did nothing to improve her quality of life, they were embarassed to take her out and left her in the car. When my sister would hug her and say she loved her my mother would look away and laugh.

When I had eczema on my face I had to stay in my room with the door closed during my Aunts baby shower. My mother was ashamed of me and I had a medical reason. There is no way those people would spend a minute alone with either of my children. They are happy.

I was there for a few months ten years ago, pregnant at 35 with my younger son and a 8 month old there, saving money to come back to CA. My Mother hit me, worried about her antiques that my son was crawling around. When she went out with my grandmother (who lived with g-pa) or my sister she did not walk with them, she dragged them and you could tell by the way she held their hands. During my 5 month stay my father went on and on about vacations, years later still harping on them and I told him it had nothing to do with my sister, it was the fact that he wanted to have his own business and should accept the way of life he chose.

Why would I want my children to receive that treatment, the negative opinions of my life and why my son was not put into an institution. Negativity puts a strain on one's health and outlook on life. Spending so much time ranting about a family member is not productive, in my opinion, which I am entitled to.

It is asumed that my post, which was offering my feedback on posts over time, was the result of frustration, see how a negative came out of that post. I felt better saying what was on my mind and continued with my life, while everyone here is still up in arms. Who is sleeping better?

How many vents has anyone read here from me? Anything I post about a teacher is something I would and have said to their face.

The show tonight on NBC showed all these parents crying about the day they got the diagnosis. They were melodramatic and their kids seemed a hell of a lot better functioning than my younger son. Both my kids watched it with me while I educated the almost ten year old HFA kid on what HFA means and similarities with other kids and he wanted to know why the Mothers were crying.

My one frustration - driving it is a fear, probably more a phobia and I am trying to do some research online to get me some help. It might fall under the OCD label and I am busy figuring it all out. No time for negativity in my house. The only ranting is my freaking out behind the wheel. I cancelled therapy last week because they said it would rain and I cannot handle that, and the day before I called and cancelled a tour with the Help Group, which was profiled tonight, the tour is 1.5 hours and the drive is one hour each way via streets since I do not do freeways. I panicked thinking what if the school called for one of my kids and it is a long drive back and rain was in the forecast.

It is basically just me and my two kids, with a med student volunteer for two hours on Sundays. There is no outside help, they go to summer autism day camp and I stay within ten minutes just in case since it is a 45 minute ride each way and one has feeding therapy and the other social skills, when I can get behind the wheel to take them, we go.

Bonnie

============

pkuenstler@... wrote:

Thanks, Dannilynn. I am amazed at receiving such support. I'm sure Bonnie was just venting some of her frustration with her own in-laws. I have read many of Bonnie's emails and she always trys to give helpful information. Pat K