Guest guest Posted May 5, 2001 Report Share Posted May 5, 2001 --- Hi I'm new here and hope you don't mind if I jump in. My son has missed over a month of school(6th grade) and we are currently working on " a Plan " - I was wondering what the recommended accomodations were that the school wouldn't consider. I tried looking in past post for it, but I'm getting a bit confused in my search. Our school seems responsive but I really am not sure what to ask for. Thanks for any advise, MP In @y..., GPesses@a... wrote: > Kathy R, I, too am more than ready for this school year to end!! is > coasting to the end, I'm afraid. > > We met with the school yesterday and we will be taking her out of her > present school. They are unwilling to try the accomodations recommended in > the evaluation, saying that they have already done as much as they feel they > can. It only took them 4 weeks to actually admit what we have known for more > than 2 months! I was the epitome of calm, mostly because I said very little > and let Harold do the talking. He was fabulous, with just the right tone of > sincerity and yet not just rolling over and playing dead. I would've been > hard pressed not to tell the school to shove it. > > I am going to look at another private school Monday (I had already > started doing my research prior to the meeting) and will also look at > programs in the public school. > > It's so awkward now - we have not told , who will be crushed that > she cannot finish at her school. She's been there for 7 years and went to > day care there before. We want to have some definite alternatives before we > talk to her about it. > > The other awkward part is that Danny graduates from the same school in 3 > weeks. While this is better than if he were to still go there and had > to leave, we are feeling such a wide range of emotions at the school - and > cannot avoid being there with all the graduation festivities this month. We > are so proud and overjoyed for his success while being mad, sad, frustrated, > you name it - with the school simultaneously. > > Yesterday I took a mental health afternoon and went to the New Orleans > Jazz and Heritage Festival. It was a glorious day and my sister and I soaked > up good food and good music. A good change of pace! > > Gail in N'Awlins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2001 Report Share Posted May 5, 2001 MP: Gail's daughter is in a private school which is not required to follow the IDEA regulations. That is the reason they are refusing to accommodate . For IEP suggestions, I strongly recommend you pick up a copy of Teaching the Tiger. There are good suggestions, too, on Barb Kirby's aspergers website: http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/ I believe that Tamar Chansky's book, Freeing Your Child from OCD, also contains suggestions. It is wonderful that your son's school is being responsive. It is so important to cultivate a good relationship with the school and to educate them about OCD. Jule > --- > Hi I'm new here and hope you don't mind if I jump in. > My son has missed over a month of school(6th grade) and we are > currently working on " a Plan " - I was wondering what the recommended > accomodations were that the school wouldn't consider. I tried > looking in past post for it, but I'm getting a bit confused in my > search. Our school seems responsive but I really am not sure what to > ask for. > Thanks for any advise, > MP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2001 Report Share Posted May 6, 2001 Gail, in N'Awlins, I think your decision to change schools will benefit - and that was always your first priority! Think to the future!! > Yesterday I took a mental health afternoon and went to the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival. It was a glorious day and my sister and I soaked up good food and good music. A good change of pace! AW! why didnt you call me?? I wanted to go too!!! wendy, envious, in canada _______________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2001 Report Share Posted May 6, 2001 MP Ask the school to test him for special education. Our psychiatrist says a lot of his OCD patients qualify under " Other Health Impairment " . At my son's school I had to be very assertive to get them to test him. He is now in a self-contained special education room and is thriving wonderfully. If he doesn't qualify with that you can always get a 504 Plan. The 504 will outline for the teachers the special accommodations they MUST make for your child because of their disability. Ask your school psychologist about both of these options. I hope this helps you out. Tamra Re: School Blues > --- > Hi I'm new here and hope you don't mind if I jump in. > My son has missed over a month of school(6th grade) and we are > currently working on " a Plan " - I was wondering what the recommended > accomodations were that the school wouldn't consider. I tried > looking in past post for it, but I'm getting a bit confused in my > search. Our school seems responsive but I really am not sure what to > ask for. > Thanks for any advise, > MP > > > > > > > In @y..., GPesses@a... wrote: > > Kathy R, I, too am more than ready for this school year to > end!! is > > coasting to the end, I'm afraid. > > > > We met with the school yesterday and we will be taking her out > of her > > present school. They are unwilling to try the accomodations > recommended in > > the evaluation, saying that they have already done as much as they > feel they > > can. It only took them 4 weeks to actually admit what we have > known for more > > than 2 months! I was the epitome of calm, mostly because I said > very little > > and let Harold do the talking. He was fabulous, with just the > right tone of > > sincerity and yet not just rolling over and playing dead. I > would've been > > hard pressed not to tell the school to shove it. > > > > I am going to look at another private school Monday (I had > already > > started doing my research prior to the meeting) and will also look > at > > programs in the public school. > > > > It's so awkward now - we have not told , who will be > crushed that > > she cannot finish at her school. She's been there for 7 years and > went to > > day care there before. We want to have some definite alternatives > before we > > talk to her about it. > > > > The other awkward part is that Danny graduates from the same > school in 3 > > weeks. While this is better than if he were to still go there and > had > > to leave, we are feeling such a wide range of emotions at the > school - and > > cannot avoid being there with all the graduation festivities this > month. We > > are so proud and overjoyed for his success while being mad, sad, > frustrated, > > you name it - with the school simultaneously. > > > > Yesterday I took a mental health afternoon and went to the New > Orleans > > Jazz and Heritage Festival. It was a glorious day and my sister > and I soaked > > up good food and good music. A good change of pace! > > > > Gail in N'Awlins > > > > You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may subscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List at parentsofadultswithOCD-subscribe . You may subscribe to the OCD and Homeschooling List at ocdandhomeschooling-subscribe . You may change your subscription format or access the files, bookmarks, and archives for our list at . Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Kathy , and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at lharkins@... . > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2001 Report Share Posted May 6, 2001 Thanks for yr reply, We are working on the 504 to have place in the mean time, and his date for testing is in June. His main problem is even getting him to school due to anxiety, we are working on a slow plan, last wk was 2hr for 3dys tom. we are going for 3hrs. Thanks, MP- -- In @y..., " Tamra Wulff " <tjwulff@h...> wrote: > MP > > Ask the school to test him for special education. Our psychiatrist says a > lot of his OCD patients qualify under " Other Health Impairment " . At my > son's school I had to be very assertive to get them to test him. He is now > in a self-contained special education room and is thriving wonderfully. If > he doesn't qualify with that you can always get a 504 Plan. The 504 will > outline for the teachers the special accommodations they MUST make for your > child because of their disability. Ask your school psychologist about both > of these options. > > I hope this helps you out. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2001 Report Share Posted May 6, 2001 HI Gail: Thanks for the update. I admire you for facing the unpleasant truth and for not being too angry at the school. Sometimes people cannot help us with OCD and it is good that they are honest with us about that so we do not waste any more time. There will be some school out there who believe in helping kids like and she will be happy there. THe change will be hard but it certainly sounds like it is time. Good for Harold, he did great advocacy. Soon you will be able to write about promising school arrangements. Take care, aloha, Kathy (h) kathyh@... At 05:36 PM 05/05/2001 EDT, you wrote: > Kathy R, I, too am more than ready for this school year to end!! is >coasting to the end, I'm afraid. > > We met with the school yesterday and we will be taking her out of her >present school. They are unwilling to try the accomodations recommended in >the evaluation, saying that they have already done as much as they feel they >can. It only took them 4 weeks to actually admit what we have known for more >than 2 months! I was the epitome of calm, mostly because I said very little >and let Harold do the talking. He was fabulous, with just the right tone of >sincerity and yet not just rolling over and playing dead. I would've been >hard pressed not to tell the school to shove it. > > I am going to look at another private school Monday (I had already >started doing my research prior to the meeting) and will also look at >programs in the public school. > > It's so awkward now - we have not told , who will be crushed that >she cannot finish at her school. She's been there for 7 years and went to >day care there before. We want to have some definite alternatives before we >talk to her about it. > > The other awkward part is that Danny graduates from the same school in 3 >weeks. While this is better than if he were to still go there and had >to leave, we are feeling such a wide range of emotions at the school - and >cannot avoid being there with all the graduation festivities this month. We >are so proud and overjoyed for his success while being mad, sad, frustrated, >you name it - with the school simultaneously. > > Yesterday I took a mental health afternoon and went to the New Orleans >Jazz and Heritage Festival. It was a glorious day and my sister and I soaked >up good food and good music. A good change of pace! > >Gail in N'Awlins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2001 Report Share Posted May 6, 2001 Hi MP: The accommodations you might want depend on what difficulties your son has at school. Steve missed about two months of school and had a hard time getting ready to go back. Also the teachers did not know what to do. Nor did we so we just learned together. Not the best approach but all that was available to us then. If you share some of your son's difficulties we can suggest things that help. Sometimes it can be more time to get assignments done, less/no homework because of the need to put energy into CBT, a safe place/person he can go to when anxiety spikes, special seating, attending part days, etc. What we found helped was to consider the problems we expected and then arrange for accommodations for these. Of course OCD is tricky and pulled a lot of moves we did not anticipate so we found keeping open communication, explaining OCD to the teachers, and asking for early intervention with any and all problems really helped. Good luck, take care, aloha, Kathy (h) kathyh@... At 11:25 PM 05/05/2001 -0000, you wrote: >--- >Hi I'm new here and hope you don't mind if I jump in. >My son has missed over a month of school(6th grade) and we are >currently working on " a Plan " - I was wondering what the recommended >accomodations were that the school wouldn't consider. I tried >looking in past post for it, but I'm getting a bit confused in my >search. Our school seems responsive but I really am not sure what to >ask for. >Thanks for any advise, >MP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2001 Report Share Posted May 7, 2001 Thanks for yr reply, You've hit on kthe stuff we've already done. My son was in the hospital for almost a month trying to stabilze meds. He was anxious @ school prior to that and worse after. We have been doing partial days and have a tutor.He can go to the Guid. Couns. who he likes and the teachers are being flexible, he's not taking any tests or homework. I think we are handling it -I guess I just fear signing the 504 that I'm forgetting something important. Thanks for yr input. MP--- In @y..., Kathy Hammes <kathyh@i...> wrote: > Hi MP: > > The accommodations you might want depend on what difficulties your son has > at school. Steve missed about two months of school and had a hard time > getting ready to go back. Also the teachers did not know what to do. Nor > did we so we just learned together. Not the best approach but all that was > available to us then. > > If you share some of your son's difficulties we can suggest things that > help. Sometimes it can be more time to get assignments done, less/no > homework because of the need to put energy into CBT, a safe place/person he > can go to when anxiety spikes, special seating, attending part days, etc. > What we found helped was to consider the problems we expected and then > arrange for accommodations for these. Of course OCD is tricky and pulled a > lot of moves we did not anticipate so we found keeping open communication, > explaining OCD to the teachers, and asking for early intervention with any > and all problems really helped. > > Good luck, take care, aloha, Kathy (h) > kathyh@i... > > At 11:25 PM 05/05/2001 -0000, you wrote: > >--- > >Hi I'm new here and hope you don't mind if I jump in. > >My son has missed over a month of school(6th grade) and we are > >currently working on " a Plan " - I was wondering what the recommended > >accomodations were that the school wouldn't consider. I tried > >looking in past post for it, but I'm getting a bit confused in my > >search. Our school seems responsive but I really am not sure what to > >ask for. > >Thanks for any advise, > >MP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2001 Report Share Posted May 7, 2001 Hi MP: A 504 is not set in stone. YOu can always call a meeting as things come up and ask for different accommodations. As you son recovers you will be able to reduce accommodations. We found it necessary to educate the teachers about when they were participating in Steve's OCD and avoidance behaviors. Good luck, take care, aloha, Kathy (h) kathyh@... At 08:14 PM 05/07/2001 +0000, you wrote: >Thanks for yr reply, >You've hit on kthe stuff we've already done. My son was in the >hospital for almost a month trying to stabilze meds. He was anxious >@ school prior to that and worse after. We have been doing partial >days and have a tutor.He can go to the Guid. Couns. who he likes and >the teachers are being flexible, he's not taking any tests or >homework. I think we are handling it -I guess I just fear signing >the 504 that I'm forgetting something important. >Thanks for yr input. >MP--- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2001 Report Share Posted May 11, 2001 Hi Gail, I was sad and disappointed to read how things played out for . She has been very cooperative with testing, etc., and it's difficult not to feel that the school considered all this very lightly. They have shown very little support or concern for a long-time student, and added insult to injury by giving false hope, and spinning out the time it took to give you their decision. Have you been able to identify other possible schools for , and have you told her yet that she won't be returning to her former school? I wonder if she may not be at least in part happy to have a fresh start somewhere else, where she may have a better chance to succeed. Congrats to Danny on his graduation. What are his plans? Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- From: <GPesses@...> > Kathy R, I, too am more than ready for this school year to end!! is > coasting to the end, I'm afraid. > > We met with the school yesterday and we will be taking her out of her > present school. They are unwilling to try the accomodations recommended in > the evaluation, saying that they have already done as much as they feel they > can. It only took them 4 weeks to actually admit what we have known for more > than 2 months! I was the epitome of calm, mostly because I said very little > and let Harold do the talking. He was fabulous, with just the right tone of > sincerity and yet not just rolling over and playing dead. I would've been > hard pressed not to tell the school to shove it. > > I am going to look at another private school Monday (I had already > started doing my research prior to the meeting) and will also look at > programs in the public school. > > It's so awkward now - we have not told , who will be crushed that > she cannot finish at her school. She's been there for 7 years and went to > day care there before. We want to have some definite alternatives before we > talk to her about it. > > The other awkward part is that Danny graduates from the same school in 3 > weeks. While this is better than if he were to still go there and had > to leave, we are feeling such a wide range of emotions at the school - and > cannot avoid being there with all the graduation festivities this month. We > are so proud and overjoyed for his success while being mad, sad, frustrated, > you name it - with the school simultaneously. > > Yesterday I took a mental health afternoon and went to the New Orleans > Jazz and Heritage Festival. It was a glorious day and my sister and I soaked > up good food and good music. A good change of pace! > > Gail in N'Awlins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2001 Report Share Posted May 12, 2001 Kathy R. I now recognize that I am going through a grieving period for . I feel all jumbled inside and it takes more energy to get through the day. We have been actively seeking a better school for next year. She is totally against one of the private schools we looked at (though she does not know this yet) as it is all girls. We just learned that they do not have any openings for next year. This week we will look at the public school near our house. It has a good reputation and she knows some kids who are going there. I'm relieved - the pressure won't be as great there and financially it will be so much easier on us. Plus, the people I've talked to, including another psych. who moved her 3 kids from the same private school to this public school, have been very happy there. I have not told yet. <sigh> I know so well that I'm feeding her the contributory info in small pieces, allowing each piece to sink in before I add the next one. She is very unhappy where she is but is afraid to admit it. I have told her that Harold and I are looking at other schools because we have questions about where the school she has been attending (for 7 YEARS) is the best school for her. She is not protesting as much as before. Once I meet with the new school, i'll have a heart-to-heart and then arrange for her to spend a day there. Danny graduates in exactly 2 weeks! (For those who don't know, I had my 18 y.o. son when I was only 10! I was quite precocious). I marvel at how well he has done since his big crisis a year and a half ago. He has been accepted into the film school at California State University at Northridge (outside LA) and is very excited. He wants to be a film editor who specializes in special effects. I will miss him terribly - but SW Air has direct flights from N.O. to LA daily! Happy Mothr's Day to you and to everyone! We deserve to celebrate! Gail in N'Awlins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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