Re: Stood my ground again, but.../Jean

[Guest guest]

Jean! Great progress!!

You seemed to have ended the drawing arguement fast and without

hesitation!! That is exactly what you need to do - ocd or not, you're right

to reinforce that you are in charge and not or his ocd!! The fact

that never reached anger shows you that internally that is what he

needed - IMO! The quick drawing later could be a demonstration of who's in

charge - did you even acknowledge the drawing? I wouldnt - that would be

supporting his demands!

Our kids have so many internal anxieties that they might pick and choose

what to complain about. At home, feels safe to complain about

everything and you receive a response. It could be that when he is out with

his peers he may not have recieved the appropiate attention when in

distress. It could be that in the past, he complained over everything and,

like the boy who cried wolf, when something real happened, no one listened!

Therefore, has learned not to complain! This is just a theory,

based on what you've described, so dont hold me to it!! You might also want

to consider that s self esteem is probably pretty low right now. He

may not want to cause any conflict between peers, so this could also be why

he's not speaking up for himself.

>My mother-in-law still thinks is just a normal boy

(who has a bad temper and needs spanking) & there isn't

anything to be concerned about. <

Take my advise here, be patient and wait for a diagnosis. With that

information in hand, send HER SON to educate her as much as possible!!

Education is a key to understanding and progress! My mother in law spoils

tom rotten - often rewarding negative behaviours - AUGH!! After years of

trying to convince her that its not us, she has finally come to understand

just how much ocd controls his life, and hers! Did I mention that she has

ocd too??? hehehehe

Have a nice Easter weekend. Keep up your excellent progress. Mistakes are

likely to happen, so dont worry yourself if you slip up!

take care, wendy, in canada

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>Well, had another angry spell tonight. He came downstairs for

>juice before bed and found and me discussing and drawing the bunny

>for Pin the Tail on the Bunny (for the Easter Egg Hunt/Party for

>and his buddies for tomorrow). He insisted on drawing it

>himself, right then. I said, " No, it's time to go to bed. You're

>going to bed. " He got mad and said, " got to draw one, so I

>get to draw one, " and I said ( & maybe shouldn't have since there's not a

>diagnosis yet), " , we are not going to let the OCD run our

>household. Talk back to it. Everything isn't always going to be

>fair. " He yelled, " I don't have OCD! " I said, " Well, you seem to

>think everything between you and should be even and that could be

>OCD. " He huffed off, saying he'd hate me until sometime tomorrow (he

>usually says " for the rest of his life, " so this must be

>progress?!). Well, I thought that ended it and he was sweet and

>cuddly when I went upstairs later and right now when he came

>downstairs, except...that he pulled open my notebook right now,

>grabbed a pencil and said, " This is how I'd draw the bunny. This is

>what it would look like, " and drew a quick sketch of a bunny. Just

>couldn't let it go, I guess.

>>Also, he was up the street this afternoon, playing at a neighbor's

>house and an older boy (who usually causes trouble whenever he's

>around my kids) threw something at and hit him just over the

>eye. Tom discovered it tonight - a red mark over 's eye that

>will most-likely become a black eye. Tom asked him how he got it and

> said the boy threw something at him. Tom asked, " Why didn't

>you tell us about it? " said, " Because I didn't think it'd

>turn into a black eye. " This type of thing has happened several times

>before, where kids do things -either to be mean or during play - that hurt

> and he doesn't speak up about it until later, and

>sometimes not at all. He just won't confront them or come & tell us

>(or whatever adult is in charge at the time) about it right away. Yet he's

>always very comfortable coming to us about any conflict he has with his

>sister. When we looked at it again tonight, said, " See, it's red.

>I won't have a black eye at the party. " I said, " Yes, you will. " He said,

> " Well, I can wear a patch over it. "

>>My mother-in-law still thinks is just a normal boy (who has a bad

>>temper and needs spanking) & there isn't anything to be concerned about.

>>I still wonder if he's driven by too many expectations. >-Jean

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